Tegan jolted back slightly, embarrassed at the feelings Sara's sentence conjured in her. It wasn't a sentence that would usually fall from her sister's reserved mouth, but when she had been drinking, Sara was all about being blunt. Tegan coughed awkwardly as she crept her way back to her side of the bed again,
"warm enough yet?"
Sara spun herself round to look at her sister the best she could in the absent light. She squinted adding to the puzzled and slightly frustrated look that played on her face before she began to interrogate Tegan.
"Seriously, what the hell is your problem Tegan? You've been acting so weird lately"
Tegan shifted uncomfortably beneath the sheets of the bed, lifting them up slightly to let cool air into the increasingly heated climate that surrounded her. She shrugged Sara off, unable to give her a decent answer. There were so many excuses she could have used; she felt weird being back on tour, she was homesick, she was having some personal problems, she was ill, tired, hormonal – she could have tried anything, but she knew that Sara wouldn't buy it. She wasn't stupid. After spending their whole lives together it was easy to catch each other out when it came to lying.
"How can just pass it off? You really haven't been yourself lately Tegan"
"I'm just…I" She trailed off, looking around the room for an excuse to get away from the question "I don't really want to talk about it, okay?"
It wasn't like Tegan to brush Sara off when something was getting her down, which made her sister slightly worried. She placed a comforting hand on Tegan's arm and looked her directly in the eyes, her gaze soft but penetrating – even in the dim light.
"Tegan, you can talk to me about anything, hell, you usually do talk to me about anything…If this is serious I'd like to think that you could come to me for help"
Tegan glanced down at her sister's hand on her arm, her skin seeming to pulsate underneath it, sending white hot blood coursing through her veins. She looked back at Sara who stared at her intently, almost searching behind her eyes for any problems that were weighing her sister down. Tegan bit her lip worryingly, she wanted to open up to Sara, but this was an issue she couldn't open up to anyone about. The longer she lay in silence the more she could see the emotion in Sara's eyes.
"Honestly Sar, it's nothing", Tegan did her best to look sincere, letting the room fall silent again.
Sara was always one for showing more emotion and compassion after a good few drinks too, making it difficult for Tegan to try and ignore the issue without upsetting her - She knew she was hurting her by not letting her in. They were so close, especially after Sara's break up, and it was hurting Sara knowing that she trusted Tegan with everything, but apparently the feeling wasn't reciprocated.
"Alright, I guess it must be nothing then…"
Sara turned back onto her side, leaving Tegan feeling as empty and blank as the wall her sister was now staring at. She didn't know how to fix the situation, figuring it would just be best to sleep on it – perhaps when she woke up Sara would have forgotten about even mentioning her change in character. She would definitely try to improve on her masking skills too, if Sara noticed there was something bothering her, then maybe other people did too. The last thing she need was her therapist mother questioning her on her behavior only to find out it was because she wanted to be with her sister.
"I'm only trying to help Tegan…"
Sara mumbled from the other side of the bed, still facing away from Tegan, her emotion replaced with bitterness towards the fact that Tegan wouldn't open up. With her arms tucked tightly inwards to her chest, gripping onto a fistful of duvet, Sara turned to Tegan once more, a growl now replacing her once soft features,
"It's good to know that you can't even tell your own siste-"
"For Christ sake Sara! I like someone, okay? Are you fucking happy know? I'm miserable as fuck because I like someone, and I cant fucking have them - and the reason I didn't tell you is because I don't want to on my fucking back about it"
Sara blinked, slightly taken aback by her sisters snappy confession, nodding quickly and wide eyed as she watched for the steam that was sure to erupt from her sisters ears. Tegan's scorn eased itself from her face gradually before she gave a forced sigh and turned round to sleep, dragging Sara's covers with her. Sara huffed in protest, grabbing the quilt back from her sister, who resisted causing the two of them to take part in an awkward tug of war before Sara won wrapping herself in the duvet before glaring at Tegan who was wearing a defeated pout. The two sisters couldn't help but break into grins.
"Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me"
"You practically fucking shook it out of me", Tegan smiled at her sister, actually glad that she had semi-confessed, feeling a bit of the weight being lifted from her shoulders.
"We're not going to get to sleep tonight are we?" Sara blinked, rubbing her eyes and sitting upright on the bed.
Tegan merely nodded, shifting her position to match her sisters, "I don't even know why I got into bed, I'm not even tired…"
"Me neither…think the boys are back yet?"
"I doubt it, they're probably still out drinking or scoring", Tegan screwed up her face the last word.
"Drinking and scoring huh? Sounds like fun…up for following suite?"
Tegan froze on the spot, jaw falling open, unable to even mutter incoherently, besides even stringing together a decent response. Did she just say what I think she said?"Tegan? Do you want a drink or not?"
Tegan shook herself back into consciousness - Her heart slowing to its normal pace and the blood returning to her limbs when she realized that Sara meant that they should have more drinks - not sleep with each other.
"Are you being serious, it's like, nearly 3am Sara, plus I think we've already had a fair amount to drink, don't you?"
"Yeah, but, c'mon…It's not like we have anything to do for the next couple of days – besides, how often is it we get a full week to ourselves on a tour? Live a little Tegan", Sara finished off her sentence with a sly wink as she reached for the phone of the bedside cabinet, "Thank god for twenty-four hour room service"
Tegan couldn't argue; Sara was right, it wasn't often that they got such a good break in between shows, so why shouldn't she live it up on what little downtime she got. Besides, there was nothing she would rather do than spend her spare time having fun with Sara.
"Hey, can I order room service please…sure, it's room B117. Can I have a bottle of red wine please, with two glasses" Sara cocked her eyebrows at Tegan, who mouthed at her while raising two fingers, causing Sara to throw her head back and laugh silently, "sorry, can you make that two bottles please. Great, Okay, bye"
The pair burst into giggles as Sara put the phone down,
"You do know that's going to cost you a fucking bomb Sar?"
"Cost me? You're the one who wanted to order two bottles" Sara shrieked in mock anger as she playfully shoved Tegan who sat on the edge of the bed – a little too hard. Tegan fell to the floor unwillingly, hands clawing at the linen sheets furiously as she teetered on the edge before toppling fully. Sara raced to the other side of the bed, peering over the end of the mattress to check if her sister was okay. She found Tegan sprawled out on the cream carpet, not amused with her sister's laughing from above her before Sara reached out a hand to help her up. Tegan tugged her forcefully, getting her own back on her sister, pulling her from atop the bed and straight onto her lap. Sara sat up slowly, head swirling from her drunkenness, ignited again by all the hyperactivity, looking down at Tegan who seemed to be wearing a slight flush in her cheeks as well as a noticeably uncomfortable look.
"You're such a goof Tegan"
Tegan remained statue-like on the floor as her sister continued to innocently straddle her, unaware of the blood that was currently rushing to her sisters core with every second she sat on top of her middle. The fact that Tegan hadn't even bothered to shove her off or whine about the close contact like she usually would confused Sara slightly, but she figured that it was maybe all the excessive alcohol that was making her sister more touchy-feely. What ever it was, it was making Sara uneasy as a long, dragging silence filled the room, making Sara feel awkward – but she felt that if she moved it would only make matters worse. She was saved by the bell, or knock, as the room service called at the door, finally giving her an appropriate reason to get off of her sister. Tegan was left out of breath when Sara eventually got to the door, still laying on the floor, hidden behind the bed – out of sight of the room service boy who flashed Sara a confused look when handing over the two bottles of cabernet sauvignon – eyes closed and breathing heavily as she tried to calm herself down, overwhelmed by what just happened. She would need to pull herself together.