I said I wasn't going to post A/N's any more, but this is necessary.

If you feel the need to whine about/bash Leonard…do it elsewhere. I don't want to hear it, nor will I ever agree with it. Thanks.

-DG

My first day of work is not too bad. My training mostly involves the computer system that The Brown Derby uses, which is pretty similar to the one The Cheesecake Factory uses. The only difference is that instead of an I.D. card, you enter a pin and the options are in different spots. But, I guess if you work in one restaurant, you've worked in them all. I work ten to six and then head home (to Amy's). I've decided not to go over to the guys' place tonight for Thai. After yesterday, there's no way I'm going to face that again. Clearly, I can't be trusted. I've suddenly realized that I want to play tonsil hockey with Sheldon "Chastity" Cooper, so I think I just need to take a little time to myself and contemplate the meaning of life…and why I've lost my freaking mind.

Can I just say I love Adam? He's just the most wonderful, genuine, adorable person I've known in a while. And he's so darn cute. While working with him, I've learned that he has a partner named Kyle and they've just moved in together. His parents disowned him when he finally came out to them last year. Dad's a minister and Mom just plain doesn't approve. It makes me appreciate the fact that, while my parents are a little nutty, they are wonderful, loving people who work hard and support their family. I mean, my brother Tim used to cook meth in their tool shed and Darcy got pregnant at fifteen, so I guess they're up for anything.

Yes, I'm the non-fuck up in that family. What is this world coming to?

But, despite my utter confusion and general idiocy over the Sheldon situation, I'm in a pretty good mood as I head back to Oak Knoll, singing at the top of my lungs to Nicki Minaj's Starships. That's right…I can rap like…a blonde white chick from Nebraska. I get myself a salad from the grocery store on the way home and a two liter bottle of Mountain Dew. Amy and Leonard's plane doesn't leave until eight, so I'll get to see her before she leaves.

I can hear her voice through the door as I fish for my key outside 314, holding the soda bottle under my arm as I fling the door open and nearly trip over her suitcase. She's standing near the couch on the phone, pacing furiously. I've never seen Amy angry. Not like this.

"You promised this time, Sheldon!" She's saying, "After my aunt's birthday party, I thought it would be different, but yet again, you can't find one spare moment for me when given a better opportunity!" I close the door, waving at her and moving into the kitchen, setting my stuff on the table and grabbing a cup for my soda. "I don't care if Nathan Fillion is going to be at Stuart's store tonight…I'm your girlfriend! You were supposed to come say goodbye to me." Amy looks close to tears now, "I suppose I'd foolishly thought things were different now. Goodbye Sheldon. Enjoy your night." She hangs up her phone and leans shakily against the back of the sofa.

"Ames…" I say, abandoning my food and moving toward her. That's when she bursts into tears and I freeze for about half a second before rushing over to her and wrapping my arms around her. "Hey…hey, now…Sweetie…" Her arms lock around my middle. I carefully remove her glasses so they don't get crushed. I've so been there. Men suck. And the crackpot she landed herself is no exception.

"He's never going to change…is he?" She asks tearfully, effectively breaking my heart. I sigh and smooth her hair down.

"Probably not. But I think you have to figure out if you can live with that or not…" I tell her, reaching for a Kleenex. "You have to accept the good and the bad…that's the shit part of dating."

"Penny, it's so easy for you," Amy says, wiping her eyes and moving away from me, accepting her glasses again, "You don't have to try. If Sheldon and I don't work out…I probably won't have another chance."

"That's not true!" I tell her fiercely, taking her hand. "Listen to me, Amy Farrah Fowler. You are going to end up with someone amazing. Whether it be with Sheldon or anyone else…I don't know. But someone is going to make you happy. I promise." A knock at the door makes us both jump. I notice the clock. 6:30. Amy brushes past me and opens the door miserably.

"Hey, Amy! Raj is waiting in the car downst—" Leonard cuts off abruptly, looking at me quizzically. I shake my head. "Are you okay?"

"My boyfriend is a jerk," Amy answers tightly, "Other than that, I'm just peachy."

"Sweetie, go wash your face and cool off," I tell her, urging her toward the hall to the bathroom, before turning back to Leonard. "Sheldon ditched her for Nathan Fillion."

"But that's…" He stops himself, "You're joking…" Leonard says, rolling his eyes. "She's pretty upset, huh?"

"I've never seen her like this," I admit, feeling terrible. "I mean, Sheldon has done some pretty crappy things, but this?"

"I know. And things seemed to be going so well with them…" He sighs as Amy returns, a little more composed.

"I apologize," Amy says diplomatically, straightening her skirt, "for my outburst."

"Amy, you're boyfriend pulled a dick move…you're allowed to be pissed." I put an arm around her picking up her suitcase and handing it to Leonard. "Listen to me," I say to her, "You go and you have a great time. And don't you dare text Sheldon. Make him stew in his guilt."

"Girl power?" She asks, meeting my eyes and making me chuckle. I love that Amy loves the Spice Girls.

"Girl power," I nod. Hugging her one more time. "Love you, Bestie. Call me when you guys get in, okay?" Her eyes are shining with gratitude.

"I will."

"Don't worry, Penny…I'll make sure she's okay," Leonard says, hugging me. And then, they're gone and I'm standing in mine and Amy's living room so damn angry at Sheldon that I could wring his scrawny little neck. I wait five minutes, put my salad in the fridge and grab my keys, storming out of the apartment still wearing my work polo and khakis. I don't waste a moment as I drive the few blocks to the comic book store. I walk inside, fully prepared to confront an army of Firefly loving nerds and find Stuart hanging over the counter, eating a piece of bread and reading a comic book. No nerds in sight…well, except for Captain Sweatpants and some other unfortunate dude wearing suspenders. Eek.

"Hey, Stuart!" I say, walking toward the counter. He looks up, startled, as if the sight of a female in his store is an anomaly.

"P-Penny?" He says, looking around.

"Hey, where's this Nathan Fillion dude?" I ask, forgoing all pretenses and crossing my arms. "I have a bone to pick with one of his groupies."

"Um…" Stuart looks uncomfortably at his feet. "That's not until Wednesday…" He says, looking like he isn't sure if he should tell me the truth or not.

"What?!" I shriek at him, feeling my Hulk-like rage beat through my veins. Stuart jumps visibly, shrinking away from the counter.

"Yeah…he's doing a graphic novel signing here on Wednesday…n-not tonight…"

"Son of a bitch!" I spin on my heel and turn toward the door, giving Stuart one final glance, "Thanks, Stuart."

"You're…welcome?" His weak voice comes as I abandon The Comic Center and head back to my car. Just as I'm pulling up to the Los Robles apartments, I notice said whacko walking into the building with a bag of Thai food and quickly park, pursuing him like a hunter stalking prey. I let him get to the top of the stairs before standing at the bottom of the last flight and glaring up at him.

"You got a lot of nerve, Cooper," I growl, making him yelp and drop his food, turning to face me.

"Penny!" He wails, eyes wide as I advance on him.

"How could you?" I ask, grabbing the front of his shirt. "How could you do that to Amy?" I smack at him and corner him against his door.

"I…" But he knows damn well he's caught.

"You lied to her, Sheldon! Why?" I ask, feeling almost as hurt for her as I would for myself.

"I don't like goodbyes," He admits helplessly, "As you recall when I had attempted to move to Bozeman, Montana, I dislike the discomfort of saying goodbye. I am uncomfortable with general displeasure of the situation, so I avoid it because I worry about making a mistake, and..."

"You mean, you're afraid you won't act correctly?" I ask, dumbfounded by his honesty. "Honey, Amy just wanted to see you…she wanted a kiss goodbye. You're her boyfriend. It's not optional."

"Oh dear…" Sheldon sighs, stooping to pick up his dropped food. Luckily, it didn't explode.

"Come on," I sigh, taking his key and opening the door. He follows me inside, moving to the counter while I lock the door behind me. I don't bring up the scene from the day before on the second floor, and neither does he, thankfully.

"What should I do?" Sheldon asks me, quickly removing his food and retrieving a fork.

"You need to call her," I tell him bluntly. "Right now. Ten minutes ago!"

"But she's on a plane," He points out. I shrug.

"Leave her a message," I retort, "She needs to know that you're sorry. She needs to know you care. Do you?"

"Do I what?" Sheldon answers in bemusement, and I have to suppress the urge to smack his clueless face.

"Do you care? For Amy?" I bring my knees up to my chest, biting the inside of my cheek as I await his response. My loyalty is to Amy. Jealousy and general weirdness aside, I'm not making a move on her kooky ass boyfriend.

"Of course," Sheldon tells me, coming to sit beside me in his spot. "She is probably one of the few people in the world who is most like me. She is a brilliant mind."

"Is that all?" I ask. He's her boyfriend. He's supposed to say she's beautiful and funny and amazing. Because she is!

"What else is there?" He asks, making my heart sink with disappointment for poor Amy.

"Aren't you attracted to her?" I ask, watching his eyes widen in shock. "When you two…got busy the other night…were you…?" I trail off, letting the question dangle there. He stares at me cautiously, probably wondering if this is a trick question.

"Was I…?" He continues, waiting for me to finish the question. I let out a deep breath of impatience, realizing who I'm dealing with.

"Did your downstairs react?" I ask. Blank stare. "Did you get…aroused?" I hiss, torn between anger and laughter.

"Oh…" Sheldon replies, looking down at his uneaten Mee Krob. "While, I enjoyed being close with Amy and found the experience to be quite…pleasant…I cannot say that I was aroused at all." He purses his lips contemplatively. "Of course, we were interrupted by your return and following drug induced episode, so I cannot accurately say whether or not—"

"Yeah. Got it," I nod, grabbing his cell phone off of the coffee table and thrusting it into his hands. "Call Amy." Nodding, he dials the phone, turning to me.

"What do I say?" He whispers. I lean forward.

"Tell her…what you told me. You didn't want to have to say goodbye to her…that you're sorry for hurting her feelings and to call you when she gets settled at the hotel." He does exactly as he's told, to his credit. And every word he says to her feels like a weird little jab in my chest. Because, even though I want him to fix his fight with Amy, it's still killing me to hear it.

Now I know I'm in trouble.

Why is this happening? I've gotten by just fine for the past twenty-six years without having a crush on someone I couldn't have. Someone I never wanted to want. Someone who doesn't want me. Stop it, Penny.

"Satisfactory?" He asks, setting the phone aside and taking a bite of his food. I only nod, hugging my knees to my chest. When did I turn into this whiny, teen drama character? I used to be tough. In the course of two days, I've been reduced to an angsty Twilight heroine. I could have a guy who is exactly right for me, who cares about me…and what do I do? I develop a thing for the one who is all kinds of wrong for me.

Isn't he?

Sheldon and I have nothing in common…except for Soft Kitty. Except for the fact that we're both from the country. Except for the fact that we both have tempers and bicker like crazy. Except for the fact that we understand each other. Except for the fact that we would do anything for each other.

When did Sheldon become so important to me?

And why didn't I realize it before? But I already know…I was trying so hard to make it work with Leonard, that I never realized what I'd been looking for had been right in front of me all along. I just didn't know…I never knew it was Sheldon I wanted, because it was Leonard I'd needed at the time. I wasn't ready for him. (I don't think anyone could ever be ready for Sheldon Cooper.)

Yeah. I'm in trouble.

I say goodbye to Sheldon around eleven-thirty and head home, staring forlornly at 4B once more until I tear myself away and leave. I flop onto the couch in 314 and pull out my salad, flipping through the channels, settling for reruns of Dance Moms. I turn the T.V. off around midnight, heading to bed to repeat work all over again the next day.

When I wake up the next morning, I realize that I haven't heard from Amy yet. She'd promised to call me when she arrived in New Jersey. Of course, it had been a six hour flight and probably well after midnight when they'd landed, so I am not too worried.

Adam is already at work when I get there at ten to ten, looking a little flustered. I take pity on him.

"What's wrong, Sweetie?" I ask, pulling a stack of napkins out of the cupboard. He shakes his head.

"One of the dumbass waitresses burnt her hand on the grill and Liz is freaking out about liability and shit. We're going to be short a waitress," He sighs, making me smile a little. He's so darn cute.

"Adam, I was a waitress for years…I could fill in. I mean, the day shift is pretty dead bar wise anyway," I shrug, "Would that be okay for you?" His eyes light up.

"Really? You would do that?" He asks and I nod.

"Definitely," I pat his hand. "Lemme go talk to Liz." I find my boss hanging out near the dumpster, smoking a cigarette furiously and staring at the ground. "Um, Liz?" She looks up.

"Oh, Penny…what is it?"

"I just wanted to tell you, I was a waitress for like, eight years. If you need me to fill in—"

"Oh, thank you Jesus!" She cries, tossing the cigarette aside and throwing her arms around me. "Kid, I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Are you kidding?" I laugh, "I got fired from the freaking Cheesecake Factory, so I'm grateful for the opportunity!"

"Ugh, I hate that place," Liz grumbles, walking back into the building with me, "Manager's a weaselly little shit. I know him…he used to be married to my sister."

"Ew!" I exclaim, giggling despite myself, "What was she thinking?"

"I asked her the same thing…" Liz quips, handing me an apron and a pad of paper. "Thanks again, Penny. I owe you, like hugely." What she doesn't know is, the more hours I get, the better. Not only do I need the money…I could use the distraction.

After what I consider a fairly easy day, I head home with a pocket full of tips and put half of it into an envelope that I immediate stick under my mattress. (I don't have a Green Lantern with a hollowed out ass.) I still haven't heard from Amy, so I call her after ordering myself a pizza. She finally answers on the fourth ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ames!" I say brightly, "I was worried!"

"Oh, Penny!" She exclaims as if she's just remembering I exist. She sounds a little tired. That's when I realize it's almost ten there.

"Were you sleeping?" I ask.

"No…no," She insists, perking up immediately, "I was just…going over some of Dr. Hofstadter's notes and comparing them with my own."

"Oh!" I pause awkwardly, "Well that sounds…fun… did you and Sheldon work things out?" I hear her sigh quietly.

"Yes, I received his message this morning. My cell phone was temporarily out of order. The battery died," She explains, pausing again. "Listen, Bestie…I need to let you go. I promise to call you tomorrow."

"Okay…" I say, getting the feeling Amy is still upset by her shortness with me. "Have fun."

"I will," She assures me, "Goodbye." And before I can respond, she's hung up. Weird. A knock at the door, makes me forget my discomfort as I throw the door open and find Bernadette standing there, looking absolutely pissed as she walks past me without so much as a hello.

"Hey, Sweetie…" I trail after her. Why is everything falling apart now?

"I can't take it anymore!" She screeches, stomping into the kitchen and throwing the fridge open. "Don't you have any wine?"

"No…" I tell her carefully, "I quit drinking."

"You what?" Bernadette cries, looking desperately through the fridge. "Oh, because of Saturday?"

"Yeah," I say, sitting at the kitchen table as she settles for a bottle of water and slumps into the opposite chair. "Talk to me."

"I got into a fight with Mrs. Wolowitz. I was offered a job at a Pharmaceutical company in New York," She explains.

"Oh! That's awesome!" I nod enthusiastically. Bernadette doesn't smile.

"You would think…but she's forbidden me from taking it, saying that I planned all along to steal her little boy out from under her! She actually thinks I'm doing this on purpose to come between her and Howard. And he's not even home yet! They've extended his trip. So, I have no support at home and I am worried that he will take her side!" Her eyes narrow, "I love Howard very much, Penny…but I can't handle his mother any more. She and I used to get along so well…"

"Yeah, well Howard and his mom have a relationship that even Oedipus would call fucked up," I reply dryly, rolling my eyes.

"Oh God…" Bernadette buries her face in her hands. "Penny, if this doesn't get fixed…I don't know if I can stay in that house until she dies."

"Yeah, at the rate she's going, you guys'll have to go all Gilbert Grape and burn the house down with her in it," I grin, taking a drink of my own bottle of water.

"Penny!" Bernadette wails, shaking her head and touching her throat. "I just…it's so hard without him there. I miss him so much. I'm a newlywed and I can't even enjoy it because he's in space. He's not even on this planet…"

Whoa…this calls for an emergency intervention. Calmly, I rise and head over to the pantry, praying Amy has some kind of alcohol in this apartment. Luckily, I find a bottle of white wine stashed in the bottom drawer of the fridge.

Thank you, Amy, for developing some of my bad habits…

I pour Bernadette a glass of wine and settle back into my seat. She accepts it greedily, taking a long sip.

"I just feel like I'm the one doing all the compromising, you know?" She sighs, looking forlornly into the light liquid.

"Sweetie," I say tiredly, kind of wishing I could just take a hot bath and go to bed, "You knew what you were getting into when you married Howard. You know I'm always going to be on your side, but this is between you and Howard. You need to work it out with him. I wish I could help, but look at me…I've failed in every relationship I've ever had and I make terrible decisions. I'm not one to come to for advice. I can't even figure out what I want in life!" Meaning, I'm scamming on Dr. Egomanic Cooper. Will this madness never end?!

I swear this crap should be on a T.V. show or something. We could make millions. I mean, if Snooki can be famous by being disgusting, then why can't I? I'm almost positive I'm not as gross as she is.

Bernadette decides to go stay the night at her parents' house, leaving me (finally) alone. Exhausted, I shut off the T.V. and head to take a bath with the latest issue of the newspaper. It's a habit of mine, scanning the classifieds for auditions. I never find anything, but it's still a compulsion I have. An absent, familiar thing to take my mind off of…everything.

Equity Auditions for Principal Roles in Les Miserables. Yeah…no. Not a singer. I found that out the hard way when I watched myself in RENT. Lily white blonde chick playing a Spanish heroin addict. Great choice.

Featured Male Role needed for Glee. Ages 18-30. I don't have the plumbing.

Open call for Sci-Fi show. Looking for a female lead. Ages 25-35. Preferably blonde.

I laugh mirthlessly, rolling my eyes and tossing the paper aside. I've fallen into that trap before. I can't begin to count how many auditions I've gone to where they're looking for a blonde between the ages of 18-35. Too Midwest. Too tall. Too tan (REALLY?). Too modern looking. I've heard it all. What happened to plain old ugly and pretty? Talented and not talented?

I've all but given up on acting. It's just not going to happen for me. I know that. I think I'm okay with it. Maybe I'm meant for bigger things…maybe not. Right now, I just want to be happy. And I think this whole Sheldon thing is just that…my need to find what I want. Maybe I'm just deluding myself and I should go home to Nebraska and put some distance between us. But I can't. I couldn't leave him…them…if I tried. They're my family. All of them. Even Howard and all of his creepy mother loving weirdness.

When I get out of the bath, I pull on my robe, throw my hair back and head into my room, turning on the T.V. to find Ghost on TBS. I love this movie. Vintage Swayze at his best. So sexy. (We miss you, Patrick!) It's right at the end when Molly and Oda Mae are saying goodbye to him.

"Sam?"

"Molly?"

"I can hear you."

Then that light comes in and she can see him and I'm a goner. Makes me cry every damn time.

"I love you, Molly. I've always loved you."

"Ditto."

See? This is what love is supposed to be. No, I don't mean I hope the guy I love gets shot, dies and hangs out as a ghost. I mean, it's supposed to be a sure thing. You should just know…and it should feel right. Because when you find the right person, everything is just supposed to click. It's not easy…how could it be? I just hope one day…I love someone as much as Sam loved Molly.

"It's amazing, Molly…the love inside…you take it with you."

God, I hope so.