I do not, will not and can not own Bleach. Pity me people, pity me.

I'm going to reply to a few reviewers in my authors note for one simple reason. I allow anonymous reviewers and as I cannot reply to them through their account, I may as well do it here. So, for the people with accounts, I may reply to you here, I may not. Also, I'll only be replying to the ones in the last chapter to keep things simple. Anyhow, you'll find the replies at the bottom of the page, after the story, because I'm nice like that.

Coming down the stairs the next morning, which led straight into the living room, Rukia expected to find a disaster. No, it would be better to say that she expected Hell. From the way they had left it last night, her hopes weren't exactly flying high with the angels. But, alas, as she should have known, her expectations, (almost) never came through. Only one piece of her prediction came true. Scattered bodies did, indeed litter the living room, in some…unusual places, but the space around them was miraculously clean, spotless in fact. No more empty sake bottles, no more piles of dirt (don't ask, you'll know soon enough), Hell, even the gum art Rangiku had made on the carpet was gone. It was as though ninja maids or something had swept through the house without waking a soul. Though Rukia doubted they could have woken any of the drinkers, as they were practically comatose. Toshiro was sleeping in an empty flowerpot for gods sake.

"At least someone had fun last night," Ichigo grumbled, coming down the stairs seconds behind Rukia, his orange hair a disheveled mess, well, more so than usual anyway.

He wasn't kidding. "Do you think we should wake them?" Rukia asked, looking over her shoulder, craning her neck to see his face. He wasn't looking at her, rather his amber eyes observed the scene before them, a scowl on his face.

"Nah. Let's just leave them. It's no skin off our backs if they wake up late and hung-over." Ichigo replied. With that he walked off, disappearing behind the kitchen door. Rukia sighed, glancing at Momo, sleeping peacefully on the floor. Not surprisingly, Rangiku ended up with the couch. Though Toshiro still had it the worst, the childlike man's small form crumpled into the flowerpot. Ah well, it wasn't Rukia's fault karma had to be such a bitch.

Ulquiorra was a steadfast man, or well, a rather unemotional man, however, he prefers steadfast for the manly implications, so we'll go with that. He was also rather observant, though he didn't always understand what he was seeing. Such as a man grumbling about how much he hated cats while secretly feeding the neighborhood stray every evening, or the elderly who complained about aches and sores, yet refused to allow another to exert themselves in their place. Ichigo Kurosaki and Rukia Kuchiki were about to become a prime oddity on his list that he simply couldn't comprehend. Two people that hated each other, yet had so much in common. And, of course, their epic feud started first thing and without warning.

"You dandelion freak!"

"Demon midget!"

"Oversized blockhead!"

"Tiny bitch!"

"You are such a jerk!" Rukia cried, crossing her arms.

"You're not exactly an angel yourself, darling." Ichigo spat as he attempted to remove the pancake batter from his face, a futile effort that.

"Shut up!" Rukia hissed, furiously scrubbing at raw egg clinging to her shirt. "You started this!"

"Oh no! Don't blame this on me! I'm not at fault!"

Rukia felt like screaming! If she clutched her hair much more she'd be bald. The kitchen was a literal war zone. Raw eggs and pancake batter covered every surface, not to mention the two warmongers at fault.

"I can't believe I have to spend the next few months in the same house as you!" Rukia screeched.

"I'm not thrilled either! I didn't think I'd meet such a bitch when I signed up for the program!"

"How's this for bitchy!" Rukia demanded, stretching to ram what was left in the bowl of pancake batter on his obnoxiously orange head.

"Die, Ichigo!" Rukia cried, marching out the kitchen, not paying attention to where she was going. As a result, she didn't notice Ulquiorra until she'd slammed into him, her bouncing back from the momentum, Ulquiorra apparently unaffected.

"I…I'm sorry!" She stuttered. She'd never even noticed him, and from the slight dissaproval on his face, he had to have been observing long enough to witness her childish display. Heat spread across her cheeks at the thought of shaming herself so recklessly. She couldn't spend a moment more in that room. Rushing out, Rukia practically ran, not stopping until she stood at the front door. It took a moment for her to regain herself, a hand held over her heart until it steadied.

This was far crazier than she'd ever imagined possible. In only a day she'd already lost her cool. It wasn't as though she hadn't been prepared to butt heads, it was something that happened frequently in reality. Yet, Ichigo Kurosaki threatened her control. Never before had she felt so strongly about someone, neither in love or hate. She wanted to strangle and admire him all at once. He infuriated her. That was the only explanation for it. At least she could find some satisfaction in the fact that she'd dumped batter all over his alien hair. That would be something she could look back on with a smile.

"You have absolutely no tact."

"I'm sorry, what?" Ichigo asked, looking up from his busy task of wiping pancake batter out of his hair.

"You have no social skills. You do not understand the proper way to speak to a woman," Ulquiorra persisted.

"What the hell are you talking about. I wasn't the only one fighting. Besides, that demon midget did a hell of a lot more damage than I did." Ichigo pointed out, not understanding what exactly Ulquiorra was trying to say.

"There would have been no fight if you had any tact or charm."

"Oh, like you're one to talk! You don't exert much charm either. I haven't even seen you change your expression, let alone charm a woman." Ichigo retorted.

"I have the proper skills, I simply choose not to apply them in everyday life. Should the day arrive in which my skills are needed, I shall utilize them. Until that time, however, I will behave as I choose."

Ichigo grunted, not impressed with the emo whathisname's, speech. "Well, I'm not backing down to that demon midget. If she wants a fight I'll give it to her.

Ulquiorra gave an inward sigh. This idiot was going nowhere with Rukia. If they had their way, the entire house would be totaled within a week. Of course, Ulquiorra could try to reason with Rukia, but he had no doubt that she was just as stubborn, if not more, than Ichigo.

"Children are such a bother," Ulquiorra almost grumbled to himself, watching as Ichigo resumed his vicious attack against the food resting upon his head.

Rukia would have like to head straight to the bathroom for a long, uninterrupted shower. She was just on her way in fact, when short, quick raps sounded on the thick wood of the door. Startled, she paused on the first step, debating her options. Only three people in the house were available to answer the door, that dumb ass Ichigo, Ulquiorra, and herself. Seeing as she wasn't about to fetch either of the other two due to shame and anger, and as they couldn't hear the door from the kitchen, Rukia was left with no choice.

Slowly, with dread and humiliation, Rukia cracked the door open, holding her head high despite the pink tinting her cheeks. Yet what she saw sent every thought soaring to the curb.

"Hello, I'm-" The redheaded idiot, began blurting his introduction the moment the door opened. His eyes looked up, poised above Rukia, and any human's head.

"Ren…Renji?" Rukia could only stutter. Staring at the familiar face with horror.

He almost jumped at the sound of her soft voice, a voice her definetly couldn't forget.

"Rukia?"

Cliffhanger! Take that my dear readers! I'm sure you're all dying from the agony this very minute! Or, well, not. Either way, chapters finished and out of my conscience. I couldn't leave it alone! Anyhow, here are the replies in order by date.

caps lock-nanao- Yes, Ichiruki! I wouldn't have it any other way and I'm happy here that a slower pace is not met with resistance, yet anyhow.

XXBleachluverXx- I promise, it will not be unreasonably slow. Expect the beginning signs of affection sometime after chapter fifteen, but before twenty.

Icyangel27- Keeping somewhat within the bounds of reality is my goal. Also, I'm not trying to give anything away, but, expect hitsuhina.

BLEACHISAWESOMEANDIMAWESOME XP-Wow, your username took a bit of effort. J Anyhow, drunk people. I think leaving them in a room alone is a really, really bad idea, which is exactly why I did it! The scary things that they do give me entertaining thoughts and you, my readers, something to ponder, no? Perhaps someday I'll do a short all about exactly what happened after Rukia left!

Sharebearthedeathbear- So you realized that it was all part of their evil scheme did you? Well, next time you shan't see through them so easily! Or maybe you will, I don't know.

Benihana- Am I stubborn? I don't think so, at least, not if I don't want to be! As for your guesses, not quite, or well, at all, but keep trying. You aren't limited to one guess!

LacksCommonSense-Thank you, and not just to you, to everyone who's complimented my story. I truly didn't believe anyone would give a hoot about this story, let alone compliment it. So thank you, really, I appreciate it.