See? I told you I was updating again! Isn't this exciting? Not only that, this is like my all time favourite movie ever!! I watched it practically every day when I was five, sometimes twice a day, and it still makes me laugh. If you haven't seen it, you should totally go and hire it out! Right now! I'll wait... done that? Okay good, let's get on with it.

Chapter 6: Drop Dead Fred

The Next morning Steph awoke to a shout of, "Oh! My! God!" coming from the living room. She tried to ignore it as best she could by rolling over and burrowing deeper into the quilt, but a second, louder shout followed. "Bobby! Bomber! You guys have fot to see this!" When neither of the two answered or made a move to go and see what had him so excited he stomped into the bedroom where they both were, shoved Bobby from the bed (on top of the covers) to the floor and then proceeded to grab Steph around the waist and haul her caveman style, back to the living room, depositing her in the armchair. A moment later Bobby was sprawled on the couch by the same means and Lester was back to his pile of cushions.

After an entire minute of utter silence, during which Lester grinned wildly, Bobby asked the all important question. "What?" As if in reply he held up a small, wooden box. "Congratulations. You found a box. Can I go back to sleep now?" Lester took the lid off the box and Bobby sat up a little, his interest clearly kicking into gear. "More tapes?"

"Man, you'll never guess where I found them!" he exclaimed. "Wake up Steph again, she's gonna wanna see this, trust me." Once they were cetain she was awake (judged by the amount of grumbling) Lester went on. "I was snooping in Ranger's office when I found these. It's all security footage from this very apartment!"

"Ranger monitors his own apartment?" Bobby asked. Steph was digging through the Twinkie wrappers on the coffee table, trying to find one they had missed the night before.

"Well, no, I think he's got someone else to monitor them, but he keeps the tapes here." There was a short pause while Bobby and Lester both ran through a list of movies in their heads. Finally they both said in unison, "Drop Dead Fred."

Steph stared at them blankly. "Never seen it."

"Then just sit back and enjoy, sweetheart," Lester told her, flicking on the first tape. "There's a perfect scene not too far along in this one for some poultry fun," he informed Bobby as the screen revealed the very living room they were sitting in (albeit it was a lot neater). Tank was sitting on the couch, staring as Ranger pace in front of him. After a moment he spoke. "Married," Lester filled, "You got married. You mean you've been doing it like the pigeons?"

The guys laughed while STeph stared at the engagement ring on her left hand. "Don't worry, Bomber," Bobby assured her, "Tank won't be that incredulous when it happens. He loves you."

"Morelli might be," Lester added, pausing the tape at what the other two assumed to be a prime moment. Tank was gone, but Steph was just entering the scene. Ranger crossed the space between them in three steps and pulled her in for a kiss. Lester paused it again to giggle and tell Bobby, "We might get to see a bit of a show."

Ranger pulled back from the kiss to look her over and began talking. "Hello, Snotface. Yuck, what happened to you? You're all older. You're even uglier! Look, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to be sick all over you, immediately. Lie down." Ranger pushed Steph down onto the couch and covered her body with his.

They continued watching for a few minutes as Ranger made short work of screen-Steph's shirt and bra, covering every inch of the revealed skin with soft kisses. Screen-Steph was arcing her back into the caresses and after a moment Ranger was back to her mouth. Their movements became more of a bump and grind routine and here-and-now-Steph began to protest. Before she could get all the necessary words out, however, Tank entered the screen again. The couple on the screen barely slowed in what they were doing when Tank spoke, staring straight at them.

"That's not how the pigeons do it," Bobby filled for him. "You're supposed to stamp on her head and peck her."

The guys laughed again and Steph joined in with a bit of a giggle. Bobby rummaged through tapes in the box and pulled one out that said "kitchen." He swapped them over and began fast forwarding until he found a usable segment.

Steph and Ranger were sitting at the breakfast nook eating what one could assume was not breakfast, given the amount of vegetables, and looking over a file between them. Steph spoke and her words came from Bobby's mouth. "Well why don't we harpoon Charles straight through the head, drag him back to the apartment, and hit him with a hammer until he agrees to come back?

Ranger glanced at her and replied through Lester, "Harpoon him through the head? That won't work, Fred."

"Why not?" Bobby asked for Steph again. "It might. How many times have you tried it?"

Again, laughter filled the room as they continued to watch the silent scene. Eventually, Ranger forked a vegetable and stuck it his mouth. Steph looked at him horrified and began to speak. Before either of the guys could fill in, an all too familiar voice cut in, supplying the words they had been about to say. "You picked up a piece of broccoli, put it in your mouth and said, 'Oh what a lovely piece of broccoli.' I can't believe it, it's beyond disgusting!"

While here-and-now-Steph and Tank laughed at the dialogue and the schocked expressions on the faces of Bobby and Lester, Ranger swooped in and grabbed Steph into his arms. This elicited a squeal of both shock and delight from Steph, but it was lost to his mouth.

"Have a good time, Babe?" he asked a moment later.

"I suppose. I did see one scene that had me missing you more than ever though."

Ranger saw the twinkle in her eye and was immediately hard. "All three of you, out!" he barked, never glancing from Steph's gaze. "I'll deal with you later."

Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review and suggest any movies of comics or whatever that you want to see in future issues.