Title: Romance According to Murata

Genre: Romance/Humor…mostly humor

Pairings: Various. Wolfram/Yuuri, Yozak/Conrart, Gwendel/Günter. Hinted Murata/Gisela (read a story with them as a side pairing once, thought it was cute.)

Rating: T

Summary: Shin Makoku, influenced by some of its citizens visiting Yuuri's world, decided to make their own newspaper. Murata is asked to write a column in the paper, and the double black decides to do a romantic advice column. Now people all over Shin Makoku are coming to Murata for romantic advice! What's a reincarnated Great Sage to do?

This is for letters/responses to letters.

A/N 1: Yes, I'm ALIVE! Will wonders ever cease, right? Anyways, this is the last chapter and I want to thank everyone that has read, favorited, alerted, or reviewed this story. (Also to the readers of The Backhanded Slap I am working on it and if all goes right there will be an update next weekend.)

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Murata walked down the halls of the temple towards his self proclaimed office, which was in reality slightly bigger than a closet, whistling merrily to himself. The cause of the double black's pleasant mood was the fact that Gisela had asked if she could talk to him in private later on today. However, he first had to tackle those letters for the fickle hearts of Shin Makoku.

"Hmm…I wonder who this one is from." Murata grinned to himself as he pick up the envelope on the top pile on his desk as he sat down in little chair before he unceremoniously ripped open the letter and began to read.

Dear Geika,

How dare Sara, the bastard, call me a tramp in his last letter! I am a Von Bielefeld damn it; I DO have standards! Now thanks to the long laired freak everyone in the castle thinks that Yuuri and I are having sex! I mean, yes, the majority of the castle already knew that I was sharing my room with Yuuri but now everyone thinks, because of Sara, that Yuuri and I are having…inappropriate relations.

As soon as the paper was delivered Günter had a conniption and went on and on about Heika's chastity. Not to mention brother Gwendel still can't even look me in the eyes anymore. Mother, however, seems to be happy about what Sara was insinuating and said that I was finally waking progress and quite frankly her reaction frightens me a little.

Conrart is the only one not mentioning the article. He either didn't read the article or is pretending that he never read it. Then again Conrart has been acting peculiar lately and is walking around with a stupid smile on his face and I'm afraid his redheaded friend may be the cause.

To set the record straight, I don't sneak and sleep in Yuuri's room; I sleep in OUR room even if the wimp doesn't fully acknowledge that it is OUR room. Also, it's not like I'm forcing myself on him, unlike mind controlling, vindictive, Sara. Don't try and deny it Sara! You know you would!

I'll admit you advice that I should go on a date with Yuuri did help with my rage against the bespectacled bastard, Saralegui. True, getting Yuuri to actually go on a date with me was like pulling teeth. However, after I politely told him that it's normal for fiancés to go out and he eventually conceded.

It was a lot of fun and we were both in disguise so we didn't have to worry about wandering around town and making a scene. A carnival was conveniently town and we spent the afternoon there. There was a game at one of the stands that involved people throwing balls at some old bottles that are piled up on one another and if you knocked them all down you won a prize. Well it took Yuuri two tries to knock the bottles down and it only took me one attempt.

Anyways, I suppose the point I'm trying to make here is, TAKE THAT Sara! Yuuri and I do have a future! Has he ever willingly gone on a date with you when you weren't mentally controlling him? Of course you never went on a date with him and you never will!

Signed,

Wolfram Von Bielefeld

"Wow, so Wolf's relationship with Yuuri is making some progress." Murata smiled after he was done reading the letter. He then grinned in mock satisfaction as he leaned back in his chair and pondered aloud, "even if it was at the expense of both their reputations in the castle." The double black shook his while he grabbed a fresh sheet of paper and chuckled, "although, I would have loved to have seen both Günter's and Gwendel's reaction in person".

Wolfram,

Wow, no alias this time. Good for you! Also, congratulations on your date. If you keep making little baby steps like that I'm sure you'll bag your wimp in no time at all! Just remember to keep your temper in check around him. We wouldn't want a barbequed fiancé after all!

Signed,

Romance According to Murata.

P.S. Are you sure there's nothing going on between you and Yuuri? You have to admit, that thin little negligee is quite revealing.

"I just wish I could see Wolf's expression when he reads the last part of my response." Murata chuckled as he set his quill is the ink well. The reincarnated sage then placed his response on top of Wolfram's letter.

"I hope Wolfram doesn't mind that I didn't write him a long response." Murata muttered pausing as he reached for another letter. "After all," Murata shrugged as he grabbed the envelope on top of the pile, "it doesn't seem like he needs anymore advice because I believe he has his relationship with Yuuri on the right track now." With that final thought Murata ripped open the envelope.

Murata,

Why must you print Saralegui's letters? Because of what he wrote half the people in the castle thinks I'm taking advantage of Wolfram. While the other half thinks Wolf is forcing himself on me.

I'm telling you it was awful. I was signing some documents in my office, minding my own business, when Günter came bursting into the office. Günter was crying and apologizing about how he failed to protect my chastity from, "Wolfram's wiles as well as his lustful and wicked intentions."

Since I didn't read your article I was baffled by what Günter was saying. So I kept saying that Günter was mistaken and that I honestly had no clue what he was talking about. Günter didn't seem to pay any attention to me, however, and continued to go on and on about me and Wolfram.

Gwendel then bursted through the door, with an angry expression on his face, causing Günter to stop mid-rant and look over at Gwendel. In retrospect the whole situation was quite comical, especially with Gwendel's singed eyebrows due to Anissana's "I'll-make-you-tell-the-truth-or-I'll-zap-you-kun." Gwendel glared at me, face red with what I assumed was anger, before his eyes set on Günter. Gwendel's face turned an interesting shade of green his face then turned scarlet before he basically ran out the door with Günter following close behind him telling Gwendel to wait.

I'm pretty sure there's a story there concerning Gwendel and Günter strange behavior.

Anyways, moments after Gwendel and Günter left Wolfram stomped into my office ranting about Saralegui. This time I took your advice and said nothing. I didn't defend Sara or anything I just listened Wolf rant. Wolfram then announced that we were going to go on a date. I didn't even get a chance to complain or to argue with him because he grabbed me by my arm and literally dragged me out of my office.

I'll admit, at first when Wolf said when we going to go out on a date I thought it would be an awful experience. But, to my surprise, once Wolfram stopped yelling about Sara I had fun. We even went to this little street carnival and we played this game that was similar to the one back home where you knock old bottles down by throwing a ball. Also, since I know Wolf is going to tell you this without giving all the facts, The only reason why I had to throw the ball twice was because a little kid ran into me when I went to throw the ball and it messed up my aim!

Well, back to my point, please stop printing Sara's letters.

Yuuri

Murata sighed in satisfaction once he finished reading his friend's letter. It appeared as though he was right about Wolfram having everything under control. Also, was it just him or did it appear that Yuuri was slowly developing feeling for his fiancé?

"About damn time Shibuya." Murata half heartedly cursed at his friend's denseness about his and Wolfram's feelings. Murata then grabbed a fresh piece of paper and began to write his response to Yuuri's letter.

Yuuri,

Yeah, yeah, a little kid ran into you and that's why you had to try knocking over the bottles again. Let me guess, the sun was also in your eyes right? Is there some sort of secret competition going on between you and your fiancé that I don't know about?

Concerning Sara's letters you know I can't stop printing them. I promised I would help anyone who wrote in for advice and Sara in no exception. Sorry if it makes things more difficult for you but it definitely makes things more entertaining for the rest of us!

Signed,

Romance According to Murata.

"That solves that." Murata smiled as he placed the letter and the response into the letter. "It appears as though not many people need advice today. I guess things are working out for everyone." Murata grinned as he glanced over and saw that he had only two envelopes left on his desk. With that final thought Murata reached over and grabbed the second to last letter and ripped it open.

Geika,

If I didn't know any better I'd think you were a sadist. How could you print my letter when it was obvious that I threw it away and someone else FORGED my name! Do you have any idea how embarrassed I was when I was reading the paper and saw the note that I know I threw away printed in the paper!

Then I read what Sara wrote and I was outraged that someone would call by little brother a tramp. Only moments later did I realize that Wolfram probably read the article already and thought it was in the kingdom's best interest if I warned Yuuri so he could hide from my little brother until he cold off a little. Then the person I was hoping I wouldn't see, Günter, was already in the royal study overreacting to the letter. It was then that I realized that if he read Sara's letter then chances were he also read mine. With that thought in mind I quickly turned around and went to walk away, completely content to wait until after Günter was done talking with Yuuri.

Of course Günter couldn't allow that to happen. Günter chased me down the hall demanding that I stop. Naturally I didn't stop and continued to walk as fast as I could and pretend that I didn't hear him .It is seemed like a good plan and all I had to do was keep it up until I reached my office and locked my office doors.

However, it is easy to forget that Günter can be deadly serious when he wants to be and is an excellent soldier; he did train Conrart after all. Anyways, I was arm's length away from my office door before Günter tackled me! I mean he sailed though the air and knock me down, roughly, to the ground and I think he may have dislocated my shoulder.

There I was lying in the middle of the hall, where anyone could have walked by, lying on my back with Günter on top of me.

He then forced to me to talk to him about the letter. Fist I told him that I didn't send it in and someone forged my name. However, I believe he got the wrong idea and I saw hurt flash on his face momentarily before he got up and apologized. I felt awful and told that I did write the letter but I never intended to send it to you.

I've never seen such a quick turnaround in someone emotional state in all my life. Let's just leave it at that.

So I guess I'm writing to tell you thank you,

Gwendel Von Voltaire.

P.S. I better not see this letter is the paper.

"So, I was right. Günter was jealous and thought Gwendel had thing for someone other than himself." Murata said smugly after he was done reading the letter. He knew Günter wasn't that nosey about other people's business. "I suppose I could just write back to him privately instead of publishing his letter," Murata thoughtfully said to himself, "after all the poor guy has been embarrassed enough."

"Who has been embarrassed enough?" Gisela questioned from the doorway surprising Murata and almost causing to fall out of his seat.

"Ah, Gisela. I didn't expect you so soon." Murata chuckled as he rubbed the back of his head. "I was talking about Gwendel." He continued, gesturing towards the letter.

"Oh," Gisela replied as her eyes lit up. "Yes, he and father are something of an item now, which surprised me since I thought father had a thing for Heika." She chuckled good naturedly. "But I guess father had a thing for Gwendel ever since he had a cursed crown on his head and Gwendel was forced to kiss him."

"A cursed crown and a crown, huh?" Murata repeatedly slowly as he raised his eyebrow in confusion while Gisela shrugged.

"Are you still working?" Gisela asked as he nervously shifted her weight side to side. "Because if you are I can just come back when you're done."

"No, that's not necessary." Murata quickly replied as he hastily grabbed for the last envelope. "Plus I only have one more letter."

"Oh," Gisela breathed out as she walked more into Murata's makeshift office while the double black ripped the envelope open. "I suppose I can wait until you're done to talk to you."

"Oh dear Shinou." Murata said out loud while obviously not hearing what Gisela just said. "This is from Anissina."

"Lady Anissina!?" Gisela parroted in a far more baffled tone than Murata. "Is she asking for romantic advice?!"

"No, no, it's nothing like that." Murata hurried as he waved his hands in front of his face. "She wants me to stop writing a romantic advice column. She says I'm causing more trouble than helping and wants me to write something else."

"Oh," Gisela sighed in relief before she asked, "What are you going to write about now?"

"I don't know but I'll just mail my responses to the people that wrote in today instead of publishing then in the next issue," Murata shrugged before he directed his attention to Gisela. "So you wanted to talk to me about something important?"

"Yes , I do." She nodded as she leaned over Murata's desk. She then winked at the double black before continuing, "But first, I overheard Heika talking about the different articles on Earth and I think there's one that you would like to write."

Murata raised his eyebrow out of curiosity and smiled slyly, "And what kind of article would that be?"

The Voice of Shin Makoku Newspaper

Dear Geika,

"I'm afraid that the advice that you have been publishing has been causing more harm than good. Therefore, I ask that you cease and desist writing your romance column in favor of something else.

Signed,

Lady Anissina Von Karbelnikoff"

Ladies and gentlemen, due to the request by my editor that is posted at the top I am afraid I must resign in writing my "Romance According to Murata" advice column. I do hope that I have helped those who have wrote is as well as helped others who did not write in. Now, instead of writing my advice column I well now be writing:

Murata's Inside Scoop

A gossip article

From my inside sources there's a bad case of the love bug. The working staff, soldiers, nobles, Lords, and Ladies are courting one another and finally making a move on the ones that make their hearts skip a beat. There is some serious wining and dining going on!

According to several sources a certain royal couple has been caught kissing is the gardens by their adoptive daughter and several maids. Eye witnesses say that the royal pair panicked at being caught in the gardens and still blush crimson if anyone brings it up. The royal couple has also been spotted sneaking out of the castle to go on romantic rendezvous.

According to my eyes on the inside, Lady X, the will soon be a royal wedding. Before anyone gets there hopes up, no, it doesn't involve Heika Yuuri or the royal consort Wolfram. However it is one of the consorts' older brothers and I must say it about time these two got hitched and I do wonder why it took these two so long to see that they belong with one another. Also, according to my inside sources, there will soon be the pitter patter of tiny feet running up and down the of covenant castle. A certain couple at the castle will soon be expecting their first child.

Catch your attention? Must know the rest of the details? Need to know the progress Wolfram is making with his fiancé? Must know who is the couple at the castle that will be getting married soon? Are you dying to find out who is expecting a child? Find out tomorrow in the next installment in tomorrow's newspaper.

This had been the inside scoop with Murata Ken and Lady X.

"I think this went over well," Murata smiled deviously as he read his column in the paper. He then looked over at his partner in crime and smiled deviously, "don't you think so too 'Lady X'?"

"I have to fully agree," Gisela smiled as she leaned in closer to Murata so she could get a better look at their article while Murata's smile broadened.

Oh yes, life was good to the former sage.

END!

Authors note: Wo~hoo! It's done and Murata got the girl in the end! In case anyone curious about the baby thing I'm leaving that up to you, the reader, to interpret. That way if you're into m-preg then one of the guys are pregnant, if you're not into that then it can be one of the maids or even Lady Celi.

Well this has been fun to write and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I have!