RPOV

2 days . . .

1 week . . .

2 weeks . . .

I sat on my bed staring at the wall. It is my entire fault, Mason dying, Dimitri leaving. It's my entire fault.

I looked around for something to do, but all I could find was already finished homework. Ever since I woke up I've done nothing. All my friends are worried and look at me like I'm about to have a break down. I don't eat, I don't talk, and I am nothing.

I was about to go back to bed, when I saw some scissors. Then I remembered what Lissa said.

'It helps release the mental pain I am suffering.'

I wondered if it would help me.

I sat on my bed, pulled back my sleeve and exposed me wrist, I opened the scissors and just as I cut myself, the door burst open.

"Rose! NO! Don't do it!" Lissa ran over to me and took the scissors off me.

I was confused, how did she know what I was going to do.

"I've improved the bond Rose, I can tell what you are feeling, thinking, everything." My eyes widened. She knows why I'm upset.

"Yes Rose I know why you are depressed."

"I am not depressed." I said stubbornly.

"Yes you are, this is what happened to me remember. I resolved to cut myself when I was depressed."

Everything came back and I burst out crying. Lissa came over and comforted me, just as the boys arrived.

They looked at me, than Lissa, than the scissors, then my wrist and gasped.

"What happened Lissa? We were talking when all of a sudden you sprinted away crying out something about Rose cutting . . ." Christian paused and he realised what happened.

We sat in silence until Lissa came up with an idea, which I didn't like.

"No Lissa, please no." I begged.

"Yes it is the only way to make sure you won't cut yourself again."

"No."

"What are you talking about?" Adrian asked.

"Lissa has come up with the worst idea ever." I emphasised the words 'worst' and 'ever' to make it sound more dramatic.

"No it isn't. Every night and every day, someone has to stay with Rose and keep an eye on her." Lissa said.

"No," I said.

"That's a good idea." Eddie said. "I'll stay with her tonight if you guys like."

"Sure." Lissa said

"No,"

"Rose, stop complaining, you'll never win." Lissa said. I knew she was right, so I crossed my arms in defeat.

"We are going to have to tell Kirova so she doesn't get the wrong impression and knows what is going on." Christian said and my eyes widened,

"No, no, no, no, NO! We are no telling her, she might send me to a councillor and they sound HORRIBLE!" I said.

"I can make sure she doesn't. But we are telling her." Lissa said. I frowned.

"Eddie, can you stay with her while we tell Kirova?" Lissa asked.

"Sure."

Lissa, Christian and Adrian stood up and left.

"Great. Just great. Now Kirova will have to tell the guardians and soon everyone will know how mental I am and how I cut myself." I grumbled lying down on my bed.

"I doubt everyone will find out." Eddie said.

I looked up and memories from Spokane flooded in my mind. I broke down crying and Eddie came over and comforted me.

I was still crying when the others came back and to my disappointment, Kirova was with them.

When Lissa saw me crying, she came over and asked Eddie what happened.

"I don't know, she looked at me and started crying."

Kirova looked shocked by the fact that I am crying and that I have cut myself.

"What's the matter Little Dhampir?" Adrian asked.

"Everything," I answered. I felt Lissa feel the bond to see what is wrong, when she found it she felt sorry for me.

"Rose, it isn't your fault, things like this happen." Lissa said making Kirova confused. Christian saw this and explained what is going on.

"Lissa improved the bond and can tell what Rose is feeling, thinking, doing etc."

"Do you care to tell me what the matter with Rose is and why she resolved to cutting herself?" Kirova asked.

"Um. . ." Lissa said. I shook my head and sent Lissa a message.

'Don't tell her about the D- thing that doesn't have anything to do with Spokane.'

'I have to.' She answered.

'NO!'

The others watched our 'mental' battle with curiosity.

"Fine," Lissa said out loud.

"Well?" Kirova asked.

"She is guilty about what happened in Spokane." Lissa said.

"That's not the only thing." Kirova said. "And I have a right to know."

"Sorry Rose." Lissa said.

"It also has something to do with Guardian Belikov leaving." As soon as she said the name I broke out in tears.

"What about him leaving?" She pushed on.

"I'm not quite sure."

'Rose I need you to tell me what happened.' Lissa sent through the bond.

I shook my head. 'No.'

'Please Rose.'

'No.' I jutted my chin out stubbornly.

'What happened between you and Dimitri?' The name made me crack and all the memories of the Lust spell, the time I kissed him in training, everything, came rushing into my head.

Lissa gasp.

"Oh My God Rose, why didn't you tell me?" she exclaimed. I burst out crying again.

"Princess, what happened?" Kirova said.

"I can't tell you here. Can we go somewhere more Private?" Lissa asked.

"Sure. Rose you are coming to."

I stood up and Lissa put her arm around me. We walked out of my room and followed Kirova. The bad thing is that the hall was filled with people and they saw me, bloodied and crying. They turned to each other and were whispering.

I caught words like 'Crazy' and depressed' but Lissa covered my ears so I couldn't hear anything else.

'Thank you' I sent to her through the bond.

'That's okay.' She said.

'I'm sorry for not telling you about him.'

'That's okay, I forgive you.' I smiled at her and we entered a meeting room.