A/N: Okay, so a lot of you will be wondering why I have seemed to stumble off of the path that I presented in the first and second chapters after you read this chapter. To tell the truth, this story was only intentionally written for the first two chapters. It's taken on a life of its own as more people review and tell me what they like in the story and how excited they are about getting an update. I apologize for the long time between updates and want you all to know that after the 1st November, I shall hopefully be updating fortnightly. I have come up with several new ideas for stories and have their plots all set out. Indeed for HEUL I have plots for each chapter and know exactly what I want in a chapter. I'm planning on 10-15 chapters for this story, and in order for that I need to expand on some details I have glossed over in previous chapters. Re-reading what I have written I feel terribly sorry that I have put my readers through such abysmal writing. I have only used the basics of the previous chapter to fuel the next and going through my chapters they don't seem to be linked at all. Hopefully by writing this chapter out it explains Snape's attraction to Harry. Indeed, after reading several Harry/Snape stories I've managed to see that I have quite upset the norm for these stories. Many of you probably have questions regarding the characters and their actions. If this is the truth, please don't hesitate to send me a PM. I shall reply as soon as I possibly can.
For those of you out there that see this story as a cliche of Hermione and Draco, I feel the need to remind you all of the title of the story: "His Expected and Unintentional Lovers", it does not necessarily just refer to Harry. It does refer to Severus and Draco. Certainly, Severus never intended for Harry to become his lover, nor did Draco. And Draco didn't intend for Hermione to be his lover (if she will be). These characters have taken on a life of their own and I am merely a tool they use to express themselves.
On that note, this chapter will be told from the viewpoint of none other than Severus Snape. Also, there will be James/Severus slash in this chapter. Hopefully not too graphical. (Oh, it's also mostly told from Snape the younger's viewpoint.)
Snape was sitting in his private chambers, drinking the invigorating scotch that had been a present from one of the other Professor's for his birthday over the summer holidays. His mind was not on the piles of essays on his mahogany desk before him, but on a man with unruly black hair and unattractive glasses who thought he had ruled the school in their time.
James Potter had been a menace to Snape in their school years; but that didn't stop him from being a kind, compassionate and caring lover. Snape had always known he had a thing for other boys, and when James had stopped him from getting accosted by an older Slytherin, Snape owed James big time. It didn't help that although he thought James was a massive prat, he was a massive attractive prat. Instead of thanking James, Snape had stalked off partially horrified that he had even needed rescuing, and embarrassed knowing that James now knew one of Snape's largest secrets. Therefore, it was a surprise that night at dinner when no one even paid attention to him and no one commented on anything to do with the earlier situation. Even the Seventh year boy who had tried to get into Snape's pants didn't say anything. Startled, Snape had looked for the head of black bed-hair and had blushed when he saw James' blue eyes lock onto his black one's for several minutes. It had been mildly disconcerting and thoroughly horrifying to find out that he had a crush on the Gryffindor. Naturally he hadn't acted on it, but he was a bit nicer to James after the incident.
After the bathroom incident, the Marauders were more lenient on Snape then they had been in past years and for this Snape was grateful. Oh, he still hated the four boys that had made his life unbearable, but he could appreciate that their pranks weren't as dangerous as they once had been. More than once Snape had caught himself fantasizing about what would happen if it had of been James Potter who had accosted him in the bathroom instead of Vincent Crabbe. He sneered at himself and his fantasies. If any of the other Slytherin boys found out, he would be dead. Snape had grown accustomed to the feelings that overwhelmed him when the Gryffindor paid even the slightest amount of attention to him. If one sly smile was enough for Snape to stop breathing for several moments and a bright blush taint his features, he shuddered to know how he would react if he were under the full attention of Potter.
It was almost two months later when Severus ran into James by himself. Walking into the Prefects Bathroom on the fifth floor, he was startled to see that there were items of clothing spread around the swimming pool sized bath. Looking into the foamy water he couldn't see anyone, but on closer examination of the clothes, he went pale. There was only one male Gryffindor prefect and that was James Potter. Looking around fearfully, Snape hoped against hope that James wouldn't suddenly appear and turned on his heel, intent on fleeing the bathroom before anyone noticed he'd been in there. Why hadn't James locked the door? Hearing a splash of water behind him, Snape froze involuntarily. He cursed himself moments later as he heard a large gasp from behind him, but he refused to give into temptation and turn around.
"Snape." His guts knotted as he heard the Sixth-year boy utter his name. Turning around slowly, he kept his eyes downcast afraid of what he might see.
"Potter." He replied, feeling his lips curl in an instinctive sneer. Six years as a Slytherin had taught him how to behave like a Pureblood of the Dark, even if he wasn't one.
"What are you doing here?" James asked curiously. He's voice was kind and gentle, not at all what Snape had been expecting and his eyes flew up to capture the other boy's.
"I came for a bath. Obviously." Snape said in cool disdain. It didn't matter that his body was screaming with lust, nor that his eyes betrayed his emotions. Severus still had control over his voice.
Shockingly the remark didn't send the Gryffindor on the offensive as he'd been expecting. Instead James laughed; a sweet, joyous sound that sounded so beautiful to Severus he felt a rare smile tugging at his lips. Almost immediately he remembered his Slytherin heritage and all traces of amusement vanished from his face. Potter stopped laughing only to eye him curiously. If the thought that James was naked underneath the water entered Snape's mind, he was careful not to show it.
Gesturing to the large bath pool, James moved from the side. "There's room enough for the both of us in here." He said in a quiet voice. Severus almost pretended to act like he hadn't heard the Gryffindor, and if it wasn't for the fact that James locked eyes with him just then, he certainly would have.
Swallowing back against a lump that had formed in his throat, Snape could only stare as the Gryffindor slowly raised himself out of the water. As much as Snape would have loved to have his eyes look elsewhere, they were drawn to the well defined body in front of him. Snape felt his mouth go dry at the sight of a naked James Potter standing in front of him, looking like a black-haired Adonis. A blush tainted his cheeks as he noticed that he was aroused simply by staring at the man – it was obvious that this was no body of a boy, it belonged to a man.
Snape tried averting his eyes when it became obvious that he was staring, but no matter how hard he tried, his eyes were trained on the man in front of him. A sudden movement shook him out of his thoughts of James Potter lying beneath him on his bed in Slytherin as Snape took him; James had held his hand out to Snape and was beckoning him forwards. Snape found his body moving before his mind caught up with what was happening.
A hand snaked out and grabbed Severus' tie, yanking him forward harshly and his lips were crushed by another's as he fought to regain his footing. James had no problem taking the control of the kiss and deepening it, keeping Snape unbalanced all the while. Finally when the need for air grew too much, the boys parted panting as they gobbled up much needed air. Snape was dazed by this sudden turn of events. He knew he was probably nothing more than a quick shag to the Gryffindor – or at least that's all he would be if his readings of the kiss was true.
James pulled away from Snape, grinning at him as he intertwined their fingers, tugging the boy to the bath. Snape glanced down at himself and back up towards James, he was still fully clothed.
"Potter, stop." Snape said pulling on his hand to extract it. Now that Snape could breathe again, the fog in his brain seemed to dissipate. "Is this just another of your tricks? The Marauders wanting to pull the biggest prank on the slimy Slytherin git?" He demanded, hoping that it wasn't true. Hope is for Gryffindors, his mind told him, you're a Slytherin.
"I wouldn't allow them to do anything like this." James said fiercely, some of his Gryffindor bravado leaving him. While he was talking, he'd moved closer to Severus, close enough to reach out and undo his cloak. "It's up to you now Severus, whether you want to stay, or you want to go. I know what my body wants, but I won't force you."
Snape looked down and his cheeks went bright red. Somehow he'd forgotten the Gryffindor was naked. But seeing his erect cock jutting proudly from his tanned body, Snape felt all reservations leave him. He couldn't speak so he used his hands to start taking off his school clothes, grinning shyly at the Gryffindor. James let out a relieved laugh and between the two of them, Snape was naked in moments. When the last garment hit the floor, James crushed his body against Severus, kissing him intensely and letting his hands roam over the other boys body.
Snape let out a moan when James plundered his mouth, his own hands roaming the body of the man he liked. Any thoughts about leaving were pushed away forcibly as Snape enjoyed this moment that he'd been fantasizing about for months. The need for air came and they had to break the kiss. Snape's lips felt swollen and he licked them, the taste of James on them. He blushed as he realized that his own member was erect, but was pleased to notice that although he was thicker than James, they were about the same length.
"Coming?" James' voice was deep and husky, sending shivers down Snape's spine. Looking up Snape saw that James was at the edge of the bath holding out his hand.
"Not yet, but I can assure you, we both will be soon." Snape said winking at the boy as he placed his hand in James'. James laughed at the comment squeezing Snape's hand.
The two boys entered the bath and spent hours in there, learning each others body. No one interrupted them, no one came looking for them. Snape had cast a powerful locking charm on the door before they started their exploration and James had rewarded him with a kiss. Snape could feel himself becoming addicted to those kisses.
Snape and James stayed at Hogwarts over the Christmas holidays sneaking into each others dormitories and exploring the castle. James knew where there were hidden staircases and shortcuts that Snape didn't even know existed. He and James discovered an old Professor's quarters on the 8th floor of the castle and spent plenty of their time in the bedroom. It was decorated in both the gold of Gryffindor and silver of Slytherin. They had been excited when they first found it, it seemed like it had been created specifically for them.
The holidays went faster than they'd have liked, and they spent their last night of freedom intertwined with one another on the bed that was in 'their' quarters. Snape had his face buried in the crook of James' neck and he sighed contentedly as James played with his hair.
"Is it really our last night together?" Snape murmured against the skin at his lips. He was feeling despondent that they're time together had come to an end.
"I'm afraid it has to be. I wish it could be any other way." James responded his hand stilling on Snape's hair. "It's not like we can tell everything about our relationship now is it?"
Snape grinned at that question. "Well we could, but I have a feeling that we wouldn't be able to get away with it." He sighed wriggling out from James' embrace. "You're going to pursue her aren't you?" he asked, eyes downcast.
"I have to. Everyone expects me to. Just like they expect you to join Voldemort." James said sitting up, the sheets riding low on his hips. He leant closer to Snape. "I want you to know, these past six weeks have been the most amazing six weeks of my life. I won't forget that Sev." James put his fingers under Snape's chin, tilting his head up so he could catch the other man's lips in a fiery kiss.
Snape poured all his feelings for James Potter into that one last kiss. There would be no way that they could meet in secret again after these holidays. The rest of the Marauders would be back and James would be expected to actively pursue Lily Evans once again. Just because that's what was expected of them didn't mean that they had to do it, but Snape knew that they did. Lucius Malfoy had been trying to recruit him for the Dark Lord's forces and he knew if he gave in it meant that he would be fighting against the man he loved.
Snape broke the kiss as his emotions swirled in his head. "I won't forget you James Potter." He whispered, turning his face away from the man and blinking back tears. He couldn't afford to allow himself this show of emotion. He needed to become the Severus Snape he was before James Potter. His very life depended on it.
Gathering his clothes, Snape changed into them quickly. "Good-bye James." He said, picking up his wand from the chair. Throwing one last look at the man, Snape ran out the door and all the way to the Slytherin dormitories. He wouldn't allow himself to cry, but he couldn't stop the hand that went to his lips. Already the flavor of James was fading.
In the following months Snape watched in the background as James pursued Lily, and finally won her over the morning before the summer holidays that signaled the end of their sixth school year, by proposing to her in front of the Great Hall. James had already turned 17 and Lily was going to turn 17 in a months time. All noise in the hall had ceased, and Lily's face had brightened to an extraordinary red to match her hair before she leapt from her seat and accepted. That night, Severus allowed Lucius to take him to the Dark Lord and be Marked. Severus died on that night, and Snape was born.
He spent the summer learning under Lucius, making some of the most poisonous potions for the Dark Lord, and killing Muggles and Mudbloods. The start of his Seventh year at Hogwarts, Snape returned changed and much more mature than he had been. James didn't notice him, too caught up in his engagement to Lily. Instead, Snape watched from the sidelines as he saw his once best friend and lover fall deeply in love with one another. His hatred of them lent itself to his work under the Dark Lord and soon he was one of the top three to be feared in the Dark Lord's ranks.
For years he worked for Voldemort, inventing potion after potion that would effectively dismiss a battle and turn the victory to the Dark Lord and his followers. In all those years he never had time for a new lover. Up until the week before the fateful night of Halloween, Snape was as loyal to Voldemort as a lapdog. When he heard that Voldemort planned to kill the Potter's, Snape could not bring himself to feel any satisfaction in the news. Oh, he begged for Voldemort to save Lily, he knew that it was expected of him; but he really wanted to beg for James' life. James was the only one that had shown Snape what it felt like to love and be loved. When dawn broke on the first of November, the wizarding world found out that Voldemort had been defeated by a baby that was barely one year old. His parents dead, he had no family although every wizarding family in the world wanted to take him in. Fortunately for Snape, when he found out what Voldemort planned to do, he had gone to Dumbledore, begging his forgiveness and promising to turn spy for him. When the Death Eater's were rounded up by the Aurors, Snape was cleared of all charges on the word of Dumbledore and took up the Potions Professor job that Dumbledore offered.
Moving onto recent years, Snape remembered the first time he'd seen Harry Potter. With his head down, he looked so much like his father that Snape couldn't stop staring. He'd sneered at the boy when Harry had noticed him, seeing the green eyes of his mother. It still hurt after all these years that he'd been discarded, never thought about again. Indeed, Lily hadn't even invited him to the wedding.
Snape had disliked the boy on first sight, and in his classes the boy reminded him so much of James. The James he knew before they'd been lovers. It was because of that reason that Snape set out to cut Harry Potter down to little shreds. It was not possible that he knew about his father's tryst with Snape, but Snape treated him as if he did. Although he openly disliked the boy, he had saved his life numerous times over the years.
Present day Snape mulled over his decisions of the past and what he'd done in the past few weeks. Indeed, he seemed to have grown rather fond of the boy, interrupting plans from his Slytherin's that concerned the boy, subtly helping him with his Potions work when he noticed that the boy was going to make a mistake. He'd even gone so far as to give him an 'O' on his latest essay. He didn't know what was wrong with him, but he couldn't blame the effects of the potion. They only amplified what the person that was exposed to them was feeling for twenty-four hours. Well, they were supposed to dull all emotion, but Harry being Harry just simply turned the effects around with adding the wrong ingredient. It was entirely possible that he'd grown fond of the boy, and to hear him claim that he was in love with Draco Malfoy had stirred up his buried feelings, wanting to claim Harry as his own. He suspected that Draco and Harry had plotted something along the lines of the Gryffindor getting him, but he couldn't be too sure. The bond he'd cut in half the other night proved that the two weren't enemies, and weren't just friends. They had a history with one another and Snape intended on finding out what it was.
He knew he had to tell Harry about his relationship with James, but he'd already told the boy that he would do that one day. He still had to analyze his own feelings, find out how this fondness had started and when. He also needed to know how Harry felt about him. Whether he wanted this to be a one time thing, a fling with his Potions Professor, or something more. Snape wasn't about to let his feelings override his body once again. He would not be used for sex. It was ironic that they hadn't talked of their feelings, they had just gone straight into a physical relationship. If one could call it a relationship.
Snape was aware that he'd transferred his animosity towards Lily and James Potter to their son, and it was very possible that he'd transferred his feelings for James Potter onto his son. He couldn't tell for sure if he had or not, and he needed to examine that before he allowed the relationship to continue. After having almost no intimate physical contact with another person for over 20 years, it seemed like hell to make his body stop craving the young wizard. He knew he'd have to completely ignore the boy for the next few weeks to see what his feelings were. Hopefully Harry would not push him if he explained what he was doing. But explaining why he was going to be ignoring Harry also meant explaining about the boy's father. He couldn't do that just yet, not until he knew if it was merely lust for a love long forgotten or something else that was driving Snape into the arms of the young Gryffindor. There was a potion however, and it wouldn't last for the weeks he'd need if he was going to ignore the boy.
Without the threat of the Dark Lord, Snape was free to ponder such things in his spare time. He downed the scotch in his glass that he'd forgotten about when remembering his teenage years. He shuddered at the burn that slid down his throat and poured himself some more, sipping it this time. He could not afford to get drunk just yet, not until he'd done some soul searching. Laughing bitterly to himself, he was pleased to note that it was Friday evening. He had the whole weekend to himself, and he planned on using that time effectively.
Putting down the scotch, he moved to his personal cupboard and pulled out a vial filled with a murky substance. The Soul Serum was a hard potion to make, and only lasted three months a batch. The last time he'd made some was during the holidays to find out how his soul had been effected by Voldemort and years of servitude. What he found made Snape believe he was as ugly on the inside as he was out. This time, he was going to be searching his soul to unravel his twisted feelings and hopefully get an answer for them. Tucking the potion into his pocket, he glanced around the room. Everything would be fine when he got back to his body Monday morning, judging things went well. He walked to the hearth and threw floo powder into the flames, stepping into them as they whisked him up through the school to the Hospital Wing.
"Poppy, I wish to have use of one of your private chambers for three nights, perhaps longer." Snape said as he walked out of the floo. He dusted himself off and looked up to meet the medi-witch's gaze.
It was lucky that Poppy was not busy as she usually was this time of year with students becoming sick from the cold weather. "Your usual room Severus?" she asked professionally. She didn't ask why and Snape was grateful for that as he nodded towards her, swiftly walking into the chamber that he'd had since a child in Hogwarts. He cast some of the most powerful locking charms on the door that he could think of, barely leaving himself enough time to write a quick note to Dumbledore about the potion he was taking, if not the reasons why. Dumbledore was a smart man, he'd read between the lines.
"Fawkes!" Snape called out as he finished the note and the phoenix arrived shortly after being called. "Would you be so kind as to deliver this message to Albus please?" he asked the phoenix politely. He'd found out the hard way what it was like to upset a phoenix. With a nod of his head, Fawkes took the parchment in his mouth and disappeared in a rush of fire, gone to deliver his message.
Now that all the people who needed to be notified of his whereabouts were notified, Snape took off his cloak and settled himself in the bed. Taking the potion out of his pocket, he uncorked it and downed it in one, grimacing at the taste. In a matter of minutes his eyes were shut against the rest of the world and Snape could feel himself being sucked into the centre of his being, sucked towards his soul.
It was going to be a long weekend for Professor Snape as he explored his soul.