"Oh, but first, best get someone to clear away all this stone fallen about, huh? I swear, the disrepair you guys allow them to fall into..."
Watching far beyond the Mushroom Kingdom, a tall figure dwelt upon this rebellion in the making. He liked dealing with rebellions. Ever so good at annihilating them whole. He had good practise of this almost daily- him, a small but functional chamber, and a comfy revolving chair.
Oh, and the most destructive machine in the entirety of the known worlds. Which, he considered, may have to be put into use again. His scheme may well depend on it.
Looking at his screen again, he thought coldly, logically, about how best to eliminate this threat. Squish them under a huge Thwomp? No. Too immediate. Swarm them with Bob-ombs? Probably would catch his own people's attention; such an unnatural occurrence would be far too obvious. No. He needed something plausible, something that suggested an avoidable, unfortunate demise.
And importantly, something that could finish them off. He ruminated over this. Then, bringing himself to his vast metallic contraption, he touched his rigid head against it and translated his thoughts into matter. And the matter was given purpose- to destroy.
"So, uh, where do we start?" asked Luigi. "The weak point, yeah? How do we know where that is?"
"Simple, my boy! That'd be the spot where time is weakest, don't you know!"
A tumbleweed blew by. The group were locked in place.
"...in other words... you've no clue, have you?" E. Gadd remained as he was. "That ain't very scientific, is it? Just, wandering around to find what we're looking for... Eh, Mario...?"
Mario wasn't listening. He was staring instead towards Toad Town, away in the distance. But he wasn't looking at it.
There was something else.
They could all sense it, though nothing could be seen. But then, a definite form came about, all at once. Out of thin air. It was unlike any other being they had ever seen, even with their considerable experience. 5 feet wide, twice as much tall, with harsh purple skin draped over a mighty humanoid bulk. You could call it a beast, but in comparison, all the other creatures in the Kingdom were as beautiful as Peach- a great big stinking 'The Beast' was the only title that did it justice. Certain features were recognisably humanoid- two arms, two legs, a head- but that's where the similarities ended. The rest was like an amalgamation of features, with vast wings, long spiky tentacles, and unrelentingly hot warts placed inexplicably across the flesh, even where facial features would have been.
It somehow didn't need them though, for it could detect Mario easily enough. And throw a devastating hand right towards him too. Mario shrieked, surprised, and leapt deftly over it, barely scraping himself against a spike. Before he could land, though, the other arm followed up, and the plumber felt the full force of the blow. He rocketed backwards and collided with another statue of Peach with a painful thud. As he smacked on a ? block below, the statue followed, pieces surrounding the dazed hero.
Luigi wanted to scream. He wanted to flee, or just drag his brother away from this Beast. But he knew what he must do.
"Toadsworth, Professor, get out of here! Run for it!" he screamed. "Shut the doors too! Just keep the Princess and everyone in the castle, safe!"
The two old men hesitated for a moment, but eventually, their duty of protecting the Princess won out.
"Very well, Master Luigi," Toadsworth bowed, "you are the master. But do care for yourselves!"
Luigi nodded, and returned his focus on the Beast that was still targeting Mario. Despite its bulk, it was striding towards him at an amazing pace that would even intimidate an Amazy Dayzee. It certainly intimidated him. But his twin brother's life was at stake.
Luigi sprung up and bounced carefully on the Beast's softer parts, propelling himself upwards on its wings. It ignored him entirely, until he managed a fair height above it and ground-pounded the head. A massive convulsion threw Luigi off into a bush below. He peeked out, but all he saw was that his attack had only barely hurt it. And very much angered it, which he realised with a cry as a fist pounded into the grass just inches from his nose. He bounded backwards, and kept doing so as a barrage of swipes began. Each one so nearly hit the mark, and soon one would.
Eventually, the taller plumber tripped over on a block behind him, falling on his back. He was vulnerable. And soon dead.
But, as he opened his eyes, he realised that the Beast was actually dithering between him and something behind itself. There was some noise too, like ice colliding with fire...
Then he saw it- through the beast's legs, there was Mario, now in his light blue and red overalls. The block he landed on must have been an Ice Flower block! As the Beast screeched with every shot Mario threw, Luigi brought his attention to the one he tripped on. Blocks close together normally held the same things, didn't they? Then, this was his chance! Preparing himself, Luigi kicked the box at its side, and leapt triumphantly to grab just what he needed-
-a coin. Oh. 'Well,' thought Luigi, 'that's something, I guess.' Rather than collect it, he yielded it in his right hand. The Beast was still distracted by the bursts of ice. Swinging his arm backwards, Luigi threw the coin directly at its head like a Frisbee, hitting with a mild twang. The Beast turned around, confused, crushing the coin under its foot.
"Mamma mia!"
Wild tentacles shot out at him, tightly wrapping him in a suffocating embrace. Mario stopped his assault, realising his partner's despair. A choked cry that sounded like "Mario!" escaped through the writhing tentacles. But Luigi wouldn't, not if he didn't do something.
Mario paced back two steps, then sped towards Luigi's captor. It was disregarding the green plumber ebbing away in its grasp, now returning its focus on Mario. But while it was doing so, Mario leapt quickly onto a haphazard wing, moving on and up until he was high enough to backflip over the Beast. Avoiding another flurry of tentacles reaching for him, he aimed at those that imprisoned his taller partner and flung several ice balls right at them. They fragmented right between each link, each eliciting a painful cry from the Beast. In such pain, it loosened its grip on Luigi. He fell, surprised, crashing awkwardly on the grass below.
Mario descended beside him. Luigi stumbled getting up, and turned his head to him. Both glanced each other, and smiled. Thumbs up. And a giant purple fist down between them wiped the smile off their faces. The fight wasn't over yet. Not by a long shot.
"Now, now, everyone," Toadsworth bellowed, "there's no cause for mayhem, I assure you! Masters Mario and Luigi are sorting out this latest rapscallion even as I speak. Why, I'm positive that before we know it, they shall have given that rogue a beating or two! We need just remain inside, and-"
"Rapscallion? Rogue?" yelled a green Toad from the crowd that had gathered to hear Toadsworth. "That thing out there's a demon!"
"Horrifying!" called another.
"I hope those Mario Bros. are okay..."
"Look at it! They've as good as corked it."
"I miss Bowser now..."
"It looks kinda cute actually-"
"SILENCE!" Toadsworth shouted. Everyone obliged. Toadsworth cleared his throat. "Ahem... As I was saying, the Masters are dealing with things even as we speak. Now, I recognise that their latest combatant is rather more... hefty, than most. Heedless, they have faced tougher terrors in their considerable lifetimes, and doubtless this one shall pose no more trouble than most."
Perched on an open arch in the front entrance, facing the battle outside, a 3DS Health Points Totality Predictor was resting on its smooth metallic surface. E. Gadd's latest invention, its functions ranged from expanding the dimensions of objects, logging the names of people passed in the street, and-as E. Gadd needed in this case- analysing the impact of damage accumulated and the physiological structure of the Beast, to determine its health and weaknesses.
It also provoked dizziness, nausea and headaches with prolonged use. But that was another story.
It was giving the Professor a headache of different sort right now, though. The readings it was producing just didn't make sense. 'Impossible', was the word. And despite how many adjustments he made, how much he slapped the contraption to make it behave, it remained stubborn.
"So how long are we gonna be cooped up in here?" an orange Toad asked Toadsworth.
Toadsworth sighed. "I repeat, until the Masters have bested it." He struck his cane angrily on the marble floor. "I beg of you, what else can I tell you!? I'm not psychic!"
"Erm... Toadsworth, a word, if you'd please..."
Toadsworth felt E. Gadd tugging anxiously on his brown overcoat. The look on his face suggested it wasn't a pleasant word.
"Oh, yes, of course. Meanwhile," Toadsworth said, raising his voice for the fifty Toads around him, "I would recommend you return to your businesses, best as you can, keeping your distance from any opening to outside. Now, as you were."
E. Gadd practically dragged him away as the crowd poured out of the room. "Well?" Toadsworth demanded. "What has your gizmo told you?"
The Professor's face was strained, more than Toadsworth had ever seen it. "I'm rather afraid yon Beast won't be 'bested', as you say, anytime soon. Quite frankly, I'm 'fraid it can't be bested at all."
"I do not get you," Toadsworth replied; even though he fearfully did.
"The Beast," declared the Professor, "is immortal. We've nothing we can do- the Castle's as good as done."