Caboose was told to go do whatever he did alone. Usually that meant spending time with Church. Church was his bestest friend, and he always knew what to do when they were together. Church was smart like that.
One time, Church was being a really great bestest friend, and he told Caboose to go hiking.
At first, Caboose thought that meant they would go hiking together. And they would have a picnic together. And they would find bears together. And then they would run from the bears together. And then they would get caught in freezing rain with the angry bears together. It would have been so much fun.
But Church didn't go, so Caboose had to do all those things by himself. It was fun, but not as much fun as it would have been with his bestest friend. Especially when the alien bears attacked him.
All in all, Caboose missed Church dearly.
Anyway, Caboose knew what he wanted to do alone. Very carefully, without trying to trip, Caboose made his way to the top of Red Base. It was a great view, and Caboose thought that he could see everything in the whole world. That made him smile a bit.
Caboose made his way to the man cannon and then eyed it suspiciously. It looked like a jet of blue colored air that was aiming towards the waterfall. Caboose quickly took a Grenade and threw it into the man cannon. The man cannon made a weird sound and the live Grenade flew into the air. After a couple seconds, the live Grenade exploded in the air.
Did that mean that Caboose would explode too if he used it?
He never really liked the man cannon. Caboose only used it once before, and that was when he and Church were helping Agent Washington. And Church used the man cannon before Caboose did. Church didn't like the man cannon, and usually Church knew what was right.
But Caboose had to put down his fear of the man cannon. It was the fastest way to travel in Valhalla, and even he knew it. Caboose gulped and made sure his helmet was on securely. It wasn't, but he thought that it was.
Before Caboose could think about it, which would have taken a couple minutes, Caboose literally flew his body into the man cannon.
Caboose felt his body become weightless as it was propelled forward through the open air. He screamed a bit as he waved his hands. At first, Caboose thought that he was flying, but then he remembered the Grenade that had just exploded. He started to panic.
"Ah!" Caboose screamed through the air. He dropped his Assault Rifle and it fell to the ground. "I don't want to explode!"
During this, Sarge was conveniently walking around the bottom of Valhalla just under where Caboose's line of flight was. Sarge was looking for any parts of the Chupathingy that had fallen off during its last adventure where the Meta smashed the engine. He couldn't see any that were in plain sight. So he had to search behind every nook and cranny. It was like a snipe hunt, and Sarge hated it.
"Stupid Meta, stupid Washington." Sarge grumbled to himself as he clutched his shotgun as if to channel his rage. "Why do they have to break everything . . ?"
Suddenly, Sarge heard Caboose's screams of terror and something about exploding. Out of curiosity, Sarge looked up to see a blue armored body flying towards Blue Base. Actually, plummeting would have been a better word to describe Caboose.
If this had happened two years ago, Sarge wouldn't hesitate to kill Caboose. Hell, even a couple weeks ago Sarge would have shot at the Blue rookie. But after learning that the Red vs. Blue War was a lie, he couldn't bring himself to hurt the little Rascal. In a way, Caboose reminded Sarge of himself. But only in a mentally disastrous way that could only make sense to Sarge.
"What in tar nation?" Sarge exclaimed aloud as he saw Caboose drop his gun.
Sarge watched dumbstruck as Caboose's Assault Rifle plunged down to hit him square in the head. The force caused Sarge's brain to rattle around his skull. It didn't really hurt, but his thoughts became cloudy and he couldn't think straight.
Sarge stumbled around, trying to find a rock to steady himself on. He couldn't find one, so Sarge ended falling to the ground, shotgun still in his hands. Sarge's mind blanked out for a brief second, and then it was back online. During the process, some of Sarge's recent memories had been erased.
"Huh? What happened?" Sarge muttered to himself as he tried to stand up. "Where are you Simmons? Give me some figures, stat!"
But Sarge's calls went unanswered. Sarge looked around his surroundings out of confusion. To his amazement, and stupidity, Sarge found himself back in Valhalla.
"How did I get back here? Isn't the Meta and Agent Washington here?" Sarge asked himself. "I thought we were at that Freelancer base trying to put the Blues back in the computer?"
As Sarge was trying to figure out the current situation, Caboose had finally landed. He hadn't exploded, much to his delight. But Caboose had fallen face first, and Caboose could feel his lip split slightly. Caboose got up off of the ground quicker than anyone ever could and he took off his helmet to try and keep the blood back in his body.
"Now you stay in there." Caboose ordered his blood. "Or else we're going to have to have a serious conversation about personal space!"
After a minute of useless scolding, Caboose ignored his still bleeding lip and he headed towards Blue Base. He ignored Sarge's distant cries for Simmons and curses at Grif. Slowly, Blue Base appeared in front of Caboose like a castle or a sanctuary. Caboose's speed picked up as he started to run towards his home. He missed his home; he didn't like his vacation at Red Base at all.
As Caboose approached one of Blue Base's entrances, he could make out Simmons and Grif in his yellow armor. They were good guys, Caboose thought; they had always helped him whenever he asked. They would help them, and then they would promise to kill him. Caboose liked promises. Promises were something that couldn't be broken. But the Red had broken a couple promises before.
Simmons spotted Caboose first, and instead of raising his gun at Caboose, he gave him a friendly wave. Grif, who was sitting on the ground, gave Caboose a nod and then continued doing nothing.
"Hey Caboose!" Simmons greeted the Blue, and then he saw the gory mess on Caboose's face. "Man, do you need help with your lip?"
"Hi . . . Simmons." Caboose said as he got closer to them, he ignored Simmons question because his brain couldn't keep up with Simmons' words.
"What'cha need, buddy?" Simmons asked cheerfully as he tried to disregard the Caboose's blood. Simmons had learned that being angry at Caboose got you nowhere, so he commanded himself to be friendly to the Blue Idiot.
"Oh, Tucker told me to go do whatever I do alone. So I came here." Caboose explained like a little kid.
"But you do realize that we're here," Grif stated to Caboose, "so you can't do what you do during your alone time."
"Oh," Caboose muttered. He quickly exchanged looks from Grif, Simmons, and then he gazed down the entrance's hallway. "Can I go in there? And then! . . . I will be alone."
"Sure, buddy." Simmons approved, "I mean, it is your base after all."
"Thanks, guys! You don't know how happy you make me right now!" Caboose jumped in the air and clapped his hands. A huge smile appeared on his face; his eyes glistening like big puppy eyes.
"Uh, I think we get a pretty good picture of how happy you are." Grif pointed out before dozing off yet again.
Caboose ran into Blue Base like a little kid. His hands ran down the side walls, and that left little gun powder trails that showed where Caboose was heading. Caboose didn't go into the Rec. Room. He didn't go into the blue decorated kitchen. Nor did he run into his room that was now being inhabited by Simmons.
Instead, Caboose ran straight into what would have been Church's room. Church hadn't been to their new base yet. But all of his belongings had been shipped with Caboose after he kept the Epsilon Unit. Church's room had remained untouched since then. Sarge would have gotten this room when they changed bases. But Sarge had told the Blues that he refused to sleep in a Blue Army room and decided to sleep on their couch instead.
Caboose just stared at the room, making extra especially sure that nothing had been touched. Church's Sniper Rifle was still on his old, beaten up dresser. Caboose bent down to inspect it to see if someone was messing with the scope. No one had, and that made him happy, because then Church would have been happy.
Caboose then went to the closet and opened it. Inside was a pair of Church's fuzzy slippers. Caboose picked the left one up, and sure enough, there was the hole that Caboose made a couple years ago. Church was so happy when Caboose made that hole that he said that he couldn't possibly replace them. It was something about Command wouldn't let him. Command was nice like that.
Caboose quickly hugged Church's old slipper and then set it back down by the other one. He closed the closet door and then crawled under Church's bed. He wanted to make sure that the plate of cookies and the glass of orange juice was still under there. It was a tight squeeze, and Caboose managed to get himself stuck. Caboose wiggled a bit to see if he could get loose by himself, but it was almost impossible.
"Church . . !" Caboose whined for help. But no help came; the halls just echoed his pleas. He stayed there, still waiting for someone to help him. But still, he was alone, like he always was. No one ever wanted Caboose around. He didn't understand why; he was always nice to everyone. Caboose became upset; his lips trembled as he tried to hold back tears. "Church . . ?"
Still nothing but a halfhearted repeat of his cries. They sounded depressed, which only made Caboose more depressed. Caboose could feel hot tears escaping from his eyes. They left clean trails on his dirt covered trails. Soon, he could start to taste his tears, and they were very salty. The salty taste only made his bad lip feel even worse.
"I miss you Church . . ." Caboose muttered to himself.
Suddenly, something grabbed Caboose's ankles and he felt someone pulling on him with tremendous strength. Caboose instinctively tried scrambling forward away from what was grabbing him. It hurt him a bit, but Caboose ignored the pain. Slowly, Caboose was dragged unwillingly out from under the bed.
Caboose turned around to see Agent Washington staring at him through his helmet. Wash had his arms crossed, as if he was motioning that he wanted an explanation. Caboose didn't understand what Wash wanted and he just climbed onto Church's bed.
"Hello Agent Washington." Caboose said through his sniffles.
"Hi Caboose." Wash said as he sat on the bet next to the Blue Team's rookie. "Do you want to tell me why you were under the bed?"
"Oh," Caboose thought for a second. "I forgot."
Wash sighed, "Do you want to tell me why you're in here?"
"I miss Church." Caboose stated quickly; no need to think there.
Wash nodded his head, understanding. "I know you do. We all do."
They sat there together in the dim lighted room. They sat in silence as each one tried to think of what to say next. Both found support with a framed picture of Blue Team on the wall. The photo was taken during the peak of the Blue Team in Blood Gulch.
Everyone was there. Tucker with his sword and a suggestive grin. Caboose who was hugging Church with a big smile and his eyes closed. Sister, who had her arms around Tex and Tucker. Tex, who was scowling and trying to ignore Sister's touch; a Magnum was in her open hand. Church with his angry face and his black hair covering his deep blue eyes. Sheila, her barrel pointed towards the camera with Andy resting on top of her. You could even see Doc's head just above of Sheila's treds, kind of scared to be a part of the photo. Everyone was happy, except for Church who was trying to push Caboose away from him.
"Agent Washington?" Caboose started to ask a question as he continued to stare at the team photo. He didn't even break his concentration on Church's face.
"Yeah, Caboose?" Wash his head around to face Caboose again.
"When is Church coming back home?" Caboose sniffled and turned to face Wash as well.
Wash sighed as he tried to find the right words. He knew this was going to come up eventually. But he was never prepared to have this conversation. This was like having the talk with a kid, except not as embarrassing.
"Caboose, Church . . . isn't coming back home." Wash bluntly said as he twiddled his thumbs.
"Why not? He came back before. From Epsilon." Caboose pointed out.
"Yes, he did. But that was a onetime thing, Caboose." Wash tried to explain. "There isn't another AI unit that could take Church's form. There aren't any AI units left at all; they were all destroyed. He's not coming back."
Caboose took that in surprisingly well . . . mentally. He understood every word that Wash said, partly because he had already known the truth. But emotionally, Caboose was starting to cry again. His big, puppy eyes were glassed with tears that shined the light off of them. Caboose rubbed the snot off of his nose.
Wash actually felt sorry for the idiot. In reality, Caboose was just a little kid, and should have been treated like one. Wash tried to put his arm around Caboose to comfort him, but Caboose just cringed away from his touch. Wash remembered that sometimes he scared Caboose, and that the kid needed a real friend to comfort him.
Too bad Caboose didn't have a real friend.
Wash got an idea just then. Quickly, Wash stood up and grabbed the top blanket of the bed. He pulled it under Caboose like a magician. Wash aired it out and then placed it around Caboose's shoulders. Caboose took kindly to this gestured and pulled the blanket closer to him.
He inhaled the smell of the blanket. It smelled like Church. Caboose could even pick out some of Church's old hairs that were tangled into the blue blanket's fabric. These were the only parts of Church that had remained over the years. It was Caboose's last connection with his bestest friend.
Wash got up to stand by the bedroom door, he held it wide open. He attentively watched Caboose cuddle with Church's old blanket.
"Let's get back to Red Base." Wash stated, knowing that they spent too much time here. "I'm not going to let Doc pick out dinner again. I've had too much rabbit food for one lifetime."
Caboose nodded and stood up, Church's blanket still covering him. Wash thought that Caboose looked like a blue nun. They walked down the halls in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence like before. This silence was accepted, partly because Caboose was finally mourning for his loss. And partly because Wash felt remorseful for Caboose.
As they made their way outside, Caboose did something that he didn't mean to. Shyly, Caboose made his way into Wash's hand. Caboose grabbed tightly to it, scared to lose someone else close to him. Wash was surprised at first, but didn't push Caboose's hand away. Instead, Wash gave it a friendly squeeze of encouragement.
Caboose secretly wished that Agent Washington's Freelancer Powers would make him feel better soon. Or at least do something that would help him out.
"Promise you'll stay with us." Caboose ordered Wash.
Wash was a bit startled with Caboose's abrupt authority. But he nodded anyway.
"I promise to stay with you, Tucker, and Doc at Blue Team." Wash said, actually meaning it.
"And don't break your promise. Church promised to read a book with me, but he never did." Caboose said, remembering that moment back in Blood Gulch.
"I won't." Wash reassured.
Caboose nodded his head, finally excepting Wash's promise. His thought's returned to his bestest friend, who was gone forever.
"He's not coming back," Caboose muttered to himself. His eyes closed as he focused on his own words. "He's not coming back."