Hello everyone,
I hope everyone had a good Winter break/Thanksgiving for us Americans/Christmas/Boxing day for the British/New years for everybody.
Believe it or not this has been sitting in my drafts for a while.
Funny enough, I was at church when I heard a discussion on the beauty of friendship and learning to recognize the humanity of a stranger when I thought "People really need to write more stories about discovering friendship." I practically hit myself when I realized that I had already started one and forgotten to update!
Another reminder. Please click on my profile and weigh in on the three polls I have there. If you want to affect the story line, what stories I cover etc, I need you to reply to the polls, otherwise I don't know what you want. Just click on my name and go to POLLS.
Karameiwaku : It does seem like Uther would be unfeeling to a kid doesn't it. Though not to damage intentionally, I think deep down, he's afraid of interacting with young Arthur in fear of ruining or corrupting him, he also probably hasn't gotten over killing Arthur's mother yet.
Ruby890 : Yeah, you're probably right, Arthur was harsher to Merlin at the beginning than what I've shown, but as most of this story is from his perspective and exploring his personal demons and internal fears, I'm sure he doesn't seem himself as that cruel to Merlin.
Charis77 : AWWW thank you for your detailed review/comments on each chapter. Each time you gave me a real ego boost. I also agree, I'm sure Uther does have personal demons like Arthur, I've often considered writing a short fanfiction exploring Uther's first few years trying to fight the evil sorcerors in camelot and how they abused and hurt people. I imagine what he saw must have scarred him pretty badly.
clh: Now you sir, or ma'am :) You created some of the most intelligent and well thought out reviews! I loved each and every one of them, and even do appreciate that you criticized my writing. I know that how young Arthur was in that scene was a bit young to be thinking that in depth. I think it took me a bit to fix on a particular voice for him. Also, yeah the tutor in the two scenes probably did clash a bit too much. I finally figured out what I wanted to do with him later. You are right, he's not a nice old man, but he isn't evil. In fact he does have Arthur's best interest at heart, at least as far as he is aware. He's a bit old fashioned, but he's really concerned with trying to help toughen Arthur up for the day when his very harsh father is going to take more of an interest in his life and so critique him quite harshly.
Thanks for the reviews everyone. I love reading them. It also inspires me to write more!
On to the plot. Enjoy!
Beth
Previous chapter continued.
7 Years old
The trim of this tunic chafed his neck horribly, Arthur thought. Yet he had to wear the ancient colors of Camelot for this particular ceremony. Visiting dignitaries in fancy dress stood in a rainbow of colors in the great hall. I just have to itch it a little bit, he thought. He surreptitiously inched a finger closer to his neck. Maybe no one would notice.
The stinging slap of his tutor's hand came down on his arm. He cleared his throat, and gave Arthur a keen-eyed stare.
Arthur sourly crossed his arms. His tutor was always watching him like a hawk, and when he was there, he never could get away with anything. They watched as the never-ending parade of people came up to greet his father. He knew his father was important, and these people wanted to come to congratulate his father, but on what exactly? Arthur wasn't sure. Politics, as far as he seemed to observe, seemed to be a lot of people in power slapping each other on the back and bowing to each other, admiring their power and expecting the same in return.
Eventually, the banquet would begin, and at that moment he and the other children would be excused, and that was when he would do it.
He wanted to explore the dungeons because the guards would be at their lowest concentration on the lower levels, all would be needed to guard the hall and gates tonight.
He just needed to slip away from his tutor...but how?
The tutor's firm grasp at the back of his neck brought Arthur back to the present moment.
"Alright, it's time now. Go wish your father a good night."
Arthur dug in the soft tan heels of his leather boots but the tutor' sinewy arms, strong despite his age, sent Arthur stumbling forward.
Arthur walked to the front from the left side of the podium. Noblemen and women turned their heads at his approach and tittered in high pitched voices. Arthur ground his jaw together and focused on not tripping. His little fist tightened around the sword at his waist, a gift from his father at his last birthday.
A pair of noblewomen made little adoring awws of approval to his left, and Arthur felt each sound tighten his nerves like the strings on a harp. He felt half a mind to bolt and run from the chamber.
Risking a glance over his shoulder, the hoary head of his tutor, a good foot over most people in the assembly fixed him with a steely eyed glare that said. You might be afraid now, but if you embarress me in front of your father I will give you a reason to be afraid.
Arthur tore his eyes away from his tutor and looked forward. His father was smiling vaguely at him, and leaned to his side to make some comment to one of the knights who laughed, evidently amused by the observation. At about five paces from his father, Arthur stuck his right foot forward, bent down low and swept over his leg with his free hand. He raised his eyes to his fathers in search of approval and was relieved to see his father relax and step forward. Arthur felt a buzzing in his ears from his nerves and adrenaline.
His father turned to the assembly and said something, but it echoed in his ears like a voice under water.
My son...been learning...quite noble.
Uther stepped forward, placed a warm firm hand on Arthur's thin shoulder and bent low over him.
"Goodnight my boy. You've done me proud tonight." As he straightened up, Uther brushed a finger over Arthur's round cheek and gave the tiniest of smiles.
The simple motion was enough to thrill Arthur with joy and relief. His father approved! He leaned slightly into the weight of his father's firm hand on his shoulder, the weight felt like a stabilizing force in his life. If only...if only he would visit him more, talk to him. As it was, Arthur usually could just watch and admire from afar. Even now Uther pulled back too soon, resuming the pose of noble regent, every inch the King of Camelot.
Arthur took his cue and withdrew from the front, returning to the safety of his tutor's looming presence.
"Well done Arthur." Two large hands settled themselves on his shoulders as he looked out at his father, and the person he really wanted to be around.
As one, the adults all began to seat themselves at the banquet tables, and the various tutors, nursemaids and staff began to usher out the royal progeny. About a dozen or so small children, too young to join the adults in the reverie filed down the hall. Arthur spotted Cedrin, the son of the master of the gaurd. Turning to his tutor, Arthur tugged at his sleeve.
"Is my arm a sword, your highness?" He asked dryly, not looking down.
"No, I..."
"Then why are you trying to draw it? Hmm?"
Arthur frowned in frustration before he saw his tutor's eagle eyes glinting at him from the side.
"You're joking with me."
"Ugh, yes boy. We'll have a long way to go with your sense of humor yet. What do you want?"
"Can I go with Cedrin, his tutor can walk us both to bed, and you won't have to climb those stairs you hate."
"May I."
"May I go with Cedrin, please?" Arthur corrected himself.
Arthur could see that he was considering the idea, he ran a finger along the side of his nose in contemplation.
"Very well, let me see you talk to them so I know that you are taken care of."
Dashing between the crowds of servants approaching the hall with trays loaden with food, Arthur found Cedrin.
Cedrin's tutor was a tall, gangly scholar with red and curly hair. Arthur bowed his head at the scholar in respect.
"Would you mind terribly, watching me for a bit while my tutor runs an errand. He'll be back shortly."
"Not at all!" The young man smiled at the sight of the eager young prince and waved back at Arthur's tutor. He inclined his head gravely in thanks, before warning Arthur with a glare not to give the young man any trouble.
Arthur knew that if he innocently smiled, his tutor, in all his keen wisdom, would know he was up to something, so Arthur simply rolled his eyes in annoyance. Walking shoulder to shoulder with Cedrin, they slipped under the arching entrance to the east wing.
Now all I'll have to do is slip away.
Merlin's POV
A soft line of yellow afternoon sunlight lay across Merlin's face. In confusion he took a step back, blinking away the glare. What day was it, and why was he standing? He didn't know quite why, but he had the impression he had been sleeping. Where had he been sleeping? Finally the bright spots before his eyes began to disappear, and Merlin cast his eyes quickly about in panic. He couldn't exactly remember, but he DID know where he was. He was standing in the great hall, long tables were spread out in some grand feast...no, not just any feast, why did it look so familiar?
An elbow jabbed itself into Merlin's ribs, so sharp and bony that Merlin knew it was Gaius prior to looking.
"Merlin, pay attention to the performance."
"Oww...what perform-" Merlin's voice skittered to a halt as his eyes drifted right. Lady Helen of Mora, Camelot's shining star in the theatrical world, stood far right, radiant in a gown of yellow that blended in with the soft lighting.
Raising her arms elegantly, she began to sing.
From the very first syllable the air on Merlin's neck stood up, tinging with the feeling of intoxicating magic.
Merlin jumped and looked around the room, worried someone had noticed his reaction. However, everyone around him was looking supiciously tired. Heads bobbed, some more slowly than others, and bodies slumped over the expensive feast.
Magic.
Now, was he vulnerable? Hard to say, Merlin had been resistant to other forms of magic before, but just in case, Merlin put his hands over his ears and cast a spell of muting over them.
Why was Lady Helen doing this?!
The entrancing figure slowly stepped off her pedestal and down between the tables, not looking at the impressive effects of her spells. No, the woman's eyes were locked with feline intensity on the figures opposite her.
The royal family.
Merlin squeezed his ears even tighter and looked first over to the royal table, slowly buried between a thickening burial shroud of webs and then back at Lady Helen.
The hatred burning in those eyes could topple mountains Merlin felt, and shuddered, but it was not in fear of her spell, he felt his magic call out to him consolingly to let him know he was safe and capable of defending himself, he shuddered in fear of the emotion. That any human could have that level of primal hatred was horrifying to Merlin. People are better than that. People SHOULD be better than that.
The timbre of Lady Helen's voice shifted into a higher tone, growing shriller as she stalked forward, side to side, swaying like a snake.
It was then, in disbelief, Merlin realized her target. Prince Arthur. She was trying to kill the King's son!
She pulled a knife out of her belt, and raised her arm aloft, as the song rose to its final cresendo.
Merlin felt a strange pull, and his magic screamed at him to save the Prince's life. As he would save anyone's life...
The singer flung the blade, the silver dagger tearing the air.
YOU HAVE TO SAVE HIM. YOU NEED TO. YOU MUST.
IF I LET HIM DIE, UTHER WILL HAVE NO HEIR. TIME WILL BRING THAT MURDERER'S REIGN TO AN END.
MERLIN NO!
BE QUIET
Merlin stood still and watched it happen, stifling the inner voice inside.
The blade thudded into the Prince's chest with perfect accuracy, straight into his heart.
The hollow thud of the blade's handle hitting his chest jolted Merlin back to reality, and it was as if a veil was pulled from his eyes and he could see again. Merlin looked with horror at what he had done.
What did I do! I let him die.
Lady Helen of Mora turned and looked at him, and a horrible grin cracked her face, instantly the visage of a beautiful woman vanished in a flash of wind and light. She cackled triumphantly, her hand pointed accusingly at Merlin.
"Look at what you have done Emrys, look at what your actions have wrought. Freedom for our kind, and death to such as these!"
The euphoric shrieking, or perhaps the weight of what he had done knocked Merlin backwards onto the ground in shock.
"Death to all who keep company with such a king!" The now old woman cast a spell, setting the webs aflame, trapping the comatose nobles in a horrific sleeping death, helpess as the flames licked at them.
Merlin tried to get up from the ground in a panic, but a strong force held him down.
"No!" He screamed.
Merlin's POV
"Yes it is, Merlin, you can't just contradict me you know." The annoying voice of the prince cut through the black behind Merlin's eyes.
Merlin shot up from the hard forest floor in alarm.
Over head the silvery leaves danced, and a fresh spring scent of mulch and grass told Merlin that he was still in the forest. That means I am in the forest, looking for answers about Lady Viviennes claims of being with child...with Arthur. ARTHUR
Merlin sat up, rubbing at his face vigorously to wipe away the grogginess, and the memory of that horrific nightmare.
Arthur stood watching him already dressed, jaw clenched, and eyebrow raised in annoyance.
"What?" Merlin asked groggily, running a hand through his rather disordered hair, and squinting up him.
"You know I could have you executed for that." Arthur said blandly.
"For what?" Irritation slipping into Merlin's voice.
Merlin was already starting to feel less guilty for letting Arthur die in that dream.
"For contradicting me. I said, it's time to get moving, and you said...no, well you shouted it actually. "
Merlin grunted in response as he pulled off his blanket.
The campfire was already doused and scattered over the forest floor but all of the Prince's bed roll and supplies lay scattered about.
"I didn't know it was possible for a human to sleep so long. I had half a mind to leave you here." Arthur said sarcastically.
Merlin straightened up with hands on hips and looked back at Arthur. "I didn't know you could dress yourself, what, finally took lessons from a four year old?"
The Prince snorted and turned away to put on his cape.
"At least," Arthur called over his shoulder. "A four year old would be a more competent servant than you."
"I see your sense of humor is returning my lord." Merlin said, in
"Yes, it's hard not to when attended by a court fool."
Merlin laughed in disbelief at his constant attempts to belittle. Things like that had so little effect on him, especially after a rather hard and lonely childhood. Even as his loneliness grew as a child, magic had filled that place in his heart with power and confidence. Like a burning coal it was always there and glowing, reaffirming his self worth and his place in the world.
Merlin just scoffed at the prince and rolled up his bedroll, unaware of the confusion in the eyes watching him.
That nightmare, it did worry him a bit.
Merlin supposed it did mirror his subconscious a bit. Part of him wondered if it would have been more convenient if Arthur had died, because then he could use his gifts for good in anyway he saw fit, instead of shackled to Arthur's dead weight.
Did he wonder if he should have let him die?
A small twig snagged onto the underside of the wool cloth, and temporarily cut down the line of question while Merlin removed it. Once done, he rolled it up and tied it to his horse's pack.
Did I think about letting him die?
Merlin's conscious pricked him a bit for the idea that he had even considered it. Merlin abhored death and killing of any kind. No, Merlin realized, he had not really considered letting Arthur die.
He knew that he would save him, just as he would save every creature from death if he possibly could.
A life is a life, no matter how prattish the person is to which that life belongs.
Arthur's POV
"So, where do we go first?"
Merlin asked, as he bounced rather ridiculously on top his horse.
Arthur shook his head, Merlin would never have the graceful ride of a great horseman.
"To Lord Thurmond's estate."
"So, are we going to just ride up to the front gate?"
"Yes, of course. I will gather information from his household."
"I mean, that letter he wrote your father sounded rather angry. Are you sure that's wise?"
"Of course." Arthur said, pressing his lips into a thin line.
Why couldn't he just keep his mouth shut like other servants?
"What if he takes your head off with an axe or something. You just walked through the door and FWOOM"
"He would not dare, he fears my father too much."
Merlin hmmmed doubtfully.
Good maybe he's done tal-
"What if he poisons you?" Merlin said.
"Again he fears and respects my father too much to dare doing that."
"Would he? I mean, I wouldn't put it past him, he IS a father after all."
"Merlin."
"A father who suspects you of robbing his daughter's virtue."
"Merlin."
"Maybe he would have an assassin do it overnight. The castle might have secret passages. Yeah, that's how I'd do it."
" Just leave the thinking to me Merlin, I don't want you to hurt yourself too much," Arthur frowned in sudden realization, " and what is with you thinking of ways I might die!"
Merlin quieted after that, suddenly intent on the road up ahead.
It was all just as well, Arthur knew he needed time to prepare what he was going to say to Lord Thurmond, and who in the household he might ask for information.
He did not have long though, as the trees thinned and the road began to even out from the greater flow of traffic. Soon they came out of the trees in a valley beneath a small hill where the squat, gray, rather ugly, but infamously sturdy stronghold of Lord Thurmond stood.
Many wars in Camelot had been won or lost, depending over who had control of the keep's thick walls. Some scholars even thought that the old castle might have been Camelot's original capital city, or a sorceror's keep.
Merlin whistled approvingly.
"That, is one large house for one family."
Arthur drew up his horse's reins and leaned backwards.
"Well, Lord Thurmond helped my father rid Camelot of the scourge of magic, even saved his life on a few occasions, or so my Tutor told me."
"If they were that close you'd think your father would be pleased at the prospect of marriage between you and the Lady Vivienne."
"Well, not only the idea of a natural birth being a disgrace, father will want me to marry a king's daughter most likely. Unite our kingdom with another and secure Camelot from the likes of Cenred. Anyway, I think they had a falling out years ago."
"What about?" Merlin asked, his blue eyes lit up with curiosity.
Arthur didn't know, but his manservant wasn't entitled to that information, and letting people what he didn't know only made him appear weaker.
So, Arthur clicked his tongue, spurring his horse forward and keeping silent.
Hope you all enjoyed that.
Feel free to weigh in on those polls to affect what stories I tell in this fanfiction.
Beth