What color is bliss?
Bliss is green.
I stared at my boombox as the bass filtered through my room. I could hear my parents arguing downstairs, saying things they would regret later on, but right now, they were on the warpath. I just prayed that I would be left out of it this time.
Rap music flowed through the speakers and I closed my eyes. If I lost myself in the lyrics, I could forget that their marriage was crumbling, that my father was fucking some white bitch from work. I could forget his tendency to put his hands on my mother and me. I could forget just how shitty my life was. The woofers of the stereo pulse a constant green and I slipped my headphones on. It drowned out the ridiculous fight from downstairs, and drowned out the sound of crashing plates and feeble screams. I dug in my pocket to find a small baggie. In this baggie was what I needed to get away from the hell that I lived in.
I pulled the cigarette out of the baggie and lit it. I inhaled deeply, wanting to forget everything. Sometimes I think about the fact that we were going broke. With this stuff I could lose myself. I could forget that I was KoJo. I could forget that in this town, no matter what I do, I couldn't get ahead of Zeke and Luther. I could be whatever I wanted to be, I could be a skater, a singer, a fish in the damn sea. I didn't have to stay here, let my mind be clouded with the ridiculous expectations that were placed on my all the time.
I was in heaven.
I pulled at my green shirt, the neck itching me. I heard a scream and I cranked the sound system louder. They weren't going to kill my buzz; they weren't going to bring me back into this hellish nightmare that I called my life. My mother was strong, she could fight him off. And if not, she could spread her legs, might distract him long enough.
I could feel buzz of contentment filling my bones, I was getting lighter and lighter. Soon I'd be able to float right out of here. I would float so so far away. Somewhere where I didn't have to be the token kid. Somewhere where I could just be left alone. I was tired of everything about Pacific Terrace and Gilroy. I threw opened my window and looked down at the lawn below me, the grass was a bright emerald. The world seemed to sing, reflected my elated mood, I could feel a certain heaviness begin to creep up on me and my buzz. With that heaviness, I would be stuck in reality, not in this beautiful place where everything could happen. I crawled onto the roof and stood on the edge, my arms opened. In this whole beautiful fucking world, people go through shit every second without anyone else in the world giving a damn.
What the hell was the world coming to?
I dug in my pocket to find several green dollar bills. Next time I'm going with something lighter and trippier. Maybe then, I could meddle out and keep my own peace.
Bliss is green.