Author's Note: I'm trying to make up for lost time with this update. Expect maybe another chapter or two after this about acclimation to the classes and dorms and what not, with some more introductions. All the introductions should be done pretty soon, then we can get into the plot. Oh by the way, Olivier's nickname for Defense Against the Dark Arts, "Battle Magic," is not of my creation. That honor goes to LessWrong who wrote Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality. It's just an awesome term from an awesome fic that I think fits her well so I used it.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and its associated characters are the property of JK Rowling and her estate. Full Metal Alchemist and its associated characters are property of Hiromu Arakawa and her estate. I own nothing but this pack of gum I'm chewing my through.
Chapter 6: The Sorting, finally
"Well, now let us begin, Alphonse."
Al took a sharp intake of breath as he heard the words. It felt like they were being spoken directly into his head, yet he could hear them spoken to him as if someone was standing right behind him. The voice that spoke knew all, saw all, and-
"Oh stop that line of thought, I'm just a hat with the ability to break the fourth wall, not some evil demon."
Al began to stammer. "Uh, so then-"
"And there's no need to talk out loud. You're the only one who can hear me right now, but everyone else can hear you. Just think and I'll hear it."
"Oh. Okay then.. So, then…what are you going to do now?"
"Do what? If you are referring to my opinion on where you belong due to my analysis of your memories, I've already done that."
"What? Then why am I here underneath you and-"
"Quiet boy. I wasn't finished. As I was saying, I have already made my opinion, but I haven't made my decision yet. You are a rather complex child Mr. Elric, much more so than your brother."
"What?"
"Oh yes, I remember every child who has passed before me. Of course, I cannot give specifics, but I remember my judgments and I have stood by every single one of them. And I can tell you right now, your brother was not at all interesting to Sort. I could see it from a mile away. He was plenty smart and kind with good ambition, but his insane courage to go forward, no matter what the cost could be immediately placed him in Gryffindor. A word of advice for you to give to your brother: Always think about the cost. I doubt he'll listen, even to you, but that was my contribution to him."
"Wait, what do I te-"
"But enough about him. He didn't even get to put me on his head. We are talking about you, Alphonse Elric, and your Sorting. So, what shall it be? You have courage, the same drive to do the right thing, rather like your brother, albeit more tempered with a sharp mind and a keen awareness of the people around you. In all honesty, I believe you could fit into any of the four houses."
"Oh. W-wait! F-F-Four? You don't mean-"
"Oh, but I do Mr. Elric. Like your brother, you also harbor great ambitions, but unlike your brother, you have someone you want to surpass, and are sure that you could, with the proper tutelage and friends. In Slytherin, you would be more than able to find the right sort of friends who could take you to places where your brother could never reach."
"But, but, but, I don't think about that…too much…I mean, uh well…It's…"
"Yes? It's what?"
"It's…It's that I know that sometimes, I really do wish I could be better than Bro, and have everyone look at me for once, and see me as something special like how they all look at Bro, and look down on me even when I do the same thing because it's "cute" that I'm imitating by older brother and….But I don't feel that strongly! Not enough to want to go into Slytherin!"
"No, you don't. However, I feel that there is a certain…factor…that tips your favor slightly in the direction of Slytherin."
"Oh wait, you aren't…no…May's just…."
"Ah ah ah, I never said 'May,' now did I? I just said that there was a 'factor.'"
"You…You bastard! That's-That's the cheapest and lamest trick in the book!"
"What book? I don't have eyes, I cannot read."
"AARRGG!"
Al sat under the hat fuming. Meanwhile, money was changing hands; there had been several bets amongst the students, and a couple of teachers as well, about how long the blonde boy would be stuck under the Hat for. The longest bet placed was for 15 minutes, while the shortest amount of time was 127 seconds. Right now, it looked like the smart ones who bet around the 12 minute mark would be raking in the Galleons.
"So your mind tricks aside,"
"Yes, you did walk into that one rather easily."
"No wait, be quiet. What is your decision going to be?"
"Do you want my honest opinion?"
"…Yeah, it can't hurt at this point can it."
"Very well then. NOT M-"
"WAIT! I CHANGED MY MIND DON'T TELL ME YOUR OPINION."
"Hehehehe, got you again boy."
"Why you…"
Al's hands were jumping around the edge of the stool, resisting the urge to throttle the hat. Shou Tucker just stood to the side and shook his head wearily. How he sympathized with the boy.
"So please, just cut your joking, and tell me: Where do I go?"
"Do you really want to know boy?"
"Yes!"
"Well, where do you want to go?"
"What."
"Well, yes. In some cases, choice isn't even a matter because of how obviously someone belongs in a certain house, your brother or May being good examples. Others, such as yourself, are more complicated to Sort, and so I take your choice into account as well as all other factors. So now tell me, because only you can decide, would you rather be with your brother and the brave of heart, your childhood friend and be among fellow intellectuals, or would you be with your with your new friend, who looks to rise amongst those who are destined to claw their way to the top?"
"I…I…I…don't know…I want to be with my brother…but I also…"
"Yes? Go on."
"I need to grow. That's why I was sent here and…well…I can't grow in Bro's shadow, can I?"
"No, I don't think you can. Is that your choice then? To grow separate from those you have been raised with, and to create your own destiny?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure? This will irrevocably affect how you will live, and your relationships. Are you ready for this change?"
"Yes. I love my Bro, but…"
"It's okay. I understand. I can read your mind right now, remember?"
"Oh, right."
"Very well then. Oh, and Mr. Elric?"
"Yes?"
"My choice would have been, ah well it doesn't matter now does it, you've already made your choice."
"Wait, what was it?"
"Haha, well let's see how your choice turned out over mine!" To the expectant hall, the Hat turned and then loudly proclaimed: "SLYTHERIN!"
Winry fell out of her seat, May jumped up, her eyes sparkling with delight, and Roy and Riza turned to each other and began to whisper. Professor Tucker took the Hat off his head. As the professor took off the Hat, Al turned back, and could swear he saw the Hat wink at him. As he stared, he felt him being hit from behind by May in a wild hug.
"YAYAYAYAYAY! Oh, Al this is so great! We can be in the same classes now and I can introduce you to all the right people and you can help me take over the family now, I mean you look smart enough, but I could supply the cunning and together we can easily take my fat head cousin on and Al? What's wrong?"
"Eh…ehehehehe…." Al's face turned bright red as he began to wobble a bit dangerously. "I…I think I need a seat first May."
"Oh right, of course! So I was pretty sure I could have done this on my own but as a team we could do anything and…"
As the girl continued to talk, Al's robes trimmed themselves in green and silver, with the serpent taking its place on his chest. Winry watched the two young Slytherins sit down together, and she shook her head. Slytherin…What was Ed going to do?
The answer to Winry's question arrived 30 minutes later, with a loud "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUuuuuu-urk!" Everyone in the hall turned towards the sound, then quickly turned away as Olivier Mira Armstrong dragged the poor unfortunate blonde away. As Winry quietly ate her stew, the only thing that echoed in her mind and everyone else's mind as well was "Sucks to be him."
Author's Notes: Yeah, mindless talking and poor jokes! Sorry if my house choice is controversial or flameworthy, it's just one of those ideas that I've had ever since I first conceived the fic. I regret nothing! So yeah, read and review please?