Cress all too often found herself wondering if she would ever speak to Thorne again. Originally, it had seemed that he wanted to at least pursue a friendship, and hoped for something to grow from it. Cress had decided she was probably okay with that. She wasn't completely certain about anything anymore. And the whole situation with Thorne was making the adjustment to life on Earth a lot harder than she wanted it to be.

But now, he ran every time he saw her. And perhaps she should let him. It'd only been five days since she first woke up, anyway. If he was going to come back, he needed time. Or so that's what Cinder told her. But Cinder had also lamented what Scarlet had told her–that she shouldn't focus on Thorne right now. Cress figured it couldn't be terrible advice if she'd heard it more than once. And Cress, well, she'd take what she could get at this point.

Still, she had to see him. She had to talk to him and see if she could get anything out of him.

And it seemed to be straight out of a net drama when she rounded a corner and was sent bouncing back at the sight of Cinder and Thorne talking.

She hid just at the edge of the corridor and listened in. They were in the middle of a heated argument. It was just like a netdrama.

"You're a coward," she spat at him. "If you'd just talk to the poor girl, something might come of it."

"A coward, Cinder? Really?"

A pause, a sigh. "I'm sorry," said Cinder. "That wasn't fair. It wasn't. I know it's hard for y-"

"No, you don't know. It is hard. Just last week, we were this close to freedom, to being able to be together and safe, and she doesn't even remember it! Any of it! The conversations, the promises, the plans. And you have no clue how I feel right now because you and Kai are the perfect couple!"

A short period of silence. "You think we're fine? You think everything is fine? I can't," she paused, took a sharp breath, "I can't sleep at night. All I see when I close my eyes are those dead, innocent people. Lunars, Earthens. Entire families wiped out because Levana was greedy, and their blood is on my hands."

"No," Thorne snarled. "It's on hers. And this thing with Cress–it, it…."

This silence lasted a bit longer, and Cinder broke it again. "Stars, Thorne. Don't… it's okay, okay? It's all right. Cress is alive. And if she loved you before, she can do it again. You just have to try."

Was he crying? Well, probably not. He didn't seem like the type. But maybe he came pretty close. Cress never understood why men weren't permitted to cry. It was such a normal human reaction to a normal human sadness.

And he was sad because of her. Because of her useless brain and its inability to remember at all what she felt for him.

Life, she decided, just wasn't fair.

"I don't know what to do, Cinder," came his voice finally. Sad. Broken.

Cress pressed her back against the wall and squeezed her eyes shut, feeling tears prick at them.

Cinder's voice was stronger this time, but not harsh, as it had been before. "I get it. She's the first girl you've loved."

"I've been in love before," he said, cutting her off.

Cinder gave a sharp laugh. A simple and too-loud 'ha!' "I know you, Thorne. I'm not an idiot."

Cress wished that she could see them, to see how they interacted. What kind of friendship they had, how strong of a bond it was.

"You know," he started, his voice low, "if this was Kai, and you were in my situation, you'd probably do the same thing. Run, because you can't face the fact that the one person you're in love with doesn't remember that they loved you back."

Cress hadn't realized she was crying until the hot tear fell from her jaw.

"I-I'm not in love with Kai," Cinder stammered.

It was Thorne's turn to laugh. It had actual mirth behind it, like Cinder had made a joke and he found it hilarious. "Now who's lying?"

"That's not the point," Cinder bit back. "The point is, I'm doing exactly what you would do if the situation is reversed. You'd tell me to stop being so worried, and you'd tell me that if he truly loved me before, then it's possible he could again. And that's what I'm trying to tell you, Thorne! You're being ridiculous. Do I agree with Scarlet, that you're too old for her? Yes! But I know you two would've found a balance and boundaries and everything would've been fine.

"This, all this is, is just another setback. We've had plenty of those in the last few months and they'll keep coming. So you have to fight for what you want."

Thorne gave a small laugh. "I'm almost thinking you shouldn't have abdicated the Lunar throne and became queen instead."

"Winter is doing a wonderful job," said Cinder, sounding disgruntled. "She's been making plans to transform Luna into a republic."

"I heard," he replied. There was a certain tone to his voice, a tell-tale sign that he was frustrated and ready to be finished with the conversation.

Cinder sighed again. "All right, I'm going to breakfast. You're welcome to do whatever. Are you still leaving today?"

"Aces, didn't you ask me that already?"

"Are you?"

"Yeah. Not until tonight, though."

Cress's stomach clenched. She still had time to face him, if she could bring herself to hunt him down later. But for now, tears were flooding her cheeks and she had to get out of there immediately.

She was fortunate enough to make it back to her room without anyone who actually cared seeing her. That, she decided, was more a relief than disappointing.

Next, she wondered if she really should go find him later. After his conversation with Cinder, he was probably not up for another one that would likely be even more emotionally draining. But she still needed answers and he was not Mistress Sybil. She would never again sacrifice her feelings for someone else's contentedness.

For now, though, she needed to pull herself together, and she needed a bath.

She knocked lightly on his door, not sure if he was in there, but expecting him to be.

When no answer came, she knocked on it again, a little harder.

"Just a second!" she heard him shout.

As soon as the door opened, the scent of soap filtered out from the bathroom that was attached to the room, a slight humidity seeping through. His hair was wet and spiked up and he was wearing a loose-fitting, white t-shirt and a pair of black jeans.

His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. "Hey."

"We need to talk," she said.

He wet his lips. "I'm leaving in an hour."

"Why are you avoiding me?"

He stepped to the side and with a flourish of his arm, invited her into the room. She stepped in and he shut the door, but they both just stupidly stood in front of it, looking anywhere but at each other.

"I'm not avoiding you."

She crossed her arms. "Yes you are."

He said nothing.

She shut her eyes for a long moment before finally looking at him, telling herself that she was back in a net drama, her debut role. Just reciting her lines. "I'm really sorry that I can't remember anything. It's so scary to be around all these people that know me when I don't know them."

"I know the feeling," he muttered.

"I'm just… trying to figure things out."

"It might be good to talk," he finally admitted. "We haven't had a chance to at all."

She chewed her lip for a moment. "I… I heard you and Cinder. Earlier. Your talk."

"Aces." He stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Yeah, about that…. Cinder has a knack for trying to tell me how to feel and act and think. I just said what I needed to to get her off of my back."

Cress shook her head. "No… no. Don't… don't lie to me."

He crossed his arms, mirroring her. "I'm not. All I'm good for is breaking hearts and all I know is being greedy. You know my whole reputation."

Partially, what he was saying didn't actually sound like a lie.

She dropped her arms, balling her fists at her side. "I don't know anything! That's the whole point!"

Her heart was palpitating, blood rushing to her head. She kept herself grounded in her fantasy the best she could.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry."

The quiet that followed was suffocating. Cress thought she might choke on it.

"Did I love you?" she finally asked, her eyes avoiding his.

"Yeah."

Cress bit her lip. "Oh."

Thorne visibly slumped, tears brimming his eyes. "It's hard for me, too, Cress. You have no idea…. I miss what we had. I can help you remember, I can! Just give me a chance. We had plans, you know? We can go away together. I'll help you. I'll help us."

Tears pricked her own eyes. She sucked in a breath. "I don't…. I can't. I'm sorry, I can't."

"We had so much," he said, his voice broken. "I just want to get it back. I want us back, Crescent."

She took a step back. "D-don't call me that. Mistress calls–called me that. I don't know, Thorne. I just… I can't do this."

As she turned and began to walk away, she heard his voice behind her, low and barely audible.

"Please."

She did not look back.

Author's Note: I'm sorry this is late & I'm sorry that this means that future updates will be pushed back. It's been quite a week and a half for me. Ummmm, I hope this isn't too underwhelming and has enough angst.

And please, if you like this (or any fic, really), leave a review! Getting them are such a breath of fresh air.