I'm having difficulty giving Donna speaking roles, so I'll probably do a bit between her and the Ducklings (Who haven't said anything at all since the first chapter) later on. Also, I think House has a gameboy, but they're a bit old so it might be something different in the show but here it's a gameboy.

Disclaimer: I do not own either Doctor Who or House; if I did I'd buy myself a decent keyboard.

'I can explain.' Mr. Smith said.

'Oh, really? This should be good. Before you start though.' House walked over to the exam room door and locked the door. 'Now, you can tell me all about any illegal government experiments without me worrying about Cuddy checking up on me.'

House pinned Mr. Smith against the wall with his cane. 'The only creature on Earth that naturally has more than one heart is the squid, but unless squid have sprouted two legs and learned to speak with British accents in the time I've been asleep, something tells me you aren't natural.'

Mr. Smith put his hands in his pockets. 'I am natural! Just not naturally from here. The truth is, I'm an alien.' House jabbed him with the cane.

'Hey, keep your hands out of you're pockets, 'Mr. Smith'. Like I said before, I refuse to lose anymore blood. For all I know you've got a hand grenade in there.' Mr. Smith raised his hands obligingly, but looked at House in bewilderment.

'Were you listening to me? I just told you I'm an alien. You should be either rolling around on the ground laughing or gibbering senselessly in a corner.'

'You gave me a plausible answer under the circumstances, one that I had come up with myself as it happens.' House paused. 'Maybe I should stop listening to Chase. Not that I do much of that anyway, but if I start believing that meeting an alien with two hearts and an accent worse than his in the clinic is plausible, I either need to stop listening to him or fire him for switching my meds.'

'Who's Chase?'

'No one important. Anyway, what about Miss Doe then?' He turned his head to look at Donna. 'I'm assuming you're normal, because Squidward here made no objection to using a stethoscope on you.'

Until now Donna had been standing in the foreground watching the scene develop, like she normally did when the doctor met megalomaniacs. Although, House didn't strike her as a megalomaniac, but she supposed he didn't have to be, he just had to measure more than an eight on the Donna Noble Insanity scale, starting with general run of the mill mad men like optimists and volunteers, up to the 'Here's Johnny, I'll blow up Mars, Let's go into politics' type of lunatics.

'Yeah, I'm human, and my name's Donna Noble. He's the Doctor.' House looked at The Doctor again.

'The Doctor? This just keeps getting better and better. A doctor of what, exactly?'

The Doctor shrugged, which looks very odd if you do it with your hands in the air. 'Of everything.' he said simply.

'Right. Of course.' House let his cane fall to his side and started pacing.

'Why are you here?' asked House without stopping his pacing or even looking at him.

'There's a strange energy reading coming from here, something so strong it threw my ship of course. And, seeing as the last people to do that were a bunch of bloodthirsty reality TV producers, I thought I should take a look.' explained the Doctor, in an off hand voice. 'I don't suppose you've seen anything strange lately have you?'

'Nope, everything completely and utterly normal. Though, round here, that might be even stranger than what you're looking for.'

'It can't be that bad. It's just a hospital.'

'Right, and Atlantis is just lost.'

'I did not lose it; I just forgot where I put it.'

House stopped and listened intently. He could here the click click all the way down the hall thanks to his well trained ears.

'Cuddy's coming. She's bound to check on me so, you' He pointed with his cane to the Doctor. 'Take your shirt off.'

'What? Why?'

'Well I could ask Jane but I don't want to get slapped.'

'My name's Donna.'

'Whatever.'

The click click stopped right outside the door and Cuddy tried the door. When she found it was locked she called out 'House! I know you're in there! If you don't open this door right now I'll throw your game boy off the roof!' House made sure the doctor had his shirt off and opened the door a crack and stuck his head out.

'Yes Doctor Cuddy?' said House.

'What are you doing?'

'Nothing.' In that voice that means that out of all the trillions of things you could have been doing in a locked room, nothing is definitely not one of them.

'House let me in.'

'I can't Cuddy. You see the patient I have in here suffers from Gynophobia so badly, just having his shirt off in front of people is enough to make him have a panic attack. And I don't like it when people pass out in front of me; it does terrible things to my self esteem.'

'Yeah right House, whatever you broke in there I'm sure the hospital can replace. Move it.'

'No can do. Do you have any idea how much coaxing his friend had to do just to take his jacket off in front of me?'

Cuddy held up his gameboy. 'Let me in, or the kid with the broken leg in the ER gets a new toy.'

House made a grab for it, but Cuddy pulled it out of his reach. House gave her a mock hurt expression. 'You wouldn't do something so horrible to me for just tying to act like a conscientious doctor for a change?'

Cuddy smiled sweetly. 'House, both of us know you wouldn't know the meaning of the word conscientious if Wilson hadn't bought you that dictionary for your birthday, now, let me in or you'll never see Mario or Sonic again.'

House took an exasperated sigh of defeat, and opened the door.

This was the cue for The Doctor to scream in an uncharacteristically high voice and desperately try to hide behind Donna. Internally, House groaned. For an alien who constantly had to avoid detection, the guy was a terrible actor.

Fortunately, Cuddy didn't notice the over-acting. 'Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't realise-'

'Fine, don't worry just...' Donna made a shooing gesture with her hand Cuddy nodded and passed House, who looked both innocent and demonically happy at the same time. 'We'll talk later.' she whispered as she left.

House closed the door with a flourish behind her, and turned round to look at the Doctor (who was putting his shirt on with an astonishingly red face) and Donna (Who was looking like she was trying desperately not to laugh). House clapped his hands together.

'Well, that was fun. Now what?'

More will happen next chapter. I just happen to be very thorough.