Warning: Angst, Hurt!Dean, Protective/Worried!Sammy, Protective/Worried!Bobby.

Disclaimer: Checked again, sure enough, the boys, Bobby, Castiel and Pamela still aren't mine…Kripke owns all my toys, the bastard…

Chapter 6:

The Truth Won't Be Denied...

As Pamela made her way down the hall, she tried to work out how exactly she was going to tell Sam and Bobby everything she knew about what had happened in the days Dean was missing and about what she had inadvertently done to damage Dean even further. Try as she might, though, the moment she rounded the corner and entered the kitchen, as she caught sight of the men who loved Dean most in the world, all her words flew right out of her mind. Sam and Bobby must have sensed her presence because they looked up, each gracing her with a tired smile. Sam's brow furled a moment later and whether it was his psychic power, his deeply ingrained brotherly attachment or Pamela's own fear and anguish that he responded to, the smile slid rapidly from his face, concern and utter terror marring his handsome features before her very eyes. He let the objects he held slip from his fingers, luckily enough they happened to be hovering over the table top, so they didn't fall far, still, the resounding thud reverberating through the small space made Pamela jump and pull back to the wall. Sam rushed toward her and she fell back even further, afraid that somehow, Sam knew exactly how close she had come to breaking his big brother completely.

"Pamela! What is it?!? What happened!?!?! Is Dean…is he alright?!?! Dammit!!!! Answer me!!!!" Sam nearly shouted. Pamela cringed back as far as she could, a tear slipping down her face as she faced off against the raging younger Winchester. Bobby stepped in, grasping a struggling Sam and forcibly turning the boy's face to toward him. The pupils of Sam's fearful eyes were blown wide and the golden brown that normally shone in them was nearly covered in black. The glistened wetly with unshed tears as Bobby finally got his attention focused on him.

"Sam, calm down son…breathe…that's it, come on, just breathe…" Bobby soothed. He felt Sam's body quivering from the adrenaline and fear rampaging though his system. For the longest moment in time, the boy refused to breathe. Bobby gave him a hearty slap on the back and Sam sucked a ragged, shuddering breath in at last. Sam stood panting for a moment as Bobby massaged soothing circles into his neck and shoulder.

"You good, son?" Bobby asked quietly. Sam nodded slowly. Bobby nodded and gave a tight, lingering squeeze on his shoulder before releasing his hold. Sam turned to face Pamela and managed to hold his cool for the moment as he spoke to the terrified psychic.

"What happened? Is he…" Sam swallowed hard, trying to control his breathing as he prepared to ask the unfathomable question haunting his mind…"did Dean…?" he couldn't voice the words. In his mind, even speaking them made them too close to being true and he couldn't…he wouldn't do it. Pamela knew what he was asking though and spared him from speaking the dreaded words.

"Dean's alive, Sam…but…um…there's something…uh…aw…shit…" Pamela broke off, mumbling under her breathe for a moment, running her fingers back through her hair before pulling in a deep, bracing breath and continuing. "Something happened while you were gone…and…Dean's even hurt worse now…and God, Sam, I'm so sorry…it's all my fault…what happened was all my fault…" Pamela said, tears rolling down her cheek. Sam's eyes went impossibly wider and he bolted toward the room Dean was in. Pamela got in front of him just before he could get to the door handle.

"Wait!!!" she hissed, keeping her voice low so she wouldn't disturb Dean. She saw Sam about to shout at her and her hands flew to him. She grasped tightly onto his bicep with one hand and clamped the other over his mouth tightly.

"Listen to me Sam!! I won't stop you from seeing you brother, but you have to let him rest. Castiel put him under to protect him. I don't know what kind of shape he'll be in…if he wakes up…but…he's hurt really bad and the Angel insisted he rest for as long as he could. You can't wake him, ok? Please? He needs to rest and get his strength back…" Pamela whispered urgently. Sam's eyes welled over and he stopped struggling against Pamela's grasp. "If…" she had said…"if" he wakes up…Oh God…please…let it be "When" he wakes up…Please?...please, he couldn't lose him…not again…never again…Sam closed his eyes for a moment and braced himself. He nodded and she knew he had understood her. She let her hands slip away and she stood back from the door. Sam looked at her and swallowed heavily as he gently twisted the knob and eased the door open.

Sam let out a tiny gasp as he took in the sight of his brother. Dean was curled in on himself, almost in a fetal position. Sam had never seen his big brother look so small and fragile. It was so completely out of character and it was truly unnerving to see. Dean was always his tough-as-nails big brother, his rock in the fucked up world they had grown up in. He had always masked himself under a façade of invulnerability, a carefully constructed, nearly impenetrable wall that Dean used to bury his pain and fear behind, though Sam could see right through it. For his part though, he'd always let his big brother have the dignity he felt the wall he had to keep up to keep the world out and keep his sanity, provided. Dean had taken on more pain and suffering in his lifetime, even before Hell, then most people could and somehow had always pushed himself back up to do it all over again. Time and again, Dean threw himself into the fray to protect his family, to save innocents, to face the darkest things that stalked their world. Sam knew better then anyone how much his brother gave up. He gave up his life, his dreams, everything that meant anything to him to give all of himself to his family and to the people they saved. He sacrificed himself long before he sold his soul to save his little brother. To see him now, so small, so broken…Sam had thought seeing his brother in the year before the deal came due, seeing him die horribly in front of his very eyes, the seeing him in the weeks after he'd been brought back as he struggled to find himself again…Sam had thought his heart couldn't fall any further, but he was wrong. Seeing Dean now was like all of that hitting him in a single, devastating blow. Sam crept toward the bed, silent and stealthily bringing himself to his brother's side. He desperately tried to swallow down the lump in his throat, not succeeding. He reached out tentatively, hand quaking in the space between his brother and him. As gently as he could manage, he lay his hand on his brother's sweat-soaked brow. As if to seal the terrible truth, which seared straight through Sam's soul, his brother actually leaned into the touch. Dean had never allowed himself to receive comfort…never let his guard down so completely to ever allow even something so simple and human as to be comforted by human touch. Sam's breath hitched and he choked back a sob.

Rising and pulling himself away from his brother, eliciting a low, whimpering moan from his brother as he felt the absence of the comfort once again, Sam turned and quickly but silently slipped from the room, making a beeline for the bathroom. Once inside, he slipped to the floor, his grief for his brother overwhelming and incapacitating him. He was right back to where he started a few days before when they had found his brother. Dean had been so torn and broken and so close to being gone again that Sam had damn near broken down. When the doctor's offered no hope for his survival and had offered to bring in a priest to offer last rights, Sam had snapped, trashing the doctor's office in a fit of helpless rage before collapsing in a broken heap. The doctor had grudgingly decided to forgo charges against a so obviously grief-stricken man. Sam had signed Dean out AMA, knowing his brother would never want to die in a hospital. He had taken him to Pamela's, as she was closer and the doc had said his big brother wasn't long for the world. Sam had taken up vigil, watching his brother slip away, as he prayed and begged and cried, forsaking all comfort, food, water…as he watched Dean die again. When Castiel had come, he felt the awe and sheer power radiating from the Angel. He collapsed with relief, feeling as if maybe,…just maybe his prayers had been answered. Castiel had directed him out of the room, brooking no argument. Sam had paced the hall, refusing to move too far from his brother. When Cas had finally emerged, he looked like Hell, no pun intended and waves of exhaustion seemed to pour off the Angel. Sam ran to his brother's side, sinking down beside him, seeing with wetly shinning eyes that his brother seemed to be on the road to recovery. He was still a mess of cuts and bruises and Sam knew that his resurrected, nearly unblemished flesh was once again scarred, bearing the marks of a lifetime of torment and pain that had temporarily been taken from his flesh. Sam had thanked the Angel profusely, praying and crying beside his brother's bed for days before Bobby had finally forced him away.

Now here he was again, his brother broken again, only this time in his mind apparently…Sam had no idea how or even if he could repair the wounds and damage. All of that hinged as well on if his big brother even could make his way back…What if he couldn't? His already torn psyche might too damaged to make the journey…What if his brother was truly gone? His body alive but his mind lost to oblivion…Sam shuddered with the horror of it. He shook himself…no…this was Dean…a Winchester through and through…if anyone was stubborn enough to do it, it was Dean. He was even more stubborn at times then their father had been…and their father and friggin' clawed his way back up from the depths of Hell and tackled the damned Yellow-eyed bastard long enough for Dean to kill him!! Dean was too damn tough to let this break him. Sam was adamant with himself that Dean would come back from this and he would be right there every step of the way to help him.

Sam worked hard, pulling himself back together. He had to know what had happened, not only for his own terrible needs, but also so he could help his brother. He stood, body aching from all the stress and pain from his position on the floor. He systematically went through a checklist in his mind, finding, categorizing and then filing away the pains until he was able to function again. He turned on the cold tap, gathering the splashing, bitingly frigid water in his palm and sloshing it over his face, the cold making him that much more awake. He swiped his hand over his face and let the majority of the water bead up and drip off of its own volition before removing the remainder with a small towel he found by the sink. That done, he breathed deep and went out to confront Pamela and seek the truth of his brother's plight.

A/N: So, yeah…I did warn about the angst… ;) Anyhoo, Read and Review, pretty please!?!?! I have another chapter almost ready to go, so fear not!! It's only a small cliffie wait to deal with this time.

Also, please check out my profile to view the links to my Supernatural line of jewelry!!!!! Thanks to everyone for their patience. I know I am terrible at times about updating my fics, but I am working to break my procrastination habit and feed the hunger of the people!!! Thank you and I love you all!!!!