Twilight is owned by Stephenie Meyer but these versions of Edward Bella and the rest of the gang are mine as well as the plot. Please don't steal it. I think plagarizers are the lowest of the low and it's not flattering so don't do it. I'm also not interested in having the story translated at this time. Thanks for the interest! : )

Disclaimer: This story will eventually include subject matter that may be sensitive to some readers (No rape, cutting, or suicide). If you're overly concerned about it, I would suggest you not read. I love people to read my stories, but I don't want to totally blindside you with something, that's not fair and it's not why I included it in my story. I have very personal connections to elements in this story, which I'll be happy to share at the appropriate time.

Edward

"Hey asswipe it's your turn to drive!" I pulled over to the side of the road and put our rented van into park. Emmett and I agreed to split the drive in half and it was his turn. I spun around in my seat and threw the map at him. Every one of these assholes fell asleep less than an hour into the ride, leaving me completely alone. Jasper sat in the front seat beside me; Alice and Rose were in the individual seats curled up behind me. Emmett and Bella were in the very back, leaning up against their perspective windows.

"Fine," he huffed. He undid his seatbelt and crawled through the mess of people to the door. I got out and stretched for a minute while he walked around to the driver's side. I finally got back in the van and made my way to the back next to Bella.

"Edward," she mumbled, still half asleep.

"Yeah." I rested my elbow on the small ledge beside the window and closed my eyes.

"Are we almost there?" Her head turned my way and she smiled.

"Just a few more hours."

She nodded and went back to asleep. I quickly joined her, dozing off as Emmett continued down the road.

I heard the mumbling voices before I opened my eyes and I wondered how long I'd been asleep. I was hoping it was awhile so I wouldn't have to be in this car for much longer.

"So cute," Alice squealed.

"You're going to wake them up," Rose said softly.

I felt something warm nuzzle into my shoulder and I slowly opened my eyes. Alice and Rose were turned around looking at me with big, excited eyes. The something nuzzled my shoulder again and I realized it was a sleeping Bella. She had her head rested on my shoulder and her arm draped across my stomach. I guess we were so attuned to actually sleeping with each other that it just happened. I wasn't complaining but it sure meant that Alice was going to be up my ass about it even more now.

"We're almost there," Alice said, smiling. I could almost see the little gears turning in her head and I decided right then and there I couldn't give Bella her gift in front of everyone. I'd be like the weird kid on the playground that everyone points and laughs at.

"Good," I mumbled. I snuggled back into the seat, trying not to wake Bella. As soon as Alice and Rose turned forward I looked down at her. She looked really peaceful and it made me smile a little.

I glanced outside, relieved to see we had pulled off on a small, winding driveway. It led back through the snow-blanketed woods and to the large cabin settled in the distance.

"We're here!" Emmett announced a little too loudly. Bella shot up, her eyes lazily blinking as she looked around. She gasped when she realized she'd been laying on me and cleared her throat.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"It's okay." I smiled and started to crawl out.

Emmett, Jasper and I unloaded all of the luggage while the girls ran inside. It was fucking cold outside, I didn't blame them.

"Okay you can have any room you want except for the master bedroom. That's for Carlisle and Esme when they get here in a couple days!" Alice announced once we were all inside. I ended up in the moose room and let me tell you they weren't fucking around when they named it that. I had moose sheets, moose wallpaper, even moose soap in my bathroom. Alice and Jasper ended up in the room across from me and Rose and Emmett were beside us. Bella got lucky and ran to the third floor loft area. She had that whole thing to herself.

I unpacked the small bag of shit I brought and headed back out into the living room. The other doors were closed so I assumed they were doing their couple things that I didn't want to know a fucking thing about.

It was a little chilly in here so I thought I should start a fire. There was some firewood sitting beside the elaborate stone fireplace, along with some newspapers for kindling. I bent down and stuck some of each in before reaching into my back pocket and pulling out my lighter. I lit the newspaper in a few different places and watched to see if the wood would catch fire. It eventually did so I sat back and lit a cigarette from the newly burning embers. Esme hated when I smoked but she wasn't here yet so I guess she couldn't bitch at me.

"Nice fire," Bella said, stepping down the steps. She had changed into a nice ivory sweater and dark jeans from her sweatpants. She hugged her arms around herself and sat down on the couch.

"Thanks." I took a drag of my cigarette and blew the smoke towards the chimney.

"Cigarettes are bad for you," she said, nodding towards me.

"Oh Jesus not you too." I laughed and flicked my half burned cigarette into the fire. "There? Happy?"

"Very." She smiled.

"That's interesting coming from someone who's supposedly smoked pot."

"That's different. Cigarettes have all that bad shit in them. And it's not like I'm a pothead and do it all the time."

Now that's something I would love to see. I know Jasper brought some with him so I was hoping we could try it later.

"So what are you going to do here for four nights with nowhere to sneak off to?" I teased.

"I could ask you the same question." She narrowed her eyes at me before turning her attention to the fire.

Jasper and Alice stomped down the stairs, interrupting our conversation and asking us if we needed anything from the store. I jotted down a few things on their list before they headed into town to get us food and supplies for the long weekend.

Rose and Emmett came down to join us by the fire while we waited for them to get back. Rose and Bella fell into easy conversation while Emmett filled me in a little more on some new developments in their bike shop back in L.A. Apparently they'd just received a huge endorsement and thought it would bring them a lot of customers.

Two hours later Jasper and Alice pulled into the driveway and we all filed outside to help bring in all the groceries. In addition to the bags and bags of groceries there were also bags and bags of Christmas decorations. Alice got lights and garland and shiny shit and of course mistletoe. I remember when she was in high school she used to carry one around just so she had an excuse to kiss someone.

I took charge of cooking the burgers they'd got so I wouldn't be roped into decorating. I did have to stand outside to use the grill but it was worth it. I wasn't the jolliest motherfucker on the planet.

I watched them all through the window as they started stringing garland and lights all around. Bella almost looked as horrified by it all as I was. She turned towards me and rolled her eyes. I laughed a little under my breath and checked the burgers again.

When they were finished I piled them onto a plate, shut the grill off and walked inside. I guess between the five of them it didn't take long to Christmatize the Cullen cabin. I felt like I walked right into Santa's workshop from the North Pole.

Alice skipped into the room, carrying mistletoe. She held it over my head and kissed my cheek before skipping away to find her next victim.

I got out plates and condiments, along with some salad shit they got at the store.

"Smells good." Bella stepped into the kitchen and smiled. "Thanks for making it. You did leave me alone with the Christmas bunny but I'll forgive you as long as my burger is good."

"Please. My burgers are the best." I shrugged and started grabbing my plate.

We all ate dinner at the big dining room table. Rose and Emmett offered to clean up and do the dishes since I'd cooked and I happily agreed.

I walked out into the living room and found Bella sitting by the fire reading a book. I sat down on the couch and pulled my feet up.

"Can I help you?" She tried not to smile.

"Not really. Just watching." I strained to see what she was reading. I didn't recognize it but I guessed she got it from Esme's bookshelf in the corner. I didn't know what half of those books were.

"Am I really that entertaining?" She asked, not moving her eyes from the book.

"Very," I mumbled. Besides the fact that I did find her very entertaining she was also breathtakingly beautiful right now and I don't think I could pull myself away if I wanted to. The way the glow from the fire danced across her skin made her look so soft and so perfect I wanted to take a damn picture and keep it forever.

She ran her fingers through her hair and reached down to take a sip of her beer bottle that sat on the floor beside her. I watched as she brought it up to her mouth and poured the golden brew through her lips, wetting them slightly. I bit down on my lip and turned my eyes to the fire so she wouldn't know I was staring.

"Hey do you guys want to play a game?" Alice asked.

For some reason I looked towards Bella, almost like my decision hinged on hers. I was starting to become aware of just how much I oriented myself around her and I didn't really know what to think of it. It was something I did unconsciously and I guess I'd have to pay more attention.

Bella smiled at me and turned her eyes to Alice. "Sure. I'll play."

I nodded in agreement and jumped off the couch, following Alice and Bella into the kitchen. Everyone else was already seated around the table. I grabbed another round of beers for them and sat down.

"Okay the game is called Guess Who? Everyone gets a card, a marker and a piece of tape." Emmett started handing out all the items. "Without letting the person to your left see, write down the name of a person. They must be famous in some way and can be dead or alive. When you're done pass it to your left. When you receive a card tape it to your forehead without looking at it so the name of the person is out. Then you ask questions and try to figure out who you are."

I'd played this game a lot so I knew how it went. I leaned forward and tried to think of a good person to give to Bella. I smiled and scribbled down the name before handing it to her.

Rosalie handed me her card and I taped it to my forehead before taking a large swig of my beer.

"And just to make the game a little more interesting…" Jasper pulled out his bag of weed and rolled a joint. "Does anyone mind?" He looked around the table and everyone shook their heads.

"Okay I'll go first," I declared. "Am I alive?" They nodded. "Am I a chick?" They nodded and Emmett laughed. I loved sitting next to Rosalie. She always picked the same type of person and it really narrowed down my choices. "Do I have tattoos?" The joint had made its way to me so I took a long drag as they nodded their heads again. "Am I Kat Von D?" I smiled and turned towards Rosalie, blowing the smoke right in her face.

The group laughed and cheered, but Rosalie just scowled at me. I'm good.

"I'm sorry you're so predictable kitten. Maybe you should go for a little variety in life."

She rolled her eyes and flicked me off.

I turned towards Bella and narrowed my eyes at her. "Your turn." I was talking about the game, but I think a part of me was daring her to take the joint too. I was still curious as hell about her experience with that and to be honest I didn't believe her. And she surprised the fuck out of me when she smirked and took it from my fingers.

Bella

I took a long drag and tried to hold in my coughing. It'd been awhile and I guess I didn't have the most subtle reaction. I didn't have much of a choice. I knew exactly what he was doing when he turned to me. His eyes were daring me and with anyone else I would have just shrugged it off. I couldn't with him.

He looked shocked as hell when I actually went through with it, but once the initial surprise wore off his face fell into a lazy grin.

"Okay am I alive?" I asked, taking another drag and passing it to Alice. They all shook their heads except for Emmett.

"I don't know who that is." He shrugged. I guess that gave me a little more information, but it was Edward's name so I could never be sure of what his brain would spout out.

Rosalie sighed and leaned over, whispering something in his ear.

"Oh," he sighed. "Okay I'm good."

"Okay am I a guy?" I asked. They shook their heads again. "Am I a historical figure?" I assumed since I was dead it was more likely. They nodded. I took a few sips of my beer and started feeling the buzz of everything running through my body. "Was I royalty of some kind?" They nodded again. I narrowed my eyes at Edward and smiled. He smirked right back at me and took a drink. "Was I guillotined?"

"What does that mean?" Emmett asked. I didn't really think he was dumb per se; he just wasn't an…academic type of guy. I'm sure he could not only beat up all the intellectuals but also fix a motor before they could even figure out where the spark plug was.

Jasper ran his hand across his neck, almost like he was mimicking getting your head chopped off.

"Ouch."

"Am I Marie Antoinette?" I asked. They all cheered again and I took the card off my head. "Very clever," I said softly to Edward.

"Jeez Cullen you sure pulled that one out of your ass," Jasper said as the blunt made it second pass around. "Where the hell did you get that from?"

"Just a…random thought," Edward murmured. Random thought my ass. He knew I was doing my paper on her.

We continued around the table and had a few more beers before everyone started retiring to their rooms. I said a quick goodnight and started upstairs. I noticed there was mistletoe hanging above each of the bedroom doors and I laughed at Alice's Christmas spirit.

I stumbled up the second flight of stairs and finally made it up to my room. I quickly changed into my pajamas as I admired the painting over the bed. It was another one by "AM" and I really liked it. I tried to remind myself to look him up when we got back home but I figured I'd probably forget anyway. Maybe Edward could get me some paintings from him. I was never one to actually buy art but there was something raw about this that I liked. Maybe like the artist wasn't some stuck up art school prodigy. He was real.

I was just about to crawl into bed when I heard a knock at the door.

I skipped over to the door and pressed my ear against it, almost like I thought I'd be able to tell who it is that way. I guess I'd had a little more to drink than I originally planned to and it was affecting me.

"Who is it?" I half-whispered.

"It's Edward."

"What are you doing?"

"Christmas Caroling. Would you prefer "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" or "Silent Night?"

"Really?"

"No. Let me in."

I laughed and slowly opened the door. He stood already in his t-shirt and flannel pajama pants with a brown paper bag under his arm.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi." He ran his fingers through his hair and shifted his weight back and forth. "Sorry to bother you but….can I just come in for a minute?"

"Oh," I gasped. "Sure." I opened the door a little wider and stepped aside. He started inside and froze when he saw the painting.

"I didn't know they put that in here," he whispered, almost like he was just saying it to himself.

"Yeah. It's really beautiful. I love how it splatters down here." I leaned close to the painting and pointed. "It's almost like it's spray paint or something crazy like that."

"It is." Edward sat down in the chair and rested his head against his hand.

"Really?"

"Yeah. The artist started out doing graffiti around L.A. and just…transferred his style onto a different canvas I guess," he slurred.

"And he told you all this?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe I'll have you get me one from him sometime. I like it."

His eyes shifted to the paper bag under his arm. "Uh…I know this is a little weird since I haven't known you very long but I…I got you a Christmas gift." I smiled a little inside. "I just thought I'd give it to you now instead of on Christmas morning just because…I don't know." He laughed. "I'm sorry I'm really drunk and I didn't want to attempt to wrap it."

"It's okay." I reached out and took the brown bag from him. "Thank you." I reached inside the bag and realized instantly it was a book. As soon as I pulled it out my breath hitched in my throat. It was the book. The same one he ruined that day in the coffee shop. Except it was a much nicer edition and way more expensive. "Edward," I breathed. "This is….amazing. It's too much but it's beautiful. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I figured I should replace it since I fucked up your other one." He nodded. "Well I'll let you go to bed."

"Alone?" I asked. Did I just say that out loud? "Fuck," I whispered. "Sorry I didn't mean that I just…I'm used to…"

"I know," he laughed. "It's okay. Me too." He opened the door and started out.

"Oh wait! I have something for you too." I stumbled over to my bag and rummaged through for his gift.

"You didn't have to do that," he sighed.

"Well you didn't have to get me anything either," I teased. I finally found them and pulled them out. "Here. I didn't wrap them either."

He reached for the bag and smiled when he saw what was inside. "Decided to retire the hot pink?"

"Eh. I thought it was time for a change."

"Thanks. I appreciate it." He pulled on the hat and gloves. "How do I look?"

"You look good." I leaned against the wall and smiled. "Hey do you want to…hang out for a little bit? I mean you don't have to if you don't want to but I don't think I'm going to sleep yet."

"Sure." He stepped back inside and I did a little happy dance on the inside. I was finally starting to admit that I liked him. I had a crush on Alice's brother. It didn't mean anything would ever happen but I could still feel it. And I could still look at him. And hang out with him.

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

"Why don't you read me some of that book of yours?" He flopped down on the bed and rested his arms behind his head.

"I don't think you'll like it." I laid down beside him and grabbed the book.

"Try me." He smiled and turned towards me.

I sighed and opened to the first page. "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of good fortune must be in want of a good wife…"

I read for what seemed like hours and he seemed like he was generally interested. Or maybe he was just really good at pretending but I could have sworn he was hanging on every word I said.

I found myself stealing glances at him and smiling. His eyes were slightly glazed over, his lips parted. It was the type of expression I could melt into and float away in. It made you feel like you're the only one he's ever looked at that way, like it was stored away and pulled out just for you.

I set the book down and turned towards him. "Tell me a secret."

"Like what?" He murmured.

I scooted closer to him. "Tell me your secret Edward."

He smiled and I knew he wasn't going to give in. "I'll tell you a secret." He lowered his voice. "When I was ten Alice dressed me up in girl clothes and makeup."

"Why?" I laughed.

"Because she was like eight and super annoying."

"Yeah. Hard to imagine huh?" I smiled and looked down at his lips. I inched forward, listening to his breathing. I'd told myself to leave it alone, that he didn't deserve to deal with all my baggage, but every time I was near him I felt pulled to him. Like gravity. I found myself wanting to reach out and touch his lips, just to see if they were as soft as they looked. Despite his hard exterior I always thought Edward was soft, warm. That's probably what caused that embarrassing display in the car earlier. I didn't even know I'd done it until I woke up on his shoulder.

"I should really get to bed. I'm starting to fall asleep." He rubbed his eyes and rolled over. I glanced up at the clock and realized it was after two in the morning.

"Sorry I kept you up so late," I said softly.

"It's okay, I'm assuming both of us are night owls or do a very good job of pretending to be." He laughed.

I fought the urge to ask him to sleep in here and watched him get off the bed. I followed him to the door and opened it. I stood there awkwardly, half in and half out of the room, swinging the door between my hands. He stepped out into the hallway and turned around. A slight movement above us caught our eye and we both looked up at the mistletoe dangling over my door.

"Mistletoe," I mumbled. I diverted my eyes to the floor and cleared my throat. He wouldn't kiss me. There was no one here to make sure he'd follow through with the rule so he had no reason to.

"Goodnight Bella." I felt him step closer to me and I held my breath. My eyes fluttered shut as he leaned down and pressed his lips against my cheek.

"Goodnight," I whispered as he walked away.

I watched him make his way down the stairs before I closed my door.

I tried to read some more of my book, but it was useless. My head was spinning and it had absolutely nothing to do with the alcohol from earlier. It was him. He left me completely intoxicated.

I leaned over and grabbed the pillow he'd been laying on. I pulled it close and smiled when I smelled the faintest scent of him; Peppermint and beer. My fingers lightly brushed over the fabric and started dancing along the hem of the pillow.

I eventually drifted off to sleep, drowning in the essence of him. And when I dreamt it wasn't the usual nightmares or darkness, it was light. There was a beautiful pair of eyes staring back at me. And they were green.

A/N: Huge thank you to everyone who has favorited, alerted, recommened, reviewed and retweeted this story. It's so near and dear to my heart and it means a lot that you guys are connecting with the characters. That's honestly the most important thing to me as a writer, so I'm a happy girl.

Just a few announcements:

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