Disclaimer Like, my guys Deanie, Romie and Sethie are like not really mine (though they should be, 'cause I just love me some Shield!) So, don't sue me! Okay? And in this story, Shield never broke up 'cause that gave me a big sad and so I'm IGNORING THAT BREAK UP AND YOU SHOULD TOO WHEN YOU READ THIS!
Sparkleshine Sue Sugar is mine thou, so don't steal her! Even thou you'll want to, 'cause she's so AWESOME! LOLLOLLOL!
Author's notes: I'M TIRED OF PEOPLE BEING MEAN TO ME! So, instead of what I was going to do in this chapter, like deal with the whole, thing of Sparkleshine having to FAKE lose, I'm doing something else instead. YOU WANT TO LEAVE A MEAN AND CRUEL REVIEW? Well, I'll get my REVENGE! So, TWILIGHTLOVER (everyone knows Twilight sux) THIS chapter is for YOU.
The Road To Her Hart (Hart like Brett, cute, right?)
Chapter Six - Oh Yeah? Take Take That!
Bye the time it was time to film Smackdown, Sparkleshine still didn't know what she was going to do! She did know that she was sad! But she pushed all that sad behind her, because the most important thing in the world was the show and she knew it.
Of course Sparkleshine and Shield were the MAIN EVENT, what else could they be. All night through all the boring and stupid matches, the announcers kept saying, "Yes, Sparkleshine and THE BOIS OF SHIELD will be on the show, relax, people, just relax. Because all day that's all anyone could talk about on twitter. And everyone's signs at the show said really nice things about Sparkleshine. Like "U R THE COOLEST, SPARKLESHINE!" and "MARRY ME SPARKLESHINE!" and "SPARKLESHINE is THE PRETTIEST MEMBER OF SHIELD!" One sign even said that Sparkleshine had prettier hair than ROMAN. So, Roman sneaked down took that sign from them and beat them over the head and shoulders with it. Roman could be really touchy about his hair. When Sparkleshine saw this, she laughed, because the sign was true, her sunshine yellow hair was prettier than Roman's. Just slightly, but better is better.
So, other events happened and they were pretty boring. The only thing that was sort of interesting was that Nattie came out and fought the pale chick. And she won, which she should, because she's prettier than pale Page. I think the Twins were right to try to give Page a tan, Page looks like a vampire and everyone knows that ONLY FREAKS like Vampires. Especially the TWILIGHT vampires, that sparkle. Vampires don't sparkle, vampires are icky and stupid. When Sparkleshine watched this back stage she made a mental note in her head to tell Vince and HHH to order Page to go to a spray tan place. And to tell her she couldn't wear black anymore, because Sparkleshine's new ring gear to be in Shield was black so none of those other divas should be allowed to wear black.
Punk came out and had a match with someone who doesn't matter because Punk won. AJ came running out after he won and threw her arms around him and they kissed and it was SO romantic! Because they are TOTALLY IN LOVE! The audience was just filled with aww, over it.
There was a bunch of commercials for stupid things, including Olive Garden. But Olive Garden isn't nearly as good as it used to be, so they should take that money they spend on stupid ads and use it to make their food better. Even the bread sticks aren't what they used to be. But when they got back from the commercials, Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar were in the ring, Brock shifting from foot to foot, trying to look all tough and angry, but every once in awhile, a grin would sneak on his ugly face as he thought that he would soon see Sparkleshine.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NAME IS PAUL HEYMAN!" Walrus Man began, because again, that phobia of his. "AND I AM THE ADVOCATE FOR THE BEAST INCARNATE, BAAARRRRROOOOCCCCCKKKKK LLLLLLLEEESSSSSSNAAAAAAAAR!" He started to say some other things, but the people running the show decided he was just too boring so suddenly the loudspeakers echoed with:
SIERRA!
HOTEL
INDIA
ECHO
LIMA
DELTA!
SHIELD!
And the NEW AND IMPROVED SHIELD, now with SPARKLESHINE had to scramble to get to the door to come down through the crowd because they thought they had a little more time.
Dean and Seth came down one side and Roman and Sparkleshine went down the other. Sparkleshine's BRAND NEW ring gear was awesome. She was wearing black shorts, but they had glitter in them. And pretty pink rhinestones that spelled out Sparkleshine around her butt, which looked HAWT. Above she wore something that looked like a cross between a vest and a sports bra, also in glittery black. Her boots were just to die for, sparkly black with shiny pink laces. She looked so put together.
When they were right at the barrier, Seth gave a quick wave and nod to CutiePie, because she was there and she looked really hot too. Seth wondered if he was falling for her. 'I wonder if I'm falling for her,' he thought to himself.
They got in the ring, and Brock forgot he was the BEAST INCARNAT and ran over to hug Sparkleshine, which made the audience all surprised and stuff. "BROCK!" Sparkleshine hissed in her ear, "You can't hug me! We're supposed to be all angry and stuff at each other."
"Oh crap, I forgot!" Brock said, so he pretended the hug was an excuse to lift her up. He lifted her up and made like he was going to throw her to the floor. Dean and Roman rushed forward all surprised and stuff and stopped him, Dean kicking Brock in the small of his back so he dropped her and Roman catching her as if she was light as a feather, Sparkleshine landing in his arms.
"This feels good, babygirl," Roman said, holding her just a little longer than he should, because it felt so good to have her in his arms.
"Roman..." Sparkleshine said, her voice all filled with both husky turned on tones and sorrow. "We have to do the show."
"I know," Roman said, and a tear, one perfect tear like a sparkling diamond made out of tear-juice rolled down his cheek in a really DRAMATIC fashion. He put her down gently, as if she were made of some beautiful and expensive type of glass. Then he brushed a stray lock of her white blonde hair out of her eyes. The audience got mushy for a second and more "awwwws!" filled the arena.
The pretty blond chick was in the ring, and just as she was start to announcing all that boring stuff, like height and weights and all of that, the song Who Let The Dogs Out (stupidest song EVAH) started playing. Everyone looked up to the ramp, wondering what the hell was going on.
'What's going on?' Roman wondered.
'What's going on?' Seth thought.
"Ladies and Gentlemen!" Paul Heyman bellowed, "My name is Paul Heyman, and my client, BAAARRROOCCCKKKK LESSSNARRRRRR and I were wondering, "What the hell is going on?"
'I don't care who let the dogs out,' Dean though. 'I just want to shoot them.'
But Sparkleshine knew! Deep in her heart she knew! So she wasn't too surprised when the ugliest person to walk on the planet, possibly the ugliest person to walk in ANY planet EVER came to the end of the ramp and just snorted like a bull.
"So, Twilightlover!" Sparkleshine called out, her voice amazingly calm considering that this was the ugliest person EVER staring at her. "We meet again!"
"Ew!" Roman turned away. "This Twilightlover is so MAGNIFICENTLY ugly that I can't even LOOK at them!"
Seth leaped out of the ring to make sure CutiePie was all right, that this DISGUSTING thing hadn't like burned out her eyeballs or something. But CutiePie had wisely pulled out a pair of Gucci Gold plated Avatar sunglasses and put them on, which helped a lot. "Thank you for being worried about me," CutiePie said, and gave Seth a quick kiss.
Seth turned all red and stuffs, because CutiePie kissed him. "I just was WORRIED," he said. "But if you're okay, I should go back and stand with my friends against this vicious monster."
"Cool, you do that," CutiePie agreed because she was a very agreeable person. Unless you wronged her, then she'd take you OUT. But right now, no one was wronging her, so she was agreeable. And very cool, too. Seth grinned to her and then jumped back in the ring.
"So, here you are AGAIN, Sparkleshine!" Twilightlover bellowed. "TYPICAL of you!"
"I could say the SAME thing about YOU!" Sparkleshine shouted back. "You ugly TROLL!" And yeah, that was mean for Sparkleshine to say, but Twilightlover really was ugly. First, you couldn't tell if it was male or female because it was so fat. Even its fat had fat, that's how fat it was. And it's hair was long, but scraggly and thin and the MOUSIEST brown color you ever saw. So mousy that even MICE would go, "Wow, your hair is colored BORING." They were wearing Gucci ring gear, but it might as well have been wearing something from Walmart for all the GOOD it did them. There was nothing about Twilightlover that sparkled or glittered. It were just ugly and gross and disgusting. Drool was coming out of its mouth, making its chin all shiny. GROSS shiny though. "I see you still like Twilight, you looser. Sparkling vampires are STUPID!"
"You know this person?" Roman asked, horrified. "You have been around things this ugly and yet you still are beautiful and HAWT? You are even more amazing than I thought you were. Every time I think you have hit the limit of amazing, you prove to be even MORE amazing. And Hawt."
"I have a lot of resistance." Sparkleshine said. She didn't take her eyeballs off Twilight Lover, even though she wanted to puke at just the site of it "And yeah, I know I'm amazing."
"Is it a guy or a girl?" Dean asked. "And damn, why don't I have my GUN when I need it?"
"No one ever got close enough to figure it OUT." Sparkleshine said. "But we suspect it's female."
"Twilightlover made a bunch of really disgusting noises, and almost bit off parts of its tongue it was so angry. "Everyone knows Twilight is the BEST literature EVER!" it said, bits of angry spit foam spraying about as it spoke. "The best MOVIES too."
"Oh PU-LEASE!" Sparkleshine said, rolling her silver blue eyes. "Twilight suck, you suck, Team Edward sucks, Team Jacob sucks and Bella is a HORRIBLE Mary Sue without one REDEAMING quality. JUST. LIKE. YOU!" She said the last three words with a punch at the end. It was so dramatic that people in the audience cheered.
"Be careful, Babygirl," Roman said, stepping closer, getting ready to PROTECT her if he had to.
"It's cool, Romie," Sparkleshine said, looking at him with all this tenderness in her eyes and stuff. "I've dealt with it before."
"WHAT?" Twilight lover roared and bellowed, looking for all the world like a bellowing beast. "You DARE insult TWILIGHT?"
"Yeah, I do," Sparkleshine said. "Why are you here, Twilightlover? Why are you, as usual, trying to rain on my sparkle?!"
Twilightlover started toward the ring. Two security dudes tried to stop it, but Twilightlover just ate them. Just picked them up as if they were chocolate bunnies and shoved them into its gaping maw. As it chewed, you could hear bones snapping. It was disgusting.
"STOP THAT!" Sparkleshine ordered. "YOU CAN'T EAT PEOPLE!"
"FUCK YOU!" Twlightlover roared, "I'll do what I WANT!"
"Wasn't it enough that you told LIES about me in HIGH SCHOOL, TWILIGHTLOVER?" Sparkleshine shouted back, "You told all the MEAN girls that I gave KADEN a BLOWJOB behind the school when I did NO SUCH THING!"
"That wasn't ME!" Twlightlover screamed and ate another security person who tried to stop it. "I keep TELLING you that was NICHOL WATTSON!"
"No WAY!" Sparkleshine disagreed. "Nicki-nick was my BESTIE, she'd never say that. It was YOU TWILIGHTLOVER!"
"No!" Twilight was up to the ring by now and it huffed and wheezed its way into the ring.
"Eww!" Roman said, grabbing his nose. "It stinks!"
"Oh god, I'm puking in my MOUTH!" Dean roared. He was so upset and so afraid he'd puke more that he ran off.
"It smells like every old DEAD thing rolled into a ball and then soaked in POOP!" Seth exclaimed.
*THUD* Lesnar keeled over in a dead faint.
"Ladies and Gentlemen," Paul bellowed, "My name is Paul Heyman, and this... Twlightlover smells so revolting that my client, BAAARRROOCCCCCKKKKK LESSSNAR, just passed out."
"So, why are you here, Twatlightlover?" Sparkleshine asked, trying to breathe through her mouth so she didn't have to SMELL this REVOLTING creature.
"Because I'm going to destroy you once and for all!" Twitlightlover roared. "I wasn't the one who told everyone you gave Kaden a BLOWJOB, but I have tried to destroy you, and you always find a way out!"
"Oh?" Sparkleshine did not look impressed. "Why do you want to destroy me? Destroying ME won't make YOU any less DISGUSTING!"
"Because you SUCK!" Twerplightlover roared. "You RUINED my life when we were in HIGH SCHOOL!"
"Oh please!" Sparkleshine said dismissively, waving her hand in a dismissing fashion. "How did I ruin your life?"
"Let's start with MARSHAL?" Twilightlover roared. "You remember MARSHAL, don't you?"
"Marshal Melo?" Sparkleshine said, thinking hard to remember. "Oh god, yeah, I went out with him like three days back in the ninth grade. God, that was so long ago. Almost five years."
"I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM!" Twilightlover bellowed. "AND YOU STOLE HIM!"
"No, I didn't," Sparkleshine said, shaking her head in disagreement. And the audience all went, "ooooh" making that noise to show they supported Sparkleshine. "He never liked you. NO ONE liked you!"
"He did too!" Twatlightlover protested. "He did until you STOLE him and TWISTED his mind."
"I didn't twist anything," Sparkleshine said, letting her eyeballs roll again in a dismissive fashion. "Didn't his family move to another town?"
"Yeah," Twilightlover said, looking smug as it crossed its fat ugly arms over its fat ugly chest, "Amazing how easy it is to arrange things like that when your father is RICH and OWNS THE WHOLE STATE!"
Sparkleshine stared at Twlightlover in surprise. "You got Marshal transferred because he asked me out?"
Twilightlover nodded it's fat ugly head, and one of its many chins wobbled. "Of course I did. When your Daddy is RICH and OWNS THE WHOLE STATE you pretty much get what you want. Why do you think your parents had to keep moving to all those terrible neighborhoods with all the Earthquakes and Tornadoes and Floods were happening?
Sparkleshine's eyes got extra wide in their eyeball sockets. "That was YOU?"
Twilightlover nodded again. "Yeah. My dad owned ALL THE APARTMENT buildings and he made sure that the only places your parents could rent were places in areas where natural disasters struck."
"And they could never get a mortgage!" Sparkleshine said, horror making her eyes even wider as she realized how EVIL Twilightlover truly was. She thought she had heard the worst, but she didn't know. If she had, she might have cried a little. "Because your dad owned all the banks."
"Yep!" Twilight lover looked smug. "But my dad did help your dad get that one mortgage, remember?"
"Yeah," Sparkleshine said, hotly, her voice hot with anger. "I remember that house. It was on the top of an ACTIVE VOLCANO! We didn't own it for six months before it got burned up! Thank God we were all camping when it-" Her voice trailed off. "The-the camping trip.. where the bear... the big huge, abnormally FAT bear ate my DAD, right in FRONT OF MY EYEBALLS!"
"Bear suits are cheap when your dad is a bazillionare," Twilightlover said, smugly.
"Wait a moment," Roman said, moving closer to Sparkleshine who was starting to cry, but it was the pretty type of crying, like TV actresses do, not the ugly crying where your skin gets all blotchy and stuff. "You dressed up like a bear and ate Sparkleshine's dad?"
"Duh!" Twilightlover said, staring at Roman as if he was stupid. VERY HOT but stupid. "That's not all I did either!" it went on to say, "I told Jayden Sparkleshine already HAD a date to the prom. I was hoping he'd ask me, but he didn't, he asked that STUPID McKenzie Flosner, but still, the idea that SPARKLESHINE sat ALONE in her house on PROM NIGHT was worth it."
"That has to be the BITCHIEST thing someone could do!" Roman shouted, all horrified. "Bad enough you did all those other mean things, but to ruin her PROM night?"
"But I DIDN'T stay home alone," Sparkleshine said, triumph creeping into her voice. "I went to the prom with Brian Smith!"
"NO!" Twilightlover looked aghast and horrified. "NO! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SIT HOME AND BE MISERABLE!" It screamed all angry and crap. "IF I COULDN'T GO TO PROM THEN YOU COULDN'T EITHER!"
"Sorry," Sparkleshine said, shrugging her shoulders. "Went with Brian. Even had a great time. I would have rather it was Jayden, 'cause he had that cute Beiber hair, but Brian was pretty nice and shit."
"Well I've HAD ENOUGH of YOU!" Twilightlover roared, because this story was getting way too long and needed to be wrapped up. "And THIS time I will TAKE YOU OUT FOR GOOD!" Then Roman Reigns will love ME!"
Roman's lip curled up in a sneer. "ME? Love YOU? Don't make me laugh." And he laughed anyway because it was funny. "I don't know what you are, but let's put it this way. On a scale of 1-10 I am a twelve and you are a negative BAZILLION." And even though he found it disgusting, revolting and smelly, Roman forced himself to walk up and look into it's beady, ugly eyes. "DO THE FUCKING MATH!" he screamed in its face.
"GARRRR!" Twilight lover growled and got ready to attack Sparkleshine. "Even if Roman doesn't want me, I still want to kill you!"
Sparkleshine braced herself, knowing this would be the TOUGHEST FIGHT ever.
"HEY TWATLIGHTLOVER!" Someone yelled.
Everyone, including Twilightlover turned and looked. At the top of the ramp was Dean and he had a GUN in his hand. "What do YOU want?" Twilightlover screamed.
"You're a dog," Dean said, coming down the ramp. "An ugly, mean, dog. And you were CRUEL to Sparkleshine."
"SO? Twilightlover roared, not caring. "What are YOU going to do about it?"
"I'm going to shoot you!" Dean held up the gun.
"NO!" Sparkleshine shouted, because even though Twilightlover deserved to die just for being so damned ugly, never mind all the ugly things it did, Sparkleshine had COMPASSION. She didn't want Twilightlover to die, she would much rather she went to prison and had a very LONG and MISERABLE life. Because real prison? Is not like that crap you see in Orange in the New Black. Real prison SUCKS. And Sparkleshine liked the idea of Twilightlover having a very long, very sucky life.
But Dean wasn't listening. He held up the gun and pointed it right at Twilightlover's ugly face, pulled back the trigger and FIRED!
Everyone gasped in horror and then looked surprised. Instead of bullets and Twilightlover's brains spraying about the place, the rifle was spraying a stream of brown stuff. It landed on Twilightlover's UGLY face, not making it look any more attractive. It roared then began licking at the brown stuff. "GRAVY!" It screamed. "BEEF GRAVY!" Something that might have been a smile overtook it's ugly puss, not making it look any less ugly. But it licked at the gravy, then pointed at its open mouth, indicating it wanted more gravy. "MORE! MORE! FEED ME MORE!"
"That's IT Ryback screamed from somewhere. "I'm SUING that peice of crap!"
Suddenly, Punk and some of the other wrestlers were up in the ring. "Okay!" Punk said, taking charge. "We've got to take this... THING down now! While it's distracted with Dean's gravy, we have to jump it and knock it down."
"But won't we get poisoned if we TOUCH it?" Bray Wyatt said, his lips curled n a sneer. "Like one of those toads or something that just the stuff oozing on the SKIN will poison you?
"That's a chance we have to take!" Punk said. "We have to do it, if not for us, for SPARKLESHINE!" Then, he quickly added. "Who I think is beautiful, but not nearly as beautiful as my wonderful wife AJ who I LOVE WITH ALL MY HART!"
"I"ll help!" Roman cried.
"Me too!" Seth said.
"I can't let you guys do this without me!" Sparkleshine said, all touched and stuff that these people were willing to risk their lives and likely ruin their clothes for her. "I must help!"
"Can't keep distracting her," Dean shouted. "Gravy is gonna run out, soon!"
"Let's GO Then!" Sparkleshine shouted and they all jumped Twilightlover. Sparkleshine leaped high in the air and came down feet first and landed on Twilightlover's head. The other guys all grabbed onto it, doing their best to ignore the stench. Then, the cops came running down with chains and they chained up Twilightlover, like the ANIMAL it was.
"Wow," Michael Cole said. "That was pretty exciting.
"I'll say!" JBL agreed.
End of Chapter Six.
Author's Notes: Leave me a BAD review and YOU WILL get PUNISHED! Hah hah! Take THAT Twilightlover. (Twilight sucks too. I wasn't just SAYING that in the story, it SUCKS Major Sparkly Vampires are SO STUPID.)
Real Author's Notes: I don't know if you really did mean what you said, Twilightlover, or if you were just going in the spirit of the story. If you were going in the spirit of the story, I hope you can appreciate this chapter. If you were serious? Oops, my bad!