TA: Again, unbelievably short...

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

Missing Pages

Chapter 6: Day 364 - "Forever"

"Let's meet again in the next life."

Hah... I can't tell you why I said it. I don't even know why. Maybe I just felt that it was fitting. I guess I wanted to give this Roxas something to believe in... maybe give him a hope and crush it, as he did to me. ...No, that's not right. I'm not bitter towards him. Never, never towards Roxas... Well, maybe a little... But not then. Honestly, I wanted to believe that what I said could happen. I hoped that we could have met again, in different circumstances, in a situation that would've worked for us.

But something like that can't happen. At least, not for me. I realized that shortly after making the statement, after watching him agree wholeheartedly to it.

"Silly, just because YOU have a next life..."

I left him standing there, disappearing into the darkness that I had come to know so well. I wasn't satisfied. Not with this ending. Not at all. I vaguely wondered as I appeared back in his room, if my words gave him something to think about, something he might want to remember... But then I remembered those not-so-empty but very clueless eyes that fell upon me six days ago and I laugh at the thought.

I remind myself again, bitterly, as I lay down on his bed... The Roxas that I knew is long gone. He was gone longer than just a week, he was gone for nearly a year. Then, I begin to wonder. What would have happened had I kept the entries as they were? If I had kept my hands to myself? If I had let him keep his very first memories?

Staring out of his bedroom window, I think about how many times during the past year I had gone in and out of this room without his knowing, without him ever finding out? And I wonder again, how many times I found myself disappointed upon reading about things unrelated to me, finding that my name was disappearing from the pages of his memory. ...And I wonder again, how long have I been hurting? How long have I been feeling for Roxas?

This isn't to say that I didn't enjoy his company when we were "friends." I did. We could laugh about nothing at all and still be natural. We could be happy and content just by having the other there. Up there, on that clock tower with just the two of us... I wished that they were memories I could keep.

I placed his WINNER stick in my pocket, y'know, in case he ever decided to have another ice cream sunset with me one last time. It had been in my pocket ever since he left. Ever since he turned his back on us, on me, but I don't blame him. I don't blame him for thinking that I wouldn't miss him. I don't blame him because I was a shitty friend and an even shittier lover, if I could even be called that. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better if he had been assigned to someone else all those days ago, but then I'd hit myself for even thinking that. I don't regret anything I've done for Roxas, with Roxas... not even for the organization...

But if I had another chance, with my whole being, I'd give myself to Roxas, and never look back and never doubt that what we felt was real. ...But that's the problem with wanting just Roxas.

Sitting upright on his bed and patting the WINNER stick down in my pocket for safe keeping, I decided I needed to see him one more time, just one last time until...

Roxas let out a frustrated growl from the other side of the metal door, tossing around what I'm assuming is his keyblade. I could hear the metal keychain clanking against the keyblade as he swung it around, but at what, I can't even guess. I heard a few more mumbled noises, and what seemed like a release of pressured air.

"Sora." I breathed, understanding why everything had gone quiet in an instant.

"Sora, you're lucky." Roxas said softly. "I guess my summer vacation is... over."

I let a shaky breath, but cut it short when the pods beside my started to release the same sound of escaping air. I placed my hand on the door, closed my eyes and pictured Roxas there, facing his somebody. And I guess I'd have to agree with him... Sora really is lucky.

Next time I saw Rox- No, I guess I should be calling him Sora now, he was about to aboard a funny looking train, saying goodbye to those Twilight Town kids that we used to watch so long ago from our shared darkness and distance. Even from where I was, I caught it. My breath hitched and suddenly, I couldn't breathe. A tear rolled down the brunette's cheek and had slid down completely before he took notice of it, startling himself with the sight.

"Roxas," I breathed, about to take off for him. For the briefest of moments, Sora was Roxas, not the other way around. For a split second, I saw his image instead of Sora's, but... it still wasn't the Roxas that I knew. So I kept myself back, hidden by the shadows and the blind spots of others, and left the train station, deciding that I needed to disappear from Twilight Town for a while. I don't think I'll be able to come back to this town... definitely not for a while.

"Axel."

Summer vacation. Over? Yeah, I guess so... But Roxas, do you really know what today is?

"Promise me this."

I gave the clock tower a sideways glance before looking away into the darkness, my chest hurting tenfold of its usual ache. "Today marks the end of 'forever.'"

"I promise you, Roxas. Forever and ever."

MISSION COMPLETE

TA: DDDDDD: Please spare me the pitchforks... I can go jump off a cliff if you tell me too DX