A/N: Chapters 16-18 seemed more painful than the others so far. How is that possible?
*Disclaimer* I'm still not rich or English and thankfully don't own the original story. I don't own any references but own my comments.
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Chapter 16: The concert is coming! The Concert is coming!
AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz! raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! Hmm, I think she's mad at Raven. BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese! Because violating one language wasn't enough!
We ran happily to Hogsmede. We sang and skipped the whole way there. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing 'Helena' because they seem to be EVERYWHERE. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. But no one caught us and we landed awkwardly, breaking our necks. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers! That actually sounds like a band: Now introducing... VOLDEMORT AND THE DEATH EATERS *cue cheering*
"Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!" I thought that we were already there? I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them"
"What cause we…you know…" he gadgetted Gadget? Inspector Gadget!uncomfortbli cause guys don't like to talk a bout you-know-what. *snorts* Since when?
"Yeah cause we you know!" I yielded in an angry voice.
"We won't do that again." Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT." Dun dun dun!
"OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a Christina Yes, he is now a she named Christina. or what now?"
"NO." he muttered loudly.
"R u becoming a prep or what?" I shootd angrily.
"Enoby! I'm not! Pls come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'Da world is black' by GC to me. But no one cared, so we all died.
I was flattened cause that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me! I- *shaked head* Never mind.
"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.
B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." I bet that's wrong, and if not: Really! 0.0 she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese). "BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math." (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!) D'aww, isn't it nice to see how freindship keeps people together!
"It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed angrily. Laugh... angrily...?
Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. HOW IN THE SEVEN LAYERS OF HELL IS THAT MOVIE 'GOFFIC'? "Maybe Willow will die too." I said. If she does, I hope you go with her.
"Kawai." Cute? What? B'loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. Paradox! "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak." That... that is plain ol' creepy.
"Kawai." I commnted happily. We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie. More telepathy, look at my happy face. -_-
"OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr." AGAIN? I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA."
B'Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. I liKe TO ranDOMLY cApitALiZE tOo! "Omfg totally lets go shopping."
"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde. I'm not sure why they gave me one, it would mean that I would go back there.
"No." My head snaped up. And off, I then died. The shame.
'WHAT?" my head spuin. I see that in a The Exorcist kind of way. I could not believe it. "B'Loody Mary are u a PREP?"
"NOOOO!NOOOO!" She laughed. "I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that's all." No.
"Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don't even SAY that nam to me! Why not?). Or me. Wouldn't you already know then?
"Dumblydore." She sed. "Let me just call our broms." *calls out* BROOM SERVICE!
"OMFFG DUMBLYDORE?" I asked quietly. Um, I thought all caps meant yelling...
"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." She told me. "Come on let's go."
We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs." The... real... goths...?
"Da real goffs?" Me and B'Loody Mary asked. NO, DON'T COPY ME!
"Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch." He shook his head. AHH! Those last four words were spelt correctly. Run for it! "I dint even no they had a camera."
"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle Red what?coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.
"Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said.
"Yeah it looks totlly hot." said B'Loody Mary.
"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked. If sales people just gave away clothes because they looked good on you, you could save so much money...
"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's ebondy dark'ness dementia TARA way what's yours?" She put 'Tara' in her name. I mean a self-insert is one thing, but this borders on criminal. Well, more than it already was.
"Tom Rid." -_- Tom Riddle=Voldemort He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. " I thought Voldemort already had black hair? (Well, when he had hair.) maybe I'll see you there tonight."
"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv!" I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Why would he? Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OMFG EBONDY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!" Hmm, the only black broom I can think of is the Nimbus 2001. Now who gave one of these psycho's something that could be a weapon? Then again they can't figure out how to use their wands as one so I guess an object that can cause blunt-force trauma is beyond their intelligence.
Chapter 17: le Concert
AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz willo isn't rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr! Umm what does this say?
Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual like everyone else in this story). Hargird kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. "WTF Hargrid?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you fjucking bastard." Well anyway Willow came. Hargird went away angrily. I thought Willow was killed. I was thrilled, one less character in this monstrosity.
"Hey bitch you look kawaii." she said.
"Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Willow's really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic. And HOW is that a good thing?
"So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?" she asked.
"Yah." I said happily.
"I'm gong with Diabolo." she anserred happily. Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Start pointless clothes: Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B'loody Mart was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Navel Like a belly-button or like the Navy? but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. End useless descripions. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Draco's black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his dad Lucian gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there….I gapsed. *le gasp*
Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. How does one have an 'ethnic voice'? And how does Tara know the word ethnic? We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers! Sounds like a band! Why do I feel like I typed this already... It's because I did in Chapter 16. *looks up to check* Yep, already talked about the band 'Voldemort and the Death Eaters', though Death Dealers could work too.
"U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily. He- he fired a gun with angst? "Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Draco!" YES! DO IT, DO IT NOW!
"No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife. *Cries* But I thought he had a gun, or a wand!
Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…DUMBLYDORE! She just defaced Dumbledore. You don't just DO that. There has to be some kind of punishment, right?
Chapter 18: Dumbledore is lost
AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep! So everyone's a prep. fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der! So that was along the lines of: Stop flaming, I no longer hate Raven, and something about Dumbledore swearing.
I woke up the next day in my coffin as opposed to my freezer. I walked out of it How do you walk out of a coffin? and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. Why don't you just walk around naked? I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.
(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). To type 'skull' instead of 'school' means you shall be shunned. Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. The bristles? There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.) Least we don't have to read about it.
Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. It was a room with cheese grater's for the walls, floor, and ceiling. It really hurts to trip. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. Pink pants under black pants? And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys. No, you don't get to say that about the Backstreet Boys.
*this whole paragraph can be skipped* "WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow. B'loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi. I saw clothes descriptions and couldn't be bothered to read it.
"Those guys are so fucking hot." Navel the belly-button was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black. He dyed his pet bunny? AND brought it into this story? That's ANIMAL ABUSE!
"….DUMBLEDORE?1!" we all gasped.
"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!" Reasonable, that sounds like a terrifying thing to see. *imagines a goth Dumbledore and shudders in horror.*
"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?" I think it sucks.
Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. HEY! What's wrong with Gryffindor? And where's Ravenclaw? My house isn't here! *sniffles* Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1.
"BTW you can call me Albert." Albus. His name is Albus. HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.
"What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation. We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard)...What...? but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis!" Willow shouted. Despite the fact that Dumbledore is somewhere in his hundreds.
I was so fucking angry. So am I, this thing CONTINUES!
A/N: Review and get virtual pineapples! And no I don't mean cookies!