Not What We Thought
Chapter 7
Theresa couldn't believe her daughter would do something like this. She knew Alex could be a bit irrational sometimes but this was crazy it seemed unreal to her. What was she thinking when she….what had driven her to do this was it because of her and Carl she wouldn't be able to forgive herself if it was, was it being a mum the separation from her child, were her and Justin fighting was college tough…. What? She suddenly remembered when Alex was little and she youst to take her to school when they youst to spend quality time with her baby but now she didn't want to have anything to do with her. She slowly opened the door and saw Alex on the bed holding Justin's hand they were talking Alex looked tired very tired and broken. The door closed with caught both their attention, they didn't say anything for a few seconds until Justin decided to break the silence he decided that Alex and her mum needed alone time to talk he knew Alex wasn't speaking to her but it was her mum "I'm going to go to the bathroom" he said while standing up and walking to the door, she knew exactly what he was doing she wasn't born yesterday. Theresa gave him a thank you look and with that he left the room. Theresa saw Alex looking at her she slowly walked closer to the bed and Alex started fiddling with her hands "Mija sweetie I'm your mum and just because you don't want to talk to me doesn't mean I won't be there I never stopped caring I'll never stop" Alex sighed and whispered "I know your my mum it's your job I understand" Theresa sat on the seat "I'm sorry about everything that's happened I made a decision and I broke things off with Carl I don't want us to be at war for a guy that's not us" Alex was shocked that her mum had done that she didn't see that coming… at all. "Mum you didn't have to do that it's your life" "And I decided this is for the best" Theresa smiled Alex couldn't stay mad "I love you mum and I'm sorry" Alex said finally "I love you too Mija and I'm sorry as well" "Now you're probably wondering what I was thinking" "Well that thought did cross my mind" Theresa nodded, she was going to tell her mum she'd understand "Mum have you ever experience the feeling of um losing something that you didn't know existed but when you do it's too late because it's gone and then you, you feel empty and depressed and you do these things that you didn't think you'd do" Alex said while tears came down her face "Well when your father passed Alex I was broken so were you and your sister" "Mum…" Theresa was scared now "What is it Alex you're scaring me" Theresa said "Mum I, I lost a baby that that I didn't know existed and I thought that by doing what I did would take that pain away" Theresa was speechless Alex had got pregnant again and lost it she could believe her baby had to go through that "Mija…. I'm sorry" she said and leaned over and hugged her they both cried in "Mum I, I didn't know what to do but I wasn't alone Justin and my roommate Hayley were there" "Mija I'm glad you weren't alone" "Me to" she said quietly.
People were coming in and out with the visiting. She couldn't move her body it was completely in pain she had never this weak in her life she couldn't even hold her own child, she needed help for everything and it was frustrating but it was her own fault she got herself into this mess she had no one to blame but herself. Her phone buzzed on the nightstand she reached her hand out she had a few missed calls and a text from Hayley.
Alex how's it going what's happening why aren't you here are you okay
Hayley
She was supposed to be back a few days ago she started typing
Haven't been feeling well staying home for a while
Alex
Being away from NYU would be good for her she needed to be around family and focus on herself her child and Justin and college would prevent that it was probably the only way she'd get over this properly. She had asked Justin loads of times if he was okay with it because he was studying law and it was a big deal but he said he could do it online and it was no biggie. Even if it was he wouldn't say because that was just the kind of person he was.
After nearly two weeks she was finally being realised but she still could barely walk and was getting a lot of pain. She was putting the last few things in her bag and she was finding it very difficult to keep her balance but she suddenly felt a hand steady her. She turned around and saw Justin and pecked him on the lips "Are you okay" he asked "Yeah you known been trying to find my balance been bed ridden for a while getting youst to being on my feet" Justin nodded "Max and Kai are in the car when you're ready" she smiled "Alex you know I've been looking online when you're ready…" she cut him off "Tonight you can show me I want to do it as soon as possible" the nurse came in "Mrs Russo are you okay have you got everything the doctor gave you is there anything you need" she asked kindly "Um thank you and um it's ok I'm ok" "Well that's great have a nice day Mr and Mrs Russo" the nurse smiled before they could reply she left. Alex picked up her bag and Justin took her hand and they walked out of the hospital to the car park when they got there Alex saw Kai waving at her she smiled and waved back Max was on the other side and was and was using his blackberry. Justin opened the door for her and she hoped in "Hi mama" Kai said "Hi sweetie" "Hey Alex feeling okay" Max asked as he lifted his head from his blackberry "Much better thanks" Justin got in from the other side "Bro I'm starving can we stop off at McDonalds or something I think I'm going to faint" Max complained "Yeah I guess we could go through the drive thru" Justin said.
Max was carrying the food and was running into the kitchen food mad him crazy to say the least. Max was eating that burger like there was no tomorrow, Alex however was looking at her plate literally horrified she felt ill, these past couple of weeks food just seemed to make her want to barf. "Lexi aren't you going to eat" Justin asked "No I don't think so I'm not really hungry" she said while shaking her head. "I'll eat it for you" Max suggested Alex smiled at her brother in law "Knock yourself out" she said shifting the plate towards him "Alex are you sure I mean you didn't have that much at the hospital" Justin stated Alex rolled her eyes "Baby I said I'm fine" she replied trying to keep her cool "Maybe I shouldn't" Max replied as he saw an argument might be coming over a McDonalds Burger Alex rolled her eyes "I'm just not hungry right now, I'll eat something later" she said Justin sighed "Please don't say that we all know you won't" "Oh my gosh I just got home and I have to come back to ranting…unbelievable" she said in disbelief she got up and left leaving Kai. Max and Justin "Bro maybe you shouldn't be on her as much she was in hospital for two weeks she's tired" "Max she doesn't eat do you know how scared I am I can't be without her he can't either" Justin said motioning to Kai "Bro I understand but that's why you're getting that help to put you back on track" They were interrupted by Kai "Daddy I full up now" he said cheerfully holding up his empty plate Justin's frown turned into a smile "Good boy".
She was in the bedroom looking through albums of their wedding party, Kais first birthday and loads of others with close friends and family, she loved those memories it made her smile even on the darkest days. She wishes they could go back to when they were like those pictures she really does. She heard the door and saw Justin "Are you ok I'm so sorry about before I got a little dramatic" "It's okay I'm fine and I'm sorry for everything" "What are you looking at" "Some old albums where's Kai" "Um downstairs with my mum dad and Max watching a film" "Well don't stand there come sit with me" he walked over and sat next to her Alex turned the page "I remember that mum was running up and down trying to find the perfect cake" "Yeah I think she was more stressed than we were" Alex laughed "Max booked that clown and most of the kids were crying" "Well that's what happens when you leave you brother in charge of entertainment" they had a lot of apologies to do. "Aw Kai's christening" Alex said "Remember when all the girls wanted to be godmother Justin laughed "Well we did decide" Alex said "Rock paper scissors really Alex" " Well it was fair and Bailey was really happy" Alex shrugged "I guess" replied Justin. Alex decided to ask the question "Um Justin can you show ne um what you um found?" she asked nervously "Are you sure" he asked "Yeah I'm ready" she said he took out his mac book logged in and opened up a webpage "Okay I found two whatever one you're comfortable with its your decision" he said a website page showed up "This is um a therapy place one of the best in town I've heard" she could tell he was a little uncomfortable the way he kept stalling with each word "They deal with a lot of things from loses and um, um problems" "Ok" she said quietly. He minimized the screen and opened another page "This is a centre where women that have….um you know go and talk" "Is it just for women can men come too" she asked curiously "I don't really think so" he replied she didn't want to go on her own so that wasn't an option "I think I prefer therapy its more private and I think we should do this together as a couple you know" "That's what I thought but I wanted to run it by you first she smiled "Call them" "Now" Justin asked in disbelief "Yes now" she said "Are you sure I mean we've got time" she rolled her eyes and pulled out her IPhone "DIAL" she said firmly "Ok I'll call them" she could be very demanding.
Next Day
"So what's the plan to get Rocky back?" asked Jack "Well I was thinking…"
Rocky, CeCe and Kim were all dolled up and ready to go for their girls night out at a local restaurant. "Guys I just wanted to say thank you for everything these last couple weeks have been crazy and you've been there through thick and thin" They all walked out the house and linked arms "Well what are friends for" CeCe smiled . Kim's Nokia buzzed it was a text fron Jack
Have you guys left?
Jack
She quickly typed back
Yes on are way be ready
Kim got her other hand and lightly tapped CeCe making sure Rocky didn't notice CeCe looked at her and she nodded. Mission underway.