Alright everyone! Here's the next chapter. I struggled with it a bit, but I hope you guys enjoy it! Next chapter will be Christmastime at Hogwarts -- complete with Harri receiving the Invisibility Cloak! It'll be interesting to see what sort of trouble she can get into once she has that! Thanks for all of the reviews. Be sure to vote in the poll if you haven't already! Have a great week!
Adventures in Witchcraft and Wizardry
or
There and Back Again: A Witch's Tale
By Koinaka
Chapter Six
Of Toilet Seats and Impending Doom
As November went on, things around Hogwarts became exceedingly boring. The Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws had commandeered the Pitch for Quidditch practice almost daily in preparation for their upcoming match at the end of the month. This left the Gryffindors with very little time to practice. As a consequence, Harri was left with far too much free time on her hands.
Aunt Petunia had once said that idle hands were the devil's playthings –Harri's hands especially as she took great delight into getting into all sorts of mischief. It was for that very reason that Aunt Petunia went to some lengths to ensure that Harri was always occupied during school holidays. Sleep away camps, play dates, music lessons, dance lessons, and whatever else she could think of to ensure Harri had as little time as possible in which to make trouble with.
But now… Now Harri was in a magical castle just filled to the brim with all sorts of mischief making devices. And two, three if you counted Lee, friends who were perfectly willing to help her in mischief making however they could.
The only problem was that the twins were currently serving detention with Mr. Filch which left her all on her lonesome. Not only was she all on her lonesome, but the weather had turned dreadfully cold, so cold that she couldn't even bring herself to go and take tea with Hagrid even though she generally went every Saturday morning. Instead, she found herself sitting in the common room with Neville, Ron, and Hermione staring longingly out of the window holding an unread book, The Hobbit, in her hand as she listened to Hermione lecture Ron on the importance of completing his homework.
She let out a long-suffering sigh. "Is it almost time for lunch?" she asked Neville hopefully.
He shook his head. "It's only half-past ten."
"I think I'll just nip out for a bit of a walk. I'm going mad sitting around here doing nothing. See you, Nev."
Neville bid her farewell as Ron cast an envious look in her direction.
"—Ronald! Are you listening to me?" snapped Hermione. "I'm not going to do it for you, and if you aren't going to pay attention, then I will go back to doing my own –"
For the next hour, Harri wandered through the twisting corridors of the castle. She could explore the castle for hours upon hours every day and never discover all of its secrets. She liked to walk through the corridors of the castle – the very same corridors that her parents once walked through.
She was passing by a girls' bathroom that she'd never seen before when she heard a curious noise. It was a pitiful wail. She continued walking, but when she heard the wail again, she couldn't help but investigate.
It was a very odd sort of bathroom. The stall doors were wooden and falling apart. Like everywhere else in Hogwarts, the room was lit with candles, but unlike everywhere else there were no chandeliers only several ancient looking holders.
There were scarcely enough candles to light the room properly, but Harri could see a fair bit. Enough to know that there didn't seem to be anyone actually in the room, at least that she could see at any rate. She walked along the stalls, opening each one and checking inside.
Each stall was empty – each one except for the last. When Harri opened the last stall, she found herself face-to-face with a girl wearing an old-fashioned Hogwarts' uniform.
A translucent girl.
A ghost.
She blinked several times in surprise. She'd been at the castle for months now, but she wasn't sure she would ever get used to seeing ghosts. "What're you doing here?" she asked the ghost curiously.
"What am I doing here?" the ghost screeched loudly. She took a nose dive into the toilet behind her, splashing water everywhere, and soaking Harri thoroughly.
Surprised, Harri stumbled backward just in time to duck out of the enraged ghost's path.
"This is my toilet!" the ghost shrieked.
"This can't be your toilet. You're dead, aren't you?" she said reasonably. "I've just as much right as you do to be here. More, really, because I'm actually alive."
The ghost's chin began to tremble. Harri nearly felt sorry for her when she dissolved into great hiccuping sobs. Until, that is, the girl began to hurl things at her.
Harri ducked to the side, narrowly missing the piece of wood that went sailing past her. She managed to retreat from the bathroom just in time to see water flowing freely from every single one of the toilets. She fell back against the wall across from the toilet panting. She narrowed her eyes at the door she'd just come through. What a horrid little ghost!
The twins had once talked about blowing up one of the toilets and sending the seat to their little sister, Ginny. They'd given up because they thought it might be too noticeable if it were a boys' toilet that was blown up, but a haunted toilet on the other hand.
A haunted girls' toilet…
It was the perfect place in which to do their nefarious deed.
"You're beginning to look a bit frayed around the edges," George commented taking in Harri's still wet and harried form. She hadn't bothered to stop by the dormitory and change, instead heading straight to the Great Hall from the haunted toilet.
Harri shrugged. "I got into a bit of a spat… with a ghost."
Fred looked up from his plate at that. "Peeves, was it? Nasty little bugger, isn't he?"
She leaned closer and dropped her voice. "Not Peeves. It was a girl – she haunts a toilet on the second floor."
"Moaning Myrtle," Fred told her. "That's her name."
George sighed. "Ah, Moaning Myrtle… brings back fond memories, that name does."
"Yes, fond memories," agreed Fred heartily. "From back when we were young and innocent."
"Ickly firsties, we were. So young and so impressionable…"
Harri snorted. "You two – innocent? I doubt that." She turned to Lee. "When have they ever been innocent?"
Lee chortled. "Never, to hear their mum tell it. They give her a real run for her money, you know."
Fred was about to launch into his defense when Harri cut him off. "So – about Moaning Myrtle's toilet. It seems abandoned, wouldn't you say?"
"Well," hummed George. "No one ever goes in there anymore, so I reckon, yeah, it's been abandoned."
"What about it?" Fred asked, eyeing her with a great deal of interest.
"It seems a shame, doesn't it, for a ghost – who doesn't even need to use one toilet let alone five – to keep all of them to herself. I rather think she could part with one of them, don't you?"
Lee's brow furrowed. "And what would we do with a toilet seat?"
"Oh, my young, innocent friend," Fred began, "there are a great many things we could do with a toilet seat."
Lee considered this for a moment before shrugging. "Alright, then," he replied easily. "So, a toilet seat. How do we go about getting it?"
"Fillibuster's," the twins said in chorus.
"What's that?" asked Harri, curiously.
"You'll see," George said.
Fred just grinned.
After lunch, they dragged Harri up to their dormitory and pulled out a package from Fred's trunk.
It turned out that Fillibuster's were magical fireworks that used water instead of heat to start them. Harri rather thought they were marvelous.
"So," explained Fred, "all you have to do is drop it in and back away!"
Harri gave him a skeptical look. "Are you sure?"
"Would we lie to you?"
"Well," she answered slowly, "maybe not lie, but you might try to trick me."
Fred heaved a long suffering sigh. "Alright, brother of mine, I think it is time to reveal to our dear Miss Potter the secret of our success."
"I do believe you are right," said George with a positively wicked smile.
"Now, then," Fred turned to Harri, pulling a piece of parchment out from his robe pocket. "When we were but little children, so new to the business of trouble making, we made a most fortuitous discovery." He ignored Harri's snort and tapped the parchment with his wand, saying "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."
Before her very eyes, ink appeared on the once empty parchment. It took a moment but when all was said and done, she found herself holding a very detailed map of Hogwarts, so detailed, in fact, that Harri was surprised to see that it showed each and every person inside the castle!
She looked up from the parchment with wide eyes. "Is this real?"
George grinned. "As real as anything else is, I reckon."
Harri studied the map for a minute. "So, that's really Professor Snape heading to the library?" She pointed to a black dot labeled S. Snape.
The twins nodded.
"It's brilliant," she breathed, touching the paper reverently.
"It is," agreed Fred. "Best thing I've ever filched from Filch's office."
"Here is Myrtle's toilet," George told her, pointing to a faded dot that read simply Myrtle. "She spends a good deal of time there, but she can go other places, too."
At that, Fred flushed a bright red. Harri observed this with a great deal of curiosity. Why had he blushed?
"—So all we have to do is lure her away from the toilet and then Harri'll be free to go and get our toilet seat!"
"How will you do that?" Harri asked.
George chortled and nudged Fred in the side with his elbow. "Myrtle is a bit of a peeper, you see, and she fancies Fred. She got herself an eyeful at the end of last term. But don't you worry about that. You just make sure that you get our toilet seat without getting caught."
Harri nodded. "When should we do it?"
"On Saturday during the Quidditch match. Everyone else'll be out watching the match, so if we're careful, we'll be able to get it and go down to the match without anyone even noticing that we've gone!" Fred said. The tips of his ears were still bright red though the rest of his face had gone back to normal.
Harri chewed on her lower lip. This entire thing had been her idea, but she didn't really want to miss any of the Ravenclaw versus Hufflepuff match. But Fred was right. Saturday would really be the best time to do it.
"Saturday, then," she said.
They spent the rest of the day going over and over their strategy. By the time the next weekend came around, Harri was a bundle of energy.
"You're awfully cheerful today," Neville commented at breakfast on Friday.
"Of course I am! It's Friday," she crowed. "We only have the one class, and then we're free for the rest of the weekend!"
Across from Neville, Ron scowled. "Well, yeah, but it's Potions," he said as if that explained everything.
Harri just shrugged.
Their Potions class was actually almost tolerable. After the Quidditch match, Professor Snape had returned to acting as if she didn't exist. This didn't bother her in the slightest as it was much easier for her – and Neville – to complete their assignments without him looming over them.
After lunch, Neville, Ron, and Hermione headed to the library. Neville asked her to go with them, but she'd already made plans to go see Hagrid, so instead she went up to her dormitory to change clothes before heading down to his hut.
"'ello Harri," the half-giant said, beaming at her. "Alone today, are yeh?"
She nodded, accepting the tea and rock cake Hagrid offered her. "The twins have detention this afternoon."
Hagrid shook his head and laughed heartily. "Ne'er a dull mo' when those two are 'round. Keep meh on mah toes, they do. Much like your da' and his friends used to."
Harri froze. "You knew my dad?"
She didn't think that Aunt Petunia much cared for her dad because she never mentioned him. The only thing she knew about her father was his name, James, and the fact that he was once a Chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch team.
"'Course I did!"
"Will you tell me about him?" she asked.
Hagrid paused, his large hand hovering over the tea kettle. "He was a brave man, your da'. A real grea' man."
Harri suppressed a sigh. That wasn't the sort of things she had in mind, and she told Hagrid so. She wanted to know what he looked like, when his birthday was – those sorts of things.
"Blimey, Harri, don't yeh know?'
She shook her head. "I don't think my aunt thought much of him. She never told me anything about him. I've never even seen a picture of him."
Hagrid's wide eyes glistened with tears. "Your da' was a real trouble maker. Spent more time in detention than out o' it…"
Hagrid then proceeded to spend the afternoon telling her all of the trouble her dad used to get into when he was in school. He became rather tight-lipped when Harri asked about her dad's friends, but she considered the afternoon a great success.
Harri's excitement the next morning was not just about the blowing up the toilet – though she was quite excited about that – it was just also watching the Quidditch match. She'd never seen a match before. Playing in one and listening to them were completely different things.
The twins had disappeared directly after breakfast, leaving Harri to deal with several very curious friends – namely Ron, Hermione, and Neville.
"You three are up to something," Hermione surmised, narrowing her eyes at Harri.
"We aren't up to anything," she protested at once. "And even if we were, it's none of your business!"
"It is if it'll cause you to loose Gryffindor points!" retorted the bushy-haired girl.
"Well, we aren't up to anything. I've got to go meet the twins. See you at the match, Nev." She left before Hermione could protest further.
Dunking into the first empty class room she came to, she pulled out the map. It took her a couple of minutes, but finally she found the twins' dots. They were inside a room on the fifth floor. Not just any room, however, but the prefects' bathroom. Once she'd located the twins, she looked for Myrtle. Unfortunately, Myrtle hadn't moved from her bathroom. Harri sighed and sat on a nearby bench. Who knew how long it would be before Myrtle moved?
It turned out not long at all. Within ten minutes of arriving in the abandoned classroom, the dot labeled Myrtle was heading up to the fifth floor. She'd taken the bait!
Harri shoved the map back into her pocket and hurried off to the second floor. Just as the twins' predicted, the corridors were nearly completely empty. She managed to make it to the bathroom without seeing another soul. Once safely inside, she took out the map again.
Most of the professors were outside on the pitch, with the exception of Professor McGonagall who was near Gryffindor Tower and Professor Quirrell who was near the forbidden third floor corridor. That was certainly odd. Harri wondered why he, of all people, would go near the three-headed dog! He was frightened of nearly everything! Especially of the dark creatures they talked about in their Defense Against the Dark Arts classes. He'd not likely seek out one, voluntarily -- would he? Well, she certainly couldn't think about that now. She had a job to do! She would have to think on this later.
She took a deep breath. This would be easy! All she had to do was throw the firework into the toilet and back up, so she didn't get herself blown up along with the toilet.
Harri pulled the fireworks out of her satchel. She'd been carrying them around all week long, and she could hardly wait to use them. Checking the map once more told her that not only was the cost clear of any professors, but Myrtle was now in the prefects' bathroom with the twins. Not wanting to miss anymore of the match than absolutely necessary, she chose a stall and entered it, leaving the door open behind her. She unwrapped the fireworks and dropped them in the toilet.
The twins had told her – several times, in fact – that she would have about twenty seconds to get away from the toilet. Twenty seconds turned out to be a generous estimation. She'd only just closed the bathroom door when she heard a loud, rumbling explosion within. She waited for about half-a-minute, but no one came.
Harri hurried into the bathroom to collect her spoil. The bathroom had been in poor condition before, but now… well, now the stall door was missing off the toilet she'd blown up and a steady spray of water was coming from where the toilet had once been. It took her a minute to sift through the damage, but finally she found the toilet seat.
"Yes!" she exclaimed happily, tucking the toilet seat away in her satchel.
She checked the map once more before leaving. The twins were still with Myrtle in the prefects' bathroom. Professor McGonagall was still in Gryffindor Tower. Professor Quirrell, however, had moved from the third-floor corridor to his office.
Harri's elation increased exponentially each step she took away from Myrtle's bathroom. By the time she reached the Quidditch pitch, she was nearly giddy. She slid easily next to Neville and Ron.
"What'd I miss?" she asked.
"Nothing, really," Ron said, never taking his eyes off the pitch.
Neville stared at her knowingly. "You were up to something, weren't you?"
She shook her head, but she couldn't help the smile on her face. She turned her attention to the match. Her plan was to watch the seekers for pointers. She caught sight of the Ravenclaw seeker first. He was loping around the pitch lazily.
She was searching for the Hufflepuff seeker when Fred and George sat on either side of her.
George leaned over to her. "You get it?" he asked in a low voice.
She patted her satchel and grinned. "Yep – got it!"
"Anyone see you?" Fred asked.
"Don't think so," she said. "Not that I noticed, anyway. Help me find the Hufflepuff seeker – what's his name again?"
"Diggory," George told her. "Cedric Diggory. Angelina fancies him, you know."
"Really?" she asked. "Well, which one is he?"
"The one after the snitch, obviously," Fred said, chortling.
Harri scowled. "I know that. Never mind, I see him."
And she did. Unlike the Ravenclaw seeker, whose name she didn't know, he seemed to actually be looking for the snitch instead of just flying aimlessly. Not that Harri could actually see anything as they were much too far away for her to be able to see the tiny snitch.
She watched as the seeker dodged a bludger and continued with his search for the snitch. The next bludger that was sent his way -- the Ravenclaws were a savage lot, weren't they? -- was sent flying by one of the Hufflepuff beaters. From then one, the beaters remained by Diggory's side.
"They are quite good, aren't they?" she asked Fred.
"The Ravenclaws? Nah, they're too forceful. Trying to compensate, I think, for their mediocre seeker. Their keeper's good enough, I suppose, but nothing compared to Oliver. It'll be easy for us to throttle them good when our turn to play them comes around," he replied.
Harri shook her head. "Not the Ravenclaws! The Hufflepuffs. Their beaters are quite good, wouldn't you say?"
Fred scowled. "Who cares about them?"
Beside her, George exclaimed loudly, "Look, I think Diggory's seen the snitch!"
Sure enough, Diggory was flying intently towards the Ravenclaws' goal. The Ravenclaw seeker, who had been halfway across the pitch, noticed and turned abruptly before heading to where Diggory was. They both came to a stop, however, a few feet apart, both looking to and fro for the lost snitch. Suddenly, however, Diggory darted to the side, nearly colliding with the Ravenclaw Keeper. His hand shot out and grabbed at something. Something that had a distinctly golden hue. The snitch. The crowd below went wild.
"DIGGORY CATCHES THE SNITCH, 150 POINTS TO HUFFLEPUFF! HUFFLEPUFF WINS THE GAME!" Lee had to yell to be heard over the applauding crowd.
"That was brilliant!" Harri cried. "D'you think we might be able to meet the other teams?"
Fred scowled again. "What do you want to do that for?"
She shrugged. "That would be the proper thing to do, wouldn't it? Showing support to a fellow team, I mean?"
George shook his head. "No way, Oliver'd skin us alive if he saw his consorting with the enemies. Now, c'mon, Harri. Let's go take a look at that toilet seat you've got hidden away, yeah?"
Harri grinned at the mention of the toilet seat. "Alright. I'll bet your sister will be stunned into silence when she opens it! She didn't think you would really do it, did she? Mind, you might not have if I hadn't suggested it. I think I'll write her a letter, just so she knows it was my idea and all. She won't mind, will she? We've never even met, I know, but I think it would be great fun to have a pen friend! Do you think she'll think I'm a bit odd for writing a complete stranger?" she said all at once. She was quite breathless when she finished.
Fred considered this. "Maybe, but then you are a bit odd," he allowed. "But I'll bet she'll be glad all the same. All she talked about over the summer was how Harrietta Potter -- The Girl-Who-Lived -- was going to Hogwarts. She's obsessed, I tell you."
Harri frowned. She didn't like to think of her title in the wizarding world at all. It wasn't fun in the least -- especially as it only served to remind her that she'd lived and her parents hadn't. It was really quite gruesome -- and not in a good way!
George patted her shoulder reassuringly. "Don't listen to him. Ginny's a bit of a nutter, but she's not too bad. It's just that she's grown up listening to tales of your heroic deeds as her bedtime stories!"
She cut him off. "Heroic deeds?" she said, a grin appearing on her face.
Fred grinned as well. "Oh yes, heroic deeds indeed. She was particularly fond of the one where you single handedly dueled the Dark Witch Morgana to a most dreadful end."
George nodded. "That was a good one, but my favorite was the one where the heroic Miss Potter soothed the savage dragon with only her singing voice!"
Fred began to simper. "How wondrous it was that the dainty Miss Potter was able to sooth a savage beast without even mussing her hair --- ouch!" He yelled as Harri's stinging hex caught him in the arm. He narrowed his eyes at her, but stopped short at her dark glower.
When they were safely enclosed within in the twins' dormitory, Harri pulled the only slightly singed toilet seat out of her satchel.
"It's beautiful!" George exclaimed, wiping fake tears from the corner of his eyes.
"Never have I seen a more beautiful toilet seat in all my life!" Fred continued.
"It is rather lovely, isn't it?" Harri agreed as she pulled out her parchment, quill, and ink. She set about writing Ginny as the twins praised her for her cleverness.
The next morning, the incident with Myrtle's toilet was the talk of the school. Harri exchanged secret smiles with the twins over breakfast. The three of them had gone to the Owlry first thing that morning and mailed off their letter and package.
"You three are the ones who blew up that bathroom, aren't you?" Neville asked as they left the Great Hall to return to the common room.
Harri grinned. "I'm afraid I haven't the slightest idea in the world what you are talking about," she said airily. "I was with you at the match yesterday morning, wasn't I?"
Neville looked quite uncertain. "But you were late! What if you're caught? You'll be expelled."
Her face softened as she saw how concerned her friend truly was for her. "Don't worry," she told him. "I won't be in any trouble. Even if they suspected that it was us -- which they won't -- there won't be any proof."
That was true, at any rate, because at that very moment the only proof, their toilet seat, was en route to the Weasley family home in Ottery St. Catchpole.
"Alright," Neville said at last. "But promise me you won't get into any more trouble, Harri. You're my best friend, you know. It would be horrid if you were expelled!"
At Neville's proclamation, Harri beamed. "I won't be, now, come on before your friends follow us. I have to tell you something odd I noticed yesterday morning about the you-know-what you-know-where, and I don't want to be overheard."
Neville frowned but followed her anyway. "Hermione's nice," he protested. "She really wants you to be friends with her."
"I'm sure she's nice, but this is a secret -- our secret -- and I don't want her to know. She'd tell someone that we went there, you know she would."
Reluctantly, Neville nodded. "So, what did you notice? You haven't been back there, have you?" He looked horrified at the prospect.
"'Course I haven't! I don't have a death wish, you know," she said, tartly.
Neville muttered something that sounded quite like, "You could have fooled me," which Harri promptly ignored.
He sighed. "Alright, what is it?" Neville asked finally.
"Professor Quirrell is an odd sort-of fellow, wouldn't you say?" she started.
He shrugged. "He's scared of his own shadow, if that's what you mean."
Harri's smile broadened. "Exactly! He's not exactly the sort to go looking for danger, is he?"
"No way. You saw him at the Halloween feast, didn't you? He fainted dead away!"
"Why, then, do you think he would be hanging around the forbidden corridor -- the very one that contains the three-headed dog?"
Neville frowned, brow furrowed. "He wouldn't." His mouth dropped open at Harri's look. "Why would anyone who knew what was being kept there go there?"
Harri paused, chewing on her lower lip. "Well, that's the question, isn't it? Why would he?"
"Maybe," Neville said, slowly, "maybe it has something to do with what that thing is guarding. You said that Cerberus guarded the entrance to the Underworld, right?" At Harri's nod, he continued. "Maybe he's guarding something here."
"Alright. Maybe he is. That doesn't explain why Quirrell would willingly go there, does it?"
Neville was beginning to look rather excited about solving their problem. "Maybe he wants whatever that thing is guarding!"
"But what is it guarding?"
Neville shrugged. "Who knows? Could be anything."
"Whatever it is can't be any good. Else why would they use a Cerberus to guard it? It must be something very dangerous."
Neville's excited look turned to one of dread. "I don't know."
"Neither do I," she said. "But I think I know of someone who might. We better get to the common room. I've got loads of homework to do, not to mention I want to get started on the Potions essay that's due next week."
Neville groaned at the mention of Potions. "Professor Snape hates me," he moaned piteously.
They were nearly back to the common room when Harri remembered what she'd discovered before! Hagrid had said that whatever was in the school was between Professor Dumbledore and Flamel! How could she have forgotten? She supposed that she had been a bit distracted, what with Quidditch and the twins, but she vowed to start researching Flamel again. In the mean time, she'd use the twins' map to keep on eye on Quirrell.
"Harri, are you coming?" Neville asked.
Absently, Harri nodded and followed Neville through the portal and into the common room. She couldn't help but feel a twinge of excitement at unraveling what appeared to be a rather large mystery! There was nothing like impending doom to cure boredom!