Frank remained distant for the several hours. When spoken to, his replies with short and his eyes didn't glitter like they usually did. It wasn't until I became overcome by sleep, and lazily fell slowly sideways, causing me to lean on Frank's bony shoulder then those eyes gained a speck of shine. I looked up tiredly and gave him a small smile. I smiled back. I snuggled into him again and allowed myself to sleep.
When I awoke, the dream I had just experienced suddenly vanishing from my memory, I was no longer on Frank's shoulder, but his lap. Frank was asleep now, his head lolling against the window, his arm hung over the door handle and his legs crossed as to, I guess, support my previously sleeping head. I stared up at him, remembering last night all too well. I felt perverted. He wasn't that much younger than me, but he seemed like over a decade my junior. Yet, the feeling was over powered by another; a feeling I knew, but it had always been for someone else, Kat. I want to say the feeling was love, but that would be over doing it. Crush maybe? No, this felt more than a crush. I guess I'm not sure what this feeling is, but it somewhere in between crush and being in love.
But that's stupid really… Just because we had sex doesn't mean what we are in love! But yet, I can't stop staring at him. His chubby cheeks, medium length lashes and strong jaw line. His dyed orange fringe ruffled forward and covering one eye slightly. My mind began to drift off…
What if I left Kat for Frank? Would it really be that bad being all gay with this kid? I'd probably like it! God, the sex would be amazing- the type of sex where I would not be doing all the work for once- unless I was in a dominant mood, which mean Frank would become my little sex toy, writhing beneath me like a fucking sexy-ass porn star. He'd scream my name as adrenalin pumped through his body, his nails digging into me. He'd being doing everything to and for me and as I did for him last night.
I've had gay experiences before, but none had included me being the one taking it all. Now that I had finally done it, I lusted for it all again. Frank pounding into me like a sexy god, destroying all sanity and leaving my breathless and weak but satisfied and, strangely loved. The kisses that had been shared throughout the sex and after weren't rough and desperate but loving and sexy all at once. Every time those lips placed themselves delicately on my own my heart skipped more than just a beat- a whole rhythm was skipped, and when it started up again, it thumped so hard, but chest literally jumped into the air- Fuck!
But, if I were to leave Kat for Frank, what would become of Olivia? What if Kat could handle being on her own ALL of the time as a single parent? What if Olivia is mine and I just abandon her?
Who am I kidding! Olivia is NOT my daughter and as much as my heart still so-what beats for Kat, I don't think I'm in love with her anymore… I love her, but I'm not IN love with her. But I think I might be falling for Frank… Could I ever say 'I Am In Love With Frank Iero?'