Damn, I feel like something died in my mouth. Then came back to life, to give birth to more disgusting taste. Then died again to taste even worst than something that Brit can make.

"Your face is just adorable!" Germany squeals. "I take it that you really like your mixed drink."

I smile and resist the urge to spit the 'Squashed Frog 'out of my mouth. "Yeah, I didn't know that..." I frown and pause. "Uh... what the hell was in this thing?"

West laughs. "Melon liqueur and some sort of Irish ice cream."

It didn't taste like melon liqueur and Ireland style ice cream. It tasted more like sconces and avocados. I really hate sconces, and I never liked avocados.

Well, that's a bit of a lie. I might of liked avocados before. It's just that when that iron curtain thing was up, I was forced to live with Russia, and Belarus made this thing that used avocados, Skittles, and cough medicine-

"East, you're doing it again," Germany says cutting off my thoughts.

I set my repulsing, disgusting, awful drink back down on the table. "Doing what?"

"Zoning out," he answers. "Are you zoning out because the mixed drink I gave you is so wonderful?"

"Sure."

He laughs. "Well, I'm so glad you love it!" He stands up from the booth. "Want me to go get you another one?"

"That would be awesome," I lie making him go off to get me another gross mixed drink.

Now that West is gone its time for some ultimate awesome thinking time! Yeah, that sounded a little dorky. I'm glad that mind readers don't exist.

Anyway, first thought question, how long is this prank going to last? I know that this is all a prank. Everybody would love to bring the awesome Prussia to humiliation.

Its jealousy that makes the rest of the world act like an asshole. Not everybody in this world can be as-

Scratch that, nobody can be as awesome as me. It's a fact of life. And it should be a rudiment taught in elementary schools after those brats pledge that I'm the most awesome being on earth.

What am I thinking about? Teaching elementary school students about how awesome I am would result in lots of kids exploding their heads off. I'm just that freaking awesome, that learning about me would blow the mind of children, literally.

And now I'm getting really full of myself. Maybe I should just find some random chick, and have her occupy my time and mind, until I learn her name.

Yeah, once I learn the name of a chick its over. Knowing the name of a random person makes them less of a random person. And once they aren't a random person to me, they have somewhat of a relationship with me.

And a relationship can move quickly and get really serious fast. To avoid the seriousness of a relationship, I leave. I don't know. I just don't want anything to get serious. I never want to get married.

Shit, I'm wasting time I could be using to talk to some random chick. All my looking around is going to make all these random chicks think that I'm sort of emotionless loner. That's going to keep some of the honeys from talking to me.

Wait! That could work. I could pretend that I just came out of a really intense breakup. I bet that cat looking red headed chick, sitting by herself, would love cheering me up.

Yeah, this is a good idea. Making myself seem oblivious to this prank could make it end much faster. Germany is still at the counter, so I should talk to this chick before he comes back to give me another one of those avocado sleeping with scones drinks.

I leave the booth and walk over to the redhead. "I hate to tell you this, girly, but you look just like my ex," I say using my best sad voice and wearing my best sad face.

She frowns. "Lame pickup line."

Her accent sounds like it came from one of those rebel states in America. That means I'm talking to an American. That's good news-

"Sweetheart, are you just going to stare at my tits?" she asks making me realize that I was staring at her chest. "Or are you going to sit down, try another pickup line, buy me a drink, and try to get me drunk enough to go home with you?"

I smile and take a seat. "I'll spare you from hearing one of my other awesome pickup lines, and I don't take chicks I meet in bars home with me." I wave to a bartender.

"Good. Last time I went home with a guy, I got a ring, and a child. And lost it all almost two years later." She laughs as the bartender starts walking over.

Way to pick them, Prussia. Out of all the babes I could have picked to talk to, I pick the single mom. Well, at least she's American. That'll keep her from asking too many questions about me for the next two hours.

Yeah, my relationships with random chicks only last for two hours. Sometimes less. I like to stop things before anything becomes too serious.

"How may I help you?" the bartender guy asks. He turns to the redhead. "Hey, M."

This chick's name is M. No, wait, that's probably just a nickname. How does she know the bartender anyway? Ugh, that's not important! This is already far too much information for me to have on this chick.

"Hello, Bernt," she tells the bartender. "If you don't mind, I would like it if you were a background character for the rest of the night."

The bartender or Bernt laughs. "This pale skinny guy going to try to get lucky?"

"Pale skinny guy?" I raise an eyebrow.

M or the redhead ignores me. "Not, helping Bernt."

The bartender chuckles and takes out two bottles of booze. "All right, I'll be a background character to help this random guy have a chance with you." He hands me a bottle. "I would go after the blonde in the second booth if I were you," he adds to me.

Bernt hands M a bottle and of booze. She takes it. "You just don't want me to get free alcohol." Bernt leaves to take care of some other customers. M turns to me. "So, what's your story?"

I laugh and open my bottle. "I'm just some random guy that's looking for some random chick, to keep me from thinking for the next few hours or so."

"Glad that you have the smarts to not pick Hollywood." She points to the blonde in the second booth. "Anyway, why do you not want to think?"

I sigh. "My brother teamed up with some unawesome loser, and wants to play a prank on me."

Crap, why did I just tell her that?

"So, you need some random chick to keep you oblivious looking. That way this random prank ends faster, and you'll be able to expose it and go home?" she asks. "Did I get that right?"

How the hell is this chick American? Seriously, that was a smart answer!

"You hit the nail on the head, princess." I move my stool closer to her. "Want to make out?"

She pushes me away. "Maybe after a few shots." She takes a sip of her drink. "Right now, you're looking far too pale and skinny looking for my liking."

"Excuse me?" Far too pale and skinny for your liking? I'm a sexy beast, lady!

"Let me get you looking a little darker and fatter," she says then drinks more of her drink.

Damn, this chick is strange. I probably should have gone with the blonde in the second booth.

"Hey! East!" West calls before I can think of anything else. "Whose your lady friend?"

My lady friend... Crap, I mean M... No, I mean the random chick I'm talking too laughs. "Your brother?" she asks me.

"Yeah," I answer as Germany starts walking over.

"Hey, sweetheart," she says to West the moment he joins us. "Your brother is feeling really paranoid that you're going to..." She pauses. "Well, he didn't say what the prank is. The point is, you might want to call it quits."

Bitch. I just needed a chick to make out with to speed this prank up. I don't need some bitch trying to persuade my brother out of a prank.

Germany looks confused. "I'm confused."

"Nice acting," she spits. "But, you might want to give your bro a break. I think all these pranks you've been playing on your little bro-"

I cut her off. "Actually, I'm the older brother."

"He just doesn't come across as a mature older guy," West adds.

"Hey!"

She frowns then smiles. "Okay, well little brother stop pranking older brother," she says to Germany. "These pranks are turning him whiter than a ghost, and are keeping him from eating."

Typical mother person giving a freaking lecture. I'm really regretting picking her to talk to now.

"I don't prank my older brother."

You're pranking me right now! Or at least trying to. It isn't going to work. I'm aware of this prank, and I'm too awesome for it to actually work anyway.

"That's a lie!" I yell letting my thoughts make an outburst. "Cut the crap out now, West! You and whoever set this lame prank are making it way too obvious!"

M looks at me then turns to my brother. "You might-"

"Shut up! I don't need one of your mother-like lectures," I cut her off. "West is just trying to make me believe that my freaking wish on a stupid flower actually worked!"

A/N

Anybody know what M is short for?

Now its up to you to point out any grammar mistakes I might have made.

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