I own almost nothing. The only character I own is Spark. Enjoy!

Spark: (chewing mouse) Oh, hewwo evwe buddy! (swallows with difficulty) I am a very happy cat, because someone finally sent in a review! (break dances for five minutes and sings "I've Got the Power")

Random Cat: Spark, you sing awesomely!

Spark: I know. Anyway, Foxpaw is at the bottom of the ocean for some reason, (hides submarine receipt in a tree) so my co-host today is one of my reviewers, (consults paper) Leopardclaw!

Audience: Woo-hoo! Yay! Go Leopardclaw!

Spark: (presses RBT and Leopardclaw—a golden she-cat with black spots—falls out of the sky and lands on a rock)

Leopardclaw: (rubs bump on head) Ow.

Spark: You'll get used to it. Anyway, welcome to The Random Factor!

Leopardclaw: I feel welcome. I like pizza.

Spark: Yay, you passed the test!

Leopardclaw: What test?

Spark: The test of Randomness! Cake!

Leopardclaw: Um…good…I hope.

Spark: (taps foot impatiently and checks an imaginary watch) Well?

Leopardclaw: Oh, right! Here is the Box de Randomness! (brings out the box) Would you like to do the honors, Spark?

Spark: Of course. (draws out a slip of paper) And this Random Request is from Harry Potter 101! I need Firestar and Onestar! (presses RBT and two cats hurtle out of the sky)

Firestar: WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!

Onestar: Firestar, you're such a baby!

Firestar: I'm a better leader than you!

Spark: SHUT UP! Okay, you guys have received a Request!

Firestar: No thanks.

Spark: Fine, then you must go through all the pain of receiving each of your painful lives for two moons without ever stopping.

Onestar: NO! I DON'T WANNA!

Firestar: (gulping) All right, we'll do this—this Random Request. (looks scared) Wait, what is it?

Spark: (grinning) Leopardclaw, tell them what their Request is.

Leopardclaw: Firestar, you and Onestar must be in a gay relationship and have kits.

Firestar: Yes, finally! I mean, ew, yuck. (does a happy dance inside)

Onestar: As long as I don't have to get my 'courage' life again. (shudders) That was painful. And I'm not having the kits.

Firestar: Maybe Spottedkit and Sandkit for the girls, and Rockkit and Tallkit for the boys…

Spark: Um, Firestar?

Leopardclaw: How about we go back to the camp with them?

Spark: (nods, and presses the RBT and they all appear in the ThunderClan camp)

Sandstorm: (comes up) Hey, Firestar, what's Onestar doing here?

Spark: (gives Firestar a Look)

Firestar: (lovingly) Onestar is my mate now. Onestar, I love you and always have. (twines tails with Onestar)

Onestar: Um, yes, that's right.

Sandstorm: (jaws fall open) I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FIRESTAR! (flies at Firestar with claws out)

Spark: Oops. I forgot to mention that you also have to take all the beatings and insults that come with this dare.

Firestar: (bleeding) Ow. Onestar, I hope our love can help us through this.

Berrynose: (passing by) Firestar is GAY with Onestar?! GREAT STARCLAN! Hey, everyone, come here!

ThunderClan: What?

Berrynose: Firestar and Onestar are GAY!

Mousefur: *gasp* Why, Firestar, I never would have guessed.

Onestar: (blushes in shame)

Leopardclaw: We're going forward five moons.

Spark: (presses the Button of Time)

* * * * *

Spark: Okay, remember, my Time Button doesn't go that fast, so here's a commercial!

Scourge: Do you want to rule the forest?

Random Power-hungry cat: You bet!

Scourge: Do you want to kill your enemies?

Cat: Who wouldn't?

Scourge: Then you need to join BloodClan! There you will be given a FREE stylish collar studded with teeth, and all you do is sign an eternal contract and prove yourself in a death battle!

Cat: Wow, I'm joining right away!

* * * * *

Spark: Okay, it's been five moons and we're back!

Firestar: (looking adoringly at the three kits beside him and Onestar) They're so beautiful.

Onestar: Let's name the ginger one Firekit Jr.

Spark: Wow, they actually had the kits. And without a gender change.

Leopardclaw: How about Jumpkit for the brown tabby?

Spark: And Sparkkit for the tortoiseshell.

Crowfeather: LOOK! ONESTAR IS GAY! (scratches Onestar's flank)

Onestar: OW!

Nightcloud: Oh my! Onestar, you are GAY!

Barkface: And they even had kits. How in the name of StarClan—?

Tornear: KILL FIRESTAR AND ONESTAR! (all of WindClan and ThunderClan leap at Firestar and Onestar and start tearing them apart)

Spark: Okay, that's the show for today. Bye!

Leopardclaw: See ya!

Spark: SEND IN REVIEWS!

Thanks to the people who sent in reviews. sweetlolitaangel, I will probably use your Request next time. Good-bye!

Special thanks to Harry Potter 101 for your great dare.