32 Productions Presents…
A Teen Titan Fan Fiction The Teen Titans in…"Normal Equals Boring"
Chapter Five
Rehab Center
Kori sighed. This wasn't exactly what she was hoping for when she asked to volunteer there. Shaking her head, she got the cleaning supplies from the closet. It turns out that basically the volunteer's job is to clean up the biological messes the patients tend to leave in their withdrawn states. …it means they PUKE, for those who didn't catch my drift there. Her plan to get a chance to speak with Richard wasn't going so well just yet…but she had faith. It was going to be okay. She'd awaken his memories and he'd fix everything. He always did.
Richard: What the hell are you doing here?
She jumped, hitting her head on the table she was cleaning under. Swearing under her breath, she got out from under the table and rubbed her head. Remember, Kori…be human…act the human.
Kori: Cleaning puke.
Good! That was good! Not the most…eloquent statement, but human enough. …how did he sneak up on her in a wheelchair? The wheels must be really well oiled.
Richard: You know what I mean.
Okay…hide how happy you are to see him…put on a saddened face. Sound sincere.
Kori: …I know you probably don't think too highly of me…but I'm trying to fix that. Have you seen my sister here?
Richard: Didn't know you had one.
Kori: She's a cocaine snorting whore…and it's mostly my fault. …I can't just let her…well, I feel bad. So I'm going to work to make it right.
He didn't look too impressed. Damn. She thought she deserved an award for that. Maybe she hammed it up too much?
Richard: Uh huh. Are you sure you're not just trying to find easy access to pills?
Kori: Of course not! What kind of…don't answer that. …anyway, would I be cleaning puke if that was my reason?
Richard: From the stories I've heard, I don't think there's anything you wouldn't do just so you could enjoy yourself.
Ouch…that was so hurtful! Stay calm…stay calm.
Kori: Well, I hope I can make you stop thinking stuff like that.
She sounded so childish. But it was so hard to speak the way Earthlings do. Her natural ability to assimilate language is almost flawless…save for the fact that it doesn't incorporate slang. Richard sighed.
Richard: Whatever…
He struggled to wheel himself around toward the door. Before she even had time to think about it, Kori was moving to help.
Richard: What are you doing?
Kori: You couldn't do it.
He said nothing to that, allowing her to help. …damn. Usually she would be thrilled that Robin was accepting help with something like this. The Robin she knew would shoo her away, claiming he could do it himself. Instead, he was allowing her to push him along.
Kori: Any location in particular?
Oops, she was starting to slip again.
Richard: …I don't care.
Kori: No? What if I choose "oncoming traffic"?
Obviously it was just a joke.
Richard: Knock yourself out.
Obviously that wasn't a joke. Kori pouted, not that he could see, what with her being behind him to push the chair. Damn it…THINK! Enough of this abuse taking, Kori! How can you prompt his memory? A hug! Yes, a back breaking hug of Tama…wait, she didn't have her strength. …hmm…oh, what about…no. Hmm…she could try chugging mustard. That might prompt…something. But where was she going to get mustard right then? Damn her for not being prepared! THINK!
Richard: You're in your own little world, aren't you?
Kori: Huh? Oh…I suppose so. I apologize.
Damn, another slip! The word is "sorry"! SORRY!
Kori: In all seriousness, where do you want me to take you?
Richard: …well, it's about time for me to fail at trying to walk again. Might as well take me to the "gym".
Kori: Ve…okkie dokkie.
"Okkie dokkie"?! UGH! She HATED talking improperly…because she didn't know how! Curse her speech teachers on Tamaran for their insistence of proper annunciation and other things. Still, he didn't call her on it and she wheeled him to the room.
Kori: Okay, now what?
Richard: Nothing. Just pretend I tried.
Oh no. None of that! She put her hands on her hips and stood in front of him.
Kori: I didn't volunteer to help the patients sque…squ…get out of doing the work. Now you can tell me the proper method, or I can experiment. Trust me when I say that experimenting will be far less enjoyable.
Her tone and body language told Richard she wasn't screwing around. He gulped and nodded his consent.
Kori: Good…let's begin.
Dayton Manor
With a shaking hand, Gar wiped the tear from his eye.
Gar: I have found the promise land…
Before him was the biggest freaking TV he had ever seen. Seriously, they must have needed a fork lift to get it in. The house was probably built AROUND the television! Next to it was every manner of game console he could imagine. Everything from the Whoa to the Y-Rhombus 720! And…good grief was that an "On TV"?! With the huge, unbelievably complex remote?! Gar had to check for droolage. …hmm…what was his problem again? …oh yeah. Not his world. …well…it COULD be…no. No, no. Sure he was nice and pinkish again, sure he was rich and had some kick ass entertainment…but Rita was dead and there was no sign of Terra. Besides, his friends want out and that was enough for him. The question was, what did he do now? He had to think…in movies with parallel universes how do you deal with it? …well...hmm…usually the parallel universe is filled with evil guys. …all opposite and stuff. …damn it. Sure, this world's version of him was pretty bad…but apparently Raven was just a freaking nerd. That's not evil or anything. Kind of sad, but not evil. Hmm…but since the real Raven was a half demon and therefore had evil in her blood…then her opposite would be unremarkable and…stuff. So…maybe this was an evil unive…no, no…that couldn't be. The limo driver seemed nice enough. …so what the hell is this? Man, his head hurt. It seemed like the only one who is getting all mixed up is…
Gar: Holy crap, it's us! We're the only ones getting screwed!
So…what did that mean? That they were in the dimension where their lives suck worse then before? And if that's the case, how did they become their counterparts? …damn his head hurt. None of this made any sense…made no sense…a dream then? …no, no…it was too long…too real. Besides, Derek's punches HURT. …so what the hell was it? What…what, what, what…nope, he had nothing. He picked up the phone and dialed the number Rachel gave him.
Rachel: Hello?
…why was she panting? Hmm. Maybe she had to run to the phone.
Gar: Hey, it's me. Did you find her?
Rachel: Her who? Derek, stop it. I'm on the phone.
How about that, Rachel DID have a pulse. As Raven she was rarely seen even pecking Shade on the lips. Gar was beginning to think she was dead inside.
Gar: Um…Terra?
Rachel: Oh, Gar, it's you. Your voice sounds different on the phone…anyway, she goes to our school…but there are huge gaps in her information. I don't understand it. Anyway…she hasn't been to school in a while.
Gar: Do they have an address? A phone number? Anything?
Rachel: Not a single useful thing. Derek, quit…I'm serious. I'm NOT smiling.
Gar: Aw, you're smiling?! Why aren't I ever around to see that?
Rachel: If there's nothing else…
Gar: Well, actually…I want to talk about where we are. I mean, if this is a parallel universe, why are we in our double's bodies? And why is it each of us has had a bad life and only you three remembered at first?
Rachel: …I don't know. Come to think of it…can you remember the day before we woke up like this?
Gar: …no.
Rachel: …I don't understand this at all.
Gar: Dude, that's what I've been thinking to myself since I got home. Glad it's not just me.
Rachel: Ugh…I give up. Let's focus on snapping our friends out of it and THEN we'll figure out where the hell we are.
Gar: Works for me.
Rachel: Good. Call me if anything happens. Bye. Derek, that tickles…
Sighing, Gar hung up.
Gar: I miss Terra.
Rachel's House: Rachel's Room
Rachel: Derek…come on, stop…
She didn't really want him to stop, and it was obvious by her tone. Rachel knew that they SHOULD stop, but she found it impossible. More then likely this body, not used to this sort of stimuli, was demanding more, despite what her mind and memory told her. This sort of thing wasn't too rare in their home world. They weren't much for making out (actually, Shade wouldn't mind, but Raven tended to veto the notion) but when they did…hoo boy. Let's just say Raven had to wear a scarf to hide the proof…and Shade had fresh scratches down his back…and bite marks on his shoulder. Regardless, Derek heard the hesitation in her voice and didn't stop. Why did something that she wasn't supposed to be doing have to feel so damn good? There was something bad that could happen…what was it? Her mind didn't work so good when hormones took the wheel. The sound of a door closing downstairs spurred her brain to reclaim the driver's seat.
Rachel: Oh no, Angela's home! Get off, get off! Fix your hair, where's my glasses?!
Derek: Your mom's room.
Rachel: Oh for f's sake! Get them, get them!
He bolted and came back, shoving the glasses in her face. She blinked as the world returned to glorious focus.
Rachel: Oh Azar, your shirt! Fix it, it's a mess!
Derek: You should see yourself…
Rachel: Oh damnation…
Rachel got a mirror and fixed herself the best she could just as her mother knocked opened the door. Ah, the complete lack of regard for her privacy. …wait, that pissed her off!
Angela: Rachel, I'm…who are you?
Think fast, think fast…um…oh…ah!
Rachel: This is Derek. The teacher wants me to tutor him a little for extra credit. He's having difficulty in Algebra.
Angela: Ah, I see. Um…hello, Derek. I'm Angela.
Gee, notice how she didn't mention that she was Rachel's mother. Derek put on his most pleasant face and nodded.
Derek: Nice to meet you, Ms. Roth.
Angela: Um…if you're tutoring, where are the books?
Rachel: Well…um…
Derek: We were taking a quick break. You can only cram so much information in your head in one sitting, yeah?
Angela: Ah, all work and no play, etc, etc. I suppose you'll be staying for dinner?
Derek: Ah, I couldn't impose like that…
Angela: Nonsense. Rachel doesn't have any friends and this is the first time somebody actually came home with her. Something should be done in celebration.
Rachel: Angela!
Angela ignored her outraged cry and departed. Rachel grumbled before turning to Derek.
Rachel: What the hell was that?
Derek: You think I don't know how to be pleasant?
Rachel: Well, let's see…um…no. No, I don't.
Derek: Well, I do. It's just not my nature to be pleasant. It's not your nature to be happy go lucky, but you can fake it for a few minutes, can't you?
Rachel: …maybe one minute…
Derek: See? Come on, I've surprised you with that sort of thing before. Knowing when to act against my nature is what keeps me from doing something…less then legal.
Rachel tilted her head.
Rachel: Less the legal?
Derek: …you really don't want to know. It would prevent you from sleeping at night.
…now she wanted to know even more…
Rehab Clinic
Okay…oooookay. Kori was running out of ideas. Dropping subtle hints to his past wasn't working. The name "Slade" wasn't working. NOTHING WAS WORKING!
Richard: …you know, you've been acting really weird this whole time. Maybe YOU need to check into rehab.
Not to mention he had been saying such cruel cynical things throughout her attempts. Once again, Kori was being pushed to her limit. This human body wasn't agreeing with her mentality for some reason. Probably because the reward for being happy (flight) was absent. Oh! She just got an idea!
Kori: Hey, Richard…ever been out of the country before?
Richard: …went to England once. It's a lot like here but smells different…and people are thinner…but with worse teeth.
Kori: You can't be best at everything…but do you know where I always wanted to go? I always wanted to see Tokyo.
Ha ha! And now you see the cleverness of her plan! Surely the mention of Tokyo will trigger his memories! BRILLIANT! OH HO HO HO HO HO!
Richard: Why?
Ho…ho…uh oh. Why? Um…think fast…come on…
Kori: Um…to see the Great Wall?
Richard: …that's CHINA.
…son…of…a…BITCH! She couldn't take it anymore!
Kori: Aaaah…crandenblat!
She covered her mouth. Now THAT was a slip! She waited for the puzzled and questioning remark from Richard. Instead he shook his head.
Richard: S…Star?
Kori squealed with delight and hugged him tightly.
Richard: Oh man, Star, I'm sorry for being such an ass…
Kori: Do not speak of it. That was not you. THIS is not you.
She gestured toward his wheelchair.
Kori: Let us concentrate on returning to our world.
Richard: …yeah, alright. That's a good idea. Who else remembers?
Kori: Originally it was but myself, Shade and Raven. Later we were able to trigger Beast Boy's memories, prompting us to attempt to restore Cyborg and yourself in a similar manner. Now only Cyborg remains…thought Terra is still missing. When I last spoke to her, Raven planning on hacking the school records to locate her.
Richard nodded, thinking.
Richard: I think I understand what's going on…but we need to snap Cyborg out of it first.
Kori beamed and nodded.
Kori: Of course! Gar shall do this as soon as possible! Um…would you like me to wheel you home?
Richard: I can do it myself, Kori. I'm not helpless.
…much better.
Rachel's House
Rachel bit her lip as she watched Derek leave. He was putting on a strong face, but she didn't need her empathic powers to know he was scared crapless. Nothing left to do but hope for the best. …she wasn't going to see him in school the next day, so hoping was all she had.
Angela: What a polite boy. A little roughed up, but I guess that's what happens these days.
Rachel regarded her mother, trying to think of how to respond to that. Finally she shrugged.
Rachel: He gets a bad rap at school, but he's really not a bad person…just troubled.
Angela: Is that why you were making out with him?
Rachel: Wh…what?
Angela laughed and shook her head.
Angela: Rachel, I know it's hard to believe, but I was young once. I know the signs. …just watch yourself. Here.
Please don't give her condoms, please don't give her condoms, please don't…what the…?
Rachel: …is this a can of mace?
Angela: He SEEMS like a nice boy…but you can never be too sure. I'd give you a taser too, but I doubt those are allowed in school. And if your school work starts to fail, you're kicking him to the curb. Understand?
Rachel: Yes, Angela. …thank you.
Although she couldn't be sure, Rachel had the feeling this was the most "motherly" Angela had been to her in a long time.
Rachel: …I'm going to bed now. Good night.
Dayton Manor: Gar's Room
Gar sighed as he laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. Mento…er…Steve had shown up and hadn't said more then two words to him. Jeez, were all of them unloved or ignored? Or both? …did he mention he missed Terra? …because he missed Terra. The girl may have suffered from abandonment issues causing her to become very…physical (and I'm not talking about violence) in a relationship (one would think he'd like that, but there are limits to how much a guy can take, yeah?), but she was beautiful, laughed at his jokes, and had a similar mindset about many of life's pleasures (pranks, television, movies, and video games). Not the most developed girl…and for some reason despite her voracious appetite, she couldn't put on a pound…but when you're green of skin, you look past physical issues. …he hoped she was okay, wherever she was. But now the more important question…how was he going to get Victor to snap out of it? More importantly, how was he going to do it without getting killed? Hmm…grinning, Gar snapped his fingers. He knew what to do. He knew EXACTLY what to do! Hmm…he'd need to pack his lunch for this.
END PART FIVE