Harry Potter and the D12 of Power

This is an early version of a story I'm actually working on right now, but my new version ended up quite differently. In the new version: Andrew Wells and D12 of Power, Andrew and Hanna are Watcher and Slayer and the main characters. It's also a crossover with NCIS: LA.

This, however, is a primitive version that I still thought was good enough to share as is, even if it has been very edited since.

Harry Potter was not what the Wizarding World expected. After all the hype, the rumors and inflated references, he was made out to be some kind of avenging angel who would right the wrongs and sort good from evil once and for all. They saw him as something of a religious icon, a messiah come to rescue them and herald a golden age to come.

What they got was an eleven year old kid with John Lennon glasses, messy hair, clothes that didn't fit, a back pack full of "spell" books that had nothing to do with the Wizarding World, a belt pouch full of strangely shaped dice of colors not found in nature, and a shirt that said: "I'm not a loser, I'm a 14th level Paladin."

In a word, Harry Potter was a geek.

And not just any kind of geek: Harry Potter was a card carrying member of the RPGA.

To most of the sycophantic wizards and witches, a kid who could perfectly recite the Thac0 progression for all the base classes in the three versions of Dungeons and Dragons (Classic, First Edition AD&D and Second Edition AD it was actually quite impressive since Thac0 wasn't ever published in Classic, and was rather a to-hit chart and the Thac0 had to be mathematically calculated instead) was something of a disappointment.

Harry Potter was also disappointed in the Wizarding World. He was hoping for a wondrous place like Waterdeep with magical towers and races, or Solace with its behemoth trees and aerial habitations (And hot barmaids with Frying Pan weapon proficiencies).

What he got was like a drunken ally like one could find in just about any urban area, full of passive racism and crazy people who insisted on shaking his hand. These people didn't even know what a Holy Avenger was, or what a Paladin did. You couldn't even buy a Cloak of Protection +1. However, it was cool riding on a flying motorcycle. He happened to be a little upset that people were scandalized by the idea that he wanted boots of flying. Was that really too much to ask?

"Hagrid, have you ever wanted to be someone else?" Harry asked the hulking man at his side.

"I don' know Harry," he said uncomfortably. Even at the tender age of eleven, Harry could tell that the question was troubling the older man.

"I mean, not always, but just for a little while?"

"I'm not sure what you mean? Polyjuice is a mighty hard potion to brew," Hagrid replied.

"I don't mean really becoming someone else physically, although a polymorph potion is pretty awesome, (probably have to be at least a 12th level magic user to brew something like that)" Harry said. "But pretending to be someone else, just for a little while. I like it. It helps me feel like I'm not, well, you know, with my relatives."

"I ken see what yeh mean, Harry," the man said. "Yeh just play pretend?"

"Oh, no," Harry said. "It's much more than that." He held up a book with a brightly colored cover of some people stealing gems from a statue's eyes. "It's all in here. I really love it. We can play some time if you like?"

"Sure Harry," Hagrid said, not knowing that this would start a new addiction that would last for the rest of his life. Harry, for his part, just merrily skipped along as they gathered the rest of his things. Harry got a good bit of gold and spent it on things that matched certain items in a certain roleplaying core book. Soon, Harry had a wide selection of things that most people wouldn't be allowed to have, but money talks. Soon enough, he noticed a book store.

"Hello," he said to the nice man behind the counter. "Do you have the TSR 1143 Odyssey Adventure? I've been eying it for a while, but my uncle wouldn't let me have any money. But now I've got my own."

"Er, no, unfortunately," the owner said. "I'm not familiar with that."

"Oh," said the suddenly depressed Harry. "Could you order it?"

"I suppose…" the man said trailing off.

"It was supposed to be an homage to the Expedition to the Barrier Peaks," Harry said sadly. "Do you have dice?"

"Uh, no, we're a book shop," the man said.

"Oh, because most bookshops that I know carry them now," Harry commented, his tone implying that this was a substandard shop. "Do you know where I could get some? I wanted to get a set for my friend as a present. Everyone should have their own dice."

"Right, of course," the man said uncomfortably. "You might try the toy store."

Harry nodded and immediately trudged right over to the toy shop. Harry was not impressed by their selection. "Do you have anything other than D6s?"

"What?" asked the utterly confused shop owner.

"Dice, do you have anything besides D6?" Harry asked as if he was speaking to a very stupid person or a child with a full frontal lobotomy, or, as he would later learn, an inbred, pureblood Slytherin. At the continued look of confusion, Harry sighed and explained. "You say 'd' and the number of the sides. You've got six-sided dice, so they're d6s."

"No! Why would you want those?"

Harry rolled his eyes and sighed. "Maybe to play a game?"

"I could have some made," the man said reluctantly, "but I don't know what kind of game you'd play with those."

"Great! I need 50d4, 50d6, 50d8, 50d10, 50d12, and 100d20. I'd also like 25d100," Harry said. "Since it's a present, could you make them out of something nice? He shouldn't have ugly dice."

"Uh, sure, pay for them now and I'll have them owled to Hogwarts," the man said. Harry suppressed a wince at the conjugation of "owl" as a verb. Harry slipped him three gp.

"Actually, if you could send me some addition with the rest of that, it would be great," Harry said. "I know dice aren't that much gp. They're probably just a few cp each."

The shopkeeper nodded as if he knew what the boy was talking about. "Right, would you be willing to let me see an example of what you're looking for?"

Harry pulled out some dice, but snatched them back angrily when the man tried to touch them. "Honestly! Touching another man's dice! What kind of horrible person are you?"

The poor shopkeeper suddenly felt he had almost committed a terrible faux pas.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again," he apologized.

"I should think not!" demanded the bespectacled boy.

"Right then, let me just get a good look then," the shopkeeper said. Harry held up his set of dice well out of reach. "Yes, thank you. I can assure you a pleasant product."

"Thank you," Harry said before walking out of the store.

Later, Harry bought a wand, was given an owl familiar (which he clearly didn't need, he was planning on being a divine caster, after all) and instructed to take the train to the school. He, being something of private sort, found an empty cabin and settled into reading the DMG for the bazillionth time.

His temporary fortress of solitude was interrupted by a redheaded boy who barged right in and showed off his rat.

"Why do you have a rat familiar?" Harry asked. "They can't talk, they can't pass messages and don't even give you any stat bonuses like a toad. A bonus against disease isn't really worth it."

"What's a stat bonus?" the boy asked. "And a toad better than a rat? I don't think so."

"I'd much rather have the HP from the +2 CON than a minor saving throw bonus against disease; most DMs don't even bother with them," Harry commented.

"Blimey, what's that mean?"

Harry just sighed the sigh of the long suffering. He was interrupted by a frizzy haired girl. "Has anyone seen a toad? Neville lost his."

Harry looked almost horrified. "He lost his familiar? I'll help you look. Gawd, it'd be horrid to lose such a great familiar."

Together they left the rat owner behind. Trevor, as the toad was known, was found on the furthest back. They caught the escapee and delivered him back to his owner.

"Whew, I'm glad we found him when we did," Harry said. He grinned at Neville. "Wouldn't do for you to lose 2 CON right off the bat."

"I'll hold on to him better this time," Neville said. "Trevor, you can't run off like that!"

Harry clapped him on the shoulder. "Have you done the familiar spell yet?"

Neville silently shook his head.

"We'll do it when we get to school," Harry assured him, blissfully unaware that such a thing did not exist in Hogwarts.

"I've never heard that spell before," the girl said. "What book did you read it in?"

"PHB," Harry said with a shrug. "Let's go back and talk."

Not long after they made it back to the cabin (where the rat boy was still sulking), a blond boy entered with his book ends.

"Where is Harry Potter?" the boy demanded with his hands on his hips and a sneer on his face. Harry raised an eyebrow and looked the boy over. Greased back Blonde hair, and two minions spaced behind him for decent aim past him.

"Hmmm…" Harry pondered. "Definitely Neutral Evil."

And with that, Harry dismissed him in his mind as unimportant. Blondie was not done with Harry though. He stomped in and tried to make trouble, having one of his minions grab Harry's shirt.

"I was not done talking to you," the boy commanded.

"Ah, you're basic gp or your HP kind of person. A common thug not even worthy to being a reoccurring villain, a minion of other minions, although you do seem to have hired a couple of level zero henchmen, so you've got a few gp to spend," Harry surmised. He then kicked the boy in the balls. "Stupid enough not to wear armor, though."

Blondie let out a sound of pain and suffering and after a moment it was interpreted as a command to attack by his henchmen. Harry, always practical, pulled out a wooden sword from his bag (conveniently expanded on the inside like a good bag of holding) and hit them both over the head in quick succession. It was enough to take care of any problems.

"Holy Smite, bitch," Harry said as he glared down the last of the trio. Harry gave henchmen one a kick for good measure and henchmen two blanched. "I think it's time for you to leave."

Harry was sorted into Gryffindor along with his friends Neville and Hermione. As luck would have it, Neville's birthday was only a day before his and Harry discovered he had much in common with the wise toad mage (for anyone who chose a toad for a familiar clearly had at leasta 14 Wisdom). He was about to suggest a meeting with Hagrid for some good ole GNC (generation of new characters), but was interrupted by a guy who had an uncanny resemblance to Gary Gygax with a huge friggen beard. He soon learned the man was named Dumbledore, however.

"Welcome to Hogwarts, before we begin I would like to say a few words," the man announced. "Fitz radsoudly and wallop-canoe. Now with that out of the way, I would like to introduce our new Professor of History of Magic, Mr. Andrew Wells. Who came highly recommended by the Watcher's Council." The youngish blond man waved and Harry could instantly sense a kindred spirit. The Gygax clone gestured to his other side where an odd looking man dressed in purple sat. It took ten minutes for the applause to die down. "And due to some unforeseen events, our previous DADA professor will be on, er, well let's call it sabbatical this year."

Knowing looks and mentions of a curse were bandied about. "Instead, with us this year is Professor Quirrill who will fill in for the good professor during this time. And now, tuck in."

Food filled the tables and the hungry students devoured the vittles like packs of ravenous carrion feeders.

Not much happened for a few weeks. Harry, Hermione and Neville were all still getting settled into the routine. Then one day, right before Halloween, their defense professor noticed Harry reading a certain book.

"OH MY GAWD! That's the first edition DMG!" Andrew Wells exclaimed as if he had just witnessed Harry drawing the Sword from the Stone or drinking from the Holy Grail and choosing well.

"You know what this is?" Harry asked, as this was the first person to actually know what he had been talking about.

"I rarely get to play that edition," Andrew admitted. "I always want to, but other things keep getting in the way."

Harry looked up at his professor with surprise. "Really? Because Hermione, Neville, Hagrid and I were going to get together sometime soon."

"Do you need a DM?" Professor Wells asked. "I'm not quite Yoda, but I can pull a good campaign together."

"You are my favorite professor ever," Harry said, and he meant it too. "Now all I need is a place to play."

"Why not ask the house elves? They know every unused room in the castle," Professor Wells suggested. "AND they'll find you a private one that isn't in the Forbidden Corridor."

The house elves, (not real elves at all, but short gnome/goblin hybrids on psychotropic drugs), supplied a place that they thought was perfect. It was a room that could be whatever you needed. Harry needed a place to play D&D, and this was perfect. The room had a table, one specifically for the DM, complete with the screen, a full set of books, with all modules and expansions (including Council of Wyrms, because really, who wouldn't want to play a dragon?), a kitchen with a fridge filled with Mountain Dew and Cheetos, and a complete rack of dice for all games. It was pretty much right next door to heaven for the young geek.

Everything was going perfect until Charms, when that rat-catcher from the train started making fun of his friend. Hermione Granger ran out of class crying. Harry tried to chase after her, but she went into the Girl's Bathroom and wouldn't come out. Sadly, Harry made his way back up to the Great Hall for the Halloween feast. There, the potions man stumbled into the room and announced that there was a troll in the dungeon.

Now, several things came to mind in this instance. The first was that Hermione was probably still in the girl's bathroom, and that bathroom was in the dungeons. The second was that this was obviously a side quest and therefore worth XP beyond the simple slaying of the beast. The third was that he was woefully unarmed. He still hadn't been able to get a Holy Avenger yet, but he knew that it was only a matter of time.

Harry shared a look with Neville as the students were being told to go back to their rooms for the duration of the crisis. Neville knew as well as Harry that Hermione was in danger. Clutching their wands in hand, they barreled head first into the side quest, fully intent on rescuing the damsel in distress and sharing the XP bonus for doing so.

When the two burst into the bathroom, they discovered exactly what Large size meant to an eleven year old human. Trolls were BIG.

"This is gonna be a lotof XP," Harry muttered to himself. Not quite understanding the statement, but impressed none the less, Neville nodded in agreement. Their stunned moment was interrupted as the troll started swinging its club towards the girls' stalls, smashing them in one brutal swath. Had Hermione been any taller, it would have been all over. Neville started throwing shards at it, but Harry chose instead to pull out his rattan longsword and charge. It didn't do much damage (Harry knew only fire and acid would really hurt them), but he did manage to get a tender spot right in the back of the knee, sending the troll bending backwards. Neville, not quite sure what to do, kept throwing things at it.

"Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes!" commanded a familiar voice. Neville turned to see Professor Wells and an unfamiliar blonde girl run into the bathroom. The girl jumped up a seemingly impossible height and stabbed two wooden sticks into the Troll's eyes, blinding it and causing it to flail around. She pulled them out and stabbed in the ears. The resulting crunch was something the PBH and the DMG never really talked about. It was rather disgusting to listen to, but it did the job and soon the troll fell to the ground dead.

"It shouldn't work that way," Harry protested. "It's clearly stated that trolls can only be permanently harmed by fire and acid."

"Ah, but that's for swamp trolls," Professor Wells pointed out. "This is clearly a bridge troll."

"Oh, well that explains it," Harry pondered. He reached down to help his friend up. "Hermione, are you okay?"

"I, I think so," she said, looking at the girl who saved them all. "What are you?"

"Hi, I'm Hannah, the Vampire Slayer," she said with a cheeky grin. Professor Wells was not as impressed.

"Wonderful," he said not meaning it, "another Slayer who can't keep a secret identity."

"I'm totally secret identity-girl, but they already saw," Hannah protested. Professor Wells looked down on her with a certain look. "Okay, fine, maybe I have been like spending too much time with Commander Buffy."

"A superhero needs their secret identity. What would Superman be without Clark Kent? What would Spider-man be without Peter Parker? What would Ms. Marvel be without Carol Danvers? It's important young lady! Okay, I know your punishment," he said. "You'll be attending us for every session and you'll be playing a monk."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said, clearly blissfully ignorant.

The professor turned to Harry and Hermione and sighed. "See what I have to work with here? I made a whole parable about Voldemort as opposed to Sauron and then discovered she didn't know what I meant. It's so depressing."

"You have got to be the stupidest Watcher ever," Hanna said with a roll of her eyes.

"You've obviously never met Wesley. And I'm not stupid, I just have a diverse array of interests," Andrew muttered. It was about then that the other professors arrived. Wells nodded to the Headmaster. "All taken care of sir."

"No problems then?"

"Only for awards for bravery," Wells said. "Harry and Neville here helped a lot before I got here. They were worried about their friend."

"Would anyone else care to explain why you were down here? You should have alerted a professor," McGonagall said, slightly criticizing her students, but secretly proud of them.

"I didn't only do it for the XP," Harry said with a shrug.

"Oh, yes," Dumbledore said. "Fifty points for each to Gryffindor. I'll thank you to head to bed. It is getting late."

"I'll escort them," Wells said.

"Fifty points for a bridge troll?" Harry asked as they meandered vaguely back to Gryffindor Tower. "We're never going to level up at this rate."

And that was how Hannah the Vampire Slayer got involved.

Two days later, they were building characters. Hagrid was there, as was Hannah. She did not look pleased, and he just looked confused.

"So, no costumes?" Hagrid asked.

"No, just imagination," Harry explained. "And dice."

"If we wore costumes, we'd be LARPers," Professor Wells clarified. Both he and Harry shivered at the thought. "Bunch of vampire worshiping 'I'm-not-a-monster-just-a-sexy-human-who-hangs-out-at-night'morons. Just a bunch of silly people who'd never survive a real vampire attack."

"Right, so LARP bad," Hannah Abbot said irreverently. "Why do I have to play a monk? Can't I be a Slayer?"

Andrew and Harry shared a look of surprise. "Slayer/Monk?" asked Wells.

"But would Slayer be considered a class or a race? It is a Chosen, so maybe a little of a template?" Harry pondered.

Andrew shrugged. "Just write down Slayer for Race and Monk for class."

"Which class? Potions? DADA?" Neville asked, not understanding.

"No, which character class you are," Harry explained.

"I'm a Gryffindor wizard," Neville said.

"That's what you want to play?"

"Uh, sure," Neville said. He was instructed to write down Wizard for class and elf (for the nobility of Gryffindor) on his character sheet.

"Hagrid, what would you like to do?" Professor Wells asked the Groundskeeper.

"I really like what I already do," Hagrid said. "Care for the beasts and grounds of Hogwarts and the Forbidden Forest."

Harry and Andrew shared a look of pure glee and understanding. "Druid."

And so, Hagrid wrote down Half-Giant Druid on his sheet.

"What about you Harry?"

"I want to be a Paladin," he said. "I've got my old character sheet, it's RPGA legal."

Andrew Wells looked it over and agreed, it was a good 3rd level Paladin and didn't have anything overpowering. He also decided to start everyone at 3rd level to balance things out.

Hermione, during all of this, was reading all the books. She was about half way through them when she started having an idea. The scary thing was, she had only just cracked them and had instantly become the most dreaded player type in existence: the rules lawyer/munchkin multi-class.

She began muttering to herself, mention AC bonuses and words about Thac0. She pondered special rules for hand to hand combat with weapons and without. She muttered about GP allotments based on level and starting costs. Familiar benefits as opposed to companions.

"I'll be a Half Elf Cleric/Mage/Thief from Lantan who follows Gond, and I'll spend 1000gp to be a master at unarmed combat with three fighting style masteries," she said, handing over her completed sheet. "I also spent my weapon proficiencies on gunpowder weapons and my non-weapon proficiencies on chemistry, potion making and alchemy as well as various other related skills for my high intelligence. That should ensure that I have plenty of supplies and the capability of creating my own."

Andrew looked over the offered sheet and went pale. She had managed to make an almost invincible character if things went right, but her diversification could be a drawback depending on her rolls.

Hannah was assigned physical attributes and rolled above average, but not extreme mental stats. Her lowest was a 10, so that wasn't bad. She didn't really need the Charisma. Hagrid rolled well, with an assigned STR and CON, and ended up with a dryad as a companion. When questioned about how she would travel with them, Neville pointed out the Asian tradition of Bonsai, and Andrew Wells knew he was defeated. Then it was Neville's turn. Neville rolled, under supervision, mind you, 18, 18, 16, 17, 18, and 14. His toad familiar bumped his CON from an 17 to a 19 and being an elf, he had a bonus to INT and DEX. He was basically the Unkillable Wizard. He still kept CHA as his dump stat, however, at a lowly 14.

Hermione didn't roll quite as well, but high enough to have no problems with her spread.

The Weasley Twins, to the surprise of everyone, especially considering they weren't invited, rolled up identical Elven Thief/Mages. When pressed, they said they were just interested that there were so many people in a room that they didn't know existed.

"How did you do that?" Harry asked.

"I know," Andrew said. "I watched you roll. You used my dice. How in Buffy's name did you both roll the exact same stats?"

"I dunno," said Fred.

"All in the wrist," said George.

"It-it just shouldn't be possible," Harry said with a blank look. "Even your HP is the same."

"Okay, so you are all in the town of Shadowdale, the home of the wonderful wizard Elminster," Professor Wells said from behind his DM's screen. "Now, why don't you all say why you're there? Neville, why don't you go first?"

"Oh, uh, okay," the boy said hesitantly, unsure of being put on the spot. "How, how do I do that?"

"Just use your imagination," Harry told him. "Just picture it in your mind. It's a small city-state with a nominated lord. There's a mix of magical and non-magical people with different races of humans, elves, Halflings, Dwarves and Gnomes. There's a small cabin where Elminster lives with Storm Silverhand, one of the Seven Sisters. Now, you're a young wizard. Why are you there?"

"Two points to Gryffindor for the help, Harry," Andrew said with a grin before turning back to Neville. "So?"

"I-I guess I'm there to learn," Neville said. He glanced down at his character sheet. "I guess I'll go see if I can learn some new spells."

"Great, we'll get to that in just a bit," Andrew said. "Hannah?"

"I'm an errant monk from the East, trained in the physical, mystical and sorcerous arts," Hannah replied, hinting that she might have had some experience at this kind of thing in real life as well. "I'm looking for friends and companions to help in a quest to improve the lives of others. I don't have much for possessions, since I took a vow of poverty, but I'm fed well and not thirsty. All I need is loyal companions to be complete."

"Excellent description," Andrew said, beaming at his young Slayer. "Two points to Hufflepuff for your expression of House traits. Hermione?"

"I'm the best at what I do and I always want to be better," Hermione said. "I'm trying to find a way to channel magic while wearing armor and wielding weapons. The Unearthed Arcana says it is possible on page 32 paragraph 3, but it doesn't have any specific rules and says that it is a difficult ability to master. I'm here to learn how, seeing as there are others who have done so in Shadowdale."

"Really, Miss Granger? Where did you read that?" Professor Wells asked.

"In the Forgotten Realms supplement and addendum," she replied. "Page-"

"You don't have to quote the pages every time," Andrew cut her off with a smile. "Just be aware that others might not be as willing to give up their secrets as you are to seek them out. Hagrid?"

"Oh, well, I be lookin' fer a few new animals an' checkin' the place for nasty critters that be wrecking things," Hagrid said. "An' I'll be looking up fer some new interestin' critters like Fluffy."

Professor Wells gave the Groundskeeper a look of disapproval.

"Oh," Hadgrid said. "I wasn't supposed to say that."

The younger players perked up and filed that information away. Andrew decided to quickly change the subject.

"Fred? George?" he asked. "Why are you in Shadowdale?"

"I don't think-"

"That there is any specific reason-"

"So we're going to go to the bar-"

"And get drunk."

"And if there are any girls there-"

"We wanna dothem."

Andrew gawked for a moment before rolling his dice to determine that, yes, the twins had gotten both drunk and lucky. And with that, it was time to continue on.

"And Hermione, as you walk into the bar, you are accosted by two drunken elves," Andrew said, nodding to the twins.

"Hello," said Hermione with a little hesitation.

"heyh, yher a haff-alph. Aye lhike *hic* you," Fred slurred.

"Aye lhike yhou too! Hic!" George said. He glanced at Hermione's sheet: "What's you're Charisma?"

Hermione felt strangely like she was being oggled and pulled the sheet closer to her chest. "I'm going to keep an eye on them, but order some food. If they try anything I'll try to catch one in a sleeper hold."

"I put my arm over her shoulder," said the twins in unison.

"I attack," Hermione said flatly. Professor Wells did the rolls and soon both elves were in sleeper holds.

"Great, perfect success, but it's going to take a couple of rounds for them to fully pass out," Andrew reported. He turned to his young charge and nodded. "Hannah, you just saw a half-elf using unarmed martial arts. What do you do?"

"Uh-what? Oh, I guess I'll walk over and sit down at her table," Hannah said with some unsurity.

"Hello," said Hermione.

"Hello," said Hannah.

Then they both paused for a moment before turning to Professor Wells for more advice.

"Don't look at me! Interact!" he commanded.

"How?" Hannah asked.

"Talk to each other! I'm not going to put words in your mouths!"

Yeah, the first session went kinda like that.

It became a twice weekly event, and everyone attended except for a couple of times that Harry and Neville had detention with Professor Quirrel. There were some problems with other students, but the only big one was when a certain young mister Malfoy decided he deserved to be there. The others tried to protest, but Professor Wells' hands were tied.

"This is a school sponsored event," Prof. Wells said. "I can't stop any student from participating. Mr. Malfoy, what would you like to play?"

"What? I'm a wizard, of course," he stated with arrogance. He rolled up a character with stats barely able to cast spells, unable to fight and without any other special abilities. He was a wizard with delusions of adequacy, so basically he was playing himself.

"Well, Elminster walks in and says: 'Ho! Young lad! Yee canna be accosting yon banker with such an intent in this village,' and steps between you and the banker," Professor Wells told the blond wizard.

"What? This red robed guy intends to stop me? Well, then I cast the killing curse at him!" Malfoy said. He sneered at the others' gasps. Harry's eyes widened at the audacity. "Please, It's only a game!"

"Unfortunately, your character doesn't know the killing curse," Andrew replied.

"What curses do I know?"

"The first level ones," Prof. Wells replied, pointing to the boy's character sheet.

"Then I cast Magic Missile, that sounds like a good one," Malfoy said.

"Roll your damage, okay, you do two damage," Andrew said.

"Is he dead?"

"No, not even remotely," Andrew replied.

"Well, then I cast it again," Malfoy said.

"He counters your spell with a Shield spell," Andrew replied.

"Oh? Then I stab him with my dagger," Malfoy said. "It's a magical dagger, so it's okay."

"You go to stab Elminster and the guards kill you," Andrew said. "Wait, how did you get a magic dagger?"

"How? They're just stupid muggles!"

"You had a first level wizard with one hit point because you rolled poorly," Professor Wells pointed out. "Fifth level fighters with their strength do a minimum of three points of damage. You died."

"Well, then I make a new wizard," Malfoy said. And he did, and his second was remarkably similar to his first except that his intelligence was actually lower. This one tried to take revenge for the first one to die and predictably died. So did the third and the fourth and the fifth and the forty-ninth.

"Look, Malfoy, you're doing it wrong," Harry said, taking pity on the boy. Malfoy looked like he was going to hex him, but Harry put up his hands to forestall violence. "Malfoy, would you win against Dumbledore in a duel? Not eventually, right now, at eleven years old."

"What? Of course, er-" Draco had to admit that, no, he would not win against Dumbledore in a duel.

"That's what you're doing," Harry explained. "You're attacking the most powerful wizard in the world with a first year student."

"... … … oh."

He sneered. "So I don't want to play a first year."

"You have to play to get more powerful, it's how it works," Andrew said. "You can't just start off massively powerful."

Malfoy decided it wasn't that much fun anymore and left.

"Okay, as you travel through the pass, you notice a number of earthen pillars," Andrew said.

"I, er, I use my Druid talents to tell what they are," Hagrid said.

"Termite hills," Andrew replied. Hermione's face lit up like it was Christmas, her birthday and her wedding day all at once.

"Neville!" she said with a grin. "Cast Burning Hands at the termite colonies!"

"What?" asked Neville and Andrew in unison. Hermione just nodded and coaxed him along.

"Uh, okay," the young wizard said and dutifully cast a fire spell on the termites.

"Why did you have him do that?" Andrew asked. "You're just killing non-hostile creatures! You're supposed to be Good!"

"Chaotic Good, thank you very much," Hermione said. "And according to the DMG, page 243, every creature you kill has to grant at least one XP. There are thousands to millions of termites in a colony."

"Uh, let me see that," Andrew said, flipping to the page. And yes, he was required to give at least one XP for every creature killed. And that was how Neville got to level 9 in one session.

Life was good for Harry the Paladin. He thought magic school would be a little difficult at first, but he found himself to be rather talented in a number of ways. He excelled at Potions and Transfiguration (or Alteration/Transmutation and Conjuration as he was wont to call it) like his parents and did fairly well in Charms (or Abjurations and Enchantments), but wasn't doing so well in History or Astronomy.

Eventually, though, his friends went home for the holidays and Harry ended up in the castle mostly alone. He had been given a Cloak of Invisibility as a gift, something that had apparently belonged to his father and had taken to exploring the castle. Eventually he came across a strange enchanted mirror.

"What do you see?" asked a voice from behind him. Harry jumped and looked behind him. The Headmaster twinkled down at him for a moment before glancing at the mirror.

"Me and my friends, in a few years," Harry said. And there he was in gleaming armor, a Holy Avenger in each hand, wading his way through an army of orcs with his companions. They were older, late teens, early twenties and seemed to be at the height of their power. A gleaming holy symbol of a redheaded woman's face shown from about his neck, warding off the evil undead the orcish clerics had called up to battle.

"Many people have gone mad looking at his mirror," Dumbledore said.

"That's okay, I think I passed my save verses spell."

Harry and the headmaster talked a while longer before the headmaster left, reminding that even if classes weren't in session, he should probably be getting back to bed. Harry nodded and gathered up his things. As he did so, he reached into his pocket and found a bright red stone with twelve perfect sides. It was about the size of his fist.

"Wow, I'll have to thank the Prof for the D12 later," Harry said to himself. With a grin of anticipation, Harry tucked the Philosopher's Stone into his dicebag and headed back to Gryffindor Tower.

Dumbledore should have known that letting a first level character get his hands on an Artifact was a bad idea.

When classes resumed, they went back to work. Harry continued to dislike DADA even as he excelled in his ability. There was just something about Professor Quirrel that was just off. Something wasn't right. Harry continued to feel pain in his scar as the class progressed. Somewhere in his mine, Harry pondered if this was his "Detect Evil" finally kicking in. Truth be told, it wasn't that far off.

"Okay, how was everyone's break?" Prof. Wells asked his players/students.

"My family went to France," Hermione said. "I got a few more gamebooks."

"Staked three vamps solo and raided three demon nests with Senior Vi," Hannah supplied. "Got to keep the axe I found too. Mom's so proud."

"Gran and Uncle Al and I went to Diagon Alley," Neville said. "We didn't do much else."

"I met a nice chappie at a pub," Hagrid said. "Knew a lot 'bout Dragons, he did."

Everyone eyed him suspiciously since by his tone, there was obviously more to the story than that, but they weren't about to press him on the subject.

"We played Quidditch and made elf costumes," the twins said. "Drunken elf costumes!"

"Director Harris and I watched Babylon 5 again," Professor Wells said. "We wanted Willow to join us, but the White Witch was a little busy. How about you Harry?"

"I got a Cloak of Invisibility and a giant red d12," Harry said with a grin that looked like the cat that caught the canary. "I'll show you when we get into the Room."

Soon enough, they were getting set up. As always, the Room of Requirement filled itself to be perfectly set for the specific needs of the opener. Usually, this meant that it was filled with every D&D supplement, core book and errata ever written. This time, however, as Harry opened it, was different.

The Players walked in, Hannah, Harry, Hermione, Hagrid, Fred, George and Neville found themselves alone in a room.

"Professor Wells?" Harry asked.

"Yes, Harry?" replied the professor. It seemed to come from the Room itself, but have no specific spot of origin.

"Where are you?" Harry asked.

"I'm right here," Wells replied.

"No," Hermione said. "No, Professor, you're not."

The students and caretaker looked around at the room. There wasn't anything resembling the usual supply or architecture of the Room, but it seemed to be made of wood with an earthen floor. It also stank to high heaven. The only thing Harry could compare it to was the one time his aunt had ordered natural fertilizer that had arrived a little too fresh.

"I seem to be aware of everything you're doing," Andrew said. "Oh my gawd! This must be what the Enterprise felt when she was going sentient!"

"This is hardly the time to be talking about Star Trek!" Hermione chided. "Room, open the door!"

The Room didn't.

"Uh, hey, we've got stuff with our names on them," Neville said, pointing to a gathering of supplies in one corner. Harry and Hermione recognized the gear instantly.

"These are the things for our characters," Hermione said, holding up a pair of black powder pistols and a rifle that looked like it would fit right in with the American War of Independence.

Harry pulled up a Holy Symbol of Sune. "Uh, can anybody else feel the power coming off this thing?"

"Yes," Hermione said, pulling up her own Gondite holy symbol.

"Oi! We're our costumes!" Fred, or George said as they looked themselves over. They still kept their red hair and freckles, but their ears were sharply pointed and their eyes turned a distinct almond shape. They had lost a few inches of height, but both could feel an extra spring in their step. They glanced over to where Neville was staring off into space. "Longbottom? You alright?"

Their words seemed to shake the Gryffindor boy out of his daze and he chuckled. "You can feel it too, can't you?"

Hermione and the Twins nodded.

"Feel what?" Hannah asked. Seemingly without being noticed, she had stripped down and slid into her monk's outfit which seemed like a second skin. It felt...right.

"Magic," Neville said with a strange reverence. "It's...it's everywhere."

"But it's always everywhere," Hannah said.

"No," George said. "It's never been like this. We always used it...but this? We're a part of magic and it's a part of us."

The other three magic users nodded in agreement.

"That's like how I feel," Harry said as he pulled on his chain greaves. "It's like I'm finally complete."

"I feel that too," Hermione said. "I feel both of them. Gond and...Mystra? Professor Wells! What's happening?"

He didn't answer.

"Professor!"

Nothing.

And that was when some of them started to panic. Specifically, Hagrid and Neville.

"Gran's gonna kill me," Neville said. "I've got Trevor and my wand, but what if they can't find us? She's not gonna like it that I got stuck in some room."

"Dumbledore'll find us," Hagrid said. "Good man, Dumbledore. Best wizard ever. He'll know what to do."

"But what if he can't?" Neville asked. He turned on Harry. "You said it was just for pretend. You never said these things really happened!"

"Well, normally they don't," Harry said as he donned his armor.

"Right now, we're stuck," Hannah said. "And where ever we are, the first rule of being stuck in another dimension is to find out where you are in relation to Earth, if possible."

"There are rules about this kind of thing?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah, in Slayer School," Hannah said. "It's a rule put in after putting together the sheer number of times the Scoobies and the Fang Gang have been captured or trapped in other dimensions. Also, since the portal closed behind us, you can be sure the Key wasn't used."

"What's the Key?"

"Dimensional Anthropomorphic Ward of iNfinit," Hannah explained. "The Acronym is a little shaky, but what can you expect when Director Harris decided on it?"

"So the Key's a person?" Harry asked.

"Oh, yeah, Dawn's really nice," Hannah said.

"So, getting back to us being stuck in a room somewhere other than Hogwarts..." Hermione prompted.

"Yes, I was wondering that myself," said an older, unfamiliar voice. The Hogwarts Crew spun around to see a man with a long white beard wearing bright red robes who was decidedly NOT Dumbledore. "I have to admit, I was surprised to hear children's voices coming from my broom closet at this time of night."

"OH MY GAWD!" Harry screamed, recognizing the man. "You're ELMINSTER!"

"Oh?" the man said. "Well, I always suspected that was the case, but it's nice to have a second opinion on the matter."

Harry fainted and fell to the stone floor with a loud clang as his armor hit.

"Odd, that kind of thing usually only happens after I cast a spell," the old man said. "Now, good children and older gentleman, do bring your friend into my more hospitable quarters and explain exactly how you got here."

One explanation later:

"Oh, dear," Elminster said, pulling out an obscurely large pipe and lighting it up.

"You shouldn't smoke," Hermione chided. "It's bad for your health."

"My dear girl, when one achieves my great age, one may do with one's self what one wishes," He said in a grandfatherly tone. "And I wish for a smoke. Now then, how best to get you back to Earth?"

Where I was going with this? Well, I wrote this much and realized I wanted a much more serious Harry as opposed to uber-geek Harry. While this was fun to write, I didn't like the end result and transformed it from Harry's point of view to Hanna and Andrew's PoV. Harry won't be a geek at first, and will have a bit of a transformation, but Hermione will still be a munchkin/rules lawyer.

And yes, I know some of the rules aren't quite right, but this was a mash up of several different versions so I could make the jokes. Some will be a bit esoteric if you haven't played them. The really esoteric jokes I left out like trying to grapple in 3rdedition. That's a joke.

I don't own Harry Potter, Buffy or Dungeons and Dragons.