Don't hurt me!

It seemed like only yesterday when Lincoln was having the best time of his (school) life. Ronnie Anne was absent and he was milking the day for all its worth. Sitting with his friends, walking with Clyde, relaxing during class, it was almost as if he was a normal school kid.

Now? He'd do anything just to have her punch him through a wall, which was a very weird thought for the boy. The idea of being the reason for the Tsundere's absence was enough to sink the white haired boy's mood down the drain. He could only imagine what she was going through, being absolutely miserable with the thought of never making any real friends.

The day was a complete blur. Everybody who knew Ronnie's obsession with Lincoln thought the boy would be dancing in his underwear out of joy right now. Stella went over to ask why Lincoln wasn't sitting with them since Ronnie was absent, but Lincoln just poked at his food. Luckily Clyde answered for him, but even his best friend couldn't bring him out of his funk. Lincoln wasn't sure why but he fully expected to see Chandler at some point, but luckily he was wrong.

As soon as the school day was over and the final bell rang, Lincoln speed walked to his locker and began furiously shoving everything he would need into his backpack. Clyde quickly caught up to him. "So what's the plan Lincoln?" Clyde asked.

Lincoln zipped his backpack shut and gave his friend a stern look. "Time for operation go-to-Ronnie-Anne's-house-and-try-to-explain-everything-before-she-murders-me" Lincoln said as he began marching to the exit. Clyde looked dumbfounded as shook himself out of it and ran to catch up to his friend.

He stood in front of Lincoln. "Don't do it man! That's a suicide mission!" Clyde pleaded. Lincoln walked past him and out the double doors without glancing back. Clyde once again caught up.

"What if she doesn't believe you? There has to be a better way!" Clyde tried, hoping to talk his friend out of it. Lincoln paused for a moment before again walking past him. Clyde shuffled in his spot for a while before groaning loudly and catching up to Lincoln again.

"Alright if you're doing this, then you're gonna need backuuuuu-huuuup! Systems shutting dooooooown…" Lincoln glanced to see his friend collapsed, a bloody nose present on his face.

"Lincoln! Get in!" Lincoln heard Lori yell. Before he could even process his friend probably needing medical assistance (if not a janitor) he was picked up and thrown. He momentarily shrieked in fear before he was caught by at least 5 sets of hands.

"We got him dude! Now drive!" Luna yelled. Lincoln was still being fumbled around as Lori ran to the driver side, buckled her seatbelt, and sped away from the school. Just as they drove out of sight, a dark figure emerged. "Lincoln-Senpai~" she sang.

Back at the van, Lincoln struggled in their grip before his mouth finally got free. "What's going on!?" Lincoln yelled. All of his sisters backed away slightly, allowing Lincoln to realize he was in Vanzilla.

"You're in trouble Lincoln!" Luan said, looking very scared.

"I am?" He asked.

Lynn grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "Yeah bro! Ronnie Anne is after you!" Lynn said.

Lincoln said nothing for a moment before he let out a breath of relief. "Girls, it's ok. I wanted to talk to Ronnie Anne anyways. It's nothing new." He said. Lori shook her head, but kept her eyes on the road.

"No Lincoln, you don't get it. Ronnie just went to the dentist to get her teeth cleaned." Lori said. Lincoln scratched his head.

"So what? She's in a bad mood?" Lincoln asked.

"No! Well yes. But… Ugh! Lisa explain, I need to focus on driving." Lori said.

Lisa cleared her throat and casually pulled out a clipboard. "You see brother unit, when a person dislikes the dentist they may choose to avoid going by physical force. As you can imagine, physical disturbances from a stronger-than-average person such as Ronnie Anne can lead to multiple injuries. As Bobby explained, the dermatologist did not wish to risk his own health for the sake of her teeth. So they opted to use nitrous oxide."

Lincoln mumbled to himself a bit. "Nitrous oxid… Oh you mean Laughing Gas?" Lincoln asked.

Lisa nodded. "Exactly. Do you remember when Lynn had her wisdom teeth pulled out?" Lisa asked.

Luan let out a laugh. "Who could forget? Lynn was a bloated pillow for weeks!"

"Say that again and I'll pull out YOUR wisdom teeth!"

"Woah, I guess I should brace myself! Haha get it?"

Lisa coughed loudly. "Anyways due to Lynn's resistance to going and her adrenaline to put it lightly, it took a significant amount of nitrous oxide to subdue her. Due to that large amount, she was put in a state not unlike being under the influence. Therefore Bobby warned us that Ronnie Anne is in that state."

Lincoln paled. Flashbacks of when Lynn when she was 'under the influence' rang through his brain.

Heeeeey Lincoln. Remember a few years ago when you laughed at me for stubbing my toe? Well it's payback time!

He's never seen her so moody (and angry) before! "Wait… That means…"

"Exactly. Ronnie is basically drunk." Lynn said.

"Which means she could kill you" Lucy added.

"Bobby called Lori, saying how Ronnie got out of her bed saying she was going to go talk to you!" Lana said.

"By the tone of his voice, it didn't sound like a friendly chat either…" Lola agreed.

"Poo-poo! Poo-poo!" Lily added.

"So we need to get you far away from her" Leni said.

Lincoln sunk into his seat. If their last talk was anything to go by then he could definitely see Ronnie beating him to near death. He wanted to talk to her, but right now was definitely not the time.

"Ok, so what's the plan?" Lincoln asked, trying to calm his beating heart. Lori sent a glance to Lincoln through the rear view mirror.

"The plan is to drive to a motel far away until morning. By then the laughing gas should have-"

The van then came to a sudden halt. Fortunately for the two in the front, which were Lori and Leni, the cars airbags registered the sudden force and deployed. Unfortunately for them, the car's roof and chairs were still weak. This resulted in the airbags launching the two sisters through the roof, sending them screaming in fear down the street and out of view.

The remaining sisters fortunately only had the seat belts so they remained in the cars, a bit shaken but otherwise fine. "What the heck was that?" Lynn asked.

Lincoln, still looking at the rear view mirror, was stuttering for a response. "Ronnie Anne!" He managed. The girls gasped and turned around, seeing Ronnie had somehow gripped the back of the car making it halt instantly.

The car doors flew open and everyone piled out, forming a protective circle around Lincoln. Ronnie didn't seem to move from her spot, making them all gulp.

"Stay away from my brother hooligan!" Lisa said, stepping forward with what looked like her noodle gun.

"Yeah hands off!" Lynn said, standing beside her in a karate stance.

Ronnie didn't seem dazed as she let go of the car and slowly began walking towards them. Lisa gulped. "A-Alright you asked for this!" Lisa yelled, pulling the trigger. Her noodle gun shook for a second before exploding in her arms, sending noodles straight into both her and Lynn's mouth. They both swallowed it instinctively before Lisa muttered a 'dang it' as they both collapsed and fell asleep.

The others, minus Lincoln who couldn't see a thing, shrieked in fear as Ronnie casually stepped over the two's bodies. "Stay back, I got pie and I'm not afraid to use it!" Luan said, pulling out a banana cream pie from seemingly out of nowhere. Ronnie continued forward. Luan wipes some sweat off her nervous head as she took aim and threw.

Unknown to all of them, Lucy snuck away and was carefully walking up to Ronnie Anne. While the situation was dire, Lucy was a little happy knowing this might be the day she'd finally spook someone to death. Just as she was behind her, Lucy hissed as loudly as she could. Instead of shrieking in fear like Lucy would've wanted, Ronnie ducked and the pie struck Lucy in the face.

Luan gasped as Lucy fell back to the floor. "Oh no!" Luan yelled as she ran past Ronnie to check on her sister. Ronnie continued her advancement.

The twins gulped and jumped forward. "Ok Sis, you attack left and I'll attack right" Lola said.

Lana eyed her. "But I'm already on the right, you should attack left." Lana said.

"Just quickly switch with me." Lola said, attempting to walk beside Lana who instead blocked her path.

"No way, I was here first!" Lana said.

"No you weren't!"

"Yes I was!"

"No, I was here first!"

"No I was!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

While the two of them argued, Ronnie walked past them just as they formed a fighting dust cloud.

"Dudes seriously?" Luna muttered glancing at all of her sisters, who were asleep, arguing, or covered in pie. The girl muttered a curse under her breath and passed Lily to Lincoln. She quickly reached into the van and pulled out her guitar. "Alright then fine! Come at me mate!" She said, holding out her guitar like a weapon. Ronnie paused a few steps away from Luna, as if daring her to try something. Luna, looking very scared, held her ground.

Lincoln meanwhile stepped back, wondering what he should do now. All of his sisters were fighting for his sake (or at least trying too) and all he could do was hold Lily? Lincoln heard his little sister whimper a bit before clinging onto his shirt, trying to hide her face onto it. Lincoln held Lily closer, trying to provide comfort.

This wasn't right.

"Luna, leave her to me." Lincoln said.

Luna whipped her head around at Lincoln. Had he gone mad? "There's no way I'm leaving you here bro!" She yelled at him, almost angrily.

Lincoln stepped beside her and gently handed Lily over. "I don't want Lily to be hurt. Please get her out of here. Besides, this is my fight. I'll handle it." He said. Luna was about to retort, until the little girl in her arms whispered again and hugged her.

Luna looked at Lily, who was gripping her shirt in obvious fear. Luna then looked at Lincoln, who looked scared yet resolved. "Don't die on us little bro" Luna said, turning and running away.

Lincoln sighed as he held his head up just as Ronnie stopped in front of him. She had a light blush, probably due to the laughing gas, but she looked very mad. Then again that look was normal for her. "Found you, Lincoln-Kun." She said menacingly.

Lincoln gulped. "Yeah, I'm right here! Do your worse!" Lincoln said heavily, but his voice was higher than usual.

Ronnie quickly pinned him to Vanzilla with a evil smirk, making him squeal in fear. "Oh don't worry Lincoln-Kun, I will." She hissed. Lincoln closed his eyes and prayed for a quick end.

Lincoln would think he was ready for about anything Ronnie would throw at him. A punch? He's been punched by Lynn plenty of times. A kick? The race for the remote control to the television had prepared him for that too. A nuclear explosion? Yeah Lisa had prepared him for that, on several occasions.

He wasn't even remotely prepared for the soft pressure on his lips.

Lincoln's eyes flew open. Ronnie was kissing him! Someone was kissing him! Lincoln couldn't react at all as her hands, which was previously pinning him to Vanzilla, slowly draped themselves around his shoulders. After a few seconds of being stunned Lincoln decided that even if he could break out of it, which was unlikely, he didn't want too. He opted to close his eyes instead.

By the end of it, it was a short and uneventful kiss as both parties were new to kissing. Yet, they were both gasping for air by the end of it with a heavy blush. "Wha… What was…?" Lincoln said.

Ronnie smirked. "That was for defending me yesterday" she said simply.

"Wait, you knew I wasn't lying?" Lincoln asked. Ronnie nodded her head. "Wha…? Then why did you…?"

Ronnie dropped her smirk in favor of a smile. Lincoln got a flashback to the smile Ronnie gave him at the Sadie Hawkins dance, making his blush lightly. "I couldn't think of a good excuse" she said.

Lincoln arched an eyebrow. "A good excuse for what?" He asked.

Ronnie smirked again. "For this."

Then she kissed him again. Lincoln still wasn't prepared, but hugged her in response. As quickly as it started, it was over as Ronnie pulled away. "Lincoln-Kun, you're so amazing" she whispered as she brought him into a hug and rested her head on his shoulder. "I refuse to let anyone else have you. Please… I know I don't deserve you but… be my boyfriend."

Lincoln couldn't believe how this was turning out. This supposed fight for survival was actually a… He didn't even know what this was. Ronnie was definitely at least a little tipsy considering she has never been this direct and honest before. He wasn't sure if he even liked that side of her.

Now she was asking him to be her boyfriend? Just like that? It wasn't like she sent any signals as to liking him that way before right? Was this the gas? Was this her true feelings? What IS this?

Lincoln thought back to the time he first told his sisters about the new weird bully at school. Before he revealed who it was, all of his sisters seemed ecstatic at the news. "When a girl bullies you, that means they like you!" They chanted.

While obviously that was incredibly wrong (people shouldn't teach kids to tolerate bullying for any reason at all) they seemed dead certain on it. It was only when Lori realized it was Ronnie Anne that she ordered him to stay out of her way. It was only because it was specifically Ronnie Anne that Lori (and most of his other sisters) didn't approve all of a sudden.

Then Lincoln remembered another girl they approved of. Yet when Lincoln rejected her… He never wanted that to happen again. He wouldn't risk it. Besides, Ronnie looked pretty at least to him.

Lincoln hugged her a little tighter before he answered. "I will gladly be your boyfriend" he said simply. He didn't pull away from the hug, but he felt some moisture hit his shoulder. She was crying, probably out of joy. She'd definitely think of an excuse for that later.

Then Lincoln's eardrums nearly exploded from the collection of high pitched squeals that surrounded him. Lincoln finally noticed all of his sisters were huddled together in front of him with looks of pure happiness. "That is literally the most romantic thing I've ever seen!" Lori said.

Leni jumped in place. "Yay I'm going to be a grandpa!" Leni exclaimed.

"Aunt" Lori corrected.

Lincoln blushed. "How much of that did you see?" Lincoln asked.

"Just the hugs" Lucy said.

"And the kisses" Lynn added.

"And everything else!" Luan said.

Lincoln would pinch his nose if his hands were free. If they were fine, why didn't they help him when he was supposedly in danger? Not to mention why were they ok with him and Ronnie Anne now?

Before Lincoln could question it any further, he heard the soft snoring on his shoulder. He side glanced and saw Ronnie Anne asleep on his shoulder.

"Awww, she fell asleep!" Lana said.

Lola walked over to her. "She's smiling though, she's just like a princess who found her prince" Lola said putting her hands to her own cheeks. Lincoln sighed in relief. He'd die if embarrassment if Ronnie had heard all of that.

"Nice work bro" Luna said with a thumbs up. Lily laughed and clapped her hands. Lincoln sighed and closed his eyes. After all of that, he was definitely tired himself.

"Let's take her home" he said.

As Lincoln and his sisters helped a sleeping Ronnie Anne into the van, all the while Lori dialed Bobby to update him, Lincoln was already thinking about his decision. Knowing his history with girls and dating, or lack thereof, he'd definitely would need to buckle down to not mess up royally this time. He owed it to Ronnie Anne.

Now comfortably in the hands of his sisters, Leni and Lola holding him in a tight embrace 'to make room for Ronnie' as Lola said, he took one more glance at the sleeping tsundere. He wondered for a second if she'd turn out the same as his last relationship. He closed his eyes tightly, focusing on the gentle caressing Leni was providing as if she sensed his distress.

"Don't worry Lincoln, we'll make sure you don't mess up." Lori said. While the others laughed, Lincoln couldn't help but smile. Not many knew of the full details, but Lori was one of the few that did. Lincoln gave her a smile and a thumbs up and despite not turning away from the road she responded with a thumbs up of her own. Lincoln sighed happily and leaned back. He could sure use the sleep himself.

"There's someone else isn't there!?"

Lincoln blocked the thoughts out of his mind. This time it would be different! Starting tomorrow at school, first thing he'd do is talk to her! Besides, he was sure she'd have a lot to say.

"What? What do you mean!?" Lincoln exclaimed.

Ronnie rolled her eyes. "Are you that stupid Lincoln-Kun? I mean that I don't remember anything about yesterday!" Ronnie said as she took her seat.

Lincoln was waving his hands around in a crazed motion. "But… but… you…!" Lincoln said. Ronnie frowned at the boy.

"I what?" She asked, sending a glare as if daring him to continue.

Lincoln sulked in his chair. "Nothing…" Lincoln said, letting his head hit the desk. In hindsight, this might've been for the best. It wouldn't be very fair if Lincoln accepted her proposal while she was drunk to say the least. Plus, he didn't wanna mess up… whatever it is they had. Friendship? Yeah that sounded right. Still, it didn't help his mood to think it was all for nothing. Plus he'll sure have a tough time explaining this to his sisters though.

Ronnie turned away from the confused and mildly depressed boy with a relieved smile. "That was close" she whispered to herself. What an embarrassing moment that was yesterday. "To think I'd ever date that baka" she whispered to herself, a blush and light smile present on her face.

Author's Note = Yeah yeah I know, totally OOC for Luan to be worried about someone being hit by pie. The alternative was her bursting into laughter while Ronnie walked away, but that would've made her seem heartless so... xD

Worry not fellow readers, that whole sequence wasn't for nothing. Let's just say Lincoln won't be able to get Ronnie Anne off his mind in the next chapter. Also I didn't wanna get into detail with the kiss considering their both under-aged and I would've been uncomfortable with writing a make-out session for 11 year-olds. They just had a small kiss.

By the way, thanks JamesSunderlandsPillow for the dialog suggestion. Took me this long to fix it up (since I completely forgot to fix it the last chapter), so hope it's more readable now. Guess I'm used to only cutting the paragraph when it hits 5 or so sentences. I'll try cutting it up when either a new person talks or a new scene/idea is introduced. If anyone else had any suggestions and I missed it my bad! Though I'd appreciate it if you sent it through PM if you feel like my mistake is super annoying and needs fixing xD

Halloween is almost here folks! If you're lucky enough to be trick or treating then enjoy yourselves! If you're like me and are too old for that then guess we gotta go spend some money on candy. Be sure to properly dress for the cold and have a great holiday season!