Author's note: So I decided that you guys need to know what the heck Sherlock write to Mycroft. So I decided to upload the email. It stop in the middle, because John came in and Sherlock didn't finish it... So I hope you'll enjoy this, please leave a review, even if you hated it, tell me why, I would like to know. Thanks for everyone who made a comment about the story; your opinion is very important to me.
Mycroft,
I have no idea why I am writing to you. You probably won't help much, but you are the government, so maybe you understand more than I do.
I am a bloody idiot. I really am. I just keep messing things up, and it seems like it would never stop. John doesn't believe that what I did was for him. He still doesn't understand why I left him for 3 years. He is hurt and mad, I can see it. Mrs. Hudson just got a heart attack because of me. I am a failure. I can't deduce anymore. In our last case, John solved it all. It wasn't me. I just went blank in there. Everything I knew just disappeared. And I just couldn't say "I don't know." It was too hard, Mycroft. And Anderson was there; he would remember this for me for more than a life time. And I don't know what happened there. I can barely deduce John. And it hurts so much knowing that the one you truly loves sort of hate you right now. He is so mad at me. I can hear it in his voice and I can see it in his eyes. He is hurt. And the worst part of that is that sooner or later he will wake up and realize that I am not worth it. That I don't worth all of the troubles he is having because of me. And then he will move out. I don't blame him. If John would have faked his death and come back 3 years later, I would probably be a bit upset as well. But I don't know what I would do without him. I don't want to hurt him anymore. He is my blogger, and I will be lost without him.
I don't know what to do. I really think that I can't cope. I want John to be happy, I really do. And I don't make him happy. Because of me he is at the hospital right now with Mrs. Hudson.
For maybe the second time in my life, I don't know what to do.
I need your help. What do you think I shou