After driving for approximately five days, they finally reached Cedar Point.
"Finally! I can sleep!" Charlisle said, collapsing at the wheel.
"We hath finally reached Cedar Point!" Ewdard and Jackobub and Renessmee rejoiced in unison.
"Renesmme, my maybe child," said Ewdard, "what wouldst thou liketh to do first?"
"Ohh! First I wanna—" then her mobile telephone did buzz. "Oh, hold on, I'm getting a text from Brandon!"
"Who is Brandon?" asked Jackobub.
"The cute boy at school who's been talking to me!" said Renseeme.
"Oh, how romantic!" said Esme.
"But wait," said Ewdard, "how didst thou meet a boy at school if you've been in the van for 5 days?"
"Idk," said Renesme, "all I know is he is one sexy boy and—OMG that is a bigass member!" she did verbally exclaim upon receive a "sext" from the boy. Renesseme was now about 17.
"Rensme," Jackobub did say to her verbally, "wouldst thou like to go on a roller coaster?"
"CRY!" said Renseeme as water came out of her eyes. "Brandon did dump for Vanessa the cheerleader!"
"Be not sad, my beloved possibly daughter," said Ewdard, "once we hath determined who is your father, you will be able to engage in sexual intercourse with whoever is not your father."
"Im gonna kill that fucking bitch Vanessa for spilling applesauce on my new dress when I was trying to look cut for the nw sexy chemisty teacher its not write that I got grounded for smashing a rock thru their windshield!" sed Rensmeems
And then Rensemee pulled out a really big gun with nifes and stuff and shot VEnessa in the head with it and screemed take that bich! And Vanessa was ded