"So, what's up, Sergeant?" I say trying to sound concerned.
"Well, Sir, I couldn't help but hear your conversation with your wife…"
"You were listening to my private conversation?" I say incredulously.
"What?" Hatchet says like she did nothing wrong. "The walls are really thin in this place."
"That they are…" I mutter as I stare up at the ceiling and think about how much sleep I've lost in the last year trying to block out Hatchet and Ratchet in the next room. I look back to her face and she that something is really bothering her that she needs my help with. "I swear, sometimes she's less like my sergeant and more like a little sister I feel very protective of."
"Is being married nice?" she asks with an anxious look. I find myself nervously chuckling at her question.
"Well, that's a very simple question with a very complicated answer, Hatch."
"Just try, Sir," she says walking over to my bed and sitting down.
"Hatch…."
"Sir! Please." I see that she really needs this.
"Ok," I say walking over and taking a seat next to her. "Imagine being with a person that knows you better than yourself. Someone, that you can't hide anything from, and someone that you don't want to hide anything from." I think of Lizzy's calming influence over my moods. How she can see straight through the barriers I put up around my deepest secrets and say exactly what I need to feel whole again. "Imagine, trusting someone more than you trust yourself and when they say something about you that you don't want to here, you actually are secretly grateful because you know they're right and you needed to hear it." I stare off toward the wall at the far end of the room, thinking more of my own issues than Hatchet's.
She looks at me with perplexed yet understanding eyes.
"Is it worth it?" she asks with a bit of hesitation.
"Well, that's a question you have to ask yourself, Olivia." I say with a slight smile. "Are you ready to live for someone else instead of just for yourself?"
"What about more than one someone else?"
"Say what?" I ask confused.
"What about children? You have your son, right? I heard you talking to your wife about him. Is having a kid really as good as people say it is?" I look down to the floorboards totally out of my element. After all, Lizzy is the counselor, not me.
"It can be hard…" I say thinking of the pain I feel every day knowing that Octavian is growing up without his father.
"I didn't ask if it was hard," Hatchet says firmly. "I asked if it was worth it." She looks at me with her fierce blue eyes again. "Tell me what it was like the moment your son was born."
"Why do you want to know this all of a sudden?"
"Just tell me, Sir!" I stare straight back at her.
"It was the strangest moment of my life," I say trying to get my thoughts together.
"How?"
"It was the only time I've ever felt completely terrified, but utterly ecstatic at the same time." Hatchet smiles and looks away. "Alright, Olivia, enough tip-toeing around it. Why did you go from super solider to love-sick puppy in less than twenty-four hours?" I expect to get a tongue-lashing from Hatchet, but there is none. She just does something totally unexpected. She sighs and then rests her head on my shoulder. I freeze, completely unable to process what has just happened. It's very easy to forget that she's not just one of the boys sometimes.
"Sergeant," I finally am able to get out, "What are you doing?" She doesn't move at all.
"You know, Sir," she says with a smile on her lips, "it's kinda funny…"
"What is?" I say nervously, afraid to move like I have a hungry wolverine resting inches from my face.
"I was never really able to connect with my mother, or any other woman, in fact. I'm always so afraid to show anyone who I really am since I'm always trying to put on this big and tough soldier girl routine. I've got to after all since I'm leading guys into combat. They don't want to see a woman, they want to see a big tough guy like them. But with you, for the first time ever, I feel safe to let you see the real me and know you'll still respect me in action."
"Thank you, Olivia," I say trying to maintain my composure. "I'm not even sure how to take that…" She lifts her head off my shoulder and stares right at me.
"Gratefully," she says with her old fierceness returning. I'm very uncomfortable right now. After all, I'm not supposed to be Hatchet's friend. I'm supposed to be her commander, able to send her on a mission that could possibly result in her death at a moment's notice. I'm torn by my desire to cut her off and demand that she return to our previous state of detached professionalism…but I also understand that here, on the other side of the world, we need a special relationship between the members of our team. We're alone here in Britannia and need to lean on each other very hard to maintain our humanity. Despite all my instincts, I decide to be the confidant she needs me to be at this moment.
"Alright, Hatch," I say staring her down. "Tell me the truth. What the hell is going on with you right now?" She looks away for a brief moment, but then turns right back at me, flashing her bright eyes right at mine.
"Clint asked me to marry him last night. He told me that seeing that poor girl from the TEC made him realize what was really important, and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He wants me to be the mother of his children."
"And you want to know what marriage is like before you tell him yes?" I say coming to a bit of understanding.
"Not quite…" she says a bit standoffishly.
"What do you mean?" I ask apprehensively.
"I already told him yes…"
"Wow…." I say genuinely taken aback. I stare at the wall across from me and realize that the entire dynamic of the team has changed. "And obviously, you're concerned that the war will last a long time and make planning your wedding more difficult?" I ask hopefully.
"Not quite…" she says very standoffishly.
"What?"
"We want to get married here in Britannia…next week."
"WHAT!" I say bolting to my feet. "You can't be serious?"
"I absolutely am, Sir," she says quite aggressively.
"Why? Why could you possibly want to change things on the team so much when we're finally so close to taking the fight to the TEC?"
"Because, you're right. We don't know how long this war is going to last. And the next time we go into action together, we want to know that if one of us doesn't come back, we already committed ourselves to each other." I pace back and forth across the room a few times trying to wrap my head around this. Finally, I'm able to look her in the face and ask:
"It sounds like you two have already made up your minds. Why are you asking my opinion, Sergeant?" She glares at me with an annoyed look.
"Two reasons, Sir," she grumbles.
"And they are?" I ask a little upset.
"The first is that we want your approval. You are our commander after all. We're professional enough to realize we can't change the team so much without making sure our boss is on the same page." I bury my face in my hands and have no idea what to say.
"Sir," Hatchet says sternly. "Have Ratchet and I ever acted unprofessionally in action as a result of our relationship?"
"No," I say rubbing my eyes.
"And do you have a reason to think that if we get married our behavior will change toward each other? That I will be compromised in my ability to lead Ratchet, Doc, and Tiller in combat against our enemies?"
"No…"
"Then what's the problem?" she asks climbing to her feet.
"It's just…" I hesitate a bit before finally spitting out my answer. "It's just I'm not used to talking about two of my soldiers marrying each other." Hatchet just cocks her head to the side and sticks out her chin.
"Welcome to the new world, Sir," she says firmly. "We'll abide by any decision you make, but it better be made for the right reason. I think you owe us that." She's right…I do. I straighten myself out and look her dead in the eyes.
"Very well, Sergeant Sawbleyde, you have my permission to marry Sergeant Hightower."
"Thank you, Sir," she says with a huge smile.
"That reminds me," I say grinning, "What will I call you after next week? Or should I say what will I call Ratchet? Will he be Mr. Sawbleyde?" We both laugh.
"No Sir," Hatchet says grinning. "I'll be Sergeant Hightower as well…but you can still call me 'Hatchet."
"Nice," I say. "Oh, you said there was another reason?"
"Yes Sir…" Hatchet says even more nervously than before.
"What is it?" I say with a smile.
"Clint and I were kind of hoping…that you would perform the ceremony, Sir."
"Me?" I say totally shocked. "Why would you want me to do it? I've never performed a marriage ceremony before. Don't you two want somebody who will be able to make it special?"
"Sir," she says looking at me with a smirk. "Neither of us are very religious and District 7 and District 3 have totally different ceremonies. What would make it special for us is for the ceremony to be performed by someone who we both care about."
"And that's me?" I ask incredulously.
"Who else would it be?" Hatchet says chuckling. I just turn a bit red.
"I guess I never thought that you guys cared about me as much as I cared about you…"
"Well then, Sir," Hatchet says shaking her head, "you're an idiot." Both of us laugh again.
"In that case, Olivia, if it's what you both want…I'll do it." Hatchet's face lights up and she dashes over to me. Before I can react, she throws her arms around me and hugs me tight.
"You're amazing, Sir," she whispers right into my ear. I can't help but wonder if this is the same woman that I saw blow through three TEC guards and take out an anti-aircraft battery with a rocket launcher just two days ago. I slowly raise my hands and awkwardly pat her on the back.
"Thank you, Sergeant. I appreciate that…" Hatchet pulls way and begins pacing around the room.
"There's so much to do with so little time," she says brushing some hair out of her face. "Plus, I personally promise that not a single mission will be compromised by this. We'll completely plan this on our personal time."
"I appreciate your professionalism…." Hatchet interrupts me before I can finish my thought.
"And I guarantee that you won't have to a worry about a single detail. We'll take care of the ceremony and you'll just have to show up, Sir."
"Well, if you need me to rehearse something, just let me know…"
"This is amazing!" Hatchet says acting like I'm not even in the room. "I've got to tell Clint! I'll see you around, Sir. Thank you again!" Hatchet spins around and dashes out my door. As she slams it behind her, I find myself alone again. After a few seconds of wrapping my head around this newest crazy series of events, I walk over to my bed and collapse in a heap on top of the mattress. As I stare up at the wooden beams of the ceiling, I let my thoughts drift through the chaos and revelations of the last few days: Angus, Maggie, Lizzy, Hatchet and Ratchet… Suddenly, I begin to laugh hysterically at the top of my lungs. Even though it means I'm probably losing my mind, I know that somehow things will work out. How could they not when everyone is planning for the future?