The nights at Malfoy Manor were truly pure horror. Remus sensed the dark magic growing stronger as soon as the darkness enveloped the house. It was getting colder and no spell Remus knew could change the temperature. Sometimes he thought that he could see his own breathing in a small, foggy cloudlet. Sometimes the goose bumps appeared even with several layers of clothes. Sometimes Remus thought that he could hear someone else than Teddy crying.

Like tonight…

Remus covered Teddy with his blanket as he noticed the sobbing noises from outside the door, drowned by the thick wood but still audible for his wolf senses. At first he tried to ignore them, brushing the hair out of Teddy's face and thinking about something completely different.

But then he thought that he recognised the voice. Frowning, Remus listened for a moment before he left the room, but not without casting a charm that made him hear when Teddy woke and cried. In this huge house you would never hear him, with or without wolf senses.

Remus walked along the corridors, following the sobs that grew louder with each step. He found Draco in the living room in front of the dusty and ashy fireplace. Knees pulled up to his chest, Draco slowly rocked back and forth, crying in a way Remus had never expected. Draco sobbed bitterly, looking so utterly vulnerable that Remus just wanted to hug him.

He did not know why he suppressed that urge.

Slowly, he approached Draco, who suddenly stopped rocking. Remus stood still and caught his breath as Draco's tear-filled eyes met his. Gulping hard, he moved to sit down beside Draco, who immediately rose to his feet, straightening himself and smoothing his robes.

"What are you doing here?" Draco hissed, taking a step backwards so that Remus could not see his face in the shadows anymore. "Sneaking around at such a late time isn't very –"

"I heard you crying," Remus interrupted with a smile that did not soften Draco up. "I just wanted to make sure that everything is okay. No sneaking around."

Draco eyed him suspiciously. "I didn't cry," he said and if his eyes were not reddened Remus would have believed him. "I'm not your stupid crying machine."

Remus shook his head disapprovingly. "Don't call Teddy this just because you are offended. And you don't need to be. It's okay to cry from time to time. Even for men."

"Oh, really? Well, then go ahead and join your son when he starts annoying everyone again with his wailing," Draco snapped at Remus, who tried to stay calm. Draco was just trying to protect himself because Remus had seen him in this state of vulnerability.

"Draco," Remus sighed and gave Draco a pleading look. "Is there something you want to talk about?"

"Yeah, why are you sneaking around here at night? Searching for some dark objects you can show to your friends so that I can join my father in Azkaban?" Draco folded his arms in front of his chest, turning around and showing Remus his slightly shaking back. "I knew it was a mistake to invite you, too. But without you Andromeda wouldn't have come. Still… you make everything worse…"

Remus could not really follow Draco's mumbling but he took advantage of his absentmindedness to approach him again. "I don't want to make anything worse for you, Draco. Have I said something to offend you?"

Draco whirled around to face him, face paler than usual and eyes wide with paranoia. "It's your presence that makes everything worse," he said, mouth twitching upwards into a maniac smile. "I didn't really want to come close to creatures like you again ever in my life. And now you're running around in my house to catch me in such humiliating situations."

Remus could see in Draco's face that he was close to tears again. "You know that I didn't come to laugh at you."

Draco nodded, now hugging himself more than crossing his arms defensively. "I don't want anyone to see my cry again," he whispered and took a deep, shaking breath. "You say it's all right, but… you don't have a clue what they did to me whenever one single tear was visible in my eyes. And it didn't matter if it were tears of pain or compassion. They just took every opportunity to…" Draco paused and looked at Remus, suddenly narrowing his eyes.

Remus was not sure what he had done to receive such a look, seeing a spark of hatred glowing in the grey eyes. He waved at Draco to continue, making Draco snort with his nod.

"Do not pity me," Draco almost drawled. "Do not lie to me, okay? Feel free to tell me that I'm weak. It's not like it's a secret…"

"I think anyone living in this house would burst into tears sooner or later," Remus confessed and Draco blinked at this odd comment. "Don't be ashamed, Draco. You've been through a lot and…"

Draco stopped him by raising his hand. "I don't want your pity. False or not. I don't…" He lowered his voice so that Remus barely heard him. "I don't deserve it after everything I've done."

"Come here," Remus said and reached out a hand to Draco, who tilted his head in confusion. He seemed to be shocked as Remus pulled him into his arms, giving a token push against Remus' chest before digging his fingers into his shirt. Draco stiffened as Remus' hand pressed gently against his back to push him closer. The warmth of his body made this a lot more pleasant than Remus had thought it could be in this situation. "Draco, you should stop drowning yourself in self-pity. You're alive. That's all that matters."

"Alive?" Draco relaxed a little, splaying his fingers over Remus' chest and although his hand was cold it seemed to burn a hole into Remus' flesh right there where he could feel the frantic beat of his heart. "What does that matter when I lost everything? My reputation, my future prospects… my friends. They think I'm a traitor, a loser, whatever they think, in the end they don't want to talk to me anymore. Like everyone else in this bloody country. The name Malfoy is mud these days, and it's my fault."

Before Remus could open his mouth his attempt to comfort Draco was drowned by the heartbreaking sob that escaped Draco's throat. Remus felt soft hair brushing over his cheek and jaw as Draco leant forward to press his forehead against Remus's shoulder.

"What does imy/i life matter anymore? My presence, my actions… they don't make a difference anymore. Nobody cares, nobody will notice, because I'm locked up in this house if I want to stay alive, but for what? I don't know where my place is. It feels like a harsh wind is keeping me from taking the direction I want. This is why I'm crying. Because I mourn the life I wanted to live." Draco pushed Remus away but stayed barely an inch away from him, looking up to him with eyes that seemed to be afloat with tears. "Don't tell me that I pity myself. I don't even want my own pity."

"But you do. That is pity," Remus said softly but Draco shook his head.

"It's not," he said, shutting his eyes tightly as Remus' hand moved to his cheek to wipe a tear away. "No, it's not."

"You can still live the life you want," Remus said with a sigh. "It just frightens you that you have to work for it now. Adjusting your sails to the wind is harder than complaining about it, or just waiting for it to change. But it's already working very well, isn't it? Look how easily you convinced me to live in this scary place with my son, who thinks the creaking noises are funny." Remus smiled as Draco slowly opened his eyes again. "And it's good that you don't want to grow accustom to this state of being locked up. All you need to do is lose your fear of…"

"Of other people's opinions?" Draco asked.

Remus shrugged. "I thought more about the tomatoes they'll throw at you in Diagon Ally."

Draco laughed softly and punched Remus lightly against the chest. "Pathetic speeches fit you better than trying to be funny," he said, frowning as he noticed the small distance between them. He cleared his throat and took a step backwards, turning around to hide the red colour of his cheeks but Remus could see the blush creeping up Draco's neck. "I didn't mean to yell at you…"

"It's okay, Draco," Remus said, placing a hand on Draco's shoulder and rubbing his back gently. He could feel Draco's shoulder blades and the rippled spine as he moved his hand to the other side, wrapping his arm around Draco. "What about some hot chocolate?"

Draco shrugged unsurely. "I'm not sure if we should wake the house-elves. They're strange these days. I'm anxious to avoid trouble with them as I really don't want to clean this house on my own." Draco's eyes lingered on the hand on his shoulder and Remus considered taking it away for a moment, but instead he exerted a slight pressure to make Draco move.

"We don't need the house-elves for hot chocolate," Remus said genially.

Draco raised his eyebrows. "I don't know how to make hot chocolate."

Remus chuckled. He could just picture how lost Draco was in his own kitchen. "Leave it to me then." Maybe Remus just imagined it but he had the vague feeling that Draco moved a little closer, leaning against him with body and face, but before he could ensure himself Draco rushed towards the kitchen door. As he entered the room, Draco had already sat down on the stool next to the counter, fingers drumming on the wood as though he had to wait an eternity for Remus.

"Well," Draco said, looking around in the huge room before flashing Remus a challenging smile. "Now, show me that you can find anything in here."

Remus pulled out his wand and iAccio/ied the required ingredients. Draco rolled his eyes and waved scornfully at Remus, who let out a low chuckle.

Passing Draco his cup, Remus sat down next to him and spun his own hot chocolate in his hands. Draco's sips were barely audible, but they somehow increased the need to turn around and watch him drinking. Remus gazed at Draco out of the corners of his eyes, focused on the full and rosy lips that swallowed sip after sip. The wetness made his lips shine seductively and Remus immediately shifted his gaze away as Draco's tongue darted out to lick over his lips.

"So, what do you want to do now, Draco? And you know what I mean. You're too young just to sit at home and do nothing," Remus said hoarsely, glancing at Draco, who turned to look at him, making a scoffing noise.

"I like doing nothing," he said. "That's not my problem. And actually, I'm a full-time babysitter at the moment." He elbowed Remus, catching him flat-footed and nearly knocking him off his stool. Draco stared at him in wonderment and grabbed his cup tightly with both hands, apparently mistrusting his own hands.

Remus cleared his throat and took a deep breath before facing Draco again, who still looked puzzled. "Sorry, I –"

"It's because I said that I never wanted to come close to creatures like you again, right?" Draco interrupted, searching Remus' eyes. "You're… hurt."

Remus opened his mouth but did not know what he could say so he just shook his head, feeling like a complete idiot.

Draco looked like he thought something similar. "I… I think it wouldn't be good for me to hurt you. I'll try not to do it again. After all… you are my friend."

At first, Remus was flattered and smiled full-heartily at Draco, but as Draco's mouth turned more into a smirk than a smile Remus considered that being Draco Malfoy's friend might not be something he wanted to be. Draco's view of what friends were was completely different from Remus', and he actually did not want to end up on Draco's right flank, threatening everyone who came close to Draco with his fists.

"And that after everything I've done…" Draco's smirk became softer, turned into a real smile, and he reached out to grab Remus' hand tightly. "Thank you…" Well, hearing these words out of Draco's mouth was definitely a rare thing Remus would cherish as long as possible.

"Will you tell me what upset you?" Remus asked cautiously, turning his hand so that he could wrap his fingers around Draco's soft hand. Confused, Draco gazed down at their joined hands before looking up and frowning at Remus, lips slightly parted. Remus noticed Draco's rapid breathing and after several seconds in which Draco did not say a single word Remus leant closer.

Draco's eyes fluttered closed and Remus was sure that he could already feel the shaking lips on his as a loud ringing noise made him jump. Remus blushed deeply, pressing a hand to his forehead and searching for his wand to stop the high-pitched noise, while Draco stared absently at the wall.

"Teddy woke up," Remus explained and Draco nodded. "Uhm… Have a good night, Draco." Again, Draco only nodded, turning his back to Remus, who waited for a moment in the doorframe in case that Draco wanted to say something to him.

Of course Draco did not want to talk to him. Remus had just destroyed every promise of friendship they had built up because he was a bloody old pervert – at least that was what Draco was thinking now. Blushing deeply, Remus turned around and stormed out of the kitchen.