VI
"Bollocks!" His curse was met with a giggle which in no way made him feel more secure. "Who in blazes taught you how to drive?" he roared from the passenger seat of the Fiat as Belle stepped on the gas and sent it shooting off down the blessedly empty street. He hadn't been overly concerned when Belle had suggested they take her car – even though he would rather have taken the Cadillac – nor had he felt the need for alarm as she'd backed slowly down the driveway. However, when she'd gained the street and shifted into drive, all bets were off. She drove as if she were on the international speedway and he swore he could feel his balls pressing against the back of his throat as the momentum shoved him back in his seat.
Belle giggled again as she took in his pasty complexion and his finely manicured nails digging into the dash. "You did, Rumpel."
He tightened his seatbelt and gaped at her in affront. "I most certainly did not. If I had, you wouldn't be driving like a bloody maniac." He clutched at the dash again as she swerved to miss the Davidson's cat. She reached over to pat his knee and breezed through a stop sign. "Hands on the wheel, woman!"
Her lips curled into an amused smirk, but she did as he asked. "I wish you would just relax."
"I'll relax when you let me out of this death machine," he growled low under his breath. "Why is it you don't drive my car like this? The night of my accident you drove nice and slowly."
Belle shrugged. "I don't know, really. I suppose that land yacht just intimidates me a bit, being so big and all. Have you not noticed I can barely see over the steering wheel? The Fiat you bought me for a wedding present is much more me." She patted the steering wheel fondly.
Rumpelstiltskin grumbled under his breath, cursing his past self for ever letting her behind the wheel of a car. "I still don't see why you couldn't have let me drive."
She clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and cast him a furtive glance. "Because you don't like to drive the Fiat, darling. You said there isn't enough room for your ankle to be comfortable." She slowed to the speed limit and hurriedly looked both ways before turning onto Main Street. She pulled up across the street from the diner where Archie Hopper's office was located and killed the engine before turning to her rattled husband. "Are you sure my driving bothers you so much, or are you simply nervous because we're going to see Archie?"
Rumpelstiltskin's lips pressed into a thin line of irritation and she could see hints of his former self trying to peek through as he glanced between her and the imposing brownstone building. He stared down at his hands folded around his gold-handled cane where it rested between his legs in the cramped space. "Perhaps a bit of both," he admitted, his attempted smile more of a grimace.
Belle's heart clenched painfully as she unfastened her seatbelt and turned to him. She wrapped her right arm around his shoulders and pressed her brow to his, her nose nuzzling against his own. She held him for a long moment, allowing him to draw strength from her before she spoke in quiet tones meant to soothe him. "It's alright to be afraid of the unknown, Rumpel. It doesn't make you a coward; it makes you human."
He grasped her hand tightly in his and brought it to his lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. "I'm doing this for you, my Belle. I want so badly to remember you. I want to be the kind of husband you deserve instead of this broken shell."
"No," she said with a shake of her head as she gazed searchingly into his eyes. "You're doing this for you. I've already told you … I will love you no matter who you are, memories or no. This has to be something you want to do for yourself."
He squared his shoulders determinedly and reached for the door handle, waiting for her on the sidewalk as she rounded the car and tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow. They traversed slowly up the stairs to Dr. Hopper's office, the lights dim in the reception area. The door to his inner sanctum was ajar and he stepped out with a welcoming smile to greet them. "Belle, Mr. Gold … please, come in," he said in his usual stammer.
Rumpelstiltskin arched a brow at the good doctor before casting his wife a skeptical look, clearly uncertain about the man's credentials. Belle squeezed his arm with her small hand and led him over to the plush sofa across from the chair Archie favored. Belle eyed the doctor up and down wonderingly. "That's a new look for you, Archie," she commented.
Archie looked down at his charcoal pants and thin beige pullover, heat suffusing his cheeks. "Um … yeah, I was helping Ruby and Granny with refreshments for the searchers when you called."
"I really appreciate you taking time on your weekend to see us," she said demurely, settling back against the sofa as her husband twined his fingers with hers. She could feel his apprehension in the small tremors in his hands.
"Of course. I told you anytime." He reached for the small cassette recorder on the table next to his chair and turned it on. He'd transcribe the notes later and add them to Gold's file. "So, please … tell me what brings you in today."
Rumpelstiltskin kept his lips firmly clamped together, his chin lowering and his hair falling over his brow as he closed himself off. Belle took charge, not wishing to cause him any further distress. "Do you remember the elixir Mother Superior made for me when I was suffering from amnesia?" she asked, giving the cricket a telling look.
"Yes, I do. Have you spoken with her about making one for your husband?"
She gnashed her teeth together in vexation at the thought of the fairy. "I did. Unfortunately, she wasn't willing to help. I gave Rum the remainder of the elixir I had at the shop, but I wasn't effective. Or so I thought."
"You think his memories might be surfacing in his subconscious while he dreams," he said, leaning forward to brace his elbows against his knees in his excitement. "There are so many unexplored territories in the human psyche, and I have never known – from my own personal experience – how it would react to a mag-"
Belle cut him off with a warning glare, cautioning him to refrain from any magical phraseology.
"What I mean to say is there really isn't any conclusive studies on how the mind would handle the effects of an experimental elixir. It would be fascinating to do a study –"
Rumpelstiltskin's head popped up as he glowered at the man. "I'm not going to be your guinea pig, Dr. Hopper!" he snarled, his teeth bared. He glanced over at Belle and planted his cane firmly to lever himself up off the sofa. "Belle –"
"No one is going to study you, Rum. Just relax. We're just talking for now, ok?" she murmured soothingly. It was her turn to glare at Archie. "Isn't that right, Archie?"
"I didn't mean to suggest … no, no … um …" he stammered. He poured himself a glass of water from the pitcher and took a long drink. "Mr. Gold, rest assured we won't discuss any protocols which make you uncomfortable."
"I'm already uncomfortable just by being here." Gold gave the doctor a hesitant nod and settled back beside Belle, trying to calm himself and suffer through Hopper's questioning for her sake.
"So, tell me about your dream," Archie encouraged.
When Rumpel wouldn't provide an answer, Belle stepped in to fill in the blanks. "It was the same one as before."
"The one where he dreams of Zelena violating him," he stated for the recording. "And how did you react."
"How the hell do you think I reacted, Hopper?" he hissed, the shaking in his hands more pronounced, his lower lip quivering as he sought the words to make himself clear. "I was her slave! She taunted me," he croaked, his voice heavy with the panic rising in his chest, his breath coming in labored pants as he remembered the nightmare with crystal clarity. "She told me no one would ever want me a-again … Belle wouldn't want me after she was … done with me. Then … then she … she … touching! … touching! … always touching!" He turned to Belle, his eyes wide with fright as he clutched beseechingly at her. "Make it stop!" he cried, his eyes pleading with her to help him.
Belle pulled him into her arms, urging him to lay his head on her lap so she could comfort him, her fingers running smoothly through his soft hair. "Shh, darling, it's alright. Breathe … You're safe … I've got you."
Archie reached out to touch his shoulder and Rumpelstiltskin flinched violently away from him, curling his arms about Belle's legs and hiding his face in her lap. "He'd gotten past this," Archie said softly to Belle. "He was doing so much better. It must be the amnesia preventing him from remembering the steps he'd taken to overcome the trauma."
"I agree," she said, reaching for a tissue from the box on the table to dab at her tears. "What can I do for him now?"
"How much has he remembered … if anything?"
Belle continued to pet her husband, desperate to ease his pain. "Just the one nightmare. He sensed it was more of a memory, and isn't quite sure if he even wants to remember any more. I'm not going to lie to him, Archie. If he asks, I'm going to do my best to answer his questions."
"I think that's for the best. You can never go wrong with the truth, even if it is sometimes painful." He drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair for a moment. "Have you thought about getting away from town for a bit, while he's recovering? I'm sure Madam Mayor has already requested his help with Emma's new dilemma."
Belle sighed and nodded, casting him a disgusted look. "Of course, she has, and I don't look for her to give up anytime soon."
"Mr. Gold mentioned owning a cabin deep in the forest. Have you thought about perhaps taking him there? Fresh air and peace and quiet would do him a world of good in his present state," Hopper suggested.
"I have thought about it. At least it would give him something else to focus on, but is there nothing you can do for him?" she asked, breathing a deep sigh of relief to feel the quaking of her husband's limbs lessen.
Archie shook his head. "I can't prescribe anything for him at the present time. If his memories are coming back to him through dreams, we don't want to suppress them. If we do, there's a chance they might never fully emerge. My best advice is to continue doing what you're doing. Be there for him, let him know you love and support him, ease him through the rough patches. He needs you."
"Archie, I've read that sometimes hypnosis can be a big help in some cases of amnesia. You used it on David when Abigail had gone missing and Snow was being held for her murder. Could you try with Rumpel?" Belle asked, desperate to try anything to help him.
Archie cast her a sympathetic smile. "I need to think on that, Belle. In his present state of distress, I fear his mind would suffer for it. Perhaps in a few days, if he improves and wishes to undergo hypnosis, I could try."
Rumpelstiltskin groaned and tried to sit up, holding a hand to his damp brow. "Belle?"
"It's alright, Rum," she said, helping him to sit back against the sofa cushions. "You just had a small anxiety attack. You'll be fine now."
He glanced sheepishly between his wife and the good doctor, his cheeks reddening as he lowered his gaze to his lap. "I'm sorry, Belle."
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Mr. Gold," Archie stated firmly. "You've been through a great deal over the past year and a half." He poured a glass of water and handed it to his patient. "As I was telling your wife, I'd like to see you in a few days, so please call and make an appointment when you feel ready. If anything should happen in the interim, don't hesitate to contact me."
Belle rose to her feet, a clear plan forming in her mind and bolstering her flagging spirit. "Thank you, Archie. We appreciate your help."
~*X*~
Belle handed Rumpelstiltskin another pair of jeans through the curtain of the dressing room and waited for him to pass the pair he didn't like back to her so she could return it to the rack. She flushed guiltily as she took his regular size and discarded it. It was her own fault that he'd lost weight on his sojourn to New York. If she were going to lose her temper and banish him, the least she could have done was make sure he had his bank card and some spare cash.
He poked his head around the curtain, holding a pair of blue and white floral swimming trunks up between thumb and forefinger. "What is this, dearie?" he asked with mild distaste.
"They're swimming trunks, Rumpel."
"I'm not wearing this," he stated adamantly with an imperious sniff.
Belle recognized the stubborn twist of his mouth which reminded her so much of the imp it sent a pang of longing rocketing straight through her. She had no chance of winning if she tried to talk him into it. She sidled closer to the curtain and peeked up at him through her lashes. "Rum, it's July. The lake at the cabin should be the perfect temperature for a nice relaxing swim," she purred in a sultry tone. "If you don't choose a pair of trunks … well I suppose we could always go skinny dipping. I just didn't know you were quite ready for that."
His throat worked convulsively as he swallowed, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. He stared at her for a long moment, fighting his urge to haul her into the dressing room with him and kiss her senseless. Teasing minx! "Perhaps a solid color would suit me better?" he whispered huskily, his fingers curling tightly into the curtain.
"I'll see what I can find." She flounced off with a sway of her hips to peruse the rack for something more fitting, hanging the discarded pair on the rack. After several minutes, she found a pair of black trunks with a three-inch gold border about the waist and legs. "Perfect!"
If they were going to the cabin for a few days, she wasn't going to have him gallivanting through the forest in a three-piece suit. She'd chosen five pairs of jeans in various shades of blue, three pullover sweaters, four button down shirts in several different colors, a few t-shirts and a pair of hiking boots which would help support his ankle if they did any extensive walking. She wanted him to be comfortable.
He'd balked at first over her idea to rusticate at the cabin, but with a little cajoling and a brand-new deal – no less than four days at the cabin and in return she'd owe him the same amount of days at the shop – he'd finally given in. Thankfully, Marco had agreed to help out at the library in her absence and Dove would handle things at the shop. Dove was also busy that afternoon shopping for necessities and a long list of other things Belle wanted him to stock the cabin before they arrived. He'd been only too happy to oblige.
Belle grinned secretly at the tiny thrill of excitement coursing through her. Four days … alone … at the cabin … with no bloody interruptions. She was practically giddy with glee. They would be able to work on their marriage. This was their chance to get to know one another all over again, and she couldn't wait. She sauntered back over to the dressing room and thrust the trunks through to him. "What about these?"
She heard him grumbling as he took the proffered item from her. "Well at least there are no insipid palm trees on these." He handed the jeans he'd just tried on back to her before trying on the bathing suit. "Add those to the pile, Belle. I like the way those fit," he commented.
"Aren't you going to let me see how they fit?" she asked after a moment and he still hadn't emerged from behind the curtain.
"No."
"What do you mean, 'no'?" she asked, her brow furrowing in puzzlement. He hadn't hesitated to come out and model his new selections before. "Rum, what's wrong?"
His voice was muffled so that she hardly heard him. "I feel too exposed."
"What was that?"
When he didn't answer, she whipped the curtain aside and joined him in the cramped stall, closing it securely behind her. She drew in a sharp breath as she took him in, wearing nothing but the black and gold trunks, fiery desire blazing to life in her veins and heat pooling low in her belly. She cleared her throat as she stepped behind him and peered over his shoulder, her eyes meeting his in the mirror. "What's wrong, my love?" she whispered, balling her fists at her sides to stop herself from touching him.
His gaze dropped to the floor as he sighed in disgust. "I don't want to go swimming if I have to be so exposed."
Belle couldn't help herself a moment longer and wrapped her arms about his waist, her hands splaying out over the flat plane of his belly. "No one is going to see you but me, Rumpel. But why would it matter? You look wonderful." He still wouldn't raise his gaze to the mirror again. "Tell me what you see. Look at the mirror and tell me," she coaxed in a gentle tone.
"I don't need to look, Belle. The only thing in the mirror is a lame cripple who shouldn't be allowed to go out in public unless he's properly clothed so as not to scar children and young maidens with his hideousness."
She tightened her arms about him and placed a soft kiss on his shoulder. "Is this alright, Rum?" she asked, wanting his permission to touch him. She never wanted him to feel as though he were forced to accept her caresses.
With her heels, she was nearly as tall as him. He could feel the soft swells of her breasts pressing into his bare back, the warm weight of her slender arms wrapped comfortingly about his torso and the softness of her lips as they teased his shoulder. He was mesmerized by the sight of her as he raised his gaze back to the mirror. He wanted nothing more than the comfort and pleasure of her embrace. "Yes," he said, unable to take his eyes off of her.
Her nails traced little patterns over his heated flesh, a pleased smile quirking her lips as she noticed the growing bulge in his pants. "Do you want to know what I see in the mirror, my Rumpel?" she whispered, her hands inching upward towards his chest. "I see my husband, whom I love more than anything in this world or the next. I see a handsome man with a strong, lean frame. I see the man my heart chose. I see nimble fingers which can bring me pleasure as easily as they write out the fine points of a deal."
"My leg –"
"- is a part of you. I love every inch of you, Rumpel, even the scars," she murmured, nuzzling her nose beneath his ear as her fingers stroked over his flat male nipples.
She let her arms fall away from his body as he turned and pinned her to the wall of the dressing room, his eyes searching hers as his hands curled over her hips. She kept her gaze trained on him, maintaining eye contact. He needed to see that it was her, to know it was her touch, her warmth enveloping him. It was one thing she'd learned quickly when he'd come home after his long captivity. Slowly she let her hands trail over his arms to rest against his shoulders, waiting to see if he would give in to his desire. He'd always desired her, with or without his memories. No spell could mask true love for very long.
Rumpelstiltskin looked uncertain as he leaned in and pressed his brow to hers, his warm breath fanning out over her lips. She sighed happily and tilted her face up, offering herself to him. His gaze darted hesitantly between her eyes and her lips, still puzzled as to why she would want him. She lifted her hand to brush the hair away from his brow, cupping his cheek and applying just enough pressure to urge him closer, to close the distance between them and claim what he so desperately wanted.
His cock twitched eagerly against her belly as his lips brushed sinuously over hers, claiming her lower lip between his own and sucking gently. It was almost too much, yet not enough. He was as close to her as he could possibly be, yet not close enough. She consumed him, a raging inferno of everything in life he needed. Belle was gentleness and warmth, comfort and love and he wanted her so much. He thanked the gods for sending her to him and giving him a chance to share his life with her. He whimpered softly as her tongue tentatively stroked against his, a coil of pure electricity rolling over him to settle at the base of his spine.
Her fingers delved into his hair, her nails scratching pleasantly against his scalp. She kept her kisses gentle, fighting against the urge to take control, to push him back against the opposite wall and ravage his mouth with lips, teeth and tongue until they were lost in a mindless vortex of desire. She keened softly as his tongue glided over the roof of her mouth, pressing closer and reveling in the obvious evidence of his arousal. Goosebumps erupted on her skin as he whispered her name reverently against her mouth, swallowing down his murmured whisperings with a sigh of pleasure.
Reluctantly, she clamped down on the surge of lust spiraling through her and broke the kiss, smiling knowingly up at him. "So … does this mean we can buy the trunks?"
He breathed heavily against her neck as he rested his brow on her shoulder, trying his best to calm his raging need for her. "As you wish, little minx," he murmured, remaining in her embrace for a moment longer. "I think you've convinced me."
~*X*~
By the time they'd returned home and packed a bag, it was late in the day. She was still a bit piqued that Rumpelstiltskin had insisted on driving home, not wishing to 'risk his life, nor what was left of his sanity' on the short drive back to the house. She'd brought his bags upstairs and dumped everything on the bed, rummaging through his new purchases to choose what she would pack for their stay at the cabin and leaving the rest to sort through when they returned. Now, sitting next to him in the Cadillac as they pulled away from the house to begin their journey, she had to admit he looked extremely handsome in his dark blue jeans and white button down. She could definitely get used to his new look, even if he only wore them around the house.
"It's getting late. We could stop off at Granny's and grab a burger if you'd like," Belle suggested, settling back comfortably in her seat. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so relaxed. "Dove stocked the cabin for us, but I would rather spend time with you and worry about cooking for us tomorrow."
A small smile lit Rumpelstiltskin's face as he turned towards her and reached out for her hand, his thumb brushing over her wedding and engagement rings. He'd shyly asked her if she would wear them again and she wouldn't deny him. They were starting anew in their relationship and each of them seemed more than happy to take whatever steps possible to ensure their mutual happiness. He'd promised to be honest with her and if there was one thing in the entire universe she knew for a fact, it was that Rumpelstiltskin never went back on his word.
"With pickles?" he asked, lifting her hand to brush his lips over her fingers.
"With extra pickles," she agreed with a warm smile. Some things never changed regardless of amnesia and apparently his love of pickles was one of them. "I'll order our dinner to go and we can eat at the cabin. I'd really like to get out there before nightfall."
He nodded and pulled into any empty space on the street next to the curb, killing the car, getting out and rounding the front to help her out. She tucked her hand in his and let him lead her up the front steps. The diner was a hive of activity. Henry and Ruby handed out food and drink to the members of the latest search party which occupied several booths next to the window where Mary Margaret sat rocking little Neal.
Belle moved to the counter and perched upon one of the stools next to her husband as Granny came out of the kitchen and gave her a searching look. "Belle, how are you, dear?" she asked, her eyes widening as they came to settle on Rumpelstiltskin. "And what happened to you? You raid a thrift store?"
He gave her a dry look as Belle chuckled. "We're going up to the cabin for a few days. Archie suggested it, and the forest is no place for his lovely suits," she explained. "Could we get a couple of burgers to go?"
"With pickles, please," her husband added.
"Sure," Granny said, writing their order down on her pad and taking it over to the window. She returned a moment later and filled two takeout cups with sweet iced tea.
Belle took a sip and let her gaze wander over to the crowd by the window. "How is the search going for Emma? Any luck in finding her?"
"No. Unfortunately, she tricked that man of hers into giving her the dagger," the woman said with a shake of her head.
"What? Tell me you're not serious," Belle gasped, horrified to think Emma was running amok with no way to control her. The savior was too new to such power and couldn't be coping well.
Rumpelstiltskin's brow furrowed as he tried to follow the conversation, his skin prickling at the mention of the dagger. "What dagger?"
Belle squeezed his hand and promised, "I'll tell you later."
Henry slid onto the seat next to her and gave her a one-armed hug. "Hi, Gr- um, Belle." His eyes grew wide as he took in his grandfather's casual attire. "Wow, Mr. Gold. Nice duds." He leaned in close to his grandmother so he wouldn't be overheard. "Have you made any headway with Grandpa's memory problem?"
"Not really," she said with a wry twist of her lips. "We went to see Archie this morning. It seems he's getting flashes of memory through his dreams. We're hoping perhaps he'll get enough where they all return, but we don't know yet what will happen." She shook herself mentally and pasted a concerned smile on her face. "So, what happened with your mom?"
He sighed dejectedly, thanking Granny when she set a steaming mug of cocoa before him. "Killian is an idiot."
Rumpelstiltskin snorted. "I take it you don't care for your mother's beau?"
"That's putting it mildly." Henry stared wistfully at his grandfather, wishing he could remember so he'd have someone who shared his feelings about the pirate. "He refused to listen to mom – my other mom – and summoned her. She had the dagger in her hand in less than five minutes."
Belle shook her head. Emma would have been powerless to use magic against the dagger's master. "She used her feminine wiles against him, didn't she?"
"Yup. Laid a big sloppy kiss on him and snatched it right out of his hand." He gestured to the group of men and women sipping coffee and waiting for assignments. "We have everyone searching, but every time we seem to get close, she disappears."
Rumpelstiltskin took the bag and the check and left his seat to settle the bill, giving Belle a few more moments with Henry.
"What is it they expect to do once they are able to locate her?" Belle asked.
Henry brightened considerably. "Do you remember the cuff that rendered Mom powerless? The one Greg and Tamara brought with them when they came to destroy magic?"
"Of course, but Rumpel died wearing it," she said, glancing over her shoulder to make sure her husband hadn't overheard.
"There were more," he whispered conspiratorially. "They were in the evidence room at the station. It seems there were more of them in Greg and Tamara's trailer. While everyone was in Neverland trying to rescue me, Leroy and his brothers rounded up the contents of the trailer and stored it for Emma and Mom to go through when we got back. With everything that happened with the second curse and everyone going back to the Enchanted Forest for a year, it was forgotten."
"So, you're hoping to get close enough to slip a cuff onto her. Brilliant!"
"I thought so too, that's why I suggested it," he grinned. "I've been watching the book closely, hoping a new story would write itself, but nothing's come up. I'm really regretting snapping that magical quill in half. I could have fixed this."
Belle laid her hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You didn't know. You were only trying to do the right thing." She'd been stunned to hear the news that Henry was the new author. Thankfully, the two gossips she'd overheard in the ladies room yesterday hadn't noticed her when she'd come in. They probably wouldn't have cared either way.
The boy's eyes sparkled, and his lips turned up in a curious smirk. "Belle? Do you think the book might help spark Grandpa's memory if you read it to him? Like when Gram read to Gramps in the hospital when he was in a coma?"
She stared at him in surprise. "I-I don't know."
"It's worth a shot, don't you think?" Before she could respond, he rushed over to the table and grabbed his backpack, retrieving the story book and returning to her side, holding it out to her.
"Are you sure you can do without it for a while?" she asked, hope springing to life within her chest. Her gaze searched for her husband where he stood next to the door patiently waiting for her.
Henry nodded. "I think we could use Grandpa's knowledge and cunning to get Mom to listen to us. If it works, that is."
Belle took the book from him and clasped it to her chest, a bright smile lighting her face. "Thank you, Henry. You've given me something I was in desperate need of."
"Yeah? What's that?"
"Hope."
A/N: I've got lots of stuff planned for our beloved Rumbelle during their stay at the cabin, but I have no idea how much I'll be able to fit into the next chapter. So, I won't even attempt to tell you what's coming next. I do hope you enjoyed this chapter. I wanted to add a little humor before the angst. Belle's driving and Rum's reaction to it made me laugh. Hope you did, too! Thank you all so much for the reviews, kudos, follows and favs. You guys are so wonderful.