A/N: You guys continue to blow me away with your amazing reviews. Thank you so much.

I want to thank Phoebsfan for putting up with my whining about this story when I was stuck on a scene. If it hadn't been for her, this chapter would not be up right now.

Oh, by the way, I apologize for the crazy length in this chapter. I tend to get carried away sometimes.

Disclaimer: Castle is not mine.

Of Bars and Secrets

Chapter 6

She wasn't sure if what she was seeing in his eyes was anger, disappointment or jealousy. When she stepped out of the elevator, a smile still playing on her lips from Castle's text, she stopped in her tracks when she realized Josh was just standing there on her doorstep. He was leaning against the wall and the look in his eyes made it clear that something was wrong. And she had a pretty good hunch on just what exactly that something was.

She recovered quickly from her initial surprise and walked over to him, balancing the grocery bags, her purse and phone. He took the bags from her arms so she could fish her keys out of her purse and she opened the door. Locking the door behind her after they got inside, she turned to look at him setting the bags on the kitchen counter.

He still hadn't said a word.

"Hi." She said to break the tension. He remained silent, his back to her. "Is everything okay?" she asked slowly.

"We were supposed to have dinner tonight, remember?" he said quietly. "That new place that opened up on Park Avenue?"

Kate closed her eyes, cursing herself. She had completely forgotten about it. He had been so excited because he managed to score a reservation in a famous restaurant and had talked about it for days. How could she have possibly forgotten about that? Damn it.

"Josh, I am so sorry. We're in the middle of this really tough case and it completely slipped my mind." She apologized, stepping closer to him. "We lost track of time."

"I tried your cell, but I only got the voicemail. I called the precinct and they said you left over an hour ago." He said, the accusation clear in his voice.

Kate swallowed hard, trying to think of the best way to approach this.

"I, uh… I went to get something to eat before I came home. It's been a really long day." She explained and prayed he would leave it at that.

No such luck.

"By yourself?" he all, but spat at her.

"Not really. Castle and I went to Remy's, that place near the precinct I always tell you about, remember?"

She felt like there was a big shiny sign that said guilty right on her forehead.

"Funny you should mention your shadow." He said, sarcasm dripping from his tone.

Kate flinched and bit her lip. Shit, why couldn't she get a hold of herself? She is usually the master of playing it cool and now look at this pathetic excuse of a poker face.

"What about him?" she asked, her tone firmer. She couldn't let herself feel intimidated. She was going to break up with him, anyway, right? She just didn't like this new side of him.

"I hear you had quite a party last night. And your so called partner had a lot to do with it."

"What exactly are you talking about here, Josh?" she looked up at him and locked her gaze on his eyes. "Because I'm not sure I'm following and I'm trying to understand the attitude you've got going on."

"I get to the hospital today and the first thing I heard was 'isn't that your girlfriend on the internet'?" he hissed at her, his eyes blazing in anger.

She tried to keep her surprise in check. Well, there goes any hope that he hadn't seen the damn pictures, she thought to herself.

"I'm not sure why you're so angry. I've seen the pictures myself and there is absolutely nothing going on there." She told him, her voice steady. He laughed humorlessly.

"Kate, please, let's not play this game, alright? I know what I saw. You and Castle looked awfully cozy for two people who claim to be just friends. Can you imagine what it was like for me to hear this from my coworkers?"

"You're blowing this way out of proportion, Josh. Come on." She said, shaking her head. She knew this was her cue to end things with him, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. Not when he was this upset.

"You know, I knew he had a thing for you. I've always known. I mean, if looks could kill, he would've taken me down that day at the precinct, he looked so jealous." He said and Kate opened her mouth to speak, only to close it when he held his hand up. "I knew you had a bit of a crush on him. The way you talk about him… but I thought it was just a fan thing. I never thought anything would come out of it."

"Nothing happened." She said and was mortified that it sounded like she was defending herself. Why not just tell him that she has been making out with Castle behind his back and get it over with?

"Yeah? This one picture here begs to differ." He retorted and started fiddling with his Iphone.

Kate's mind was going haywire. Had they missed an incriminating picture? She was absolutely sure there weren't any of them kissing. There couldn't be. She ran a hand through her hair nervously. Shit, this wasn't going at all like she had planned.

"Well, look at that." He said sarcastically. "There are new pictures. You guys are quite a hit today."

He turned his phone to her and she realized the pictures were from tonight. They were standing really close to each other, Castle's arms around her waist and her hands resting on his arms. That was when he had saved her from falling on her face earlier. They were looking at each other so intensely that it gave her goose bumps.

"This is nothing. I had slipped on some ice and Castle caught me." She explained, thanking whatever higher power out there that Castle had refrained from kissing her then.

"Whatever, this is what I'm talking about." He showed her another picture. She and Castle were leaving the bathroom area where they had just had that really hot make out session. "It looks innocent enough, right? Yeah, I thought so too at first. Then I looked closer. Your lipstick is smudged right here, see? So I thought I'd check out Castle too just in case and, what do you know, your lipstick had magically appeared on him."

Kate opened her mouth and closed it several times. She couldn't think of anything to say to that. Damn it, she didn't want to hurt him like that. He was never supposed to know about this. She looked away from him, trying to collect her thoughts. There was no point in denying it now.

She felt horrible.

"Yeah, that's all I needed to know." He shook his head and pocketed his phone. "Have a nice life, Detective Beckett." He said and walked out of her apartment, slamming the door on his way out.

She thought about going after him to try and apologize, but really, what was the point? They hadn't been caught in the act, but for someone who knew her somewhat well, that picture was incriminating enough. She felt terrible for making him go through this. She really didn't want him to find out like that. Actually, she had never intended to cheat on him. It wasn't like her to do that. It went against everything she stood for.

But somehow with Castle her caution flew right out the window. It seemed like the attraction between them was stronger than her, as much as she tried to fight it. Hell, she fought against it for almost three years; it was bound to explode at some point.

She sighed and started to put away the groceries, exhaustion finally catching up with her. After the groceries were taken care of, she took a quick shower and went to bed, pulling the comforter over her head to create a small cocoon of warmth. Her heater had been acting up for the past few days and her bedroom was colder than she was comfortable with.

She was almost drifting off into sleep when her phone buzzed next to her pillow. She almost jumped, startled, and blinked against the blinding light of the phone screen. She had a new text message and was very tempted to ignore it, but curiosity won in the end.

What are you up to, detective?

She rolled her eyes and texted him back quickly. I was almost falling asleep. You woke me up.

Less than a minute passed by before her phone chirped again.

Sleep? It's not even 10 yet. Are you okay?

She smiled at his concern, fighting a yawn. It had been a long day and the fight with Josh had drained her. She was exhausted.

I'm just tired. Been a long day. Had a nasty fight/break up with Josh.

She sent the message and bit her lip apprehensively. She knew that telling him that she and Josh were through would get his hopes up. While she was 99% sure she wanted to give it a try with Castle, she wasn't sure if she was ready for it. She was already uncertain about it; the pictures scare just managed to shake her up even more.

He didn't reply for a few minutes and she thought she shouldn't have said it. She was almost falling back asleep when her phone buzzed again.

Are you okay?

Yeah, it was going to happen eventually. He saw the pictures. It wasn't pretty.

She sent the text and waited. When her phone rang, she jumped surprised.

"Beckett." She said out of habit, knowing it was him.

"Did he hurt you?" Castle asked and she could hear the concern in his voice.

"No, it wasn't like that. We ended up fighting and he shoved the picture in my face and told me to have a nice life, pretty much." She explained, turning on her side and pulling the comforter closer to her body.

"I'm sorry, Kate." He said quietly.

"It's okay." They were silent for a beat. "There are new pictures." She whispered.

"What? Where?" he asked, surprised.

"I'm not sure where he found them. But it was taken when you saved me from falling on my face earlier, remember?" she said and sat up in bed. "Hold on, let me get my laptop." She got out of bed and shivered against the cold. "God, it's freezing in here."

"Turn up the heater." Castle suggested. She grabbed her laptop and ran back to bed, pulling the comforter around herself.

"It's already on, but it's been acting up lately. I just haven't had time to get it checked out." She explained and heard him sigh.

"Do you want me to take a look at it?" he offered and she snorted.

"Now?" she asked in disbelief.

"Sure. I can't let you sleep in the cold. You might freeze to death."

"I highly doubt that, Castle." She said in a wry voice. "Don't worry, I'll be fine."

"You can always sleep here, you know." He said and she laughed.

"No, thanks."

"Then let me do this for you. Please? For my own peace of mind?" he insisted and she sighed.

"Fine." She said exasperated.

"Great, I'll be there in twenty." He told her and she chuckled at the excitement in his voice.

"See you soon, Castle." She rolled her eyes and hung up.

While her laptop was powering up, she decided to get out of bed and go make herself a cup of hot chocolate to fight the cold. After pouring the hot beverage in a mug, she went back to her room to get her laptop and a blanket and then settled on the couch. She checked her e-mail and then decided to start looking for the pictures before Castle got there. She googled his name and immediately found them in one of the many fan sites.

There were even more pictures now. Besides the one of them on the street, there were a couple more of them from when they were at Remy's. They had been sitting by the window, which had been pretty idiotic of them, so whoever took those pictures managed to take a few of them holding hands.

God, couldn't they do anything anymore without it somehow ending up on the internet?

The doorbell interrupted her thoughts and she set the laptop on the couch and her hot chocolate on the coffee table before making her way to the door.

"Hi." She smiled and stepped aside to let him in.

He smiled back and leaned in, stopping an inch from her lips giving her a way out. She rolled her eyes and closed the distance between them, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

"Hey." He whispered and stole another kiss, this time deepening it. She enjoyed the feeling of his tongue on hers for a moment before pulling away.

"You're impossible." She slapped his chest playfully and he grinned at her. "Come on, let me show you the pictures." He kept his arms around her waist and followed her to the couch. "Do you want some hot chocolate?"

"Sure."

"I'll be right back then. Go on and take a look at the pictures. I just found them. There are even more than we thought." She told him and made her way to the kitchen.

A few minutes later, she returned with another mug and gave it to him, sitting next to him on the couch. She grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around herself, offering one side of it to him. He gave her a small smile and pulled it around himself as well, balancing the laptop on his legs. Kate leaned forward, grabbed her hot chocolate from the coffee table and relaxed against his side, taking a sip.

"What do you think?" she asked after a while. They had opened every single picture to examine them closely.

"Well" he sighed and leaned forward to put his mug down on the coffee table. "They look innocent enough for the average person. Except maybe for the one at Remy's. And the one we are outside."

"So pretty much all the new ones." She said dryly and he chuckled, putting an arm around her shoulders.

"I guess, yeah." He shrugged and turned to look at her. "Kate, listen. Don't worry about this so much. They'll find something else to talk about soon enough. There are bigger and juicier celebrities out there, trust me."

"I'm still not comfortable with that." She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder.

"No one ever is. It's an invasion of your privacy and I know how much that means to you." He kissed the top of her head. "It'll blow over, you'll see."

"I hope so." She yawned and turned a little to the side to get more comfortable against his side.

"Do you mind if I check my email here?" he asked and she looked up at him sleepily.

"Not at all, go ahead."

She kissed his cheek and rested her head on his shoulder again, closing her eyes, and fell asleep in a matter of seconds. When she woke up, she was lying on the couch and her laptop was on the coffee table. She sat up slowly and saw Castle walking out of her bedroom.

"Hey, you're awake." He smiled at her and she offered a small smile in return before yawning. "Fixed your heater. It was just the dial."

She got up and took the blanket with her.

"Thanks, Castle." She smiled at him gratefully and he shrugged.

"I should get going. Let you get some sleep." He leaned down and placed a quick kiss on her lips. She held onto his hand to stop him.

"You can stay if you want. It's late and it's snowing. You shouldn't drive." She offered and bit on her lip, unsure if she had done the right thing.

"Are you sure?" he asked, holding her gaze. She nodded. "Alright, thanks. I can stay on the couch."

"No, come on. I trust you'll keep your hands to yourself." She smirked at him and he laughed.

"I'll try my best, detective." He teased and followed her into the bedroom.

When Kate woke up again, the morning light was drifting in through her curtains. She blinked, covering her eyes with her hand, and felt someone kiss the top of her head. That was when she realized she was lying almost on top of Castle and the sound she had thought was in her dream was actually his heart beating.

She yawned and looked up at him. He was looking at her sleepily, his hair adorably messed up.

"Morning." She croaked out and felt his hand slowly caressing her back.

"Morning." He answered with a small smile.

"What time is it?" she asked resting her head on his chest again.

"A little after seven."

"Damn it, I have to get up." She sighed and sat up, rubbing her eyes. "You can sleep a little bit longer if you want. I'll go take a shower and get ready."

He pulled her back to him for a kiss and smiled against her lips.

"Okay. Five more minutes." He said when she got up and turned on his stomach, hugging her pillow. Kate shook her head with a smile and made her way to the bathroom.

About forty minutes later, they were ready to go. They had some breakfast and agreed that Castle should go home and change first so to avoid arriving at the precinct together. Things were bad enough already and they didn't want to add to the fire. When they got to the lobby, Kate noticed some unusual movement at the entrance of the building. She told Castle to stay behind for a second while she went to check it out.

There were about fifteen people on the street, which would be somewhat normal if they hadn't all jumped up and started flashing their cameras the minute they saw her. Kate stopped in her tracks in shock. How could they possibly know where she lived?

She swallowed hard, trying to fight the panic. She had to move, she couldn't stay there and just let them take her picture like that. But her feet seemed to be glued to the ground. It felt like an hour had passed when she finally heard Castle's voice.

"Kate, come on." He called to her from where he was, still hidden from the cameras. She snapped out of it and turned to look at him. "Let's get out of here. Come on." He gestured for her to come to him and she turned around and walked back to where he was.

"What the hell was that?" she gasped, her breath coming out raggedly. She was on the verge of a panic attack. How could they do this to someone?

"I'm so sorry." He put his arm around her and pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head. "They're vultures. Is there a back entrance somewhere?" he asked and she nodded, leading him through the lobby.

When they made it to his car, parked about a block away from her building, she touched his hand, stopping him.

"I…" she started and swallowed hard before continuing. "I don't think I can do this, Rick." She said quietly and looked away from him.

"Kate…"

"It's too much. I can't handle this right now. I mean, I just broke up with Josh last night and the pictures and the paparazzi. It's too way much. I can't. I can't do this." She blurted out and her heart broke at the crestfallen look on his face. "I'm sorry."

"Kate, we can work this out. We can send out an announcement that we're not together or something. We can do this. Give us a chance." He pleaded with her, but she shook her head. "Please?" he insisted.

"Don't make this harder for us, Rick, please." She took a deep breath and looked up at him. "I'm not saying this is it. I think we should just give it some time. Let this whole thing die down. I can't deal with this kind of invasion. I'm sorry." She leaned in and kissed his cheek.

"We'll work this out. I promise." He held her hand and brought it up to his lips.

"Yeah." She closed her eyes for a moment. "Just not now."

She squeezed his hand one last time and walked away.

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