A/N – Harry potter is owned by JK Rowling. I'm just playing with her toys.

This is not the end of the story; I have a few more things to add. I hope that you continue to read on

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'Harry, this is Godric's Hollow, Ginny should be here with you.' Harry took her hand in his and said 'I've never brought Ginny here; she wouldn't understand how difficult it is for me to come here. Last year on the day before Fred's anniversary she insisted that we take a picnic to the graveside. She got a little bent out of shape with me because I didn't feel comfortable getting intimate among the headstones.' He looked up at Hermione, who had a look of shock on her face. 'The only time I've been to see them was with you. I thought that we could leave some flowers for them and then there are a few things that I really need to speak with you about.'

The walked in comfortable silence along the quiet street, past the war memorial to the kissing gate, Harry walked through first and held the gate open for Hermione to come through before she extended the courtesy. She held his hand, knowing how difficult it had been for him the last time he was here. She could sense the trepidation in him, almost as though he didn't feel worthy to be in this place. Her touch seemed to give him the strength he needed. Against the far wall stood their headstones, the white marble seemed to radiate an ethereal glow that began to draw him towards it. 'I don't know if I can do this Hermione.' His voice was shaking with fear, he turned to leave and found Hermione blocking his path.

'Look at me Harry' she said in a firm yet understanding voice 'I'll be right here with you, until the end.' He swallowed hard and nodded. He didn't trust his voice to not break; together they walked over to the graves and stood with their heads slightly bowed. A few birds sung in the nearby trees; a light breeze scattered a few fallen leaves. Harry spoke first 'It's peaceful here; I can see why they chose to come here.'

Hermione put her head on his shoulder. She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, he realised that he was holding his breath. 'I never told anyone other than Dumbledore but I saw my parents the night Cedric died, when our wands connected I saw their spirits, then when I used the stone I saw them again and I spoke with them. They told me how brave I was and that it would be over soon. Then when I was in the hospital a couple of weeks ago I was standing outside my body watching you and Ginny and they were there with me. I didn't want to come back Hermione, I wanted to stay with my mum' hot tears rolled down his cheeks and he shared this with Hermione. She put her arms round him and let him cry, 27 years worth of grief for the mother that got taken away from him so cruelly.

'shhhh, It's alright.' She tried to soothe him as he fell apart in her arms. She felt helpless, yet she instinctively knew that this simple act of letting him grieve would be enough. They stood like this for what felt like forever; eventually Harry slid his arms round her waist and put his head on her shoulder. 'I have some things that I need to tell you. Not all of them good' Harry broke the silence, Hermione said 'I saw some benches over by the war memorial' He broke their embrace and conjured a wreath of lilies and placed them on their graves and said 'I'm sorry if I let you down Mum, Dad.' Before standing up and taking Hermione's hand walking away.

They made their way to the benches, 'What's wrong Harry?' she asked as they sat down. 'There's no easy way to say this Hermione, I'm leaving Ginny.' 'What! Why? Is there someone else?' Hermione stood up in shock. 'Please sit down and promise me that you'll hear me out before you hex me.' she sat down and eyed him wearily 'ok I'll agree to that, but if you tell me that you've been cheating on Ginny so help me god I will do more than hex you.' He smiled at her ultimatum. 'It's a deal, I want to ask you a question and you have to answer honestly because if I'm going to pour my heart and soul out to you then you have to at least be honest with me, no matter how brutal. Agreed?' she nodded and said 'ask away' he took a deep breath and said 'why did you and I never get together?' 'You never saw me as anything more than your best friend, Harry' he looked at her and said 'I never once left your side when you were petrified, when Dolohov's curse hit you I thought my world had ended. I refused to leave you while you were unconscious in the hospital being treated. Ron was barely there either time; did that not strike you as strange?' Hearing it put in this context made her sit up a little and pay closer attention to what was being said. He carried on 'when Cho broke it off with me she said it was because no one stood a chance with you around.' He looked up to the cloudless sky and said 'Even Dumbledore asked me if we were romantically involved, when I said that we weren't he even gave me one of his trademark twinkling winks as though he knew something that was being kept from me.' Hermione stayed silent so Harry continued 'every girl in Hogwarts at one point or another, with the exception of you, Luna and maybe Cho's friend Marietta, made a pass at me or acted like some love struck fan girl.' She said 'even Millicent and Parkinson?' Harry at least had the good grace to blush as he nodded 'Oh, Harry that just too funny!' she sat and heartily laughed at her friend's obvious discomfort. She stopped and said 'Did Draco know?' 'Yup, that's one of the reason he broke my nose on the train that time after his dad got arrested.' By this point she was howling with laughter 'ouch, I can't breathe' she said as tears of laughter rolled down her cheeks. She tried to compose herself by taking a few deep breaths before chuckling a little more. 'Greengrass and Davis I could perhaps see but Bulstrode? I'm sorry Harry but that's just too funny.' He replied 'I'm glad you find this funny Granger! It was bloody frightening, see even tried to kiss me once after Quidditch Practice. Urgh it was horrible, she tripped me up and help me on the ground. I could see right up her nose!' he shivered involuntarily and retched, this started her off again. 'If McGonagall hadn't of there I would have been done for.' Hermione calmed herself down after a couple of minutes before asking about Marietta 'she hated me because of you, and the fact that you broke up Cho and I. Luna always had a unique perspective on things that was always entertaining. Then there was Hermione Granger, the brightest witch of her age. You always saw me as your best friend; you saw beyond the rumours, the lies and the hype and saw me. That always meant a lot to me Hermione and I never thanked you for it' she smiled sweetly at him 'Harry you jumped on a Troll to save my life, you will always be my hero.' She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek 'the reality has always been better than the legend.'

Harry turned to face her and asked again 'So why didn't we ever get together?' she looked at her feet and replied 'I don't know, Harry.' This was the moment that he had been dreading, his mouth was dry, and the words were beginning to choke him before he finally said 'I ask because I fell in love with you the summer before second year, when we met up in Diagon alley and you once again fixed my glasses. It was almost like I had seen you for the first time, you took my breath away.'

All the mirth had left her, she sat in stunned silence. Out of all the things that she though he would tell her, this was not the list. Harry let the words settle before delivering his next salvo 'I look at you and I see what happiness looks like and a little bit of my soul dies because you're not mine.' Suddenly the birdsong sounded shrill and the breeze felt icy cold. He couldn't look at her because he didn't think that he could cope with seeing the hatred and disgust on her face at his revelation. Looking intently at the memorial to him and his parents he said 'I married Ginny because it was expected of me, I became an Auror because it was expected, and I rose to the top of the DMLE because it was expected. So now what? It's expected that I'll have kids with Ginny, that's never going to happen. I've tendered my resignation and for once I'm going to do things for me.'

Hermione said 'but...' Harry cut her off, 'I did say that not everything I would tell you would be good. I tried to kill myself because I couldn't see a way out, I had had enough of the constant burden of expectation that everyone had put on me. I've been self medicating on dreamless sleep potion and whisky, I hadn't slept properly for the best part of 10 days. Almost every night I close my eyes a green light flashing and I can feel his curse hitting my chest, I can feel life leaving me, but every I still hear my mother dying every night; she screams "Not Harry; kill me instead" then he laughs and then a flash of green light. Sometimes I hear you screaming as Bellatrix tortures you and it's all because of me. I couldn't take any more because I caused these things and even though I love you with every...' his voice faltered as the realisation of his words started to hit home to him 'with every breath in my body, I don't deserve you.'

Hermione stood up and paced. This was nothing she had ever experienced before and no amount of reading would ever have prepared her for this. She stopped pacing in front of Harry and turned to look at him, he looked as though the air had been let out of him. 'Harry, what do you expect me to do with this information?' 'Nothing, Hermione, You've already given so much for me I can't ask any more from you.' She knelt down in front of him and took his hands in hers 'I waited for years to hear you say that and now when we're both married you get all noble and unload on me and tell me you don't want anything from me' he looked up at her, his emerald eyes shining 'Don't look at me like that' she said 'like what?' he asked 'like I'm you're everything'