A/N: MISS ME GUYS? Lets get this started but first, some information and YES I'VE CHANGED THE AUTHOR'S NOTE! You NEED to read this to understand what happens in this chapter.

TO those who predicted what this chapter would hold, yup, in some ways it ties into Justice Leauge Unlimited as well! Now, to the inevitable battles coming up. I feel the need to remind you all my dear, dear readers, that Naruto and Ace are LEARNING; evolving with each chapter. Naruto isn't the dumb sack of hammers canon initially makes him out to be. He's very attentive to detail-careful to learn and observe every facet of his opponents...

...while enjoying the hell out of each fight, of course.

Now, a catalogue of sorts.

Naruto's and Ace have been very a busy, learning from each fight each other, and in Naruto's case, anything and everything he sees. Don't believe me? This chapter ought to show just how far his imagination can range once he puts his mind to something.

So the I's have it! More sweet fluffy bits in this chapter!

And so, I happily bring you the next chapter of...

...ROYAL FLUSH! Lots of interesting-and silly-stuff happens here! Hope ya like it! LET THE CHAOS CONTINUE! You think last chapter was nuts? You ain't seen anything yet! Fair warning once more, Naruto trolls the HELL out of a lot of people in this chapter...also, to those wondering whether or not Naruto did anything to Green Lantern's ring...this chapter answers it! Certain events here may hint at previous seasons as well. That's right!

See for yourself! And for those who like Batman x Wonder Woman? This ought to appease ya...

"You think dreams are scary? You think reality sucks? You idiot...WE BEND REALITY FOR BREAKFAST!"

(~Naruto and Ace, addressing the ill-fated Doctor Destiny.)

Lullaby

The Justice League had been defeated.

Decimated.

They had, Batman realized, nearly every one of them, been beaten, battered and bruised. Superman currently occupied a cot in the med bay. J'onn was still recovering from what he could only describe as a "psychic onslaught" upon his mind. Flash kept gibbering about Star Wars, which made no sense at all. Hawkgirl had a broken spine. Dianna wasn't talking but he knew the signs; her opponent must have been a man; otherwise she would not have been to tight-lipped at such a horrendous defeat.

But out of all them, it was Lantern who had suffered the most, mentally and physically. His body wreathed in electrical burns and worse; there were no powers there to help him. His ring had been destroyed during his own battle. Until he received another...he wouldn't be going anywhere. Yes, they'd lost. To two teenagers?!

God, this night was really starting to give him a migraine.

"This is unacceptable."

His head tilted towards the voice as it resonated through the Watchtower. Wonder Woman stalked up to him, looking as bad as he felt. He acknowledged her with a curt nod, unwilling to risk words. Within good reason; the woman radiated wrath, feelings of doom leaking from her like a cracked sieve. She was the only other one capable of walking at present. And she wasn't happy.

"How could we have lost to illusions?!" She demanded to know, grabbing the rail beside him with enough force to warp the steel. "We are not that weak!"

Ah. So that was the problem, Bruce realized. Her pride. It was in tatters.

"They weren't illusions." he answered.

"What?" she blinked. "They had to be. I've never seen such creatures before. Even the Gods-

"The bruises on Superman's body are real. So are Lantern's burns." He didn't have to mention Hawkgirl, they both cringed at the memory. "I don't know how, but somehow he's able to warp reality. To create things that should never have existed in our world. In this case, he recreated popular icons of fiction and breathed life into them. He knew our weaknesses, learned them, and used them against us. But he has weaknesses, too." he held up a small vial of blood, collected from the streets of Gotham. "And for all his powers, he still bleeds like a normal man."

Those keen eyes snapped back towards him.

"Its...black."

"Exactly. I'm thinking this could be the key to figuring out what he is."

"How so?"

"Think about it. Superman fought someone with ridiculous physical strength in Gotham. Flash faced an opponent capable of negating his speed by using telekinesis. Lantern's ring was overloaded and destroyed by pure energy. You already know the story with Hawkgirl and J'onn. She was immobilised, and he, mentally assaulted." The Dark Knight paused, considering. "What did you encounter?"

Her lips went thin. "I don't want to talk about it."

"It might hel-

"I said no!"

"Diana."

Before his eyes the slow flushing of her face looked almost atomic; a thick shade of red coloring her cheeks despite the Amazon's best efforts.

"Fine, It was a man in a white mask with orange hair," she huffed, looking away. "He wore black garments and was possessed of incredible speed; his sword spat flames capable of damaging even me. His mask blasted some strange sort of red light; I wasn't able to deflect that, either."

"Hmm." Batman frowned, thumbing his chin. "That sounds like Ichigo."

"Who?"

"A popular manga character in Japan." he turned and sat a nearby console, activating it. "You wouldn't know him. By rights, he shouldn't even exist. Just like our friend here. The difference is, he wasn't spawned from a piece of fiction. He's as real as you or I." She frowned slightly when he didn't look at her, no doubt curious as to what he was doing with that DNA sample. That device there, it was a microscope, wasn't it? What was he doing with it? Other questions abounded as well.

"Manga?"

"Comics." he clarified, inspecting the screen, adjusting the device.

"Oh. You mean those strips of paper with images? You read that nonsense?"

"I dabble." He wasn't about to admit he only knew about it because Naruto had left a substantial collection of manga behind during his retreat. That was just...odd. As if the boy were openly taunting him by flaunting the knowledge of his repertoire from a distance...no. He was probably overthinking it...

Diana planted a hand on her hip. "Sorcery," she spat the very word as if it were foul. "He's a magician, then, like Faust. So is the girl."

"No."

"Ugh!" The Amazon audibly groaned and shook her head, the motion sending her ebon hair thrashing from side to side in agitation. "Now you're not making any sense. If not magic, then what? Telepaths?" she leaned a bit over his shoulder, trying to understand what he was trying to tell her...and only finding herself even more confused.

"The girl might be, but not him." He wheeled the chair aside, allowing her to come closer. "He's...different. Look."

She did, gazing at the microscope, then its image, amplified by the computer. Needless to say, she was baffled.

"What am I seeing?"

"His blood cells."

"They're different. Too many protein strands. Too many cells. See that red energy there? Its saturating them, multiplying them, destroying them, making even more. Like a small factory, and endless cycle." Diana didn't like the way he'd said that. It sounded...ominous. "Maybe this is why he's able to regenerate; each cell has a life of its own."

"What does this mean?"

"Other than being hard to kill? I don't know." Bruce hated to admit it, but he didn't. "I need to run more tests-

"I'm going to find him."

Well, that was unexpected.

"Alone?" He spun around, leaping out of the chair after her. "You won't stand a chance."

"After what they did to Shayera, I have to try-what are you doing?!"

His hand locked around her wrist; she jerked back as if she'd been scalded. Something flashed in those bright eyes-something vulnerable-but it was gone almost before he recognized it. In that instant Diana could have broken him seven ways to sunday, but she didn't. Wait. Was she...blushing? No, that was preposterous. Amazons didn't blush.

"Let...go."

"You can't think of them as ordinary opponents; and you can't treat them rationally." he argued, refusing to relinquish his hold on her wrist. "Ace can break you with a glance. Naruto doesn't even need to see you to do what he did to Clark. Everything we've learned up until now is because they've shown us. They're just kids. They were playing with us, Diana. Toying with us. He said so himself. If what he said about his imagination is true-and I'm not saying it is-I'd be willing to bet we haven't even seen the tip of the ice-burg here. If you provoke them without knowing how to stop them...

She jerked free of his grasp, but the purpose had fled from her.

"Then what should I do?!"

"Diana."

She paused.

"You're not the only one hurting here. Remember that. Let the others recover. When we confront them, and there will be a when, we'll do it on our terms. Not theirs."

"I...yes," she faltered, looking slightly sheepish. "I know. I am simply unaccustomed to losing in such a fashion. I feel so helpless."

"You should get some sleep. I'll take first watch."

She muttered something that sounded like an assent and clamored away. Bruce didn't return his attention to the console until he was certain the elevator had departed. Strange, he found himself wanting to follow her and make certain she was alright. He was slipping. Yes, sleep sounded like an excellent idea right about now, but there would be no rest for him. Not until he'd gotten a handle on this. Still...

Who knew what those little devils were up to now?

Little did he knew that said "devil" was much closer than he thought...

"You're a bastard." Shayera grumbled at him, her voice barely more than a whisper in the medbay. "You know that, right?"

"Who, me?" he grinned cheekily. "I am but a humble eater of ramen."

"Yes, you! You broke my spine!" It was meant to be a shout, but emerged as little more than a dry rasp. "How did you get here, anyway?!" More than anything else, she wanted to reach up and smack him, but the cold mental bindings against her wrists prevented her arms from doing anything more than twitching. Naruto hummed softly, shifting those arms, and then her legs into a ridiculous position despite her vehement, if slightly muted protests.

Ah, the benefits of a sound dampener...

"Well, batsy was foolish enough to take a sample of my blood up here. Now he knows the secret of my regeneration...but its probably never occurred to him that I can do more with it. After all, each and every cell has a life of its own...did he ever consider that those cells might be conscious? Cadmus did some terrible things to me and Ace with their experiments but they were useful things, too. Did you ever consider that my cells, they might be programmed to, oh, I don't know, form a body when they get too far from the source?"

Horror dawned on her unmasked face.

"You...you're a-

"Yup." the doppleganger grinned cheekily. "I'm just a clone. I won't last long, though."

"I was going to say monster, but that's close enough." she growled.

"You wound this humble idiot with your words." the copy deadpanned back, blue eyes becoming angry slits. "You know, if I wasn't a nice guy, I could take my frustration out on your friends." Those eerie orbs left hers and roamed towards to Superman, J'onn, Lantern, and Flash, still out cold on the cots opposite her. Unable to move, unable to defend themselves from attack. Her heart went cold.

"Y-You wouldn't!"

"The man of steel." humming softly, he stalked forward at the still Kryptonian. "Not so steely now. Wonder how much pain he can take?"

"Don't!

"It would be so simple," he mused, now approaching the martian's prone form. "I could snap his neck and kill him before he ever woke up." A hand ghosted across his skull, drawing a pained groan from his victim from where he lay. "Huh. Sovereign really messed him up. Note to self, don't use Reapers again. Too risky. Perhaps killing him would be a mercy, now...

"Stop!" she strained against his telekinetic hold, trying to grab her mace with her good arm, to no avail. "I'm warning you! If you touch them I'll...!"

"You'll what?" A blue eye appeared over his shoulder, that single glance conveying more scorn than humanly possible. "Curse me? Please."

"YOU!"

"The Flash, too." Ignoring her desperate cries, he strode towards the scarlet speedster, pacing away from the still-living alien to regard Wally. "The fastest man alive, trapped in a nightmare of his own making, unable to run away. You know I'm more than strong enough to break him.

"I'm begging you!"

He made it to the third cot, her pleas caroming harmlessly off his uncaring visage.

"Lantern's powerless without that precious ring, so he wouldn't even be able to fight back. The man you secretly adore; wouldn't that be an untimely end? For him to die in his sleep, without ever knowing...

Her heart, still pounding, now threatened to leap out of her chest. "NARUTO! PLEASE!"

He laughed, dropping the dark facade as easily as one would draw breath. "Oh, relax. I'm not going to hurt anyone. I just wanted to prove my point."

Shayera gasped, feeling as though an invisible weight had dropped off her shoulders. Then she seethed. He'd made a fool of her!

"Wh-What?"

"I really came up here to make sure you were all alright." he confessed. "See, I'm a bit of a guilty person, and my clones share that sentiment. There." he laid a hand upon J'onn's forehead, his fingertips stemming with a gentle green glow. "That should help speed things along. Wouldn't want him losing his mind...oh, that is interesting."

Shayera lifted her head.

"What is?"

"Someone's poking around in his heads" the clone/boy sounded almost amused, his voice distant as his hand roved over the martian's skull. "Flash and Lantern, too. Even Superman. Calls himself...Doctor Destiny. Wow. Corny, much. That's some dangerous telepathy, there though; trapping people in their dreams like that while they sleep, killing them...

"WHAT?!" the word exploded from her in a shout.

"Owowowow, don't shout, 'ttebayo." came the muffled reply. "Its not easy, muffling you when you're that loud."

New, too." the clone confirmed, that glazed look in his eye deepening. "He's just gotten his powers, and it seems he knows how to use them. I'd better nip him in the bud before he becomes a problem for me...that'll be two you owe me, now. Lets give Acey a call though, just to be safe. Then we can get down to business."

Before she could ask what on earth he meant by that, the clone went rigid.

(Miles away, in a distant, secluded warehouse...)

At long last, John Dee-Doctor Destiny, he reminded himself-would have vengeance.

The Justice League had been much too busy with a strange new threat to deal with something so mundane as a prison break on Stryker's; which of course gave him plenty of time to put his plan into action. Having been used as a human test subject for a device called the Materioptikon-a device gave people temporary ESP-after so long, he'd known at once the device was exactly what he needed get revenge on the Justice League. He'd been dreaming of this day for so long now, and justice-ha!-was only a few thoughts away.

After all, this was was all their fault.

If they hadn't raided that warehouse none of this would have happened! If they'd never have found him smuggling those weapons for Luthor he'd never be locked up, never denied parole, his wife wouldn't have left him for some two-bit hick mechanic. Never have forced him to this. Forced him to take advantage of the riot, kill the doc, crank the device at max power.

Perhaps it could be said that John Dee was insane; that his inability to accept the consequences of his own actions had led him to this moment.

Regardless, his misguided ambitions nearly cost him his life.

It had been the worse pain he'd ever experienced; thunderbolts of brilliant agony lighting up his brain. he wasn't sure how long he lingered there, on death's doorstep, but somehow, he survived. Survived and emerged the better for his reckless endeavor; awakened to discover with great delight, his new gifts.

From there it had been child's play.

His wife had already paid for her treachery, trapped in a never-ending nightmare from which she would never wake. Death would be her only escape.

And with his newly ill-begotten powers, he'd decided it was the perfect time to strike at those who had ruined him. It was...well, easy. Almost too easy. Superman, Flash,Green Lantern, Wonder Woman -even the damn martian-all now trapped in their worst nightmares. The sheer agony of which, would eventually kill them. Of course, Batman and Hawkgirl were still awake, but it was only a matter of time before they-

"Before what, I wonder?"

Doctor Destiny started as an invisible hand clamped around the stronghold of his mind and shattered it to pieces. In an instant his attention was flung outward, forcibly returned to the material plane, his psychic hold on the League broken

He was looking at a boy and a girl, she garbed in a battered white sundress, and he in an orange shirt and faded black jeans with...were those bloodstains?

"How did you get here?!" he demanded to know.

"Oh, that was easy." the blond hummed. "My clone traced your psychic link and contacted me. From there, it was child's play for us. Right, Ace?"

...can we kill him, already?" his companion sighed, her head rising from its place on the boy's shoulder. "I was just starting to kick your ass at Mortal Kombat."

"Libel!" he cried! "I owned you at Mario Kart."

"'Cuz you cheated." came the deadpanned reply. "You can't cheat in a fighting game."

"More slander! Goku kicked your butt!"

"He loves to fight. Of course he'd excel in that."

John took the opportunity to observe the duo as they bickered.

The girl, she was easy to read. A powerful telepath-one who regarded him with open contempt-her dark eyes judging him and finding him wanting. Utterly beneath her notice. The boy...he was different. Those blue eyes noticed him almost immediately, locking upon him as though he were the cat and he a mere mouse. Somehow, that gaze was even worse than the girl's. Like looking into the eyes of an alpha predator, and realizing you were hopelessly, woefully outmatched. A sudden urge to flee filled him.

"You? Who are you?" he demanded to know.

"Judge, Jury, and Executioner." Ace answered. "That's all you need to know."

"Oh, Acey, you say the most wonderful things!" Naruto cooed, stroking her chin. "Couldn't have gotten a better response if I tried. You want to do the honors?"

The girl preened at her boyfriend's praise. "Gladly."

John bristled.

"Idiots! If you're here to kill me, I'll trap you, too! You'll never esca-

The moment he made the mistake of looking into her eyes, he was lost.

Ace scoffed, her dark pupils glowing an eerily gold. Naruto cackled, his own flashing red.

"You think dreams are scary? You think reality sucks? You idiot...WE EAT THAT SHIT FOR BREAKFAST!"

Naruto's clone loosened up moments later in the Watchtower.

"Oooh, close one." it shuddered. "He almost had the boss, there. He had to completely destroy his mind before he went nuts.

Shayera felt herself bristle beneath that stare. "Why are you doing this? The real reason, not the excuse."

"I told you, I'm a guilty guy, sis." He un-clenched a fist, revealing a newly created green lantern ring for John. Humming softly, he slipped it onto the man's finger. "You haven't tried to seriously hurt any of my precious people, so I don't see why I have to destroy you like I did that poor John Dee. As to the spine bit, well, it reeeeaaaally wasn't me. Technically it was Nico Robin, a character of One Piece, whom I breathed life into. She's always been a tad excessive."

"You're impossible."

He shrugged. "Honestly, I think you got off easily dealing with her, really. I mean, you COULD have fought that guy."

"What guy?"

The blond pointed at the new scene unfolding before their very eyes.

"I-what...how are you doing that?!"

"Fuck you, that how."

"Seriously?"

"Sorry, knee jerk reaction...anyhow, just watch!"

"Guess you'd rather deal with me, then?"

Her hand shot up instinctively, catching her beloved weapon before it could strike her in the face. Then she realized who had spoken.

She swung about, startled to find she was no longer alone in uptown Gotham.

She was looking at...well, she wasn't quite sure what she was looking at, honestly. Green hair and one eye, the other blinded by a scar. His green hair and equally green garb were quite baffling indeed, but what baffled her even more were the swords. She knew of such things of course, but why did have three of them, one in each hand, and...what was he doing with the third?

...I don't suppose you have a name?" she ventured.

...Zoro."

"I-

"Your name doesn't matter to me," the man replied with a gravelly grunt, placing the third sword in his mouth, teeth tightly gripping its hilt. "I'm just here to fight. Try not to disappoint me before I cut you." Something about his casual dismissal of her sent her over the edge; all the pent up frustration she'd been feeling since this afternoon exploded in one furious, defiant shriek...

...and was cut down almost immediately.

Shayera gulped as the warped reality faded.

"See?" the teen grinned. "You may have a broken spine, but they fix that sorta shit all the time...I think. Worse case scenario, I'll fix it myself."

Shayera blinked, stunned by his words-

-but only if you promise to be my big sister."

...what?"

"You heard me." his grin was telling as he climbed onto the bed, his legs swinging merrily too and fro. "I always wanted a big sister. Gala doesn't count because she's basically the same age as me, just accelerated. Ace-well, I love her and she's my girl, so that doesn't count, either. 'Sides, let's face it, you and Diana are badass. So? Whaddya say?"

"That's blackmail."

"Aye, it is."

"Why you-

"Hey, better alive then dead, says I! And now we're out of time, goodbye!"

The Thanagarian balked, suddenly realizing she'd been left in the medbay, her paralyzed body posed in a very...interesting position. Fury blotched her tan face.

"WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE YOU ARE SO DEAD!"

Of course, Lantern chose that moment to wake up.

"What in the world is going on?!"

Back in Gotham, the Joker was very much wondering the same thing.

He was wondering who the devil had broken into his hideout and ruined all his lovely plans. One moment he'd been pouring over them, the next a giant hand-I shit you not!-came flying through the wall, depositing what looked a great deal like that kid from the news feeds right in his abode.

The Joker gulped as Naruto none-too-subtly shouldered the giant brass mallet.

It was an impossibly large weapon, something someone of his size should have no business holding, let alone swinging. Yet the teenager hoisted the massive bludgeon it as though it were no more than a feather. Yup. Powerlevels were indeed bullshit, it seemed. Moreso the fact that the insatiable blond had simply appeared as if from nowhere and everywhere. Strange, the kid reminded him of the Lantern fellow, but his ring was no green, it was grey...

"I seem to recall you saying something about playing whack-a-bat. Personally though," his grin was decidedly wolfish as he hefted the hammer, "I'd rather play whack-a-clown." A deafening crack sounded as he struck down at the floor, rendering a nearby oil drum little more than a flattened tin can. That...that wasn't supposed to happen!

Said clown turned even paler than usual when he the kid somehow summoned another hammer from nowhere.

"Well, and here I thought I was crazy...

"Eh, you might be." the blond shrugged. "Would you be willing to listen to an offer of mine?"

...not really, no, considering you've got that big honking hammer-

Naruto's smile turned devious.

"THEN START RUNNING CLOWN BOY!"

A/N: Hoooooooooooooooooohh DAYUM! What will be the world's fate?! That's right folks, I finally did it! A Naruto x Justice League crossover! With Ace as the main pairing, no less! MAJOR fluffiness following this, so I sincerely hope ya'll stay tuned. And yup yup, the Joker makes an appearance in the next chapter! Expect much hilarity and insanity! We haven't seen the last of the Joker, either!

So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review...Would Ya Kindly?

R&R! =D