Chapter Six

Lies and Peanut Butter

Bella's Point of View

I was running. Something terrible was chasing me, but I couldn't tell what it was, I couldn't even see it. I was in a forest, and the green seemed to be swallowing me. There was no one here, and I knew that nobody could hear my screams. I pushed my legs harder, needing to get away from the terrible things chasing me. I ran and ran, but the monster was only getting closer to me. I was getting tired, but I knew that if I stopped, whatever it was that was chasing me would definitely catch me.

"Help! Someone, please, help me!" I screamed, but it was no use. No one could hear. I had to keep running. All of a sudden, I was on the ground. I had tripped over a branch. I frantically looked over my shoulder, but there was nothing behind me. There was nothing there. Then what had I been running from? Suddenly there was a terrible pain in my bones and I knew I was dieing. I sobbed, knowing that there was no running from this cancer. There was no way I could get away from it. "Please, someone, please…" I whimpered. The pain was too much. I was losing consciousness. The trees were spinning around me. Blackness was creeping up around the edges, enclosing me. Soon, everything was black. I couldn't see, I couldn't hear, I couldn't even breathe.

I woke up sobbing, gasping for air. I opened my eyes wearily, not knowing where on earth I was. I blinked a few times and tried to clear my head. I sat up slowly and looked around. I sighed in relief, recognizing Jake's bedroom. Now I remembered that Edward and I had decided to crash here overnight. Jake had generously taken the floor of the living room, giving Edward the couch and me his bed. I had told them both that I was perfectly capable of sleeping on the floor, but that idea was shot down immediately by both Jake and Edward. I had eventually agreed to take the bed, realizing that they were only trying to help.

I shivered when I stood up. The floor was freezing, even through my thick socks. I grabbed the quilt off of Jake's bed and wrapped it around my shoulders. I walked quietly to the door, not wanting to wake anyone. I slowly opened Jacob's door just wide enough to stick my head through and peeked around the corner. I saw Jake sitting on the couch, watching what sounded like Emril. He must have heard me, because he looked up and smiled apologetically.

"Sorry, did I wake you up? I was trying to be quiet for you," he said.

"Nope, I woke of natural causes," I said with a shaky laugh. I walked over and sat down next to him, still shaking in my blanket. "Since when do you watch Emril?" I asked, looking at the T.V. I had watched it a couple of times when I was here, but he never paid attention much to the show.

Jake smiled and said, "Well, I know you liked the show, so I thought I'd give it a try. I got hooked on it a few weeks after you left for college."

I smiled and blushed slightly. This caused Jake to smile. "I always loved it when you blush. I haven't seen that in so long." He laughed, staring into my eyes. I blinked after a few seconds and looked away, embarrassed.

"What's he making?" I asked, trying to turn the attention away from myself.

Jake laughed at my obvious attempt and said, "Waffles."

"Ooh, yum. My favorite." As if on cue, my stomach growled. I laughed and clutched my stomach. "Shh!" I whispered at my own stomach, causing Jake to burst out laughing.

"How 'bout we get you some food," Jake said, still laughing. "We could make waffles if you want." At this I smiled, and stood up slowly. The blood rushed to my head and I had to stand there for a second. Jake was looking at me with a worried look on his face.

"I just stood up to fast." He looked at me suspiciously. "Honestly," I added. He still looked worried, but he shook it off. He grabbed my hand and led me to the kitchen. I giggled, and asked, "Where's Edward? You would never try that with him here." I had assumed he was sleeping or at his house catching up with his family.

"He said he had to go to class. He'll be back later to get you and bring you to see Carlisle." I thought about that curiously for a second.

"Wait a minute. Edward doesn't have any classes today," I said, not wanting to think what that meant.

"Are you sure?" Jake asked.

"Yeah, I'm positive. We made sure that our whole day was open today." Jake was quiet for a while, and I knew he was thinking what I was thinking. Why would Edward lie to me?

"Maybe…maybe he needed to be alone?" Jake suggested in a voice that made it sound like a question.

"Yeah, I guess so. Come on, let's make waffles. I'm starving," I said. I just wanted to forget all about this for now. I think Jake realized that, and he dropped it.

I smiled when we reached the kitchen. I had forgotten how much I loved this kitchen. The whole back wall was covered in windows. Through them I could see a breathtaking view of the ocean. Today, the sky was covered in clouds. The clouds were all different shades of grey, and the turquoise waves were slapping against the pebbled shore. The table was near the window, with matching old chairs on three sides. One side was left open so Billy's wheelchair could fit. The wall closest to me held the fading wood cabinets. The sink was in the middle of the wall, with glass-fronted cabinets above it on either side. The kitchen was simple, and that was just how I liked it.

"So, are we going to stand here staring at the kitchen, or are we going to make waffles?" Jake asked jokingly. I laughed and a blush crept into my cheeks.

"I just forgot how much I love your kitchen." Jake laughed, my favorite smile on his face. "OK, now it's waffle time!" I exclaimed, my stomach growling. I laughed as Jake dug around looking for waffle mix. I went to the fridge and grabbed out the orange juice. I poured a glass for me and Jake and set them on the table.

"Gotcha!" Jake said, laughing triumphantly as he held up the waffle mix. He grabbed a bowl and poured in some mix. I measured out the water and poured it in the bowl. Jake grabbed an old wooden spoon and handed it to me. "I'm sure you want to stir it, right? That's your favorite part."

I smiled and grabbed it. "How do you know me so well?" I asked as I l smiled. I started stirring the bowl like a witch stirring a cauldron, laughing maniacally. After a few seconds, I burst out laughing, along with Jake. His laughter echoed loudly, and when I turned around, I saw him digging around in a cabinet again. "What are you looking for?" I asked, trying to stifle my laughter.

"The waffle maker…do you know where it is?"

"Yeah, on the counter behind you. You got it out already," I pointed out to him, smiling. Jake poked his head out of the cupboard, looking behind him.

"Oh, I guess I did." His tone of voice made me giggle. Jake looked at me curiously for a second, and then observed seriously, "You know, Bella, you've been laughing a lot lately, considering…well you know what I mean." I sighed, knowing exactly what he meant.

"I think, well, laughing is just my stress reliever. I was trying to stop myself from thinking about the leukemia. It wasn't working, and the only way I can avoid those thoughts is to laugh," I responded quietly. I shuddered, remembering the terrible dream I had the night before. Jake saw this and looked at me with the saddest expression on his face.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked me. Without warning, tears welled up in my eyes and I nodded. My stomach grumbled again, startling me. "How about we make you some food while we talk." I just nodded, and Jacob poured some batter into the waffle maker. Then we both went and sat down at the table, facing each other. I stared out the window for a minute, gathering my thoughts. Jake grabbed my hand gently and said, "You can talk to me about anything. I hope you know that."

I nodded and said quietly, "I'm scared. I don't know what to do." I paused, and then remembered what he was wondering about. "I can't get away from the leukemia. If I'm lucky, I can push it into the back of my mind for a few hours. But it always comes back. I dreamt of it last night. Something was chasing me and I couldn't outrun it. Then I realized that it was the cancer that was chasing me, that was why I couldn't escape it." By now, I was shaking; I was just so scared and tired. "And I should be talking to Edward about all of this, and he should be the one who I can talk to. But Edward is lying to me, and I can't figure out why. I don't know why he would do that to me."

I was crying now, Jake sitting quietly and listening, still holding my hand. Quietly, he pulled my face up to look at him. I could see the hurt in his face, and it killed me. "Bella, I won't lie to you, not ever. I can't promise you that everything is going to be fine. But I won't abandon you. I would never dream of doing what Edward has done, lying to you and then leaving you alone in the time when you need him most. Maybe he has a good excuse, but it wouldn't ever be good enough to me. I promise that I will help you through this. I will be there at the hospital with you so much that you will have to kick me out, you'll be so sick of seeing my face. I will do whatever makes you happy and healthy."

I sat there, still crying. I couldn't even say anything, but I knew Jake could tell that I was thankful. Suddenly, a bell went off, making me jump.

"Your waffle is done," Jake said, realizing that I had forgotten about food. I smiled gently and he stood up to get my waffle for me. I turned to stare out the window, looking out over the stormy sea. There was too much to think about now, I couldn't sort through my thoughts. But one thing kept jumping to the front of my jumbled thoughts. Edward had lied to me, the day after I had found out that I have leukemia. What had made him do something like that, and what could he be out there doing?

Jake walked back to the table and set an old blue plate in front of me. On it, there was a waffle, covered in peanut butter and syrup. I smiled, remembering the first time he had made me try the strange combination. It was his favorite, and now it was mine. I couldn't eat waffles any other way. "Thanks, Jake. You really are the best friend I could have wished for."

Jake smiled, but it didn't even reach his eyes. I knew he was worried about me. I took a deep breath and asked, "Jake, could you help me tell Charlie, and everyone in La Push? About the leukemia, I mean. I don't think I can do that on my own."

"Of course, Bella. Are you sure you want to do that today? You look pretty tired already, and it's only eleven."

"I need to. I have to get it out of the way. I should have told Charlie yesterday. I'm sure he's frantically pacing around the living room right now."

"Ok, after we eat. I don't like having you hungry. I'm probably just paranoid, but you look pretty tired today. And I want you as healthy as possible." I nodded and took a bite of my waffle. When the bell went off again, Jake stood up to go get his waffle. I ate slowly, still trying to sort out my thoughts. I had to find a way to tell Charlie. He would be the hardest one to tell, and I knew it was going to hurt. Jake came back with his own waffle after about a minute. It was identical to mine, complete with peanut butter and syrup. He didn't say anything, just left me alone to my thoughts. I appreciated that. I looked up at him and saw that he was also staring out on the ocean. The sky was darkening, and it looked like a storm was on its way. The waves were now slapping against the shore, white foam forming on the surface of the waves.

We were both quiet for a while, thinking. I was wondering what Jake was thinking about. His face looked torn. It was so sad to see his face like that, and I knew I wasn't supposed to see his pain. I looked back to my plate and finished off my waffle. I pushed my plate towards the middle of the table and Jake looked up. "Do you want another?" he asked.

I shook my head and said, "No, I'm full. How about you? I can start making you another if you want."

"Nah, I can't even finish this one," he said, standing up and rinsing off his plate in the sink. I looked at him curiously, wondering what had happened to his appetite. He usually ate a ton. But I shook the curiosity off, knowing he was probably just worried. I rinsed my plate and set it in the sink on top of Jake's.

"Ready to go see Charlie?" I asked, worry filling my stomach.

"I'm ready if you are." We walked toward the door and slipped into our coats and tennis shoes. Then Jake opened the door and held it for me. I smiled at him and stepped out into the light rain. The wind took me aback, mostly because I hadn't expected it. My tangled hair was whipping around my head, and we walked quickly towards Jake's Rabbit. Jacob opened the door for me again, and I slid in, thankful for the protection from the wind. Jake shut my door and then walked over to the driver's side door. "You know, Bella, you are really brave. I would never be able to do this. I can't even stand seeing you go through this all."

I blushed slightly. "It's not easy. But I couldn't do it alone. Thanks again for helping me with this. I know it's going to be hard for you." Jake smiled.

"Sure, sure." I smiled at his response. He saw my smile and grinned back. I knew he was trying to calm me down. It made me grateful to have my very own sun beside me. "You should invite Charlie to come down to La Push for dinner tonight. Billy went fishing today, so I'm sure he'll make something good. You can come too, if you want."

"Yeah, that would be fun. We'll be there." The car had stopped and I looked up to find us in Charlie's driveway. My heart stopped, and I couldn't breathe. I looked over at Jake, petrified. "I can't do this," I panicked.

"Bells, you can do this. I know you can. Just take a deep breath and calm yourself down."

I took a few deep breaths, my eyes sealed shut. I opened them slowly. "Ok, let's go. Before I change my mind."

A/N: Ok, there's the next chapter! Sorry to those of you who love Edward and hate Jacob....I love them both and can't chose between them! : D Tell me what you think of it, and I really appreciate the feedback I've gotten so far!