Quietly Forever
Meandering back towards the precinct after lunch, Will having left Remy's in the opposite direction to them, Richard Castle can hardly keep himself from spilling over with delight. He is in New York City, paragon of dreams. The weather is just starting to roll over into spring, bursts of colour everywhere he looks. Tremulous life pushing up through the cracks in the sidewalks, the sills of the city's windows abundant with flora in colours that make his mouth water.
And by his side, hand clasped loosely in his, is Kate Beckett. Her skin is warm, palm a little clammy, and she smells sweet like honeysuckle. But it's not the soft, familiar smell of her or the brush of the creamy skin at her inside wrist against his that makes him grin.
She keeps darting these little sideways glances at him, and every time he catches her at it she smiles, wide and beautiful. And eventually, he just can't take it anymore. He tugs her with him to lean against the cool granite edifice of some office building and cups her face in his hands, cradling the arc of her joy.
It's fluid, like water slipping through his fingers and she shivers. Whether from the sudden shade or the nudge of his body against her he doesn't know, but it ceases to matter when he leans in to kiss her. Soft and sweet and lovely, tender in a way he's always wanted to be with her.
He had sort of always assumed that one day it would just be too much to ignore and they'd fall in to bed together, wake up with their bodies bruised and reddened and marked with their cataclysmic union. It never even occurred to him that it could be like this, that they could be quite content just to kiss.
Not forever - desire pools low down in his guts and he wants her badly, soon it will be too much to ignore. But for now, this is more than enough. "Hey. Are you sure we have to go back to work?"
"I want to solve this case. So you can take me out to dinner."
He returns her smile, smoothes his thumb along the line of her jaw. And he knows he has to say it. Even if he is hesitant. "Kate. . .there's always a case. And I think- I don't want to keep waiting for the right time. There's never going to be a perfect moment."
"What are you saying?" She says quietly, but there are flecks of teasing in it. He knows her, well enough to tell when she's hurting. And right now, she isn't. Confused yes, but amused by him too.
He shrugs, darts in to kiss her again. The touch of her mouth against his imbues him with courage, and suddenly it's easy. "I want to take you out tonight. No matter where we are with the case."
"Okay." She laughs, harder still when she sees his face. He must look as startled as he feels, because she's palming his cheek and leaning in to kiss him. "Let's go on our date tonight."
He kisses her again for that, once more, and then he tangles his fingers with hers and they carry on down the sidewalk. Has he mentioned that he really, really likes this? Walking hand in hand with Kate, soaking in the utterly unique hum of this city.
There's no rush. Not to get back to work, not to throw themselves into this thing. She told him once that she wanted to dive right in, but this between them is more like wading slowly into the ocean. Easy and luxurious, keeping them both buoyant.
"This is really nice." She murmurs, looking a little embarrassed to have even said that out loud. Squeezing her fingers in his, Rick draws her close enough against his side that their thighs bump together as they walk. He doesn't even trust himself to speak, to respond in any way other than with the way he touches her.
They walk in silence for a couple more blocks, the grip of their hands breaking apart around a queue for a hotdog vendor's stall. When they meet again at the other side he draws an exaggerated breath in, hums his pleasure at the smell of the food and she giggles, rests her head at his shoulder for a fleeting moment.
The persistent nudge of her fingers in his startles him a little, has him glancing over at her in surprise. He wasn't really expecting her to be so willing to do this. Hold his hand in the middle of the street. But already he's learning that Kate Beckett is romantic and fun and so happy.
At the crosswalk the sign is lit to tell them not to walk and Rick takes the opportunity to curl his arm at her waist and kiss her temple, mindful of the tourists that spill around them. When Kate slips her fingers into his belt as if to hold on, his heart lifts like a crescendo, but then the sign is switching to walk and Beckett is untangling herself from his grip, tugging them both across the street.
There's a shortcut through a park to get them back to the precinct. He stays quiet, enjoying just strolling along the path with the woman he loves. If he ignores the fact that they're on their way to solve a murder, he can almost pretend that it's an ordinary day and they're an ordinary couple.
The weather brings the people out in droves, young lovers sprawled together on picnic blankets. With a start, he realises that that's them now. Lovers. He turns to Kate, maybe to share that revelation with her, and sees her chewing on her bottom lip.
He doesn't like that furrow between her brows, the way she suddenly seems not quite with him. "You okay?"
"Yeah." She nods, managing a smile for him. They come up beside a bench and she tugs him to sit with her, their bodies aligned shoulder to knee. He really likes it, likes even more when she nuzzles closer and drops her head to his shoulder. "Castle. . .about what Will said at lunch."
Oh. Right. He was hoping to just let that slide, just leave it alone. Doesn't think he can bear to hear her refute it. "Kate, it's okay. We don't have to talk about it."
"No, we do." She says, steadfast as ever. Her detective persona like a flare that sparks up inside of her. Only now, it marbles together with her Kate facets, makes this woman that he knows so well and also doesn't know at all.
"Alright."
"I'm sorry that I reacted that way." Shame colours her cheeks, a delicate flush underneath her cheekbones that he wants to kiss away. And he can, now.
He kisses her until she smiles against his mouth, the lovely pink of her face for an entirely different reason now. "You don't have to be sorry. I understand."
"No, I don't think you do." She shakes her head, enfolding one of his hands in both of hers. For a moment, he debates brushing it off, making some joke about him still finding new layers to the Beckett onion. But she looks so serious that all he can do is stay quiet and wait for her. "It wasn't because I don't feel it, Rick. I just didn't want that to be the first time you heard it. From my brother."
"Kate-" He gapes, can't get past the wonderful shape and form of her name in his mouth. Does she mean. . .?
And then she's smiling, her hands cradling his face as she leans in to kiss him. Her thumbs circle in front of his ears, distracting him momentarily from the hot slick of her tongue in his mouth, but that's-
Oh, Kate.
She pulls back, breathless, and laughs at the look on his face. "Castle. My brother is right. He did miss it."
"Can you say it?" He whispers, grabs for her hands to hide how his own are trembling. This past year, he's started to let himself believe that she cares about him too. The way she smiles at him, laughs with him, buys him dinner and flares with jealousy when he notices another woman. It all came together to point to an inevitable conclusion.
Now, hope is swelling inside him and he feels he might just come apart at the seams, have it come rushing out of him for everyone to see.
Kate kisses him again, softer this time. And then she pulls away, and her smile is like nothing he's seen in his life before. "I love you."
"You love me." He breathes against her mouth, body crying out in exaltation, and then he's kissing her, kissing her, and he wants nothing more than to live inside this moment forever.
At the precinct later that afternoon he's giddy, can hardly keep still in his chair beside her desk. The boys, stellar detectives that they are, noticed the change in his relationship with Kate immediately. And not because they walked on him pressing his thumbs into the thick rope of muscle at her shoulder to work out a knot of tension.
Not at all. He's way too stealthy for that.
His heel is bouncing against the floor, his knee jigging, and it truly must be a testament to the depths of Kate's adoration for him that she has yet to so much as raise an eyebrow in his direction. Normally, she'd send him on errands to get him out of her sight so she didn't have to shoot him.
Well. . .normally he isn't unable to keep still. Normally, the woman he has been in love with since the dawn of time itself hasn't just told him she loves him back. He's just about to take himself off, try and find something to do to give Kate a break from the utterly ridiculous level of delight he's peaked at, and then his phone rings.
He tugs it free from his pants pocket, wrinkles his nose at the foreign number. Oh, and that's a habit of Kate's that he's picked up somewhere along the way. The thought makes him wriggle in pleasure even as he swipes his thumb across the screen to answer the call.
"Castle."
"Hey, Rick. It's Will. Will Beckett."
Whoa, okay. "Hi, Will. Are you looking to get hold of Kate?"
"No, actually." Beckett's brother laughs. "I was looking for you. I feel like I should get to know you, without Katie there to breathe down our necks. So you wanna get a beer some time?"
He chances a glance over at Kate, finds her very pointedly not looking at him. He can't help but wonder whether she put Will up to this, but no matter. "That sounds great. Maybe tomorrow night? There's this really great bar called the Old Haunt. I know the owner."
That makes Kate snort with laughter and he nudges at her ankle with the toe of his shoe, lifts a brow when she meets his eyes.
"Sounds great. Text me the address and I'll meet you at eight tomorrow?"
"Sure. See you then." Rick says, hanging up the call and dropping his phone to the surface of Beckett's desk. "You gave your brother my number."
"Yes. Well, he asked me for it."
"Mm-hmm." Rick says with faux nonchalance, saving Will's number as a contact in his phone and pocketing it again, leaning back in his chair to watch her. "I think I'm gonna head out. Get ready for our date."
"Okay." She smiles up at him, her whole face somehow, impossibly, growing more beautiful with it. "I'll see you tonight."
"See you." He grins back, forces himself to head for the elevator before he does something really stupid like kiss her in the bullpen for everyone to see.
The cocktail of nerves and excitement in his gut makes him pace within the confines of the elevator car and he shoves his hands into his pants pockets, takes a deep breath. No big deal, right?
Only the first official date with the woman he's known for a while he wants to marry someday.