A/N: Thank you again for the reviews. You all are awesome!
It had been two days since Elena's outburst with him when she had found out about her parents. He had told Matt what had happened when Matt showed up to take over sitting with Elena. Then Stefan had gotten the hell out of there and was pretty sure he was not going to come back. But he did. Because something told him he had to.
So he was back at the hospital, frantically thinking about what he would say to her. She probably hated him more than anyone at the moment. After all, he had been the one to tell her that her parents had died. Hell, she hated him since the day she was born. Despite what she thought of him, he needed to know how she was.
Stefan heard commotion coming from the end of the hall as he walked. His pace quickened as he recognized Jenna's panicky voice. "Elena, calm down" Jenna said, attempting to place her hands on Elena's shoulders. When Stefan entered the room, he could see Caroline, Bonnie, and Matt huddled around one side of the bed with Jenna on the other. When he stepped closer, he could see Elena, face stained with tears and an exceptionally angry expression he had only seen a couple of times. There was her "I'm pissy and you need to leave me alone now" angry expression and her rare "I'm so angry I would kill you if given the chance" angry expression. The latter was what she was sporting now.
"Get out!" Elena shouted at them. Her eyes were puffy and they were red along with her cheeks.
"Elena, we just want to help" Bonnie said in that caring voice she always had. She reached her hand out to touch Elena, only for Elena to smack it away.
"You want to help me? Then leave me the hell alone!" Elena yelled. Stefan saw the hurt look spread across Bonnie's face. Bonnie was on the brink of tears.
"Elena!" Jenna gasped. Never in her life had she seen her niece behave in such a way toward her friend. Bonnie and Elena had known each other since middle school. They had been inseparable ever since.
"You too, get out!" Elena yelled, turning her anger back to her aunt. Jenna's mouth fell shut. If she hadn't been so exhausted and emotionally drained, she would have defended herself to Elena. Instead, she remained silent.
Stefan felt frustration building within him. He had to remind himself of what Elena was going through. Stefan knew Elena was hurting. He knew she was angry and confused. But never in his life would he have expected her to act so hostile towards her friends and family. Matt seemed to recognize Stefan's presence first, followed by the others. "Give us a minute" Stefan said before he could stop himself. Elena was going to chew him up and spit him out. He knew she would. But he could take it. Bonnie did not hesitate to leave and Stefan noticed she was crying finally. Matt and Caroline followed Bonnie to comfort her. Jenna was a little more reluctant to though.
"Elena" she said, reaching for her hand again. She was her aunt. Her closest living relative. She was supposed to be able to comfort her own niece. She was supposed to be able to fix things.
Elena pulled her hand away. "Leave me alone!" Elena said harshly. Jenna looked at Stefan in defeat before turning around and silently leaving.
As soon as the door shut, Stefan walked over to Elena's bed and bent down to her level. Elena glared up at him. She probably would have smacked him if she thought she had the advantage. "You listen to me and you listen good" he told her. "Those people out there love you. And you don't get to treat them like that!" he said harshly. Elena turned her face away from him, intent on ignoring him. "Hey!" he said, getting her attention again. Elena reluctantly looked back up at him, her eyes glaring into his. "I know you're hurting. Believe me, I know. But they are hurting too" he told her with a softer tone.
She continued to glare at him for a long moment before responding. "Screw you Stefan" she bit at him. "You think you know how I am feeling? Huh? Because your parents died eight years ago?" she asked angrily. Stefan accepted her anger. He knew she needed to get it out and he would much rather she take it out on him. But that comment had stung. He tried hard to not think about his parents because it was still painful for him to accept.
Stefan leaned over her more, placing his arms on either side of her to keep her from moving. Elena stiffened at the sudden closeness. He was intent on proving to her that he knew how she felt. "There is a hole inside of you, that you feel getting a little bigger every moment. You panic because it becomes harder to breathe, and you wonder if at any moment, you won't just stop breathing altogether" he told her in a low, shaky voice. Elena locked her eyes on his neck, refusing to look him in the eyes. But she was hanging on to every word. "You're confused, angry, scared. Because this isn't like anything you have ever felt before" he told her, watching her wall that she had so carefully built up in the hospital, begin to sway with every word he spoke. "But most of all, you hurt."
Elena could not stop the tears that slipped from her eyes, falling off of her cheeks and landing on her blanket. Her eyes involuntarily looked up and met his. "Make it stop" she whispered. He felt his heart sink a little further. How he wished he could. "Stefan, make the pain go away" she whispered once again as more tears began to flow. Stefan found himself leaning forward, taking her in his arms. Instead of pulling away, Elena gave in to the comfort she so desperately needed. He held her close, resting his chin on her shoulder.
"I wish I could, Elena" he whispered back as she shook slightly in his arms, struggling to get air into her lungs. Elena buried her face in his shirt, wishing she could stay there forever and not have to face the world. Not have to face the reality that when she went home, her mom and dad would not be there. Not have to face the reality that she would have to thank every person who gave their condolences.
"Shhh" he soothed, resting one hand on the back of her neck and the other arm securely around her waist. He could not remember ever holding her this close, but for some odd reason, it felt okay. "You won't feel this way forever" he said quietly. It was the truth. After a while, the pain just sort of went away. Elena continued to cry into his shoulder while he rubbed her back gently. She started to question herself about why he was there. More importantly, she wanted to know why she was allowing herself to break down in front of him. Since when did she trust him? Then again, did she have a choice not to? He was probably the only one who didn't take offense to her angry outbursts. But this feeling she had right now, being with him. It was unsettling.
It took about 20 minutes of holding her before she fell back asleep. Stefan carefully got her comfortable before slipping out of the room. He closed the door quietly and let out a shaky breath. He leaned against the door, letting his head fall back against it. Damn. What was he feeling for Elena?
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The next time he saw her was four days later. A day he wished would have never had to come. Grayson and Miranda Gilbert's funeral. Although the funeral was not until ten in the morning, Stefan had been up since before dawn, having trouble staying asleep. The thought of putting to rest two people who had looked after him after his parents died depressed him. But the thought of having to watch Elena have to watch her parents be buried made his heart ache in a way he never thought possible. He hadn't seen her since he came by the hospital and found her yelling at her friends and her aunt. He had calmed her down, gotten her back to sleep, and then slipped out of the room like a coward, never to return. Elena got out of the hospital three days ago. He didn't even know how she was doing. He hadn't bothered to stop by. Hell, he hadn't even called.
Today, he had to face her. He would have to watch her cry. Watch her hurt. Then, he would have to feel himself hurt as well, for her and for him. Stefan straightened out his black jacket as he stood in front of the mirror. His hands shook slightly, so he clenched them, willing them to stop. Stefan's door was suddenly shoved open. "Ready?" Damon asked, in a perky tone of voice, almost as if he had forgotten where they were going. But he hadn't. "Haven't been to one of these in a while" he said casually.
Stefan cringed. But he walked toward the door, brushing past his brother. "Dick" Stefan mumbled as he continued on down the hall.
"Real mature, Stefan" Damon called out, turning and following his brother. Stefan could hear Damon behind him, whistling to himself.
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The service was small and very private. Although the Gilberts were well known throughout the community, Jenna had decided it would be easier on Elena and Jeremy if only their closest friends were present. The only other family member present was Grayson's brother John. Jenna cringed at the thought of having to stand near him. The thought of breathing the same air as that man was disturbing.
Everyone had arrived and taken their place, silently waiting for the family to arrive. Stefan waited in the second row. He eyed his brother who was at the other end of the row, calm as could be. When a car door slammed, everyone turned to look. Jenna, Jeremy, Elena, and John all exited the car and began their solemn walk. Everyone turned back around, not wanting to stare at the grief-stricken family. Stefan continued to stare though, his focus on Elena. She was wearing a black dress that stopped at her knees with a small black jacket over the top of it. Her hair was pulled neatly back with a clip, her makeup flawless. For someone grieving, she looked absolutely beautiful.
As Elena walked towards the awaiting service, she tilted her head up slightly and caught Stefan looking at her. He quickly looked down at his feet, silently scolding himself for getting caught looking at her. The family took their spots up front. Jenna was in front of Stefan, with Jeremy on her left and Elena on her right. John was next to Elena.
And then it all began. The words spoken about life and death. The memories about two amazing individuals, two loving parents, were scattered throughout all of the talking. Elena stood there, locking her knees, and staring at the two wooden caskets before her. She felt detached from the moment. She knew she was standing there, but she couldn't feel anything. She didn't want to be there. She didn't want anyone else to be there either.
When the service had concluded, Elena and Jeremy stood around Jenna and John, listening to their closest friends tell them how sorry they were for their loss. People hugged Elena, but she just stood there, frozen. She heard the whispers. "Those poor children" some were saying, giving Elena and Jeremy a pitiful look. Elena hated them and instantly grew tense.
Jenna noticed how tense Elena was becoming. She turned her attention to her. "Elena?" she asked, a worried expression on her face. Stefan was standing a couple of yards away, talking with Matt. He looked up when he heard Jenna. "Are you okay?" Jenna asked Elena.
That was it. That was all Elena could take. "Am I okay?" she asked, disbelief evident in her tone. Jenna knew she had chosen poor words. "My parents are laying in a wood box about to be covered in dirt. But sure. I'm okay. I have to be. I don't have a choice!" Elena spat as tears welled up in her eyes.
"Elena, don't do this here" her Uncle John warned, growing uncomfortable with the looks the family was getting because of Elena's outburst. The family needed to hold it together. That's what Gilbert's did. They were strong.
Elena shook her head slightly. "Go to hell. When was the last time you even talked to Dad?" she asked bitterly, tears flowing freely down her face now. Jeremy looked away from her, afraid his own tears would start. John only nodded. He was not about to get into with her right then. Stefan watched Elena and John closely. He knew John had a temper. He had witnessed it on more than one occasion. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw John walk away.
"Elena …" Aunt Jenna began quietly. But she did not continue. She didn't know what to say. What did you say to two children who had just lost their parents? "I know this is hard" she continued finally. "But we're going to get through it" she promised.
Elena shook her head uncertainly. "I can't be here" she said, wiping at her tears. Elena backed away from Jenna and before anyone knew it, Elena was running.
"Elena!" Jenna called out, following after her. Stefan was right behind her, as was Matt. "Elena stop!" Jenna demanded. Panic began to set in as they realized where she was headed. Right for the busy intersection.
Elena felt her heart racing as she ran faster and faster. She had no idea where she was going, she just knew that she had to get away from everyone. From everything. Elena felt her black heels hit pavement. Before she knew it, she had stepped off of the sidewalk into oncoming traffic. Elena froze and her breath caught in her throat as she realized where she was and what was about to happen. A car slammed on its breaks, swerving in an attempt to miss her. But it was coming right towards her. She waited for the impact, waited for it all to go black, but instead, she felt herself being yanked backwards.
Suddenly, she was safely on the sidewalk with a pair of arms wrapped around her. "What are you doing?" Damon asked, his breathing heavy from running. He had seen her take off from where he was standing next to his car. He had ran like hell to get to her. Elena looked up at him, the look of fear still ever present on her face. Damon held her face in both of his hands, looking into her eyes. "You're okay" he said, looking for a sign of agreement. Elena nodded her head quickly, her breathing becoming quick as it tried to catch up from being held for so long. Damon pulled Elena close to him.
Jenna, Stefan, and Matt had witnessed the whole thing. Jenna grabbed Elena right out of Damon's arms and held her tight. "What were you thinking?" she asked frantically. "You could have been hurt!"
Elena buried her face in her aunt's shoulder, holding her tightly. She wasn't thinking, and that was the problem. Stefan focused on breathing, but shot a glance toward Damon. Damon just smirked at him. "Thank you, Damon" Jenna said, still shaken up from the whole ordeal. In her moment of relief, she had almost forgotten that he was still standing there.
Damon's eyes left Stefan's as he looked at Jenna. "Just the right place at the right time" he said modestly. "Anyone would have done the same thing."
Jenna nodded. She pulled herself away from Elena and touched her face. "Let's get you home" Jenna said. Elena let herself be guided back towards the car, with Jenna and Matt walking with her. Stefan watched helplessly as they walked away.
"My my, Brother" Damon spoke, sauntering towards Stefan. "How in the world are you going to top that?" he asked, a wide grin forming. Stefan felt his fist clench but forced himself to relax it. He wouldn't punch his brother at a funeral. Damon took notice of this. "I mean, I got in Jenna's good graces and became Elena's hero all in the same day" he continued, mighty proud of himself.
Stefan smiled to himself, looking down at the ground before looking back at his brother. "Jenna knows what kind of person you are" Stefan reminded him. "And Elena? She'll come to realize your intentions" he added.
"My intentions?" Damon asked. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're … jealous" he said, taking a step closer to Stefan. "Well well, might my baby brother have the hots for the girl he grew up with?" Damon questioned.
Stefan took the final step towards Damon, putting them face to face. "Stay away from Elena" Stefan warned. "She's vulnerable right now and you know it" Stefan said.
"You know Stefan, tell me what I can't have makes me what it even more" Damon reminded. He smirked before walking around Stefan. "Come along, we have to get home" Damon said, as if the past few minutes did not happen.
"I'll walk" Stefan said, keeping his anger in check. He could not get in that car with Damon right now.
"Suit yourself" Damon shrugged. "I'll see you at home" he smiled, walking slowly back to his car. Stefan let out a few shallow breaths before he began walking the opposite direction. He knew he shouldn't let Damon get to him like this. But with his emotions running high, Stefan knew he would have to work extra hard to keep it together.
Stefan knew what Damon's intentions for Elena were. But Stefan couldn't tell her. Not without telling her something else. Something he was sure was the last thing Elena needed to hear right now.