Price of the Past

A/N: I've said it before but it bears repeating – I couldn't have done this story without help from Gibbsredhoodie and Kesterpan and all their handholding and bunny storming; and one line in here about Shannon and Kelly, I shamelessly nicked from a discussion with Kesterpan... so thank you, ma'am!

Chapter 6 – Answers

The door opening forestalled any further conversation as Maddie entered the room, closely followed by Gibbs who looked over at Abby and Tony, his face carefully neutral as he tried to judge their mood.

Abby rushed over to pull Maddie into a hug and the young woman looked startled for a moment before warmly returning it, laughing as she tried to answer Abby's rapid-fire questions about how she felt.

When Abby pulled back, she looked between Gibbs and Tony, seeing the guarded expression on both men's faces. "Maddie... I'll walk with you out to the car. Erm, the boys will follow... right?"

Tony nodded but didn't take his eyes off Gibbs. "Yeah... be right behind ya, Abbs."

Maddie must have picked up on some of the tension in the air because she glanced between Gibbs and Tony, her smile fading and a look of uncertainty taking its place. But before she could say anything, Abby looped her arm through Maddie's and began walking them to the door, talking all the time. With one worried glance over her shoulder, Abby shut the door behind her, leaving the two men alone.

Gibbs had been trying to read Tony's mood during Abby's greeting to Maddie and for once, it wasn't easy.

Tony had as many masks as he did and they were just as effective when the younger man used them. If he could characterise it at all, he'd label Tony's expression as wary and expectant, perhaps waiting for Gibbs to make the first move.

Well, if that's what Tony wanted... what he needed to hear, then he would try.

Gibbs moved forward to sit on the bed beside Tony, trying to take the confrontational aspect out of the situation and giving him some way of hiding his own emotions if he needed to.

Tony glanced at him, surprised, as Gibbs sat next to him and his surprise increased as Gibbs was the first to speak.

"Thanks for saving Maddie... and me."

Tony paused for a moment as he gathered his thoughts. "You got her out of the warehouse, Gibbs."

Gibbs shook his head, surprised at the bone Tony was offering. "For all the good it did." He shifted sideways slightly to meet Tony's gaze. "Didn't intend to put ya in that position. My bad."

Tony stared at him for a long moment and eventually nodded, acknowledging the rare Gibbs' apology. At one time, he would have accepted it gladly, figuring it was all he'd get out of the Marine but this time, it wasn't enough.

It wasn't even an apology he wanted.

He needed Gibbs to understand what he'd done, how much he'd risked and how close he had come to losing not only his own life and Maddie's, but to destroying Abby in the process.

Tony figured Gibbs did know that deep down but at the risk of triggering the Marine's temper, he had to try to make him understand what it did to the team to watch Gibbs push them away like this over and over again when things got too... personal.

So although Tony knew it was like poking an armed, bad tempered, grizzly bear with a big stick, he felt he had to...

So he prodded.

"Until next time, huh?"

Gibbs glanced at Tony sharply. "Not planning on a next time."

"Doubt you planned on it this time either." Tony got to his feet, running his hand through his hair as he walked away a few feet, feeling the need to move... to pace as he tried to find the right words to get through to Gibbs.

He'd spent most of the night thinking through what had happened, his imagination running riot over all the ways it could have ended... and none of them good. His Boss had gone Lone Ranger before, more times than Tony cared to admit and it never got any easier.

And now, given the Marine's new relationship with Abby, Tony had hoped it would make the guy think twice before rushing off again, but he hadn't bargained on someone like Maddie walking through the door.

But Tony sensed that if he tackled that side of what had happened now, it would only make Gibbs either flare up or retreat even more. So he tried a different tack.

Tony turned to face him. "Why didn't you let us help you, Gibbs? You know we would've... any of the team would've been right behind you. As your friend, I'd have been right there."

Gibbs shook his head. "Didn't want anyone else risking their job or... life." He stumbled over the last word as that's exactly what Tony had done in the end.

"Our choice to make," Tony stated flatly. "If you'd just stopped before haring out of there with your ass on fire and instead, come down and briefed us, we coulda come up with a plan... and yeah, I know you already had a plan but you didn't have back up at the warehouse, did you? We coulda given you that back up."

"Didn't think there was time." A thought struck Gibbs. "How did you find out where we were?

Tony huffed an ironic laugh. "Well, it's a good job Abby is so good at what she does then, isn't it? She made the connection with the shellfish and which warehouse handled deliveries. If she hadn't, I'd have had no idea where to head for, where to even start to look for you. She's the one who saved you both... not me... well, I guess me too... so it was both of us, if you wanna look at it like that."

Gibbs didn't reply, staring down at his hands, wondering why Abby hadn't mentioned it last night.

Tony went on, feeling his frustrations building and needing to let some of it out. "And whatever plan you had for getting outta there, Gibbs, I gotta say it's not one of your best... it's not gonna be right up there in the top five. You were right on the money with figuring out the intercepting of the mail and then picking up the money and even offering an exchange, which we coulda controlled, by the way... but then, how were you gonna get outta there with Maddie?"

Gibbs remained silent and Tony shook his head in exasperation, determined to make his friend see his point somehow. "I shoulda been there on your six the whole time, Gibbs. I'm not saying there wouldn't have been problems, but things might've been different and all this... crap could've been avoided."

It wasn't like the Gibbs he knew and respected to make such fundamental errors.

The guy was a master tactician but he'd seen it before when Gibbs was emotionally involved in a case. His gut sometimes just went... hinky. His vulnerability seemed to make him lose sight of the big picture and overwhelm his control.

This was more the Gibbs blinded by his pain and guilt, and his need to protect Maddie, to somehow atone for not saving his girls. When Gibbs had a clear head, he was unstoppable but with emotional blinkers on, he made mistakes.

Tony would never say it to Gibbs' face but Shannon and Kelly were his Kryptonite.

"I screwed the pooch, Tony, big time... what d'ya want me to say?" Gibbs raised his head and met Tony's gaze.

"That you won't do it next time," Tony shot back. "But I guess that's too much to hope for. Just... just think of Abby next time please." He went on in a quieter voice. "She deserves better than the way you've treated her over the last few days."

Gibbs' gaze narrowed to a glare and Tony could almost see the shutters coming down as the Marine reacted to what he obviously thought was an intrusion too far into his private life, but Tony merely stared back steadily.

Eventually, Gibbs' expression softened slightly and he nodded briefly.

Tony let the silence hold for a few moments before continuing, "And you don't need to do it alone... when will that ever sink in, huh?" Tony couldn't stop the anger leaking into his voice. "I need to be on your six, Gibbs... you need to trust us."

In a way, that's what had hurt Tony the most... that when the chips were down, Gibbs hadn't come to him for help, when he surely knew his SFA would do anything for him.

"It's not about not trusting you."

"Then what the hell is it?" Tony demanded.

Gibbs shook his head, almost despairingly... unable to explain it adequately even to himself, to rationalise the almost blind need to do something and not wait a second longer that overtook him sometimes, magnified tenfold this time because it was Kelly's friend in danger.

The two girls had blurred over the past couple of days till, as he'd said to Ducky, he looked at Maddie and saw Kelly, saw how she should have been. So the need to try and save Maddie had obliterated everything else... except he'd almost gotten her killed instead.

And Gibbs knew he owed Tony an explanation but wasn't sure how to start. How could he explain it to anyone else if he couldn't justify his reactions even to himself? It made him feel out of control when it happened and he hated that feeling at the best of times.

He knew he had to repair his relationship with his SFA but wondered if too much damage had been done.

Tony stared at him, almost willing the Marine to find a way to explain it but suspecting he wouldn't... or maybe he couldn't? Tony sighed and turned away to look out the window to give himself time to calm down, and both men were silent for long moments.

Tony's gaze was miles away, his mind going over that dive into the freezing cold river, the swim down through the murky water, remembering the desperation he felt when the driver's door wouldn't open and he could see Gibbs inside, at that point still conscious.

When he'd managed to kick in the windshield and Gibbs pushed Maddie towards him, his mind was screaming NO!... and all the way to the surface, dragging Maddie with him, his instincts were telling him he needed to be back at his boss's side, that time was running out.

He'd relived that torment over and over again in the night, knowing it wouldn't be the last and that he'd probably have more nightmares to look forward to.

But the worst moment had been on the dockside, having to choose which of them to try to revive first. He'd worked on Gibbs first while imagining and dreading what the Marine would say if he survived and Maddie didn't.

And then when he turned away from Gibbs' unresponsive body to try and revive Maddie, he remembered feeling pain that wasn't purely due to the shortness of breath in his tight chest.

It had been one of the hardest choices of his life.

Tony kept staring out of the window, not sure he could say all this to the Marine's face but he felt he was getting nowhere. He had to make Gibbs see some of it, wondering how much Abby had already told him.

Gibbs watched Tony carefully, trying to guess his thoughts from his stiff body language. But when Tony spoke again, his voice was quiet, drained of all the anger of a few moments ago and he just sounded weary and sad.

"When I couldn't get your door open, when you pushed Maddie out through the windshield, I thought that was it, Gibbs, that I was gonna be too late by the time I got back for you. But it wasn't nearly as bad as having to turn away from you, trying to revive Maddie with what I thought was your dead body right behind me." Tony paused for a moment before going on. "I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty."

"You couldn't make me feel any more guilty than I do already." Gibbs admitted quietly.

Tony interrupted him. "I know that... but I just need you to understand... to see the consequences of what you did by going lone wolf."

Gibbs swallowed hard at the pain he heard in his friend's voice. "It's not a choice you should've had to make. It's my fault you did. I'll try, Tony... that's all I can say. No promises."

Tony waited till he could get himself under control before turning away from the window. "Okay... I'll hold you to that." Tony held out his hand and they shook on it solemnly, keeping eye contact.

At least Gibbs didn't just blithely say he would do it differently, just to appease everyone. If he was prepared to try, that was a big deal as Tony knew Gibbs wouldn't make promises like that lightly.

Tony turned and picked up his bag, anxious to move onto something else before his emotions got the better of him. "Best get going... the girls will be wondering where we are." He rummaged in the side pocket of his bag and came out with a set of keys. "Before I forget, McGoo organized a fresh lock for Maddie's apartment door... though from what he said, it might need a bit more work than just a new lock."

Gibbs took the keys. "Thanks... I got it."

They dropped Tony off first as his apartment was nearer; the atmosphere in the car slightly easier than it had been in the hospital, even though Maddie kept throwing curious glances at the two men from her position in the back seat alongside Abby.

After Tony pulled his bag out of the trunk of the Challenger, he fielded Abby's hug and turned to Maddie with a smile. "I'm gonna hold you to that chicken soup you promised me, Maddie... coz we all know students can't really cook."

Maddie laughed and moved in for a hug of her own. "Then I'd better surprise you..." Her smile faded. "When my apartment's back in one piece, that is."

"About that, you can count me in on the cleaning crew... even if you have got your own Marine handyman," Tony replied with a smile and a swift glance at Gibbs who was standing watching the exchange with a slight smile.

"Hey, he's on loan only remember... he's my Marine handyman," Abby put in with a teasing smile and Gibbs rolled his eyes.

Maddie laughed. "I know, I'm very lucky... but don't think I've forgotten that proper Italian meal you promised me either, Tony."

Tony gave an exaggerated bow. "Whatever the little lady wants. Bye, Abbs... Be good." He turned to Gibbs and the two men shook hands again. "Boss."

Gibbs nodded, holding his friend's gaze. "Tony."

Maddie hesitated in the doorway of her apartment, smiling gratefully at Gibbs as he held the door open. McGee had ensured that the apartment was secure but inside was still in the same state he'd seen it in before... trashed. Though hopefully it looked worse than it actually was and not too much was damaged beyond repair.

Abby followed Maddie inside, watching her carefully, exchanging a worried glance with Gibbs who shook his head slightly as if to say give the younger woman a minute.

Maddie gazed round, taking in the mess around her. "It didn't really register at the time when they... when they came in and grabbed me. I didn't remember it quite like this..." She shivered and wrapped her arms round herself.

Abby stepped up and wound her arms round the younger woman, who leaned into her for a moment. "It'll fade, Maddie... I promise. Trust me... You'll soon be able to come back here and not see all this... not remember it this way. We'll get it straight... it'll look good as new, you wait."

Maddie nodded as she straightened up. "I know, Abby, I'm sorry. I promised myself I wouldn't fall apart, just yet. That didn't last long, did it?"

Abby rested her hands on Maddie's shoulders. "You get it out how you need to... best got outta your system, right, Gibbs?"

"It just brought it home again, I guess." Maddie glanced at Gibbs, her eyes welling with tears. "Made me remember how scared I was."

Gibbs moved closer to stand next to the two women, as if to shield them both, resting his hands on their backs. "They can't hurt you again, Maddie."

Maddie wiped her eyes, giving him a watery smile. "I know... thanks to you and Tony."

"And Abby... she broke the case." Gibbs squeezed Maddie's shoulder, intercepting Abby's look, ignoring her shake of the head.

Maddie turned to look at Abby again, hugging her impulsively. "You'll have to tell me what you did... what happened."

Abby nodded reluctantly. "Later maybe..."

"I'll, erm, go and get some clothes," Maddie stated as she turned away.

"Pack enough for a few days, just in case." Abby called out after her.

"Okay... won't be long." Maddie disappeared into her bedroom.

Abby glanced at Gibbs as he looped an arm round her waist. "You didn't need to say that, Gibbs... and who told you anyway... oh, Tony." She answered herself with a rueful smile.

Gibbs kissed her temple. "Yeah, he mentioned it and I did need to tell her... she needs to know a lot of things, Abbs. Best start there. Were you gonna tell me?"

Abby shrugged, averting her eyes. "Didn't think it was relevant... finding that out wasn't much good without Tony doing what he did, was it?"

"Both sides of the same coin, Abbs. It's not the first time and it won't be the last time you and Tony break a case." Gibbs tilted her face up, making eye contact. "Not gonna forget it."

And Abby had the feeling he was talking about more than work.

TBC...