So, I'll throw this warning up. This chapter was tough to write, and the next chapter is probably going to be harder. It deals with some… well, sensitive topics (past sexual assault / abuse), towards the end and may be triggering to some.
A sudden change in heartbeat woke the earthbender.
"Asami, wake up."
Lin shook the trembling girl. The pair had fallen asleep on the couch at Lin's apartment. The younger woman next to her was sweating, and jerking around on the couch. Her breathing had turned quick and shallow – another night terror –the third this week.
"No… No… Stop… Please, no, stop." She whispered over and over, still stuck in her nightmare. This one can't be another about her father… Lin tried to hold and comfort the CEO, stroking her hair and whispering back sweet words to try and bring the woman into a better state.
With a deep intake of air, the Asami's eyes shot open, frantically looking around while pushing Lin away from her. Tears lined the frightened nonbender's eyes and threatened to spill over at any second. She was heaving, trying to get a grip on what was reality and what was in her head. When she recognized that the person next to her had been Lin, Asami calmed slightly and pulled her lover closer, nuzzling into her chest.
The chief felt her shirt start to get wet and she found herself gently pushing the younger woman's chin up to study her features. Asami looked blankly back at the older woman, still crying with her lips slightly parted. Spirits she looks so beautiful when she cries. The older woman bent slightly to kiss her forehead.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I'm s-s-so sorry I w-w-woke you up again, Lin…" she trailed off as a fresh wave of tears started to fall down her shaped cheeks.
"Honey, no, really it's okay. But are you?" Her voice was softer now, trying to coax Asami into talking, but only if she felt ready.
"I-I-I can't. I'm- can we just go back to sleep for now?" She clearly wanted to wait until later to talk about this.
"Wake me up if you need me?" The woman nodded and the two settled back in. The former chief held the younger heiress in her arms while she drifted off to sleep again. Lin's mind began to wander what her night terrors had been about, but not long after, sleep overcame her yet again.
As much as I don't want to admit it, she's been a good thing for me. But I've got to figure out what's been bothering her, she looked so distraught last night… The master earthbender was broken from her reverie when another cocky student tried to bend a small metal cube at her. It had started off as a simple challenge, but evolved into one that earned her quite a reputation: bend a cube at the Chief and if it hit her, you can graduate right then and there. But, if it doesn't hit the Chief, she got to throw it back as hard as she wanted. It was almost comical that so many students dared to test their skills against the first-born child of the pioneer of metalbending– but that made it even more satisfying to watch every student lose. They just didn't seem to understand that you never bend at a Beifong and expect to get away with it. This time was no different, as she stopped the small metal cube midair she saw the color drain from the offending student's face. Lin grinned and flung it hard enough at the guilty student to leave a nice welt in the shape of a 'B' on his arm. It was a nice form of payback, but she yearned for more of a challenge than pesky students to get out some of her frustration.
It'd been a few months since Lin had ventured to see Suyin in Zaofu. The last time was rather pleasant – after they had made up years ago with their mother, things had been far easier and she found herself actually liking Su's company. But like her mother, nothing could be hidden from Su, and she knew as soon as she stepped foot in Zaofu that there was no denying her that something significant had happened in her life since the sisters had last seen each other. Lin was sure that she knew of Asami's attempts to comfort her sister in the wake of Korra's death, as well as the subsequent friendship, but whether Su had foreseen a romantic relationship blossoming was unknown.
Lin chuckled at all the teasing she was bound to receive once Su figured it out. She'll never let me live down the fact I'm with younger women… Kya, Xiaofei, Korra… Su knew of her sister's preferences in women far before Lin had figured out she was gay. She was far better versed in matters of the heart, having had relationships of all types before falling in love with her husband, Bataar. The other metalbending master had been one of the only people that had predicted Lin's previous relationship with Avatar Korra, and never once hesitated in supporting the couple, even defending them to a number of naysayers when they had finally gone public.
Lin knew that her sister would have no issues with her new relationship with the Asami, but that didn't ease her nerves around the conversation that would surely take place. Although the Chief always appeared calm and collected, there were conversations that still made her a little uneasy. Maybe it was her being more personal in her relations, but talking about those kinds of feelings always was a tough subject.
The former chief started to put away the different metals around the gym as the day wound down, considering how she wanted to approach Asami about going on a mini-field trip to Zaofu… Maybe it would help clear the younger woman's head.
Asami had been working late at the office to try and ease her mind. Usually, she liked to pick Lin up in her Satomobile and head over to Lin's place to relax. But this time, Lin beat her to it – and before she knew it the former Chief was at her office, casually lounging around reading a magazine while Asami finished up some necessary paperwork.
The CEO started stacking some papers when Lin finally broke the silence, "I have to visit my sister… And I was wondering if you wanted to go with me?"
"Why, is something wrong with Su?" The pair started walking towards the hallway.
"No, no, I just want to fight. And we both need a vacation." The former chief laughed as she pushed the button on the lift.
Asami watched as the buttons glowed from floor to floor, slowly making its way to theirs, "Lin, I don't think it works that way…"
"I want to fight someone as good as me, and the only other people who are happen to be my mother and sister. My mother is out of the question, she'd wipe the floor with me… Plus she's in the spirit world beating up Korra… So that leaves Su… I'm getting antsy and frustrated with all these sub-par students."
"Let's get out of here and we'll talk more. Short answer is yes, though." The couple stepped into the automatic metal doors. The doors closed, and Lin was pinned to the side of the elevator car before she realized what was happening. Asami's lips felt soft on her neck, the breath tickled and sent a warm feeling down her spine. The young heiress's hips pushed into the older woman against the enclosure as her hands traveled upwards to skim underneath the hem of her clothing. The dinging signaling the elevators descension had become deafening. Finally, one last "ding" indicated the couple's departure, and Asami was off of her so quickly she started to question whether the encounter was real or imaginary.
Asami had been teasing her like that for weeks: random encounters had turned passionate quickly and then would stop abruptly. It was leaving her frazzled at the most inopportune times, but it also left something to be desired – something more… intimate.
"You alright there, Chief? Or are you going to keep standing there catching dragonflies in your mouth?" Lin shook her head before following the non-bender to her car.
"Are things alright between us? About last night…" The words seemed to tumble out of her mouth without thinking as she sat in the passenger seat, and an embarrassing blush crept up to her cheeks.
Asami grabbed Lin's hand from the other side, "Yes, things are wonderful, but we do need to talk." Lin started to look away, her eyes starting to glass over- to the untrained eye, she looked tired, but Asami knew better – Lin was blaming herself. Before Lin could protest Asami started, "It's not you at all. Let's get that clear. I just want to talk to you about a couple of things is all, we're completely fine, it's just something about me you need to know… It's about my nightmares…"
The CEO looked away for a few seconds before starting the Satomobile, something was obviously weighing on her psyche. Her hand rejoined Lin's, and a light squeeze reassured her that things were alright.
Things were tense as they entered the Chief's abode, but Lin was mostly confident that Asami wouldn't say anything negative about their relationship and knew that the upcoming talk had to do more with her young lover's mind. I thought they were always about her father betraying her… But if last night proves anything – there's something far more sinister haunting her.
Lin decided to break the silence, "Do you want me to make tea?"
"No, no, let's just sit." Her heart felt like it was about to burst through her chest; she was sure Lin could hear it. I don't know where to start…
Asami took a deep breath, but still no words left her mouth. "It's okay little one, take your time." Lin looked at her with concern and worry, but gently reached to hold both of Asami's hands in her own to encourage her. "Whatever you have to say, it's okay, but you've got to start talking so I can help you…"
She relaxed slightly and tried to joke about the situation, even though it was obvious she was seconds from crying, "It's funny, I was the one comforting you for a while and now I am here like an idiot."
"It's what friends do, I hear." Lin half grinned. The nonbender's heartbeat started to quicken again.
"Something… bad happened. A long time ago…" She let out a small breath.
"Go on…" Lin squeezed her hand. Her heartbeat was rising at an alarming rate as she started to speak, "I… I was four when it happened… well, when it first happened…" deep breath, I can do this. "I guess I need to blurt it out there. I... I love you, Lin, did you know that? I just want you to know why we haven't been… why we haven't had sex yet."
Oh. That was what she wanted to talk about. It was true that Lin wondered, but she wasn't going to push the girl into anything she wasn't ready for yet, despite her wanting to express her love to the nonbender in the most natural way and Asami's slightly garbled signals. How the two topics related, Lin could only imagine – and her imagination took her to dark places where she needed to protect the younger woman. Her years of police training prepared her for what Asami was about to tell her next, but it didn't make it any easier.
Asami looked her over as a tear streaked down her face, and tried to not let her voice waiver, "And I know you've been wondering but don't want to ask and it does have to do with my nightmares and I'm scared and I- he-"
Lin cut her off, fighting between approaching it as a police officer or as her lover and trying to find a subtle mix of the two. "Did… Did someone hurt you, Asami?"
A nod, mixed with the nonbenders tears, told her everything she needed to know for now. Lin wrapped the shaking woman in a tight embrace and whispered as she cried, "Shhh, we'll get through this. It's not your fault."
"B-b-but he, he-" She cried harder as Lin ran her fingers through the soft dark locks of the younger woman.
She listened as Asami recounted the terrible pain that had been inflicted upon her over and over throughout her childhood… The anger started to boil within the chief, but right now – Asami needed her.
Eventually, the intermittent crying had worn the young woman out. The metalbending master lifted the nonbender and carried her slowly to her bed to allow some better sleep, trying to process all that had been told to her and decide what the next steps were.
She had so much she needed to talk to Su about.