The door creaked of age when he slid it open, and the wood was dusty beneath his heels, effectively dirtying the whites of his socks.
Photographs of a young woman with eyes as blue as his own, and long blonde hair that trailed the floor could be seen everywhere. Lining the walls, standing on the dirtied coffee tables, Len found even more when he took a step in deeper to emerge within the untouched living room.
His grandparents' house. His childhood home.
He held in a sneeze to take in his surroundings. There was a baby grand piano in the corner of the room, and he forced himself to look away and instead towards the shelf above it, where the image of that same woman was captured within a frame. Rather, instead of long, endless hair, it was cut above her chin and she had a giggling child held to her chest as the blue skies shone above their heads. A child who looked exactly like herself, from the identical nose to the identical smiles, with dimples above their cheeks.
A child that was him.
He walked over to another door and wrestled it out from the rust to reveal the garden. Where there once stood daisies and sunflowers popping from the ground, now there was only dry grass and an old pond that was empty of water.
The skies were no longer blue.
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His jacket smelt of smoke and burnt paper.
An image of that woman's smile between the dancing flames flashed between his mind in a shock of pain against his chest. He couldn't identify what that emotion was, whether nostalgia, guilt, or an emotion that never before crossed his path until then.
It was too late to go back now. He adjusted his bag over his shoulder and took a sip of water from a bottle. His eyes closed and he forced his mouth to stretch into a grin ー a grin he hoped wouldn't look like hers.
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Len was back within two days. His movements were quick, depositing the key back into the dollhouse in the same position it was before so his father wouldn't notice anything out of place ー and in due time because right after he turned the lock, there were the telltale sounds of footsteps coming from the exterior corridor and a repetitive knock on their apartment door.
The young man took a deep breath.
One, two, and he fixed his clothes before opening the door.
He expected his gaze to meet the dark glare of his father's, expecting an explanation on where he'd been, only to stiffen when he met the surprise of Kagamine Rin standing outside his doorstep with something that seemed like tears in her eyes. His bag dropped to the floor, and she slunk her arms around his waist and buried her head in his chest so she could release a soft cry.
"Rin?"
She cried louder.
He wasn't sure it it's because she's happy he finally got her name right, or if there was something else that happened and she was taking her own sweet time in telling him.
"Did something happen to.. that?" Len urged gently. It was by luck that she'd dismissed his usage of 'that,' rather than 'baby'. He wasn't comfortable with the term yet and he doubted he'd ever be.
Rin shook her head, and he tried to consider a different suggestion.
Nothing came to mind.
"Take a deep breath. Do you want some tea?"
"I came..." She finally spoke up, words softer than a whisper. He had to feel the tenor against his chest. ".. I visited y-your house.. a while ago. Yesterday, too. And you didn't ー you didn't answer the door, so I thought.."
"That I disappeared?" No response. "That I got sick?"
He nearly fell back when she shook her head so aggressively, throwing them both off balance.
Len debated on pulling her to the couch, but with consideration that his father would more likely than not return home to find them in this situation (if he was particularly unlucky, which proved right enough times that he'd do anything but throw caution to the wind), the blond instead dragged the girl to his bedroom, locking the door behind them so they wouldn't need to worry about anything unnecessary.
She hadn't let go of him even once, even after they sat down on the mattress. He tried another guess. "Alright. That I ran away?"
This time, she nodded.
"Oh, wow." It's reassuring to know she cares more about abandonment towards her rather than his physical health, it really is.
The boy his bottom lip. He cupped his own chin and leant back on a pillow, staring up at the ceiling with the calmest voice he could muster. "It's fine. I wouldn't do that. Stop crying, it's only for two more months, right?"
And for these upcoming two months, I promise I'll look after you with everything I've got.
But he couldn't voice that out.
Not yet, at least, not until he's really sure she wasn't trying to get him to dance between her fingertips. Not until he's sure he can step away from the flames.
(Because somehow, the warmth of her smile can set him on fire.)
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Albeit having previous confidence, the pressure really was growing onto him. He managed for a week, observing her when he could, and they way she can handle herself to the point of no longer collapsing in the middle of any corridors was a blessing to take.
The only problem was that she didn't bother making their relationship discreet.
Everyday, calling his name so casually as if they were friends. They weren't. He won't acknowledge her as one.
Not in this lifetime and most likely not even in the next. Despite those hands that were warm to the touch and sweet lips that drove him to to the sun, they clashed together like fire and ice. They weren't meant to be.
When he left class on the next Monday morning, she was waiting outside the door, bag held in front of her stomach tightly as if needing it for warmth. Her eyes lit up the moment he stepped out, causing Len to fight against the temptation to walk off with his friends and leave her standing helplessly on her own
A drip of sweat ran down his spine.
You promised, the words flash through his mind. You promised.
He's had enough of broken promise. Len brought his feet towards her, and she glowed brighter than the morning twilight. His friend, Piko, stood from a distance with a knowing grin and he puckered his lips towards the air to suggest something would happen between him and Rin.
Yet his thoughts were grim ー whatever was suggested had already happened and there was nothing he would've wished for more than to reverse the clock.
She looked as if she wanted to grab his hand but when he gave her an impatient look that spoke enough words than needed to be said, the young lady moved her eyes down as if ashamed, and led the way to the nurse's office without a single word said between them.
On the way, he requested she tone down on the familiarity and she agreed without protest.
His hands spread her across the bed and they drew the curtains around them so she could lay back and pretend their moment was stuck in time. So he could touch her body with cold hands and wish for the exact the opposite.
They were never meant to be.
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He spent the evening with a friend at the beach. Piko was throwing rocks into the water, and he vaguely replaced the image of his friend with a particular young blonde with a petite figure, back towards him as she had pebbles in hand. Her feet would melt beneath the water like she was turning into foam, becoming one with the sea, letting him know that even if he soared through the wind, he would never catch her in time.
Len shook his head and threw those thoughts out of his mind.
It felt like he had sand inside his mouth.
Imagining she was something as stupid as a princess mermaid. No, imagining she was there at the beach with him. He was spending too much time with her.
He's nearly driven mad. They were waiting for their other friend to come around with popsicle sticks from the nearest convenience store, but it's been about twenty minutes and there was still no sign of an older teenage boy running forwards with sweet cool snacks in hand.
"Fukase got a girlfriend."
"He ー he has a what?"
"Girlfriend. Ruby, or something.. though I think she's being used as a rebound. Don't tell him I told you, but.. he has feelings for Kagamine Rin."
No matter how many times he tries to run from that name it'll cross into his path over and over again. It took him a minute to realise in what context it was mentioned, however, and his eyes widened to rival the moon.
"Rin?"
"Yeah. My next-door neighbour, Rin. The one who always hangs around you ー she isn't your girlfriend, right..?"
"No!" He blurted out a little too loudly, and far too quickly. Piko raised a brow, and Len hastily recomposed himself. "No, that's gross. I mean, we only talk every now and then.. I'm tutoring her in History and I think we get along well. Except she's like a.. you know."
".. little sister to you?"
"Right. Right. A little sister."
Not at all. Unless the meaning of bonding with your siblings has changed somewhere along the current century, he's sure touching a girl in the way that he does won't make her anywhere near being his sister.
His friend looked off towards the sunset thoughtfully. "Yeah.. she was like that to me once, too."
The sun dipped beneath the waters like it was becoming one with the ocean. Even the brightest sun could fade away into the dark.