A little bit faster of an update this time. :)

However, I am attending a camp through Saturday which doesn't allow technology, so no updating until the next Monday. I will write the chapter out longhand though, so it should be up Monday unless I've been mauled by a bear or drowned in the canoe lake or something.

I'm sorry in advance for the angst.

Enjoy.

Chapter Six

Lost Hopes

Sunlight streamed in through the small window, casting yellow dots over his face. Frowning and furrowing his brow, Hiccup slowly awoke to the wood of his ceiling. Trying to clear the fog of sleep, he immediately began going over a schedule for the day. Dragon training, of course, then stopping off at the forge to grab what he needed. Then he and Toothless would...

Toothless

He sat up with a gasp, the previous night's events flooding back to him. How had he gotten back here? How long had he been asleep? Was Toothless even still alive?

Pushing back the blankets, Hiccup stood on unsteady feet. Using the small dresser next to his bed for support, he regained his balance and silently made his way to the door. Hearing no sound, he continued downstairs warily.

"Hiccup Horrendous Haddock, where the hell do you think you're going?"

He froze, breath catching in his throat. Turning, he saw his father sitting in a chair next to the cold hearth, waiting for him.

It was quiet for a long moment before Stoick said "I should have known. I should have seen the signs."

"D-Dad, I'm sorry, I was going to tell you but-"
"How long has this been going on? Has everything been a trick? A lie?" He stood up, and Hiccup took a hasty step backwards.

"I-I screwed up, I know. I only found him a week ago, but please, Dad, please be mad at me, take this out on me, just don't...don't hurt Toothless?"

His father grasped his shoulder. "The dragon? That's what you're worried about? Not the people that were almost killed trying to drag you away from that thing?"
"He was just trying to protect me!" Hiccup's voice rose. "He was just protecting me, he's not dangerous!"

Stoick's hand tightened around his shoulder and he winced at the flash of pain. "They've killed hundreds of us!"

"And we've killed thousands of them." Stoick huffed, pushing him away. "T-Toothless didn't hurt me, he could have killed me, but he didn't. Have you ever once considered the thought that maybe we've been wrong this whole time?"

A new fury sparked to life in Stoick's eyes. "Aye. I considered it once. She almost had me convinced. But then it attacked us, and killed your mother, and ever since then, I've known. Known that dragons are Hel's own fiends and only care for killing." He set his jaw. "And I'll rip apart every dragon I come across, starting with that Night Fury."

Hiccup's eyes went wide. "No, Dad, no!" He reached for his father's arm. "For once in your life would you please just listen to me?!"

For a moment, he thought he might. Stoick's face softened infinitesimally, and gazed at his son with an unreadable expression. Then his eyes hardened, and he shook him off. "You've thrown your lot in with them." He opened the door to go outside. "You're not a Viking. You're not my son."

The door slammed shut, leaving Hiccup with that declaration, and silence.

He couldn't breathe for a moment as the reality hit him. Stoick had disowned him, with three words that might as well have killed him. Hiccup had always leaned on being the chief's son for some modicum of protection, and now he no longer had that. No longer had Toothless. No longer had anything.

Gasping, he braced himself against the wall, tears springing to life behind his eyes. Usually he would force them back, but now, he let them flow freely, running down his face and neck and soaking into his tunic. Crying turned into sobbing, a harsh sound that grated against his throat, and he tucked his legs against his chest, burying his face into his knees.

Everything had spiraled out of control so quickly. Grounded, so near to flight, literally.

Now Toothless was dead or dying. He had lost his family, no matter how badly they had treated him, and the scorn was only sure to get worse. For a moment, he seriously considered running to the cliffs and throwing himself off into the ocean, but the thought was instantly banished. He couldn't kill himself. Not while there was still a chance.

But what was there to be done?

~o~O~o~

The great hall was not empty, as Hiccup wished. It was after the usual lunch hour, but there were still several stragglers, all of whom eyed Hiccup with angry and suspicious glances. He did his best to ignore them, but he was distinctly exhausted. His body was tired, his mind spent, and his emotions strung through a washing ringer. It was all he could do to keep from having a breakdown while eating, as quickly as he possibly could.

A heavy sort of moroseness had settled over his shoulders, and he hunched over his plate. A few stray tears fell unnoticed on the table.

Finally, he finished eating. Leaving his plate on the table, he hastily stood, nearly running into another Viking, and headed towards the forge. He wasn't sure why he wanted to go there-but he had always found peace and privacy in the little back room, and needed those things now.

Upon arriving, however, he wasn't sure it was such a good choice. Tacked up to the walls and scattered over the desk and floor were drawings of Toothless, of his tailfin, of him lounging around the cove, Toothless, Toothless, over and over again. Hiccup's hands began shaking, and with a cry of fury and anguish, he ripped down all the papers. They tore apart in his hands, crumpling and twisting, charcoal smearing. Out of breath and gasping, he looked up to see two sole surviving pictures. One was a picture of him and Toothless, the moment in the cove when he had put all faith in the dragon, reaching out to him.

The other was a picture of Astrid.

Astrid. He had barely thought of her, at least romantically.

His eyes went wide and his jaw slackened as a realization hit him. Astrid must have told everyone about him and Toothless. The day before, in the woods, she must have followed him. Snatching the picture off the wall, he pulled it apart viciously. Rage flooded through his veins like a tidal wave, and he screamed, a low feral sound that ripped from his throat and crashed to his ears. The sudden surge of emotion was too much and he burst into tears once more.

Leaning his head against the wall, he cried so hard his body shook. It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair! He had done everything he possible could to please people, to not be the screw up, the useless one. But nothing had been enough. Ever since he was old enough for people to care, it had been a constant parade of angry remarks and disappointed leers. He almost would have preferred physical abuse. At least that healed, only left a scar on the skin that could fade away.

But the mental beatings given to him by himself and others...those were seared into his memory forever.

~o~O~o~

"Hiccup?"

He shook his head viciously, not even turning.

"Go away Gobber."

"Hiccup, I'm worried about you." There was genuine concern in the blacksmith's voice, but Hiccup wanted none of it.

"You weren't so worried when all I wanted was someone to care." His eyes were closed, and if it weren't for his red cheeks and tear tracks lining down his face, Hiccup might appear to be peaceful.

Gobber sighed. "I know that we probably should have payed you more attention, but-"

"Probably?" Hiccup's eyes snapped open, and he pushed himself to his feet. "You never gave a damn how I felt. So blind to me that those moments that I..." He trailed off, losing his energy. "Just leave. None of you ever cared that all I wanted was a friend."

"You know that's not true." Gobber tried to protest, but stopped when Hiccup gave a soft sigh.

"It's true enough."

The words cut deeply, and Gobber gave up trying to help. With a stoic nod, he murmured "I'll just leave you be, then."

The cloth flap fell back into place. Hiccup gazed at the destroyed studio, feeling a small twinge of regret at having destroyed so many hours of work. But it didn't matter anymore. Toothless was dead. He had no use for them anymore.

Hiccup had no sense of how much time had passed save for the slowly dwindling light he could see through the edges of the entryway, and the growing sense of hunger in his stomach. Not that he wanted to eat. The candle had flickered out long ago, the wick burned away completely, and he had never stood up to light another one.

Gobber reappeared in the entryway.

"I thought I told you to leave." Hiccup said, trying to put some of his previous anger in the words. But he only felt a dull numbness.

"Your father is calling a meeting in the great hall. You're required to attend."

"He's not my father anymore."

"Ah, don't be overdramatic." Gobber said.

"I'm not." The weight settled more heavily on him. "He disowned me earlier."

Shock played over Gobber's face in a series of rapid emotions and coordinating expressions, and Hiccup felt a small flare inside. At least someone recognized the injustice of it all.

"Stoick then. Called a meeting. You need to go."

"I'll be there." Hiccup promised, and Gobber left.

It took a while for him to work up the energy to stand, but he eventually ambled his way to the great hall where he was once again greeted with glares from every direction. Not that he cared. But when he tried to take a seat in the back, Stoick shook his head, and gestured to the chair next to him.

What was this? Execution by public shunning?

"Alright, quiet down, quiet down!" Stoick ordered, and the hall quickly fell silent. "I know that there has been some disturbance here over the last day-"

"Understatement!" Someone called, and Stoick glared in the general direction of the speaker.

"However," He continued. "I believe that this is a solution which will benefit everyone." He paused. "I have been thinking on the best way to kill the Night Fury, and raise one of Berk's heroes to his proper place."

Toothless was still alive. It was like a blinding flare of light. Alive, alive, alive...

"The only two candidates left in dragon training were Hiccup and Astrid Hofferson"-here some low cheering from the Hofferson's area of the room- "And I propose that we both let them kill a dragon. They were essentially tied anyways."

"No fair!"
"Astrid should get to kill it herself!"

"What are you doing letting that traitor in the arena?"

Hiccup flinched, and pulled back into his chair, though that did nothing to stem the tide of comments.

"Enough!" Stoick pounded a fist on the table. "Astrid will get to kill the Monstrous Nightmare, and all due praise that goes with that. However, I believe that since Hiccup was the one who shot the Night Fury down..."

"Oh gods no..." Hiccup breathed, too silently to be heard by anyone.

"He will be accepted back into the village and claim uncontested chieftainship for killing it in the arena tomorrow!"

The crowd yelled its approval, shouts layering over one another while Stoick beamed at the well-reception of his idea.

And Hiccup slid down in his chair, desperately trying to hold back more tears for when he was back home.