A/N: This chapter is written in Edwards POV! Sorry it's so short. So I'll try for Sunday? Maybe Monday? For the next update. I don't know. It all depends on...

I also put up a poll to which story I should work on next! So make sure you go over and help me out!

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

Nine Months

Chapter 5

"November"

Edward's POV

I didn't know what her reaction would be to my confession.

When I met Bella in September, I was amazing to find that I couldn't read her mind. It was like she had put up some sort of barrier, a brick wall of some sorts, preventing me to dwell deep within her sub-conscious. This girl interested me- curiosity for humans, perhaps- which allowed me to keep an eye on her. When I had asked Carlisle the reason behind her mind, he told me a theory about an invisible ability called Mind Shield. He went on to tell me that not only could I not touch her with my ability, but everybody else with one couldn't either. However, when Alice told me she saw Bella's future then my mind started to fill with questions. I had learned that Bella only blocks physical abilities which meant that both Alice and Jasper still had an effect on her.

I found her… different from the other teenage girls in the school. She wasn't those types of girls that cared about looks and whatnot, although, I did hear that she used to be friends with that Jessica girl until her sudden disappearance back when she was thirteen. Now, Bella was no longer qualified to be Jessica's friend since she didn't acquire the looks.

The Men were the same. They only seemed to care about one thing when it came to women, physical appearances. I guess the women thought I was included in that group. Many girls have tried to grab my attention using their large breasts in over-done makeup, and because of my ability to read minds, I've come across a far few that made me shiver and wince in disgust. The things that went through those girl's minds, it was nothing but a pure image of pleasure and lust. Craving for a man's filthy hands to move over their bodies and use them like a toy, a possession, it made me ill.

It wasn't until I ran into Bella at the hospital when she started to grab my attention even more. I already knew her name, but I didn't want to come off like one of those people who appeared on America's Most Wanted as a full-time stalker. I didn't want to scare her away. I knew had become obsessed with her well-being. All I wanted to do was protect her and when I wasn't doing that, I was in a constant paranoia.

When she told me her reason for being at the hospital, I knew right away she was lying. It wasn't hard to catch. It was like she didn't want me to know the truth because it would hurt me. She was right because when I met up with her again at the hospital in October, I knew something was deeply wrong.

It was her scent at first that threw me off. It had been filled with something toxic, disguising her natural scent. At the beginning, her blood wasn't like any other I've smelled before. It was mouth-watering. I fought for a while to control my urges to just sink my teeth into her ivory skin, dropping into abyss from the delicious aroma of her blood. But now she had a hint of some sort of radiation, like she had been in a microwave for long periods of time. Then I found out the truth from accidently reading Carlisle's mind.

Bella was dying from Leukemia.

I was aware Carlisle knew this about the girl for a while, but I guess I was too interested and focused on getting to know her that I didn't pay attention to his thoughts.

I didn't know how to react to her condition. I never thought it would be so serious and what scared me the most was the little time she had left until death came to take her away. She was more fragile than any normal human; she was like a hundred year old China doll. If touched in wrong, the body would shatter into a million pieces.

It was wrong finding out the truth from Carlisle, but I felt better knowing. I could protect her even more from those who would try to harm her. I could keep her safe. Comfort her when life was too rough. But would I be able to protect her from myself? I didn't want to be the one that caused her an early death. Just one touch, one hug, could end her. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happened. I didn't want her to die. If only there was a simple way of saving her. Unless…no, I couldn't do that to her. If I told her what I was, she…she would be scared. It was futile. It would be impossible.

I think when she asked me out was the point when I realized that I might be falling for this girl. To me, she was radiating with beauty beyond anything I've seen throughout my years. How could I not say yes to her? Then when I kissed her, all I wanted to do was take her then and there, mindless of her condition. Her lips were dry and cracked but the rate of passion attributed with the kiss was what made me drawn to it more, to her more.

But I was shocked however when she pushed away saying that tonight was a mistake and she never wanted to see me again. I could tell she was confused with the fact that she probably had the same feelings I had towards her, but I could also feel the fear transmitting off of her. I think it was why she told me those words.

For the next few weeks, I made sure to keep my distance from her. I didn't want to cause her any distress from the situation. I knew I had to tell her what I was hiding and the truth before it was too late. The gut quenching feeling I got was unbearable for those weeks and especially when I returned, I couldn't even look at her. When she spoke, it was like music to my ears. I fought myself to not take her into my arms and just straight up tell her my true feelings for her.

It was when we were standing outside under the oak tree on the field of the high school when I knew the time was right. It was now or never. She apologized to me for that night weeks ago and truthfully, I was never upset. I was positive that she thought I was the one who was upset with the situation, not the other way around.

I was glad that she said she trusted me, but I wasn't content of telling her the truth would be right. That perhaps I should wait for her to tell me. Still, the pitiful feeling in my stomach would only annoy me more. So I just told her.

Bella's reaction wasn't…she didn't seem surprised that I knew. I guess in her mind she was probably thinking that Carlisle told me some way or another but he really didn't. I found out myself. Was she upset that I knew? Yes. I could tell it bothered her that I knew before she could tell me.

"How did you find out?" she asked, her voice nothing but a low whisper slowly fading into darkness. She was angry.

"I found out myself," I answered, plainly, shortly, like I was doing a sucky job interview.

"How long?"

"A month, perhaps longer."

She nodded slowly, her eyes drifting away towards the landscape of the area like she was trying to find an answer in the thickness of the forest. Her heartbeat quickened like the wings of a hummingbird, trying to fly through the mess of the situation, only to get stuck. I could see it in her eyes that she was starting to panic.

Then she started to walk away from me. I didn't know what drove me to it, but I couldn't just let her go. "Bella," I called to her. She stopped, pausing, hesitated on what to do. "Meet me after school. I want…I want to tell you something."

She only nodded, never turning, before walking away again and disappearing from my sight.

For the next few periods, I ended up skipping, departing into the forest for a quick hunt. It helped get my mind off the hectic situation I was in with the girl of my dreams.

I've always loved the rush when I sped through the forest floors. The feeling of adrenaline bolt through my body was the most amazing feeling. This was one of the only reasons I liked about being a vampire.

When I returned back to the school I found Bella by my car, causally waiting. I couldn't believe she came. "Hey," I greeted her, smiling slightly.

Her eyes looked at my form up and down, expressionless. "Hey, so what did you want to talk about?"

"Get in, there's somewhere I want to take you."

I drove us to one of my favorite spots, the one spot I go to escape from the world. This spot was to me like a child to his fortress- secretive, excusive.

It was a simple meadow located in the middle of the dense forest, cased with many wild flowers, blue and purple, spreading across the vast terrain. Of course being the start of November, those flowers would be non-existent and in the middle of hibernation. The only thing in the meadow now would be that of the tall grass, a perfect home to small animals and insects. Still, the place never failed to show some sort of beauty.

"Why did you bring me here," she asked when we arrived.

"I wanted to show you that even though this place may be different, it's still beautiful. Like you."

"So you brought me here to tell me that I remind you of a dead meadow?"

I chuckled. "The meadow isn't dead, Bella, only hidden. Once spring comes, this meadow will come alive once again."

"Edward, I understand what you are saying but, I'm not going to spring up with flowers and get better. My cancer is terminal and I only have several months left."

"I know, but…that wasn't the reason why I brought you here."

She blinked. "Then why?"

My hand touched her face gently, rubbing the skin with my thumb. Her eyes locked with mine, filling me with warmth and happiness. "I am in love with you Bella Swan."

Then she grew sad, and stepped back, shaking her head slowly. "Edward…you can't feel that way about me."

I stepped towards her, narrowing the distance between us again. "And why not?"

"You should know why!" she said, raising her voice over mine.

"You think I can't be with you because of your cancer? Bella, I don't care about that! I would be with you even if you were healthy. I would be with you if you were on your death bed! I can care less what your situation is. All I care about it being with you, and you know what; I bet you feel the same."

She looked stunned, and she should be. I just poured my heart out to her, confessing my deep feelings for her. "Edward," her voice nothing but a whisper, "I can't…I just, I can't feel that way for anyone right now. I don't want them to..."

I understood what she was getting at. Her fears were surfacing. "You don't want to cause anyone pain when you leave."

Her head nodded. It was too late for that. She already knew I was going to feel that lose, that pain of a loved one's death.

"Then you should know that I am already going to feel that," I answered. Her head shot up to meet my eyes. "Bella, it's too late for me to change my feelings about you. Just let me be with you until the end."

She bit her lip, one of the many things I loved about her. "Why me?" she asked.

"Fate, I suppose."

"Fate sure has a strange way of changing lives quickly."

I chuckled, taking her face within my palms. "You have no idea."

Then I kissed her, sealing our love for each other. I knew it wasn't going to be easy.

But we had to at least try.