Day Five
Dave is pretty sure that his parents know he's hung over and they take great pleasure in dragging him to church. At least they don't say anything, which is probably more than he deserves. He's still getting over on the fact that they're happy he's socializing, though, which is cool.
He barely listens during the service, but he doesn't feel guilty about it. Other than a couple of weddings – including his own – and a handful of funerals, he hasn't been to church since... Probably since the last time his parents made him, which is twenty-plus years ago, inside his head. Although, in this reality, it was probably last week.
His parents go to a nice, liberal congregational church with no fire and brimstone, so he didn't ever mind too much. He's just not the religious type. He does like the part afterward when everyone goes to the church basement and eats donuts. He limits himself to one, though, mindful of his resolution to keep his eating habits in check.
He sits at the end of a table and nurses some black coffee. It's strange, but even though it's what he's had every morning for the last twenty years, it tastes bitter to his seventeen-year-old tongue. He can't really remember a time when he didn't drink it black, though.
Then his phone vibrates in his pocket, jolting him from his coffee thoughts. It's Kurt and Dave's heart leaps stupidly.
I heard you had to be chauffeured home. Big night last night? ;)
Dave snorts into his coffee cup and replies, Not that bad. Just hudson playing the hero. You shoulda come. It was a rager. He doesn't make a winky face back, never having been one for emoticons, but he hopes it's implied.
Kurt seems to get it because his response is, Lol! I bet. What are you doing today? Sleeping it off?
Dave types out, I wish! Stuck at church w my parents. He summons his courage and adds, Want to hang out when I get home?
He bites his lip hard, scarcely breathing until he gets an answer. Sure. Want to meet me at the lima bean when youre done? 2ish? Coffee for your hangover. :)
Dave can't help grinning like a dork. He texts back, Sounds good. See you there.
He's already sent it when a thought occurs to him and he curses under his breath. Wait scratch that. My cars at pucks thanks to ur bro. Might take me some time to get a ride. He holds his breath again, hoping Kurt won't cancel or something.
He makes another dorky grin when he reads Kurt's answer, though. Np i can pick you up at 2. Good?
Dave smiles the whole time as he sends Kurt his address. His parents come over to tell him it's time to go, and he sees them looking at each other happily. Must be because he's practically vibrating with joy. Hopefully they don't think it's the lord's influence or something.
"Talking to someone special?" his mom asks, a little slyly.
"Um, just my friend Kurt," Dave says, belatedly realizing that it might seem suspicious to them that he's so happy to be texting a guy.
His dad just smiles, though, and says, "This a new friend? I don't remember that name."
"Yeah," Dave says, not elaborating. "I'm, um..." He's not going to tell them in a church basement of all places, but he's not going to hide his plans, either. If they want to jump to conclusions, well... He's going to have to tell them eventually. "I'm going to go have coffee with him this afternoon, if that's okay."
His parents exchange a quick look before his mom says, "Of course, honey," holding out her hand to coax him out of the chair. He follows them out of the church, feeling like another knot has unraveled in his stomach.
Dave's parents aren't usually overly nosy, but he doesn't want to give them a chance to meet Kurt just yet. He watches carefully out the front window and when Kurt's black SUV pulls into the driveway, Dave hurries out the door, calling, "Bye! Be back later!"
He goes down the walk and gets into the passenger seat. He'd taken the tie off, but he's still wearing his church pants and button-down shirt. He's prepared to claim he didn't have time to change, but really he just wanted to look nice for Kurt. Sue him.
"So, church, eh?" Kurt asks, forgoing any pleasantries.
"Yeah. It's not that bad. They go to a really liberal church," Dave says, understanding the root of Kurt's distaste.
Kurt sniffs. "Well, that's good, I guess. You have your keys, right? Finn didn't confiscate them?"
"He did, but he gave them back," Dave says with a laugh. "He was definitely in full-on safety patrol mode."
"That's Finn all right. How's your head?"
"Oh, fine now. Good thing about being young, you know? The hangovers aren't as bad."
He bites his tongue a little, realizing that could sound like he knows from experience, but Kurt doesn't read anything into it. "That's good. Still want coffee?"
Since the alternative might be just Kurt dropping him at his car and leaving, Dave says, "Oh, definitely. I mean, if you do."
"I always want coffee," Kurt says. "I hope the rumor about it stunting your growth is a myth. I want to be five-ten, just like Cindy Crawford." He says this like it's significant, and Dave looks at him in confusion. Honestly, David, it's from Clueless. You're a terrible gay."
Dave vaguely remembers that movie, but not enough to quote it. He doesn't take offense, though. Plus he's rather pleased that Kurt called him 'David.' "Maybe you can help me. To be better, I mean."
Kurt laughs delightedly. "Oh good, because you're sort of hopeless. I'm going to need to expose you to some Judy Garland. Tell me you've at least watched The Golden Girls."
"Only all the time," Dave says, pleased to have done something right. "I didn't know it was a gay thing, though. I thought everyone liked that show."
"Everyone does. But we like it more."
Dave grins, mostly at the idea that Kurt is referring to them as a 'we.' It's like they're in a little secret club now, which is definitely a step closer to being legitimate friends, which is a step closer to falling in love and living happily ever after.
He's still grinning when they pull up in front of Puck's house. Dave reluctantly parts company with Kurt and gets in his own car, following Kurt to the coffee place.
Kurt is waiting in the parking lot and they go in together. Kurt orders some fancy thing with 'mocha' and 'soy' in the name, but Dave orders another black coffee, telling himself he got used to it once and he'll get used to it again. It's already tasting more normal to him. Although, maybe it's just that the coffee shop has much better beans than the church basement.
"So," Kurt says, once they've found a table. "Have you told your parents yet?"
"Not officially, but I think they're getting the idea."
"You should tell them officially, then. It's very cathartic. Even if they know, they still don't know until you tell them."
Dave nods. "Yeah, I will. It's just... It's not easy to say the words. It's getting easier, but it's still not... natural."
Kurt takes a sip of his drink and smiles at Dave over the rim. Dave has to bite his lip because Kurt looks almost flirty. "This is kind of fun. I'll be like, your Blaine."
"My what?" Dave asks, taken aback at the mention of the name.
"Blaine. He's this amazing guy I met recently. He goes to Dalton Academy in Westerville. He's been out for a while and he's just so sophisticated," Kurt says with a happy sigh. Dave clenches his coffee cup hard. "He really knows what it's like to be out in school. And he's just so... You really have to meet him."
"Oh, uh, sure," Dave says stupidly. "He's your... boyfriend?" Even though Sam had told him otherwise, the way Kurt's talking, well... He has to know.
Kurt laughs. "He's just a friend. For now, anyway. Blaine is so incredible! You'll love him! And I do hope this mentor/mentee relationship will blossom into something more. Wait until you see him. He's so... debonair." Kurt finishes this with a sappy grin, and Dave scowls, cursing himself again for not considering the Blaine factor before he made his time-leap.
"This is so much fun!" Kurt chirps, seemingly unaware of Dave's discomfort. "I mean, I talked with my girlfriends about him, but it's not the same as having a male companion who can really understand!"
Even though Dave – pathetically – loves the fact that Kurt has gone from slightly chilly to thinking that Dave is his BFF, he doesn't want it to be because Kurt is firmly friend-zoning him. Aside from a creepy declaration of love, he's not sure what he can do at this point, though.
Suddenly angry, he snaps, "Do we have to talk about him so much?"
Kurt recoils, looking sort of hurt. "I don't understand. He's a great person and a valuable resource for me. He could be for you, too. If you want to be out."
"I said I didn't want to be out," Dave mutters. "I don't want everyone to know. I told you that."
"Well, Blaine's not everyone. He's one of us. And since he doesn't go to McKinley, he won't spread it around. Not that he would, anyway. I'm sure he'd be discreet."
Dave grits his teeth. He's so sick of hearing Blaine referred to as some sort of paragon. Kurt barely knows the kid! And Dave and Blaine are not an 'us.'
"He's not like me," Dave says with a sneer.
Kurt's eyebrows fly up. "You haven't even met him!" he protests, and Dave realizes he's perilously close to giving himself away.
"I can tell by how you're talking about him," Dave says, which is a stupid response.
Kurt bristles. "I'm sorry. I thought you might possibly understand. My mistake for thinking this was going somewhere."
Dave stands up abruptly, because it is going somewhere, but not anywhere that Dave wants it to go.
"I don't know what to tell you. I can't talk about this shit with you," he says angrily.
"Fine then," Kurt says calmly, icing over. He stands up and snatches his coat off the chair. "I suppose I'll see you around."
With that, he turns and walks out of the coffee shop. A couple of people are staring at them, and Dave hurries out after Kurt, embarrassed. Kurt's already peeling out of the parking lot, though, and all Dave sees are his taillights.
Feeling like a complete moron, Dave gets in his car and leans his head against the steering wheel. He's here to fix things with Kurt. Not ruin everything. He should be happy for the confirmation that Sam was right and Blaine and Kurt are just friends. In the original playing-out of this scenario, Kurt and Blaine had ended up together at some point, but Dave had never really known when they'd gotten together. It's not like he'd had any occasion to ask.
Now he knows they're not together, but his complete stupidity might have just sent Kurt running into Blaine's arms. What if Kurt calls Blaine to complain about how he'd tried to befriend a big gay bully and the plan had bitten him right in the butt, and Blaine tries to comfort him, and...
Swearing, Dave picks up his phone and dials. "Sam? I ruined everything."
"Hey there!" Sam says cheerfully, undaunted by Dave's dramatics. "Let me guess. You're the reason Kurt just flew in here like a wet cat."
"Wet cat...? Wait, where are you?"
"I'm at Kurt's house with Finn. We're watching the game on Burt's TV."
"You're not talking about this in front of Finn and Kurt's dad, are you?" Dave asks, suddenly terrified.
"Of course not," Sam huffs, as if Dave doesn't give him enough credit. "I went outside as soon as you said you ruined everything. I figured 'everything' meant Kurt."
Dave feels his cheeks heat up. "It's not always about Kurt," he protests.
"But in this case, it is. So tell me what's up before Finn comes out to see what I'm doing."
"Okay, so we went out to get coffee – "
"Like a date?"
"No, just as friends. Anyway, we were having coffee and he starts telling me about how awesome Blaine is and how I have to meet him and how he's all handsome and shit, and I just... I lost it."
"Wow, that's not totally obvious or anything," Sam drawls.
"Yeah, well, he didn't take it that way. I... I kind of yelled at him. And he left."
"Jeez, dude. That's a pretty epic fail."
"I know! What can I do?" Dave moans.
"Tell him you love him?"
"Oh, shut up. You're not helpful at all."
"Sorry," Sam says, sounding actually contrite. "I'll talk to him, okay?"
It's on the tip of his tongue to protest, to tell Sam not to get involved, but he's working against the clock here. It's highly unlikely Sam could actually make it worse than it already is, so he might as well take the help. Normally, he'd try to sort it out on his own, but considering how badly he fucked up, that could take weeks that Dave doesn't have.
"That would be really cool, man. Thanks," Dave says.
"No problem. See you in school tomorrow."
After they hang up, Dave starts the car and heads for home. At least Kurt had gone home and not to see Blaine. That's a tiny comfort, but it's not really enough to lessen the sour feeling in his stomach.
He's pretty sure, based on all the folklore ever, that if Kurt isn't in love with him by the time his three hundred hours are up, this whole mess is going to be for nothing.
When he gets to his house, his parents are out somewhere, so he retreats to his room and fires up his X-Box, determined to see if he still remembers how to play anything with any level of success. He hasn't touched a video game in years. Luckily, it's like riding a bike, and he's able to zone out in front of the flickering screen, forgetting for a few pleasant moments that he's an old man who's forgotten what romance even is, stuck in a kid's body and trying to control his love life. No wonder he's fucking everything up.