Dean hadn't been doing well.

Sam knew that between his insomnia, his time as a demon, the Mark, it had been a rough couple of months for Dean. Dean was emotionally drained, and he had every reason to be. Sam knew without doubt that Dean didn't want to talk about himself with Sam not because he didn't trust Sam but he just didn't know how to tell Sam. Loving Sam, trusting him, protecting him, those were emotions Dean would allow out and show to Sam every day, but feeling about his own inner self, they took work. Sam understood this. And he knew Dean would eventually tell Sam, but in his own time.

But the hunt just pushed him over the edge.

It was supposed to be simple. Just a lone werewolf. They thought it wouldn't even take a day to finish up. It was a werewolf had made its way to a small town and broken into a family's home, mom, dad, and two sons. At first it looked like the family had been lucky, no one was hurt, or at least, it was what they had said. Sam and Dean had found and killed the wolf before they figured out the wolf had fresh blood on him coated on its teeth but no one had come out with being attacked.

It was a day later before they put the pieces together. The older son had been bitten, but hadn't told anyone.

Sam and Dean did not find out until it was too late. They had gotten back to the house only to find the family lifeless and their son currently in his bloodied wolf form. Sam was frozen, so distraught in coming back too late he didn't have enough time to see Dean approached and shot the boy in the chest, his face expressionless.

With the mess of the bodies and the torn up house, the only way to hide the werewolf attack was to burn the house. Dean told Sam he would do it, not taking no for an answer.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked his brother later, after the house was destroyed and the sirens were within earshot of them.

Dean said nothing at first, his eye fixed on the road before he finally drawled out "Just a hunt Sam. I'm fine."

And if that wasn't Dean Code for "I am hiding my emotions to protect you so good luck getting them out" Sam didn't know what was. Sam reached out his hand to grab his brother's. Dean squeezed it reassuringly but it was clear he was only doing so to make Sam feel better.

When they pulled into the driveway of the motel they were staying at, Sam turned to talk to his brother but Dean had already rushed out, slamming his Baby's door behind him. Sam ran out of the car rush to his brother's side, and together they walked in sync, just as they have always done.

"Gonna take a shower." Dean muttered and was gone before Sam could say a word. Sam wanted nothing more than to grab Dean by the arm and slap him upside the head, then quickly pull him into a bear hug, but he knew Dean needed space after a hunt like this, and Sam would give it to him, but he was not going to let Dean's unnecessary and misplaced guilt over not saving this family hurt Dean. He couldn't and wouldn't let it happen.

Dean stepped out of the bathroom a half hour later, fully clothed and to anyone else, they would think that there was nothing unusual with Dean's demeanor. Anyone, except Dean's brother.

"Hey." Sam said, looking up from his laptop. "You hungry?"

Dean shrugged then jerked his head up in an unenthused "sure", and turned his back to Sam, reaching for a cup in the cabinet. This just made Sam suddenly get up from his position. Placing his hands on either side of Dean's shoulder, he forcefully pulled him into an embrace.

Dean stiffened, but only for a moment. Returning the hug, Dean guided Sam's head to place him on his collarbone, running is fingers through Sam's unruly hair. Sam resisted a sign of content, clutching the fabric of Dean's shirt.

"I'm fine Sammy." Dean assured, pulling away. Patting the nape of Sam's neck, Dean gave a sall smile and returned to his earlier task.

No. This was too similar to before. Before when he didn't see through Dean's lies, when the both of them had missed the subtle signs of the other's suffering, not wanting to hurt or worry the other. No he wouldn't let that happened, not again, and not to Dean.

"It was not your fault." Sam said bluntly, surprising himself and Dean. "There was nothing you could do. If you are going to blame anyone blame me!" Dean scoffed at that. Clearly Sam wasn't the one Dean was blaming. "I was the one who insisted that the hunt was over, I was the one-"

Dean stared at his little brother with an almost disgusted look, not at Sam, but at himself.

"I should have been there faster!" Dean planned on denials or jokes, something he would have used to distract Sam, but he would not have Sam be feeling this weight, he didn't deserve this. "I should have figured out why my gut was telling me this hunt was not over! This was my fault, Sammy! Mine and mine alone!"

"Why?!" Sam took a step closer which only made Dean take a step back, not in fear of Sam, but in fear of showing emotion. Things were different between the brothers, yes, but Dean couldn't allow Sam to see his guilt. Please Sammy, please wait until tomorrow, when I can hide it better, please, please Samy don't see how badly I've been failing all these people- Sam took a deep breath, forcing himself not to have Dean think he was gaining up one him. "Look," Sam sighed. "Please just-just listen to me: There was nothing we could have done for them. Okay? Dean please, don't blame yourself, please-"

"Their son killed them." Dean's voice quivered but it didn't break. "Their oldest kid, the one who was supposed to protect them got them all killed. He failed them, and it just is- I fail everyone, always, I get them killed or I fail them." Dean was fighting to get the words out, to tell Sam but his body was betraying him, his eye started to sting with tears and his voice wouldn't hold steady. "He got them all killed." He whispered before turning his back to Sam, roughly rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hand before he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Dean wanted to push Sam away, make him not see Dean in this state, wanted desperately for Sam to see him as strong as he was when he was Sam's hero. There was no way Sam would think that anymore. How could he be Sam's hero, this weak, pathetic, worthless man?

Sam gently rubbed his thumb in a soothing circle, guessing what Dean was thinking, and Sam wanted nothing more than to prove him how wrong he was.

"Dean…" Sam started, looking at the back of Dean's head. "You are my brother, my best friend. I don't ever want to you think that I want you to take this blame, to be in pain." Dean turned around, drinking in every word of what Sam was saying. Sam continued. "I would never hurt you, I would die first."

"Sam…" Dean couldn't look away, didn't push back the hands on both of his shoulders, his eyes fixed on his brothers face. Dean's own arms were wrapped around himself in a protective matter, like he was afraid of falling apart.

"I don't want to fail you, okay?" He whispered, looking down at his feet, not wanting to see Sam's face change with pity or disgust at Dean's vulnerability. "I'm so…so scared that I will mess up and leave you alone or worse, get you killed." His eyes rose up, his green eyes full of love and devotion for Sam, always for Sam. "I don't want to leave you."

Sam and Dean loved each other, there was no denying it; they just don't have to say it out loud for the other to know. Sam needed Dean to know that there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for his brother, the same goes for Dean.

"You're not going anywhere Dean." Determination, devotion, and love laced through Sam's voice. "Not without me. I promise." He tighten his hold on Dean's shoulder, never broke eye contact with him, showing him that he was telling the truth. Dean hung his head down, hiding his face.

Sam heard the shuttering sob escape Dean's throat. It was a heartbreaking, agonizing real sob that made Sam's chest tighten, but he refused to allow himself show emotions until he heard the second sob. And when it did come, it tore him to the core. Slowly, Dean uncurled himself from his position of practically holding himself together, and slowly leaned towards Sam and rest upon his chest.

Their arms wrapped around each other as Dean pressed himself more fully to Sam. Sam tilted his own head to the side, allowing Dean to rest his forehead against Sam collarbone. Another sob broke its way through Dean and soon his sobs were rushed and painful, as if all the tears he had refused to shed were all coming now. Both brothers ended up pulling each other closer until they were curled into a tight embrace, Sam's chin resting on Dean's head; hands grasping and held onto each other's shirts like a life-line.

"It's okay. It's okay." Sam repeated, uncaring that his own tears were falling upon Dean as he gently rocked their bodies.

Sam felt almost dizzy, with Dean absolute trust in him, his trust that allowed to him show "weakness" to the one person he wanted to keep thinking he was unbreakable. Dean still clung to Sam, his sobs died down and his eyes were dropping shut against his will. Sam pushed back Dean's hair out of his face. He pressed a tender, light kiss on his brother's forehead.

Sam smoothed Dean's hair back gently while murmuring "It is okay Dean. I'll be here when you wake up. Promise. I'll never leave you. I'm not letting you go." I can't let you go anymore then you could let me go.

With Sam's permission, Sam could see the complete faith in his big brother's eyes. He watched as Dean lost the battle of the eyelids and leaned fully into Sam, his fingers still holding Sam. Sam chin resting against Dean's head while Dean's forehead rested on Sam's collarbone.

"Thank you Sammy…" Dean whispered.

Their bond was strong, it was resilient even before they choose to try their Acting Like Soulmates, but because of that choice, their connection had become stronger. Because this was a stepping stone to fully understanding the pure love and understanding they had. Their connection, their bond, it wasn't about strength, it was about their faith in each other. Sam smile into Dean's hair.

And he knew they would be alright.