Angel: Wow, sorry this took so long. I had a really hard time writing this chapter. It took me more than a week to finally make up my mind on what I wanted to see happen in this chapter, then when I finally sat down to write it I got through a very difficult part to and decided I loved it my electric went out, sadly the last time I stopped to save it was the end of the section before that... Have you ever written something you thought was awesome then couldn't recreate it no matter how hard you tried? Well that's what happened. So now I'm okay with it, but it's not the original and it doesn't feel the same. Then when I was almost done with this I got the new Guitar Hero game, so I spent like a week doing nothing but working and playing that :)

Izzy: Stop making excuses and get on with it!

Angel: Shouldn't you be going to work, or better yet, apartment hunting?

Izzy: Ouch! Oh and she put some igpay atinlay in here so good luck! LOL

Angel: Seriously, it's one line and I had to do it because almost the exact thing happened with my niece.

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters in this story, they belong to one Ms. Rumiko Takahashi. If I owned them Kagome would ditch that loser Inuyasha and get with a real man, er, demon! Oh and Sesshoumaru would wear almost nothing so I could stare.

Thinking of You

by -Wick3d Ang3l-

Chapter Six: The Visit

Rin wiggled excitedly in her seat as she waited for her school day to end. That morning her mom had told her that they were going to visit Grandpa Toga. She always loved visiting him because he loved playing and he always gave her candy. She was a little sad because mommy had told her Grandpa was sick, but she had colds before and she had seen her mommy get sick so she knew he would be okay.

"Rin, do you have the answer?" Mr. Hojo asked from the front of the class.

Rin blushed. "I'm sorry Mr. Hojo. I wasn't really paying attention..."

"Then you can stay during lunch and tell me what's so important that you can't focus on your studies."

Rin nodded. "Yes Mr. Hojo."

---

Kagome sighed as she watched the minutes tick by. Her stomach felt sick and started doing flips as it got closer and closer to time to leave. She still didn't know what she would do if Sesshoumaru was there. She hoped he would have enough courtesy to stay away from Rin and not confuse her further if he was just going to leave again. She shook her head as another thought entered. What if he wanted to come back? How would she react to that? Would she be able to tell him no, or would she bring him back and hope that things could someday go back to normal? She dropped her head to her desk with a thud, why did her life always have to be so complicated?

"Whoa, what's wrong with you today?" she heard someone ask.

She looked up to see her boss standing at the edge of her desk. "Ugh, Kaede, I can't even begin to tell you."

"Well, maybe you can tell me about this," Kaede replied dropping a news paper in front of her. On the front of the entertainment page was her picture with the headline "Higurashi knows 'What Hurts the Most.'"

"You have GOT to be kidding me..." She dropped her head to her desk with another thud. "Seriously, I give up. I just wanted to make a little extra money to help with the bills, I didn't want attention." Her heart sank as she skimmed through the article attached.

'Last night I think there were angels in Tokyo, or at least one. Anyone who was at the 'Royal Dream' to see Kagome Higurashi knows exactly what I mean. This was not her first performance and I'm sure I'm not the only one praying it was not her last. The audience can feel her heartbreak through her choice of song and beautiful, almost chilling, voice.

For those of you who don't know or don't remember Ms. Higurashi has felt more than her fair share of heartache. Just two years ago she was engaged to be married to Toga Takahashi's eldest son Sesshoumaru, who has since seemingly vanished from the face of the earth. Now she is a single mother, left to care for the couples daughter, working two jobs to pay the bills.

On the note of the Takahashi family, it seems they are having their own share of troubles as head of the family, Toga Takahashi, fights an unknown illness. Reports say he won't make it to the end of the month and with his eldest son and heir, Sesshoumaru, missing nobody knows where the family is headed.'

She sighed. Just what she wanted, her face plastered all over and her family's business becoming the talk of the town.

"Why didn't you tell me you were working at a bar?"

"I was ashamed. I didn't want you to think less of me."

"Oh please child! I have the utmost respect for a woman who does whatever she can to provide for her child. Actually we were all talking about going up to see you perform. When is the next time you get to go up on stage?"

"The next time I work, so Thursday."

"I'll be there!"

---

"Now Rin, you know you are my best student, but I cannot allow you to get away with not paying attention," Hojo said as he looked across his desk at the little girl. "I understand you have a lot on your mind, your mother told me about your grandfather."

Rin nodded. "We are going to see him today. Mommy says he's really sick and that the doctors are working really hard to make him better."

"And how is your mom? She seemed upset yesterday."

"You saw my mommy yesterday?" Rin sounded confused. Her mom had said she had a meeting, but never said it was with Mr. Hojo.

Hojo cursed in his head, apparently Kagome hadn't told Rin about their relationship. "Yes, we had a, um, meeting, about your grandfather being sick and the possibility of you missing school," he rushed out, thinking on his feet.

Rin smiled. "Oh, well you don't have to worry about me missing school! Grandpa Toga will be just fine. Can I please be excused now?"

Hojo nodded. "Go on and enjoy the rest of your lunch. Just please remember to stay focused in class." He leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. Things had been going so great with Kagome and he couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't told Rin they were dating yet.

---

"Rin, settle down," Kagome said sternly as she pulled the dress over her daughter's head.

"I can't help it momma! I just can't wait to see grandpa!" Rin squealed as she wiggled into her new dress. Her mom had let her pick it out on the way home from school and she couldn't wait to show it to Grandpa Toga and Uncle Inuyasha.

"Now honey, you have to remember that grandpa is very sick so he might look a little different."

"I know mommy and I promise I'll be good."

Kagome smiled and ruffled Rin's hair. "That's my girl!" Once she finished getting Rin dressed and ready she grabbed her own new dress out of the closet.

After she finished zipping it up she looked at herself in the full length mirror. The pale material hung loosely in her small frame, giving the illusion that she had at least a little weight to her. She opened her jewelry box and lovingly pulled out the thin silver chain with the large pink pearl attached. It had been a gift from Toga when she and Sesshoumaru had been told they were allowed to mate. She never wore it because she thought it seemed a bit gaudy, but for this occasion she thought it was only necessary.

She took a deep breath as she took one last glance in the mirror. Her hair was pulled back and twisted into a bun with loose curls dangling around her face. The pearl sat just above her collarbone and seemed to give off an eerie glow. The sound of her door swinging open startled her and she looked over to see her daughter staring up at her.

"Mommy you look beautiful!" Rin exclaimed.

"Thank you honey," she replied then looked down at the dainty watch on her wrist. "We better go, Uncle Inuyasha will be waiting for us."

The drive to the family mansion seemed to take forever even though it was only a half-hour drive away. Rin hummed quietly while Kagome took deep breaths. It was taking all of her nerve not to turn and drive home as fast as she could. Just the idea that seeing Sesshoumaru was a possibility caused near panic for several reasons. The number one being that she wasn't sure how she would explain it to Rin, a close second would be that she didn't know how she would react. Half of her wanted him to come home with them, the other knew that even if he did things would never be the same and then there was the small part of her that wanted to kill him for the pain he caused her. She decided she would probably spontaneously combust.

Rin bounced excitedly in her seat as they pulled up to the gates that blocked their grounds from the rest of the world. A security guard took one look inside the car and nodded to the other man standing inside the shack. Seconds later the large gates swung open and she pulled slowly in. As she watched the gates close in her rearview mirror she knew it was too late to turn back now.

Her heart raced as she stopped the car in front of the house. There were several cars parked in front, some she knew, some she didn't. Rin practically leaped from the car as she switched off the ignition. She quickly climbed out and jogged after her daughter, grabbing her hand as they reached the stairs.

"Now Rin remember, you must be on your best behavior," she reminded the squirming child as they ascended the stairs.

"I know momma, I promise!"

Kagome took a deep breath as she pressed the doorbell. When the door opened a very confused looking servant stared at them. "Mrs. Takahashi... Please come in," she stuttered.

"It's Ms. Higurashi, and thank you." Her posture was perfect and she held a natural air of elegance that most people had to work hard to gain. A silence befell the main hall as she and Rin walked in and all the attention was turned to the estranged family member.

Her heart threatened to burst until Inuyasha appeared out of the crowd and bowed slightly before her. "I'm very glad you could make it Kagome," he said as he straightened up. One glare tossed toward the group caused them all to return to their previous conversations.

"Inuyasha I don't know if I can do this..." she whispered softly.

"You'll be fine. I've already told Father you would be here."

She nodded as he took her hand and lead her away from the main hall. Rin was silent as she held her mothers hand and followed behind the pair. The looks people gave her made her uneasy and she let go of the hand and grabbed the hem of her mothers dress instead.

"Kagome, e-hay is-ay to-nay ooking-lay ood-gay."

Rin stopped and put a hand on her hip. "Uncle Inuyasha, I'm not three! I know pig latin!"

Inuyasha couldn't help but crack a smile. She was almost a carbon copy of her mother attitude and all. He shrugged and kneeled down in front of her. "I guess I just forgot how grown up you are."

The little girl wrapped her small arms around his neck and squeezed. "I guess I can forgive you this one time."

He laughed as he picked her up. "You want to know a secret?" he asked. Rin nodded. "You're just as stubborn as your mommy," he whispered softly.

Kagome put a hand on her hip. "I seem to remember a hanyou who was even more stubborn than me!"

He thought for a moment then smiled. "Ya know, you're probably right about that. I guess we've both grown up a bit haven't we?"

She pouted and crossed her arms. "Speak for yourself, I'm a Toys-R-Us kid."

The look on Rin's face was priceless. She seemed so confused as she looked up at the two adults who smiled at each other then burst into laughter. "Go on in Rin, this is Grandpa's room. Your mom and I will be in shortly."

The little girl nodded and ran into the room. Kagome caught a glimpse of Toga lying in the bed, hooked to several machines. It broke her heart to see him so helpless. "He looks so... weak," she whispered as the door closed.

Inuyasha sighed. "The doctors are doing everything they can, but they don't think he's going to hold out much longer."

She wiped away a tear. "I just can't..." her voice cracked and she sobbed into her hands. Inuyasha wrapped his arms around her and she sobbed onto his shoulder. He rubbed soothing circles on her back and shushed quietly into her hair. After several minutes she backed away and wiped her tears. "Thanks."

He cracked a small smile. "You're welcome."

"I just can't believe all of this is going on. Toga is the strongest person I know and to see him like this... I guess it really makes me look at my own mortality." Inuyasha's ears drooped a bit at that phrase and Kagome didn't miss it. "What?"

His eyes were sad. "You haven't been taking care of yourself..."

"I know... It's just been so hard." Her eyes were distant and sad. "Do you remember my friend Eri?"

Inuyasha didn't remember all of their names, but he did remember that there were three girls she used to hang out with all the time in school.

"Well, I ran into her last month. She has two kids now, and another on the way, and while she talked about them I found that I wasn't happy for her, I was jealous. That should be me Inuyasha! We had it all and he just walked away from it," she lowered her voice to barely a whisper and looked down, "away from me."

Kagome," he started, but he didn't know what to say. "You should go inside."

She nodded. "Thanks for listening." She hugged him then opened the door to the room. The scene made a small smile cross her face. Rin sat beside Toga on the bed and toyed with his hair as she told him about her school. Toga's eyes shone and his smile couldn't be brighter. Everyone turned to look at her and the servants all filed out of the room quietly.

"Rin, why don't you go see what Uncle Inuyasha is doing?" he asked, his voice sounding worn.

The little girl hopped off the bed and nodded. "Okay! I'll make sure I come back and see you before we leave."

Kagome watched her daughter skip out of the room before turning back to her surrogate father with tears dimming her bright blue eyes.

"Now, now child, none of that," Toga said, waving her over to him and patting an empty spot on his bed.

"It's just not right, why can't the doctors do their job and make you better?" she sobbed.

"It's okay. I'm an old man Kagome, I've lived for almost a thousand years. I've seen a lot of things and I've accepted my passing."

"What will happen to the family, to the business?"

"Most of my assets will be passed to my sons, then there will be some to you and some to Rin."

"So..." she gulped, the question burning in her mind was now at the tip of her tongue. "So, does that mean Sesshoumaru will be here?"

"I won't lie to you, he will be here and he wants to see you."

Kagome turned away and wiped furiously at her tears. "He doesn't get to make those decisions anymore."

"He loves you and Rin. It's not my place to explain the circumstance of his leaving, but trust me when I tell you it wasn't his choice."

"He did have a choice. He could have told me why he was leaving, but he chose not to."

Toga growled and caused her to turn around. "You know I love you like my own pup, so you should expect me to tell you when you are acting like a child! If you honestly think Sesshoumaru would just leave his family behind with no reason then you apparently don't know him as well as I had hoped."

Kagome lowered her head in shame. "I know he would never just leave, but he could have told me what was going on."

"Did you ever think that maybe he thought he was doing the right thing by not telling you?"

"We were almost mates, he should have known he could trust me with anything."

"He thought you would be safer if you didn't know."

"Safe from what! Everyone keeps telling me that he's just trying to keep me safe! Maybe I would agree if I had even an idea of what was going on!"

Toga sat up and coughed. Kagome knelt at his side and looked at him with concern. "I'll be alright," he whispered through the coughs.

Kagome stood and covered him with a blanket. "You need some rest. I'll tell everyone you are not to be disturbed."

"Thank you."

Kagome bowed and stepped out of the room. The nurses and servants standing in the hall looked up at her then walked toward the door, but she blocked it. "Father wishes to be left alone. Anyone who sets foot in that room without good reason will have to deal with me."

They all nodded and dispersed. "That was pretty good, but I think you just scared them all half to death," she heard Inuyasha say from beside her.

She shrugged. "He needs to rest. If he needs help he knows how to get in touch with them. Besides if anything goes wrong the alarms on his machines will go off."

Inuyasha nodded. "Rin is playing with Kale and Kikyo is resting in the den. Would you like to come outside with me?"

She smiled. "I'd like that."

Inuyasha reached out a hand to her and they walked outside together. "So, what have you been up to lately?" he asked as they walked through the hedge maze.

"Work, work, take care of Rin, work... I think you get the drift."

"That's all? No friends or anything?"

"Well, of course I still hang out with Sango... that is if you count staying at her house and using her as a babysitter hanging out."

"How is she? Miroku said they haven't been spending much time together lately."

"Well, if he'd stop hitting on other women they wouldn't fight so much."

"That's probably true. Any other friends?"

"Not really..."

Inuyasha stopped and looked at he skeptically. "Now come on, I've known you long enough to know better. You're not telling me something."

"Well, there's this guy. He is Rin's teacher and he's really sweet, but I just don't see a relationship coming out of it. He seems to want one and I just can't do it."

Inuyasha frowned. "Please tell me that Sesshoumaru is not the only reason you aren't taking a chance with him."

"No, that's part of it, but also, I just don't feel any chemistry with him. When I spend time with him it's nothing like it was with Sesshoumaru, or even when I dated you."

They sat on a bench together in silence for a while. "Do ever think about what could have been?"

"Depends, what do you mean?"

"I mean..." he turned and looked at her. "You and I were a good couple, but I screwed that up. Sometimes I think about what our lives could have been like if I had never hurt you."

Kagome sighed. "I used to, right after Sesshoumaru left I wondered if I would have been better off staying with you, but you have a life with Kikyo and I knew it was selfish of me to think about taking that away."

He leaned back. "You're right. It would be selfish, but I can't help it sometimes. Especially since..." he drifted off and she turned to look at him.

"Since what?"

"I think she's cheating on me. I found a letter to her with no name on it talking about meeting somewhere. I left Kale with a sitter and followed her and she just disappeared into some office building."

"Maybe she's just looking for a job."

"You don't seriously believe that."

Kagome shrugged. "It's possible, two kids is a lot to handle, maybe she just wants to get away for a while."

"I don't love her..." he whispered. "I love you." Before she knew what was happening he grabbed her chin and their lips met.

She pushed away from him quickly. "Inuyasha, I will always love your brother and there is no way I can betray him like this."

"You said yourself you've been dating, what makes me so different?"

"Well for starters Hojo isn't married, we've never been in an unsuccessful relationship together, and he's not Sesshoumaru's brother."

Inuyasha growled. Right now the only thing he wanted to do was hurt her. "What makes you think he even still cares about you? He left you with no explanation, he didn't even tell you where he was going or how to get in touch with him if anything happened to Rin. He has probably moved on and has a whole new life while you sit here wasting away waiting for him to return. How do you know he didn't just leave because he wanted to?" He knew none of it was true, but he didn't care at that moment.

Kagome's hands clenched into fists at her sides. Her eyes burned with angry tears, but she refused to cry. She kept her eyes on the ground in front of her as she stood and started to walk away.

"He doesn't love you."

She stopped and turned quickly. The sound of her hand hitting his cheek echoed through the empty maze. Her eyes bore holes into him as they burned with a rage he had never seen before. "You bastard. Don't you ever say anything like that to me again. I love Sesshoumaru and I know that he loves me, even if I don't understand what's going on. I swear if you ever touch me again it will be the last thing you do."

Inuyasha held a hand to his cheek as he watched her walk away. It wasn't that it hurt him physically, he was a hanyou and she was just a human, but at the same time it was the most painful thing he had ever endured. No matter what happened between them he knew he could always rely on Kagome to be there for him and now... He had never seen her look so angry and hurt and it was his fault.

---

Kagome wiped furiously at her tears, but they were constantly replaced by new ones and she finally gave up. How could Inuyasha say something like that to her? He had always been brash, he always said things without thinking, but this time... She knew he was only speaking out of anger, but part of her had to wonder if some of what he said was true. What if Sesshoumaru had moved on and left her behind? What if he had a new family, a new woman, new kids? She was sure Inuyasha had to know at least a bit of what Sesshoumaru was doing so what if that was his way of breaking the news to her? She sat and stared at her hand, which still stung from hitting Inuyasha. She had always been a calm person, she always talked through her problems, and never had she been violent, but he knew just the right buttons to push. It felt like he had stuck his finger into an open wound and twisted.

The sound of footsteps caused her to look up. "Mind if I have a seat?" the man asked as he looked down at her.

Kagome didn't know his name, but she had seen him at the bar several times. He was always sitting in her section and always left her a very generous tip. She cleared her throat and scooted over. "Go ahead."

"Thanks." He took a seat beside her and looked over at her. "It's kind of intimidating to be sitting here beside you."

Kagome scoffed. "Trust me I'm far from intimidating."

"Not true, you're kind of a celebrity, not to mention you're in ties with one of the most successful families in the world."

She shook her head. "I'm just your average girl. I still put my skirt on one leg at time."

"That's scary, gorgeous, smart, funny, and down to earth. Not a common combination."

She sat up and looked the man over. "This hardly seems fair. You have me all figured out and I don't even know your name."

"Oh, how rude of me! I'm Naraku Onigumo, I'm a business associate of Toga's." Kagome imagined that the man's smile could charm a thousand women and his eyes held a certain danger to them.

He reached out a hand and she shook it. "It's nice to officially meet you Mr. Onigumo, but I'm afraid I must be going. It's getting late and my daughter has school in the morning."

He stood and helped her stand as well. "The pleasure was all mine. I look forward to your next performance."

A chill ran up and down her spine as he watched her walk away. Something about him didn't sit well with her, but she shrugged it off and kept walking.

---

Angel: Okay, I promise I will have the next one up in a week, two tops, no more distractions! Sesshoumaru will make an appearance in the next chapter. I'm still not sure if Kagome will run into him or not so I decided to hold off on that until next chapter so you can have this one now!