A/N: Hey guys! One more chapter left after this one! Reviews would be hugely appreciated.

The sequel is going to be called Don't Want No Money and it'll be up when it's up, so just check sporadically if you care enough to do so.

Chapter 6: Get The Hell Out Of Hoople

Clint and Natasha were not impressed with their dishevelled appearances when Loki and Tony turned up at the car at the prearranged time. Not even slightly.

Therefore they climbed into the car in silence, Loki grinning wickedly with satisfaction at freaking everyone out.

"Does everyone know what they must do?" Loki said airily.

A grumbled 'yes' made its way through the car.

"Gosh, you are all like children." Loki sighed. "Light the jar."

The jar was a clay jar full of herbs that when burned provided smoke that blocked vampire's scent. Loki had wanted it done as late as possible so it couldn't wear off.

They pulled over on the side of the road and stunk the whole car out with the smoke, before clearing the air and continuing on their way.

Corollaine, as the Corolla had been dubbed by Tony, was pretty much impossible to scent out - Loki had tested that - but nobody was comfortable with leaving it too close to the Alpha's mansion, so they parked it a few hundred metres down the road and crept along the treeline.

The basis for them coming at the time they were was that the mansion faced west, and therefore the few vampires that weren't sleeping probably wouldn't be too close to the windows on the side they approached from, meaning they had less of a chance of being caught and having their asses kicked, but it wasn't late enough for long shadows to be cast everywhere. A solid system, or so Loki thought.

Loki himself was clad in the clothing he'd picked up that gave him a little more dignity than Tony's baggy sweatshirt and floppy hat had; a black high-necked leather jacket with matching gloves, black trousers, boots, and a wide hat. His skin was as covered as it could be.

The smoke and mirrors was put off for later as Loki scuttled to the front door in mock-terror and dove in.

Nobody was around. Loki took this as a bonus. He'd expected the door to be locked, but evidently someone had been shirking their duties.

A tiny part of Loki hoped this might work out better than he'd planned, but the realist in him laughed hysterically at the thought.

There was a vampire napping outside Steve's door, so Loki padded up silently, unpicked the lock - he'd brought his tools this time - and slipped in, relocking it once inside so hopefully his presence would not be immediately noticeable.

Steve was awake, if a little weak from blood loss. Loki imagined they kept him a little drained to make him easier to handle. The man was hardly small.

The blonde man jerked in surprise when Loki walked in.

"You look a bit ridiculous." He slurred, frowning at Loki's attire.

"Your comment will go unappreciated." Loki hissed. "Get up. We are to unlock this window so Natasha can gain entry."

"Nat's with you?" Steve said dazedly.

"Yes, you oaf, now close your mouth and do as I say." Loki said irritably. He held up his new phone and sent a text message to Natasha: Blondie ready.

-O.O-

Despite Loki's vague and laughable hope that things would go well, things all of a sudden started to not go well.

Loki had the worst bloody luck in the world, because the vamp he'd left dozing outside Steve's room was none other than one Ivan Vanko, who had tussled with Tony a few times and held quite the grudge.

Said vampire was roused from his sleep when he became aware of the very faint smell of the one human he wanted dead above all others.

Loki probably should have showered after having sex with Tony.

In any case, Vanko woke up to a sudden blast of anger. "Anthony." He growled in his thick Russian accent. He sniffed the air carefully and ascertained the scent was coming from in the cell. Steve didn't smell like that, so Vanko knew something had changed.

He climbed to his feet, pushed his shaggy grey hair behind his ears and knocked on the door. "Meatman?" He asked. "What are you doing?"

He concentrated his excellent hearing and could have sworn he heard a decidedly not-Steve voice say "Shit fuck!"

That settled it for Vanko. He drew a gnarled fist back and punched a hole in the door, breaking it in half messily.

Loki was thinking fast. That was his specialty, right? He'd opened the window with some difficulty, and he'd spotted Natasha dashing toward the window, but he needed to hold the angry vampire off until she could climb the wall.

Right then Loki realised if he just killed Steve and acted like the whole thing was some vast misunderstanding, he could probably still fit in with the vampire brethren after this.

But if he did that, any chance of fitting in with the human brethren would be met with either a swift decapitation or a slow torture by dead man's blood.

And he kind of preferred the humans. With that thought, he nimbly leapt onto the cold mantelpiece and broke a scimitar from an ornamental display. The whole thing had been bound to stop Steve from using them, but Loki was far stronger than a human.

As Vanko pushed his way through the splintered door, Loki jumped elegantly from the mantelpiece, swung the sword, and killed him with a sharp swipe to the neck. No going back now.

Hopefully no one had heard the noise, but quite frankly Loki's luck wasn't that good and vampires had excellent hearing.

The black-haired monster dove across the room and stretched out the window to help Natasha with her climb, using his superstrength to lift her into the room with ease.

"Prepare Rogers for our departure." Loki said. Natasha didn't look even slightly fased to see him carrying a bloody sword, his fangs extended a little from bloodlust and his eyes glimmering with cunning. "I will hold off any advancements."

Loki had decided to leave the IV that was keeping Steve from exsanguinating, because removing it was probably a job for Natasha, seeing as she was unlikely to try to drink any of it. He didn't quite trust himself; bloodlust was a fickle thing.

However, the crash of the door and the subsequent smell of blood had attracted the few conscious vampires and woken many more up. Loki stood just inside the doorway, clutching the scimitar in one hand and his silver knife in the other.

"Bring it on." He grinned when he saw a few pissed-off looking vampires storming towards him.

Natasha carefully pulled the needle out of Steve's elbow joint - he couldn't take an IV down a wall, so he'd just have to deal - and helped him to his feet. She looked over her shoulder at her companion; he was using the doorway to bottleneck the attack, sword and dagger flashing, fending off vampires. There were already two corpses on the floor, Vanko's and another, and Loki was heading towards more.

The red-haired woman couldn't deny she was a bit impressed. The vamp was a tough bastard.

"Laufeyson!" Natasha said as she supported Steve to the window. "Time to go!" Then she turned and hurriedly said to Steve "You climb out the window. Loki's super strong, he'll catch you."

Loki backed across the room and shoved Steve's bed easily into the doorway, stalling the assault for a second as he handed his scimitar to Natasha, sheathed his dagger and scrambled out the open window to drop easily down two floors and land with a graceful roll. Fortunately he'd not only kept his hat on but was wearing a fucktonne of sunblock (Tony had thought it wouldn't work but he seemed okay) so he wasn't burning in the afternoon sun.

"Rogers!" Loki called.

Steve woozily folded his large frame out the window, clinging to the sill as Loki positioned himself under him.

Right then, the Alpha made it upstairs and realised what was going on. He plumbed his psychic connection to the other vampires, ascertaining all known information and consequently realising part of the opposition was one of his vampires.

Just as Steve let go, Loki crumpled from the force of the Alpha's sudden anger and crashed his skull against the wall of the house, tearing a gash along his scalp. Then Steve landed on him and Loki was sure he heard something break, but his spindly form still cushioned the blonde man's fall, meaning they could carry on.

Loki scrambled quickly to his feet and caught Natasha as she smoothly leapt from the window into his arms. As soon as he'd put her down he staggered again, fighting the Alpha furiously, trying to force his humanity to the surface to lock the Alpha out. He'd done it before, but he had been taken unawares this time.

Natasha was the only able-bodied, able-minded member of their team that wasn't waiting at the treeline. Leaving Loki to (from her perspective) have a little mental breakdown, she tugged Steve up, leaning his huge form against her small, curvy one, stumbling towards the treeline. A brief glance behind her confirmed that the vampires couldn't immediately follow, which was a bonus. Once they got coats and umbrellas and the like, Team Free Steve would be screwed.

Tony and Clint had been watching the whole ordeal from a distance, and as soon as they saw the drama unfolding next to the mansion wall they dashed forward.

It was rather startling to see the slice on Loki's head and the bizarre buckling of his chest that suggested a broken rib, but even more startling was that his green eyes were bloodshot (somehow?) and his fangs were fully extended.

"Shit, are you okay?!" Tony gasped.

Loki felt the fog in his head clearing. He'd beaten it, for now, just in time to hear Tony ask that. "Yesss." He said with difficulty. "It is not easy."

Tony had no idea what he was talking about, but time was of the essence so he grabbed Steve's other side and helped haul him off the property, leaving Loki to hobble quickly after and Clint to watch their backs, carrying the scimitar Natasha had handed off to him. At least the vampire didn't need to breathe much, so that made the whole broken rib situation easier.

Everyone now regretted parking the car any distance away, especially with the threat of being eaten by their pursuers once said pursuers got their shit together.

Loki got there first, being both supernaturally fast and not heaving over 200 pounds of semi-conscious man, and opened the car with the keys he'd pickpocketed off Tony.

"Get him in!" Loki said urgently, gesturing at the back seat.

Clint hopped in and helped Steve into a semi-horizontal position on the seat, before hopping in the driver's seat, stowing his sword and inviting everyone to squish into Corollaine somehow.

"Let's get the hell out of Dodge." He growled as he turned the ignition and slammed down the accelerator.