"How are you feeling, Padfoot?" Moony hovered over me. It was later in the evening and I figured Lily and Prongs weren't planning on coming.
"Let's see," I began, "I'm at Saint Mungo's again for the second time in a week because I – being the brilliant person I so obviously am – managed to Splinch and make a giant, crater-like hole in my back. So, I guess I'm just perfectly wonderful – never better!" Although I ended my sentence jokingly, a scowl plastered itself on my face, and I folded my arms across my chest crossly.
"Splinching can happen to anyone. You shouldn't be so harsh on yourself." Moony placed a comforting hand on my arm, but I moodily yanked away.
"Did it ever happen to you? Or anyone you know, for that matter? Merlin's beard, even Wormtail never Splinched!"
"Hey!" Wormtail lifted his paws off of his head and raised it up in our general direction, finally speaking from his curled-up spot in the corner. He had been awfully quiet, but of course, he perked up at the mention of his name. Then again, I had insulted him.
"You managed an Animagus form in Fifth year. Anyone who can do that clearly isn't an idiot. So you Splinched – just don't let it happen again. No one can blame you for it."
"Always the voice of reason and logic, aren't you, Moony?" I huffed before continuing to sulk. Not only had I completely destroyed my ego, but Prongs hadn't even been there when I had woken up. Perhaps it was too much to ask, but could he not seem concerned just once? I knew it was greedy of me to think, but I couldn't help but be disappointed.
Silence filled the room and Peter got up suddenly. "I'm going home. I'm hungry."
"'Course you are," I muttered. Wormtail turned scarlet.
"Sirius!" Remus reprimanded.
"Right, of course, I'm sorry. Your best mate's dying in a hospital bed, but go right ahead home to eat when your stomach growls."
"You're not dying," Wormtail said in a hushed tone at the same time as Moony repeated my name in an annoyingly motherly fashion.
"Okay, okay, I'm not being serious." I grinned at the pun on my name, while Remus only rolled his eyes. Peter seemed – naturally – oblivious. And he slugged out of the room. More silence followed. It was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. Moony was the first to break it.
"Sirius, what's going on between you and James?" His voice was serious and almost business-like. The only thing I could do was feign that I was clueless. And this was exactly what I did.
"I have no idea what you're talking about. Prongs and I are perfectly alright." So it was an obvious lie – not my problem.
"Don't play the idiot. I know you're not stupid."
"What a compliment! 'I know you're not stupid.' I'll have to disappoint you, though. I really have no clue what you're talking about." My voice recently seemed to have adopted a cold indifference about it. But despite all of this, I refused to look him in the eye merely because I couldn't. For a moment Remus didn't say anything. I thought he was fed up with me when suddenly –
"I didn't want to bring this up, but obviously it's necessary." He surprisingly sounded exhausted. "Sirius, no matter how much you want to, James will never fancy you. He has and he'll always have Lily. You're his best mate, but nothing else." Those words were like the tormenting words of a nightmare, and with no current shell to burry myself inside, the full impact of what he said hit me.
"You don't understand," I moaned, fat tears already escaping. There was no way I could explain what had happened between us. It wasn't my story to tell. What hurt the most, however, wasn't any of this. What hurt the most was that everything he said made perfect sense.
"James was always witty and rebellious. I guess I can see how you'd find him – erm – attractive, but you need to let go. Lily loves him and he loves her back. And even if that wasn't true, it's too late. It's not just that they're married, Sirius. They're having a kid." Dumbly, I nodded.
"How long have you known?" I croaked out.
"Since the day Lily and James started going out. I've never seen you so jealous." The conversation had worn out and I was left feeling small, insignificant, and utterly tired. All I could manage was a wobble of the head and a meek 'oh'. "You're tired. I'll leave. Just give some thought to what I said."
When I woke up the next morning, I found myself obsessing over my dreams. They had been filled with traces of what Moony had warned me about yesterday. I had found out that James had never loved me and that everything that had ever happened between us was either a lie or a fragment of my overactive imagination. Upon my trying to explain my feelings to him, Prongs laughed cruelly, announcing that the only person he could ever love was Lily. Lily then proceeded out, her face beautifully similar to a Veela's and her steps as graceful as if she was balancing on a cloud. There was eeriness to her beauty, and soon I found out that James was under a spell and I helpless to tell him. In a desperate attempt to, Lily had sent the killing curse my way. I had woken up a second before the green jet of light had hit my chest.
A Healer peaked her head into the room and I emptily gazed up at her. "Mr. Black, you have visitors."
"Let 'em in." Whoever it was – probably Moony – their presence would be much better than being alone. What I foolishly didn't expect was for Lily to come in with Padfoot, hand-in-hand. "I guess I should thank you for saving my life." My eyes gazed abashed at my clasped hands.
"I don't think James would ever forgive me if I didn't," she said with a smile and there was a caring glance at her husband at the end. I looked up to find James' penetrating eyes boring down at me with concern. No one said anything else for the time being.
"I guess I also owe you an apology." As if rehearsed, my eyes became slightly watery again and my voice overflowed with a need to be forgiven. It was something necessary to my survival.
"You guess…" Letting out an annoyed, impatient sigh, Lily rolled her eyes.
"Lils, be nice. Apology accepted." He seemed to perk up a bit, and even gave me a lopsided flicker of a grin. "So, how did you manage to get Splinched?" There was a slightly amused chuckle.
"It's not funny, Jamsie! He could have died had the Healer taken moments longer. I didn't see you laughing when he lay drenched in blood." What kind of a terrible nickname was Jamsie? While Prongs blanched and Lily glared at him, I gagged at the name. Unfortunately, Lily caught me gagging. "I didn't know you were disgusted by blood." She sounded curious.
"Erm, yeah," I agreed, not knowing what other excuse to use. Prongs' expression turned to an amused smirk.
"Well, we just wanted to make sure you were okay. Jamsie was especially worried." He silently laughed as my eyes darkened again. "We have a meeting with Dumbledore, so we'll have to be off."
A/N: I'm sorry if this chapter bored you. I tried to include bits and pieces of humor. I felt like I needed some of Peter, but also, I can't have you hanging on edge about them fighting. Poor Siri, I'd hate getting Splinched (Captain Obvious to the rescue!). Rate and Review…it makes your bones stronger (not really).