Doug was starting to feel the effect of his sleepless nights and Pacey was starting to notice as one day at the Ice House, Doug was sitting staring into space having not drunk any of his, now cold cup of coffee, Pacey sat down opposite him and said:

"Are you ok Doug?"

"Yeah, why" Doug replied rather shortly.

"I don't know, you just seem kind of out of it" Pacey remarked.

"Just having a bad week Pacey" Doug retorted.

"Well, Ok, Dougie, but you know that I'm here if you need to talk?" Pacey said softly as he got up to return to work.

"Why would I want to do that?" Doug snapped.

"Gee, I don't know Doug, maybe because that's what families do? Or least at, normal families and not ones like ours I guess!"

"Sorry, Pace, didn't mean to snap, it's nothing really" Doug said unconvincingly.

"Ok, if you're sure, but you know where I am if you change your mind" Pacey said as he patted him on the shoulder and left Doug to his thoughts.

Even if I talked to Pacey, what would I say? Doug thought when even I don't know what's going on in my own head? How can I put all this into words? What I'm feeling? What I'm thinking…..about Jack?

Doug had enough of his own whirring thoughts so decided to go for a run, a run always helped him to clear his mind, so he left the Ice House and went home to change into his running gear.

As he was running along the beach, he was aware of someone else running, close behind him. He looked back to see none other the one person he was trying to stop thinking about: Jack.

"Hey!" Doug said as he slowed down to allow Jack to catch up.

"Hi" Jack smiled and fell in place next to Doug.

They ran in silence for the next mile before they both stopped to stretch.

"So, have you thought about that job?" Doug finally asked once he had regained his breath.

"Yeah I start in the Fall…." Jack said breathlessly.

"Oh, right so you're sticking around then?" Doug said trying to sound casual.

"Looks like it!" Jack replied "So I guess we will be seeing more of each other" he suddenly blurted out.

"Yes, it does." Doug said then added "Well I best get back, I'm due back at work in an hour, see ya later Jack"

"Bye" Jack replied with that smile that Doug thinks about…..

As Doug turned to leave Jack couldn't help but watch him…..Oh man, is he fit? Jack thought to himself, shaking his head as he really shouldn't be thinking those kinds of thoughts about the Sheriff.

Doug and Jack were running along the beach, together, Doug feeling the happiest he has ever felt from being in the company of someone. He would turn to see Jack's gorgeous eyes and get lost in them…..he would look at his lips…..longing to kiss them….he would look at Jack's torso through the sweaty t-shirt and imagine running his hands over it….he would look at Jack's ass….wishing he could…

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Doug screamed as he woke up sweating after having the same recurring dream, he would always wake up at the same point each time….he didn't want to dream anymore than he already was out of fear and confusion as Doug knew that maybe one day these kinds of feelings would resurface.

Doug knew that he had to tell someone before they consume him and take over his life. He reached for his cell phone and dialled the only person he knew he could trust: Pacey.

"Doug?" Pacey said sleepily "You ok?"

"Errr, not really, you know that you said I could talk to you…."

"Yeah but it's…..2 in the morning man!" Pacey yawned.

"Sorry I know, but it's really important? Can I come over?"

"What now?" Pacey asked a little more alert now.

"Yeah please Pace, I really need to talk" Doug said with tinge of urgency in his voice that made Pacey worry.

"Yeah, course, come on over!"

Pacey put the phone down and went to make some coffee wondering what the hell Doug could want to talk to him about at 2am in the morning?

Thirty minutes later Doug was sitting in Pacey's sitting room hugging a cup of fresh coffee that Pacey had just made.

Pacey was sitting opposite him with a worried expression, waiting patiently for Doug to speak….

"Thanks Pacey for agreeing to see me at this hour…." Doug finally spoke "…I have been having trouble sleeping lately and…" he trailed off not sure what to say next.

Pacey slowly said "I knew something was troubling you, I have never seen you like this Doug and to be honest it's scaring me? Has something happened…..are you ill?" Pacey finished saying and Doug immediately shook his head "No, I'm not ill….but there is something going on that I am having trouble putting into words…." Doug trailed off again, finding it hard expressing himself.

Pacey stayed quiet as Doug continued "I have never been one to lay my heart on my sleeve, you know me Pace, I like to keep my life in order and be private, keep my feelings hidden and I find it hard to express myself, even to family….." He looked at Pacey at this point as he had been focussing on the floor "can I ask you something?"

Pacey looked at him at nodded "yeah, course, anything?"

"When you used to tease me about being gay, did you know or where you just trying to wind me up?"

Pacey looked at Doug in disbelief to what he was just asked… did he just say did he know? Did I know what? Pacey thought.

"I was an idiot back then Doug and I knew the only way to push your buttons was to comment on your sexuality! But did I think you were actually gay? No I didn't…" Pacey trailed off as the realisation suddenly hit him…he looked straight into Doug's eyes and saw the fear in them "Doug, what are you saying?" Pacey finally asked him.

"I'm saying…" Doug started to reply but couldn't finish the sentence he didn't want to say it out loud but he could tell Pacey knew what he meant.

Pacey suddenly said "Does this have something to do with Jack?"

Doug shifted uncomfortably on the settee "yeah….." he whispered so quietly that Pacey could hardly hear.

"Are you telling me that you have feelings for Jack?" Pacey boldly asked.

"I don't know is the honest answer…I have been thinking about him a lot and have been dreaming…about him" Doug said burying his head in his hands "I'm scared Pacey, I'm really scared. I have never felt like this before….." Doug trembled.

Pacey stood up, crossed the room and sat down next to his brother and softly said "Its ok, its ok" and he put his arm around Doug as he started to sob. Once he stopped he was too tired to continue to talk, so Pacey helped him to his bed while Pacey took the settee.