A Black and White Wonderland

Summary: It's everything he's been waiting for, and it becomes his downfall. In which Ponyboy realizes college at seventeen isn't everything it's cracked up to be.

Amanda (Guest): So true! And aww thank you. For some reason I have been on a Steve/Pony binge. Oh well. Thank you so much for your review!

Candymouse22: We'll see what torture I decide to write... ;) I was worried about the jail talk, so I'm glad you liked it! Thank you so, so much for reviewing!

HappierThanMost: For a review like that, you are most definitely forgiven! I'm so glad you are enjoying. The conversation with Steve was my most insecure part, so I am extra thankful you liked it! Again, just thank you so very much.

One Wing In The Fire: Any type of cookie you want! Thank you so much for your review! I'm glad you enjoyed. :)

CHAPTER 6: Ealy Morning Runs and Hallucinations

~ Mid January, 1970 ~

Ponyboy cracked open a tired eyelid, seeing that only a minute had passed since he last opened his eyes. He let out a long breath; he had woken up at twelve thirty and had yet to fall back asleep.

He slipped out of his warm, cozy bed, quietly so he wouldn't wake up Darry, taking a pair of running shoes and a pack of cigarettes with him. The cold night air woke him up instantly; it was around twenty degrees outside and he could feel the cold air biting at his skin as he ran, but he didn't care. It provided an adequate distraction.

He took the running paths he used when he would run in the summer back in high school. He pushed out all of his other thoughts and focuses on the sound of his breathing and the sounds of his feet hitting the pavement.

After running for about an hour, give or take, Ponyboy slowed down to a walk to light a cigarette. His breath was coming out in clouds of fog due to the cold outside. He could feel his body shaking from the cold. Once he lit a put a cigarette, he began to walk down a shortcut towards his house. The sun was starting to peak out, which meant Darry would be up soon.

Ponyboy's first inhale of smoke sent him into a coughing fit, struggling for breath. His lungs ached, and he could feel his head pounding. Eventually, he got his breathing under control enough to continue smoking. After he finished the cigarette he ground it out, only a block from his house. Ponyboy walked into the house, announcing his arrival with a few painful coughs. Darry stood waiting, agitated.

"Where the heck have you been?" Darry yelled, not even bothering to let Ponyboy take his shoes off. Darry's yelling made Ponyboy's head pound.

"I went for a run. Why are you up already? I figured you would be asleep still when I got back. Sorry."

"You just figured? Sorry don't cut it, Ponyboy. You're seventeen years old, and I'm still responsible for you. And running out in the cold? Your fixing to catch your death; You just barely got over pneumonia. Honestly, Ponyboy, what goes on in that head of yours, I don't have a clue..." Darry trailed off in a fury, shaking his head with a disappointed glare.

"What's the difference? I'm not going back to school anyway! What's it matter anymore?"

That statement stopped Darry cold. "Your not what, Ponyboy?"

Ponyboy clenched his jaw, his body filled with anger. "They kicked me out, alright? I can't return this semester or next semester. It's that psychiatrist's fault; she said I'm mentally unstable, so they won't let me come back."

Darry sighed heavily, running a hand over his face tiredly. He didn't know what he was supposed to say. He wished his dad was here so he didn't have to deal with all of this.

Ponyboy felt his entire body shaking. He bent down to take his shoes off, seizing the opportunity that Darry was dumbfounded, but he action put him off balance, and he almost smacked his forehead on the tile floor.

"Are you okay, Ponyboy?" Darry asked suddenly, realizing Ponyboy's distress. He helped Ponyboy up slowly, supporting the younger boy with his hand. "You're burning up."

Ponyboy turned his head, coughing.

"Go lay down, Ponyboy, I'll be there in a minute to take your temperature," Darry instructed, instantly in "parent mode" at the sight of his youngest brother being sick, his worries pushed aside.

Ponyboy slowly made his way towards the bedroom, his hand on the wall for support in case a dizzy spell hit again. The comfort and warmth of the bed, mixed with Ponyboy's recent lack of sleep, put the sick boy to sleep instantly.

OoOoOoO

Ponyboy woke up hours later to find Soda sitting at the end of his bed, a thermometer and cool wet rag in his hands. "I guess you ain't feeling too good, huh, Ponyboy?" Soda drawled, his eyes caring. Ponyboy shrugged as Soda placed the wet rag in his forehead.

"I'll be alright. How high is my fever?"

"103.1. It's not getting any higher, though, which is good. Go back to sleep, Ponyboy. You need your rest; you look exhausted. I'll be here when you get up," Sodapop promised.

"Alright, I guess. I love you, Soda," Ponyboy said as Darry began to leave the room, making him stop cold. He felt like the air had been sucked out from his lungs at hearing his name.

"I- uh, I love you too, Ponyboy," Darry replied shakily after a minute, his voice hard. Ponyboy didn't seem to notice; he was way too out of it to care.

OoOoOoO

The image of his parent's dead bodies loomed in front of Ponyboy's eyes. His father's normally kind, happy expression was twisted in rage and anger, blood squirting from a deep cut above his forehead. Next to him stood Ponyboy's mother, her angelic face broken and furious. Her typically soft eyes were instead cheap and cold with hate.

"How dare you betray us, Ponyboy!" Darrel Sr. screamed at his youngest son. The auburn haired boy shook, tears welling up in his eyes.

He felt someone grab him from behind, and when he turned around he saw Soda. There was a gunshot wound to his chest, blood spilling out all over his shirt. His warm brown eyes held nothing but seething anger.

"Why didn't you save me, Ponyboy?" Soda yelled, an unfamiliar flash of anger crossing over his face. He punched Ponyboy in the face, pain erupting around his jaw area.

"I couldn't, Soda. I told you not to go! I tried so hard!" Ponyboy sobbed. A strangled noise came from the back of his throat as he cried.

Ponyboy suddenly found himself jolting up in my bed, a blood-curdling scream tearing it's way out from deep in his throat. Darry came running in as Ponyboy cried and shook, barely able to breathe.

"Hey, hey, Pony. Ponyboy! You're okay, you're safe," Darry assured him, running soothing circles in his back. Ponyboy took a deep breathe, but instead broke off in to a coughing fit.

"Just breathe, Ponyboy," Darry encouraged. Eventually, with the help of a few cool sips of water, Ponyboy managed to get his breathing under control.

Ponyboy felt like a thirteen year old kid again and it was humiliating. Biting back his pride, despite his flushed cheeks, he thanks Darry and told him that he was okay now.

"Are you still feeling hot?" Darry placed his hand on Ponyboy's head. It was still hot, at least over 100 degrees, but less than the 103 fever he was running earlier.

"I'm okay, Darry," Ponyboy responded, trying to look it.

"Alright, kiddo. Try to get some shut eye. I'll take your temperature again when you get up."

"Darry?" Ponyboy asked before Darry had a chance to close his little brother's bedroom door.

"Yeah?"

"Steve gets out of jail in a few days, right?"

"Yeah. We're gonna go pick him up in a few days. Why?" Darry peered curiously at the younger boy, but Ponyboy just laid his head back down on his pillow, his features relaxed.

"Nothing. Just curious, is all," was the only explanation Ponyboy gave.

—

"You seem to replace,

Your brain with your heart,

You take things so hard,

And then you fall apart,"

- Melanie Martinez, "Cry Baby"

A/N: If anyone has any requests they would like to see, please send them in.

Stay Gold,

- Alee XxX